A/N:

So this is the chapter where Edward finally finds out. Hope it meets expectations.

Disclaimer: Everything twilight related belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I own the original content, ideas and intellectual property of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 8

BPOV

I stood in the shower letting the icy water wash over me and willing it to wash everything away. Ever since the night that had turned my world upside down, I'd been having all my showers with icy cold water. And I'd had many since then, trying desperately to get clean. It never helped. This filth, this crawling, nauseating filth, was not something that could be washed off with a mere bar of soap and some water. I didn't know why I kept trying.

I still felt as sore as ever. None of the bruises covering my body had faded even a little. I would have thought that after just over three days some would have faded a bit. But no. Just like all the psychological wounds, the physical ones hadn't faded in the slightest.

Not that I cared. What difference did it make, anyway? In fact, maybe it would've been better if the physical wounds had been much worse because that way it might have distracted me from all the horrible memories I couldn't escape.

And why hadn't they been much worse? Jacob was strong. Superhuman strong. A horrible thought struck me. What if I hadn't fought hard enough? I knew Jacob could overpower me easily, but I still should have tried everything I could to get away. What if I'd kept screaming? Most likely no one would've been able to hear me, but what if someone had heard? I should've at least tried everything. Even though my strength was no match for his, maybe if I'd put up more of a fight he would've lost interest in me. I was such a failure.

I vowed that next time I would do everything I could to fight him off.

Oh, God. Next time was today. I'd been trying to forget that fact, but it came rushing back to me with such a force that my body swayed and I had to put my palm against the shower wall to steady myself.

How was I going to be able to just willingly go back to Jacob for more?

I couldn't hold in the tears as they flowed down my cheeks and mixed with the freezing water. I wanted to curl up into a ball and never come out. I wanted to stand here until the cold water seeped into my bones and freed me from this empty vessel I'd become. I couldn't go back there. I couldn't.

But I had to.

Avoiding him would only make him furious, and then God only knew what he would be capable of then, with a pack of wolves at his beck and call.

There were no other options. Besides, even if by some miracle I could escape him, it wouldn't change what had happened. It wouldn't restore what he had shamelessly and ruthlessly torn from me. It wouldn't repair what little there was left of my worthless existence. It wouldn't bring back the girl who could smile without the bitter and painful truth belying its subterfuge. It wouldn't bring back the girl who, even then, was but a shadow of someone worthy enough of Edward's love.

He would never want me anymore.

I staggered against the tiles and gulped back a sob, pressing my forehead against the cool stone—it reminded me of Edward.

Closing my eyes against the pain, I sucked in a breath before turning off the shower and wiping away my tears. I still had some time left with him, and I was going to make the most of it.

I wasn't going to school today, and after what had happened yesterday neither Charlie nor Edward had argued with me on that, though it had taken a lot of convincing to get Charlie to leave me alone and go to work. Now he was worried about me, too. He had finally agreed, but he probably wouldn't have if he'd known that Edward was staying with me. Even though he did seem to have accepted Edward more now, Edward and I hadn't wanted to push it.

I dressed quickly in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, along with a sweater on top to hide the bruises on my arms. It was a good thing Forks was cold, or wearing long sleeves all the time might have made people suspicious.

I partially dried my hair so that it wasn't soaking wet, but only because I knew Edward would pester me about it if I didn't. He was nothing if not prudent when it came to my human frailties, even with something as minor as catching a chill. But I only stuck a brush through it once. Who cared what I looked like now?

When I was ready, I glanced at the clock by my bed. It read 10:07 am. I had less than four hours before I would have to relive my worst nightmare. I knew I also had to figure out a way to get Edward to leave before I had to go to Jacob's house. There was no way he would let me go there now. He was way too suspicious of Jacob already.

I would worry about it closer to the time, I decided. It shouldn't be too difficult. I would just have to tell him I wanted to be alone for a bit. He didn't usually deny me what I wanted.

When I entered the living room, he turned from the window to face me, and my chest twisted into a tight knot at the sight of him standing there, an epitome of perfection in its purest form. How could I have ever considered myself worthy of him, even if only briefly?

Still, I would never love anyone but him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his gaze searching. I knew he was referring to more than just my 'flu.'

I scrapped the pain away to just below the surface. I had to keep myself together. I had to keep him safe. "Okay," I lied, but I could tell he didn't believe me. He continued to stare me in the eye as if he were trying to read my mind. I attempted to divert his attention to something else. "I should get some breakfast," I said.

"Charlie made you some," he told me. "It's in the kitchen."

A second later he was standing in front of me, holding out a plate with what looked like scrambled eggs, and a glass of milk.

Mumbling my thanks, I took the plate and glass from his outstretched hands. "So now that you're stuck with me for the day," I attempted to joke, "what do you want to do?" Bending to place the plate of not-so-appetizing looking scrambled eggs down on the coffee table beside me, I sensed his eyes studying me again.

"If you don't want me to stay, I can leave," he said, his voice low.

My head snapped up. "No!" I cried. The word was out before I could stop it, and I wanted to kick myself when I heard the franticness in my voice.

His eyes narrowed, but there was a softness there as well.

He continued to study me for a moment before responding, and as I struggled to collect myself and figure out how to mend the damage, his next words sent everything around me spinning off its axis.

"…how about we watch a movie?"

My hand shook, slopping milk on my shirt, and the glass slid from my fingers, shattering at my feet. Maybe a part of me knew that it wasn't Jacob's voice, that I stood in my own house and not his, but it didn't seem to matter; the panic tore through me and suddenly the only thing that mattered was getting away.

I took off at a run, but I didn't get very far when a stabbing pain coursed through the bottom of my foot. I fell to my knees, a desperate sob catching in my throat. I felt another prick to the side of my leg when I fell. I ignored it. I had to escape. I couldn't let it happen again. I couldn't. I felt more prickles of pain as I put my palms to the floor and tried to scramble to my feet.

His arms came around me then, holding me in place. No. No! I struggled against them, but they didn't release me. Only distantly did I hear his voice: "Shh, it's alright, it's alright, calm down, calm down…" The arms pulled me against a solid chest, and something tugged at my mind. Something was different. He held me as if to prevent me from getting away, but that was all. His arms did not crush me with bruising force, and I felt his cheek against the top of my head. It felt like…like he cared. Like he wanted to protect me.

Then I realized.

Edward.

I stopped struggling immediately, my muscles sagging in relief as I breathed in his familiar scent and took in his cool, solid frame.

He shifted me in his arms to meet my gaze, and his eyes were pained.

I looked away. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I was even fighting Edward now, thinking he was Jacob. What was wrong with me? Why did my mind keep playing tricks on me?

With gentle hands he cradled my face, his thumbs wiping at tears that I hadn't even noticed had fallen. "Please tell me what's going on, love," he begged softly.

"I can't," I whispered.

He drew in an agonized breath and then wordlessly reached down to grasp my ankle and inspect my foot.

I glanced down and noticed that glass was scattered all around me. I realized that that must have been why Edward had held me even though I had been struggling to get away. He'd been trying to stop me from hurting myself with the broken glass. I was barefoot, and I'd stepped on a piece of glass in my attempt to escape. It wasn't bleeding much, but it was enough to make me look away. I hated the sight and smell of blood. It was actually kind of ironic because Edward was now examining the wound to see if the glass was still there, and the blood didn't seem to bother him at all. He'd told me that he no longer craved my blood because the thought of hurting me had trumped the instinct. I guess he had gotten over it because he looked fine and was breathing normally.

"It's not too deep. I'll just get something to patch it up with." Before his words even registered in my mind, he was back with a bandage and disinfectant.

After he'd cleaned and bandaged my foot, he turned to fix me with a determined gaze, and said, "You can tell me anything, Bella."

I started to get really flustered. "No…you don't understand!"

"Then explain it to me," he said sternly.

When I heard his firm tone and saw his expression, I knew he was going to keep pushing me for answers. I also knew that I couldn't come up with any more excuses that he would believe. That left me with only one alternative in which I could keep my secret and keep him safe; I had to push him away.

I stood up so suddenly that I felt dizzy, but I ignored it. "No! Just leave me alone! I want to be alone!" With that, I turned and ran upstairs before I could fall apart, slamming my bedroom door behind me.

I sank down on my bed and remained frozen for two whole minutes, feeling completely numb. Then the desolation hit me with so much force that I couldn't breathe, and I started to take quick shallow breaths. Next, I felt so angry with myself that I wanted to beat my head against the wall. Why did I have to screw up everything? Now my time with Edward was already over, and it certainly hadn't ended on a happy note. I was sure that after my outburst he would leave me alone like I'd asked, at least for a while, but I would have to be gone by the time he came back. With that thought, an overwhelming amount of grief washed over me, and silent tears once again flowed down my cheeks. I wiped at them angrily.

As I cast my eyes downward, I noticed that my shirt was soaked with the milk I'd spilled, reminding me of my inability to distinguish between memories and reality. Frustrated, I pushed to my feet and pulled off my sweater. I then started to pull off my T-shirt. I'd just pulled it up over my back when I heard a loud gasp behind me. I jumped and swung around while pulling my shirt back down.

EPOV

The sound of Bella's bedroom door slamming shut resonated through me.

I sat there, unmoving, dazed by her outburst, and for the briefest of moments I felt hurt. Hurt that she was shutting me out. Hurt that she didn't trust me enough to tell me what was wrong. After those initial thoughts went through my head, however, rational thought flooded back. There was much, much more to this than that. Something was horribly wrong. I knew it with every fiber of my being. She needed me, and she needed me now.

I didn't want to give her a chance to try and push me away again, so when I got to her closed bedroom door, I opened it without knocking first.

The sight before me caused me to gasp out in shock without thinking. Bella was facing away from the door and in the process of removing her T-shirt. She had just pulled it over her back, exposing me to its startling condition.

Her entire back was covered in a mass of purple and blue, the worst area being her lower back. When she heard my gasp she jumped and swung around, pulling her shirt back down. But it was too late. I had already seen. And as if her back wasn't bad enough, when she swung around, I caught a glimpse of her stomach before she pulled her shirt back down completely. But a glimpse was enough for me to see that it, too, was covered in a mass of painful looking bruises.

I slowly forced out the air lodged in my chest, the awfulness of what I'd just seen coiling tight in its wake and twisting with a horrible sense of dread. "Oh, Bella," I whispered. "What happened to you, love?"

She didn't speak. She just shook her head and tears flowed down her face, falling fast. Although she still wouldn't talk to me about what had happened, she had given up trying to hide her feelings, and in that moment I would have done anything to take away the tormented look in her eyes.

I couldn't allow myself to think of all the different possible scenarios of what might have happened. It couldn't be as horrible as I imagined. It just couldn't.

I took a tentative step toward her, and she shook her head again. She didn't back away, though, and I reached out to caress her cheek, willing her pain away. Willing her to tell me what had happened so that I could fix it somehow, despite the very obvious fact that the damage had already been done. "Talk to me," I tried again, my voice low and desperate.

She looked away, as if ashamed.

Why was she ashamed? She couldn't possibly think that by telling me what had happened I would somehow think less of her. Could she? I placed my hands on either side of her face and leaned my forehead against hers. "Bella," I whispered, "nothing could ever change the way I feel about you."

She just shook her head again, and more tears pooled in her eyes.

How incredibly frustrating her silence was! I could read all her feelings on her face, but she wouldn't let anything out. Even shouting and screaming would be preferable to this. Anything would be preferable to this. Anything.

I caught more of her tears with my fingertips, my hands still delicately cradling her face. "Bella, please, I can't bear this."

It was then that I noticed her arms. Now that she wore only a T-shirt I could see her forearms and most of her upper arms as well. I pushed up her sleeve to reveal her whole arm, along with her shoulder. I stopped breathing. I'd thought the bruise I'd seen on her forearm was bad. Her upper arms were much, much worse. "My God, Bella. Who did this to you?" My voice was low and grating, foreign to even my own ears.

I'd been deliberately focusing on the what instead of the who because I'd known that I wouldn't be able to control my anger and that it was not what Bella needed, but I couldn't ignore it any longer. Due to my enhanced vision, I could see the details of the markings on her skin. The purple and blue marks were in the shape of fingers. I could tell where she had been grabbed multiple times by someone with very large hands. Someone who was very strong. No…scratch that. Someone with inhuman strength. I could add it all up. It was completely obvious.

A burning rage bubbled up from inside me, clouding my vision, filling my mind with murderous rampage. Bella still hadn't said a word, but she hadn't pulled away while I'd been assessing her arms. "Jacob," I spat, venom coating the name as it left my mouth. "He did this to you!"

Again she didn't reply, but the answer was written all over her face. Not that I had needed any conformation. The evidence was right in front of me. It might not have been as easy for human eyes to be completely sure, but I could tell that no human could have caused marks like the ones on her arms. Not to mention the size of the hand marks and the knowledge that she'd gone to see him last Friday, after which this had all started. There was no question about it. Jacob had done this to her.

My teeth snapped together, and I had to fight to keep myself rooted where I stood. I still needed to figure out exactly what he had done.

Something tugged at my subconscious, and I glanced back at the discolorations on her arms. From the markings it looked like force had been used to hold her down, as if…

Oh, God, no.

A painful jolt slammed me from the inside with tremendous force.

It couldn't be true.

But I knew it was. All the signs were there. They'd been there all along. I just hadn't wanted to believe it.

The way she had reacted when I'd tried to kiss her…

And when Mike had put his arm around her…

I also knew that Bella was strong. She wouldn't be acting the way she was unless something terrible had happened to her…

Something like being raped by her best friend.

My muscles locked in place, and a deadly snarl escaped my lips. Images flashed before me, blinding, tearing. I wanted to rip Jacob apart right that very second. I wanted it so savagely that my entire body pulsed with the need for it.

I was across the room before I even realized it, preparing to leap out the window in search of that…that…animal, but I froze in my tracks when Bella's sob pierced through me. I turned to see her huddled against the back wall of the room, her small frame shaking with sobs.

I couldn't even remember moving my feet, but I was soon dropping to my knees in front of her. I felt almost numb as the awful realization truly began to sink in. All I could think of was, No, no, not my Bella. Please, no. "Bella…" I started, my voice catching in my throat. "You need to tell me what happened, love."

"N…no! I c…can't! Go away!"

"Bella…" I whispered again, reaching out to touch her shoulder, but she jerked away and I felt like my heart had just been ripped into two.

"Leave me alone! I…I need to be alone for a while. Please."

Her last pleading word knifed through me. Please. How could so much be packed into one simple word?

She didn't want me here. Didn't want me to touch her. But how could I leave her like this?

A tornado of conflicting emotions was pulling me in all directions. But it was the anger I could feel seething beneath my skin once again that decided me.

I couldn't trust myself. Not now. She was much, much too fragile. I needed a moment. A moment to grovel for what little strength and rational thought I had left before it all crumbled completely.

"Alright," I said finally, my voice a strangled whisper, "if that's what you need."

When her body shook once again as she attempted to suppress another sob, it took everything I had not to gather her up into my arms.

And suddenly the anger was burning out from within me, hot and angry, fueled by the pain lacing through my heart.

I was on my feet and out the window before it could claim me completely with Bella still in the line of fire.

BPOV

Edward stood in the doorway, frozen in shock.

He'd seen them. He'd seen the bruises. Oh, God. What would I tell him?

"Oh, Bella," he whispered once he'd recovered from his initial shock. "What happened to you, love?"

He gazed at me with so much love and concern that I found I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and accept the comfort I knew I would find there. But I couldn't. I had to push him away so that I could make it to Jacob's without him knowing. Besides, I didn't deserve his comfort.

I knew that he was in way too far for me to be able to lie my way out, so I decided to keep silent, hoping he wouldn't be able to figure it out. However, I found that I could no longer control my deep feelings of grief enough to be able to hide them any longer. I felt tears flow down my face again, and I just shook my head thinking: No, no, he can't find out.

He moved toward me slowly, and I shook my head again as a voice in my head screamed, No, no! Back away! You have to push him away! But I found that I couldn't listen. He reached out and caressed my cheek, and I tried to commit the feeling to memory.

"Talk to me," he implored.

I looked away in shame.

He placed his hands on either side of my face and leaned his forehead against mine. "Bella," he whispered, "nothing could ever change the way I feel about you."

No. He didn't understand. He couldn't possibly love me anymore if he knew. I was damaged beyond repair, and it was all my fault. I shook my head again, but he still kept his hold on my face and his forehead against mine.

"Bella, please, I can't bear this," he said, the anguish in his soft voice ripping through me.

Then his gaze fell to my arm, and his gentle fingers caught the sleeve of my T-shirt, pushing the fabric up to my shoulder.

Again, I found I couldn't pull away from his touch.

"My God, Bella. Who did this to you?"

No, no, no. He was going to figure it out. What should I say? Before I could think of anything, Edward's eyes lit with fury. "Jacob," he spat. "He did this to you!"

The floor seemed to disappear beneath my feet, fear rushing through me like a tidal wave. I was never going to be able to save him now. Even though he didn't know everything, he knew enough now, and there was no way I could deny that it was Jacob. He hadn't even phrased it as a question.

As I saw Edward's anger build, I began to feel worse and worse. I slid down to the floor against the back wall of my room, and a sob escaped. I knew Edward would want to go after Jacob now. Maybe if I could get Edward to leave me now, I would be able to get to Jacob before him, because he wouldn't be so stupid that he would attempt to fight Jacob without some kind of a plan. He would have to talk to his family first and come up with a plan. That should give me enough time to get to Jacob myself, and then Jacob would take me away and hide. Then Edward and his family would be safe. I had to try. I had to get him to leave me.

He dropped to his knees in front of me, and once again I had to resist the urge to throw myself into the comfort of his arms. "Bella…" he whispered. "You need to tell me what happened, love."

"N…No! I c…can't! Go away!"

"Bella…" he whispered again, and when he slowly reached out to touch my shoulder, I forced myself to jerk away, keeping my gaze averted from his, unable to see the hurt in his eyes.

"Leave me alone!" I cried. "I…I need to be alone for a while. Please," I pleaded, my voice fading to a whisper.

He didn't answer right away, and I kept praying over and over that he would agree to leave.

Finally, he spoke. "Alright," he said quietly, and the obvious pain in his voice was unbearable, "if that's what you need."

With that he was gone, and it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. For several minutes, I sat there, unmoving. I would never be able to see him again. The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that I had to carry out my plan. I had to save him. I had to get to Jacob before he did.

But I found it much more difficult to carry out as all my horrible memories started to flash before me. How could I go through that again?

At that moment, I heard a scrapping sound, and when I looked toward my window, I saw that I didn't have a choice anymore. I felt my body shake in terror as I stared at the face of my monster, and this time, it wasn't in my head.

"Hi, Bella," Jacob greeted as he strode toward me.

EPOV

No.

It couldn't be true.

Not my Bella.

I'd jumped to conclusions, that was all. The world could not be so cruel as to let this happen to such a warm, kind spirit as was my Bella. It couldn't. It couldn't, it couldn't, it couldn't…

But it had.

And was it not a cruel twist of fate? For had I not once hunted and killed this very same kind of monster? Perhaps the Gods had seen fit to punish me for upsetting the balance, for taking fate out of their hands. Why else could they have done this? Bella, my beloved Bella, was the last person on earth to have deserved this; only to punish me could they have done this. It was my fault.

And in more ways than one.

Why, oh, why, had I left her alone with that monster? I'd known the beast couldn't be trusted!

My legs propelled me forward. I was running, I realized, the distance between me and the treaty line closing rapidly. Not that the invisible barrier was going to stop me. Nothing was going to stop me. Now that I was alone, I didn't have to hold back. And my hatred and anger toward him exploded within me, the horror of what he'd done taking shape in my mind: him on top of her…holding her down…

I would kill him.

As surely as the sun rises and falls every day, I would kill him.

Slowly and painfully.

First, I'd break every bone in his body, taking pleasure in his screams of agony as I did so, and then I'd—

"Hey, Edward!"

So consumed with my revenge was I that I didn't hear him approach, and I slowed unconsciously due to my surprise.

That was all Emmett needed to catch up with me; he tackled me to the ground, laughing. "Gotcha! You loosing your touch there, bro?"

Snarling, I came to my feet again, but Emmett flung himself into my path. "Whoa there. Hang on a sec." He really does look like he's gone over the top. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry.

"Get out of my way, Emmett," I growled.

"Look, Alice sent me here to—"

That got my attention. "Alice? What did she see?"

"I was just getting to that, jeez."

But he didn't need to get to it. I heard the answer in his thoughts right after I'd asked the question.

"That's it?! You're here to stop me, but you don't even know why I'm angry?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE DID TO HER!" My whole body flared hot, shaking violently, the need for vengeance so powerful it was an all-encompassing need, a necessity.

"Whoa. Now just calm down and think this through before yo—"

"He raped her, Emmett!" The force of saying it aloud for the first time slammed into me unexpectedly, and I nearly crumpled completely with the weight of it. Only the burning need to snap that dog into tiny pieces kept me on my feet.

It took several seconds before my words hit home. Emmett stood there frozen in shock and disbelief, his thoughts muddled up. Once he'd gotten over his initial shock he let out a ferocious growl. "WELL WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING STANDING AROUND HERE FOR?! WE'VE GOT A FILTHY MUTT THAT NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON!"

It was the reaction I'd been expecting and hoping for. I knew it would hit a nerve because Rosalie had been raped in her human life. I also knew that Emmett already loved Bella like a little sister and was protective of her the way a big brother would be.

I certainly didn't need any convincing, but just as we were about to take off running, a powerful wave of calm washed over us, and I heard Jasper's voice. "This isn't the way."

His stood in front of me now, his hands outstretched as one might coax a murderer to drop a gun.

His gift had not succeeded in calming me, but it had succeeded in calming Emmett. And if they both wanted to stop me, two against one were not odds in my favor. Alice must have seen that Emmett wouldn't be enough, and so they had sent Jasper as well.

Jasper looked me in the eye. "I heard what you said he did, Edward, and I would like nothing more than to see him get what he deserves." He paused. "But, we can't just go over there without a plan. You know what will happen the moment you cross the treaty line. Did you really think that you could fight the entire pack on your own? What good would you be to Bella if you were killed trying to get revenge? It would destroy her. We need to go home and discuss this with the others."

Bella. Of course, he knew exactly what card to play to sway me. My soft, warm Bella. She was always more important. Still, though the rational part of me knew he was right, only the knowledge that I didn't stand a chance against both my brothers kept me from following the much larger part of me—the one that burned to get my hands on Jacob Black.

xxxx

When we arrived they were all ready and waiting. I focused on Alice first.

She knew. The devastation in her eyes told me that before I even read her thoughts. She hadn't seen what had happened when I was with Bella earlier on, but she'd seen me telling Emmett what Jacob had done. I'm so sorry, Edward. I can't believe…Oh, God, poor Bella! Her thoughts were frantic. She was still in shock.

I was oddly calm now, numb maybe. It helped me think. "Alice," I began, ignoring the concerned looks from Carlisle and Esme as they tried to figure out what was going on, "I know you're having problems seeing Bella clearly, but can you please try again and really concentrate? I want to see if you can see anything that will help us."

"Edward…"

"Please, Alice," I said through my teeth now. "It's not like when the wolves are around and you can't see anything at all. You were still able to see some blurry flashes, so I think it might work if you focus more."

She sighed and closed her eyes, concentrating on Bella. I waited, expecting to see flashes like a blurry TV and hoping that Alice might be able to clear up the images. Instead there was nothing.

At first I was confused, but then Alice's eyes flew open and she stared at me in horror, her thoughts racing.

Then it hit me. Alice's visions of Bella would only turn up completely blank if Bella were with a werewolf.

Without a word or a backward glance, I took off running at a speed faster than I had ever run before, praying that I wasn't already too late.

A/N: Should I run for cover? Not a nice place to leave it. I know. Sorry. But I would like to remind you (without giving too much away) that you will not see Bella go through anything even close to as bad as chapter 4. Hope that makes you feel better. Also, just a note about Edward. He definitely made a big mistake in leaving Bella but he is very angry and hurt, and he wasn't thinking straight. You can bet that he is going to be beating himself up about that as well as not preventing Jacob from hurting her in the first place.

Song inspiration is "I'll stand by you" by the Pretenders.