Another night I had spent terrorized by the monsters that lurk in Mystic Falls. I am well aware of what is happening to me. My skin, my ears, my smell, my eyes, all of my senses tingled with anxiety and a craving. A strong craving that no amount of food can fill. I feel empty and angry.
My mother's smell snuck into my room from the bottom of the stairs. The rhythm of her footsteps echoed through my ears like a little girl screaming in a hallway. It won't stop and it's painful.
She took a deep breath and tapped on my door.
"Go away." I pulled my bleach white comforter over my head.
"You've been locked up in this room for days. What will people think if the Mayor's daughter becomes a hermit?" She snapped.
"They will get the fuck over it, won't they?" I yelled back.
A few clicks and my door flew open hitting the wall.
"What did you just say?" I pulled the cover down and peered over the blanket. Her face was beat red.
"They will get over it." I said between gritted teeth.
"Get yourself together young lady, now." She turned to leave.
"Or what?" I taunted her.
Her head whipped around, "Or you'll will lose everything. I will ship you so far away from this place, the CIA wouldn't be able to find you."
I blacked out. The next thing I knew my hands were wrapped around her neck pinning her to the wall. She was screaming and crying.
"Mom..." I let go of her. "Mom I'm sorry...I don't know what happened!" I cried.
"Get dressed and be at the school before eight." She said solemnly.
"Mom, please."
"Don't." She slammed my door closed. I heard her faint sobbing as she descended down the stairs.
If this is really happening, and if I have any chance at controlling it, there's only two people in this town that can help me. They both did this to me. Should I even really be grateful for Stefan giving me his blood? Only not even twenty-four hours later to be killed by his brother. If he hadn't have saved me my family would be planning my funeral, not a Halloween party. My friends would be mourning over the loss of someone they loved, again.
Now, I'm mourning. I'm mourning for the loss of my life. Technically I'm still alive, but what kind of life is to be lived by taking others away. I'm not made for this. I can't kill. I won't kill.
At a more than normal speed I got dressed and made it out to my car. The sun was unbearably bright and distracting as I drove to the Salvatore estate.
Faint voices from upstairs could be heard as I got out of my Jeep. Two males, undoubtedly Stefan and Damon, and a female voice. Stefan peeked out the window. The same surprise written on his face as any of our other encounters. Just as I had seen him, he was gone.
The front door opened before I could knock.
"Avery what are you doing here?" Stefan asked.
"Something happened last night. Something bad." I said softly. I thought there would be more anger in my voice, but the look on his face had changed.
"Is Elena okay? Are you okay?" The worry in his voice made my heart jump.
"Elena is fine. Your brother-"
"I killed you. Why won't you stay dead?" Damon's agitated voice boomed.
"You did what?" Stefan asked slowly.
"I killed her, moron." Damon snapped.
"Two girls in a small town! She's the mayor's daughter! Do you ever think about consequences? I don't even know why I'm asking that." Stefan sighed and turned to me, "Avery how are you feeling?"
I thought about his question. Physically I'm hungry, thirsty, tense, fidgety, faster, stronger... The list literally goes on. Mentally I am terrified and exhausted. There is nothing in me that wants this. I've got nothing worth living for. This isn't natural. It's an abomination. I'm morally offensive. I'm a Christian walking around advertising Satan. I can't do this. This isn't my life anymore. I did die. The real Avery Lockwood doesn't exist anymore.
"Will you please kill me?" I asked softly.
"Avery I know you're not serious. Things seem to be impossibly the worst it could get right now, but it will get better after the transition." Stefan assured me. It didn't work.
"I'm a walking mosquito. I do not want this. Kill me or I'll find a way." I threatened.
"Don't drink human blood." Damon smirked.
"Damon!" Stefan yelled.
"What? She clearly isn't strong enough for this. Let her die." He shrugged.
"Don't listen to him. Avery come inside we will get you some blood and everything will be okay." Stefan started walking towards me.
I stepped back. This is my way out of this. There's one place I know that I won't drink anyone's blood. A place no one really knows about.
"Please don't make this decision." Stefan pleaded with me.
"My fate was sealed when you came back to Mystic Falls." I said.
My human life was simple growing up. Do you remember those little tricycles? I had one of those when I was little. It was my favorite toy out of the thousands my mother had bought me. I miss the simplicity of knowing I wouldn't fall off. The bike balanced itself. There was no overthinking it, only moving forward. Right now I feel like someone ripped the training wheels off too early and now I'm crashing into a black abyss.
I drove pass the school and saw the Halloween party my mother had mentioned earlier. Might as well say my good byes, even though I can feel the weakness taking over.
I parked in my parking spot for the last time. The music could be heard all the way in the parking lot. Elena and Jeremy were walking into the school. Elena was dressed was a nurse and Jeremy well was himself.
As I reached the front doors of the building my pace had slowed down tremendously, and I was beginning to get light headed. It felt like everyone was looking at me or talking about me. My heartbeat had made its way into my throat going a hundred miles per hour. Everything started shifting around and warping into each other.
Someone bumped into me. I looked up and saw the one face I wanted to see before I die, Jeremy.
"Ave are you okay? I've called you a million times!" He pulled me into his warm body and held me there.
"I'm fine. I just needed to see you." I said in a raspy voice.
"What's wrong?" He looked at me puzzled.
"There's something I have to do." I looked him in the eyes searching for permission.
"Do what you have to do." He whispered.
With everything I had left, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. That familiar spark fizzled in my stomach. This is what closer feels like. I pulled away. His face looked confused.
"Goodbye Jeremy. I'll always love you." I whispered in his ear, then a force knocked me backwards.
Vicki stood by Jeremy with a furious glint in her eyes.
"You've got everything in the world, and now you have to have my boyfriend. You Lockwood's don't know when to stop." She snarled. Then her and Jeremy disappeared.
I'm not an expert on new vampires, but I'm positive she's not stable enough to be here. Which means Jeremy is in trouble. Which means I have to stay alive to make sure he stays alive. Great. Death will have to wait.
