I know it's been like, a month since I updated this, so I'm sorry. Um... I have been doing like, nothing all summer. Ugh. All my friends are away. So...anyway...Thank you for all the reviews! :)
I don't own Big Time Rush.
"I can't believe she did this. I mean, what could have made her so upset that she would hurt herself like this?" Logan asked, looking over at James and Carlos in the waiting room. Carlos nodded in agreement, his eyes still red and puffy from crying earlier.
"I know! I thought she was always so happy," Carlos answered sadly. He turned to look at James who had barely said anything since Kendall left to be with Katie. "And I can't believe she didn't tell any of us, especially Kendall, that something was wrong!"
"Yeah..." James muttered, guilt eating away at him even faster than it was before. He took a deep breath, debating whether or not he should tell his friends that he knew. They would be so angry, but he knew he should tell them. He stared down at the ground, trying to build up enough courage to tell them, but when he opened his mouth, nothing came out.
"Maybe she'll tell Kendall why she did it," Logan suggested.
"But Kendall probably won't even talk to her! He's really mad, and you know how he gets when he's mad," Carlos said. "I just hope Mrs. Knight doesn't let him freak out at Katie..."
James nervously played with his hands, realizing Kendall would be furious if he found out he knew Katie was being bullied. He ran his hand through his hair, sighing deeply, when he suddenly heard a little buzz coming from his pocket.
"What was that?" Carlos asked, looking at James. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Katie's phone, which he was still holding after calling 911 with it earlier.
"Katie's phone," he replied softly. He read on the screen that she had a new text, and although he knew he shouldn't invade her privacy, he couldn't stop himself from opening it.
"What is it?" Logan asked. He and Carlos watched as James' eyes widened and suddenly filled with tears. He blinked them away before shaking his head sadly. "James, what's wrong?"
He passed the phone over to his friends with a shaky hand, and Carlos and Logan both read it together, shocked and upset.
Did you do it yet? Come on, Katie, we don't want to wait any longer? We want to get rid of you as fast as we can, so just go kill yourself now!
"Who sent her this?" Carlos asked in disbelief. James shrugged.
"The number was private," he answered. Logan took the phone out of Carlos' hands and went to look through her other messages.
"Guys, there's like, ten other messages here telling Katie to kill herself!" he exclaimed. "Do you think she was being bullied or something?"
"Duh!" Carlos yelled, taking the phone back. He read through the texts, shaking his head as more tears formed in his eyes. "Why didn't she tell anyone? We could have helped her!"
James squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath before speaking up. "I knew," he muttered. Carlos and Logan both turned to look at him, their eyes wide.
"You knew?" Logan asked.
James nodded, closing his eyes again. "I found her crying in her room yesterday when I was looking for my comb. And then I took a note out of her hand, and it was from the kids at school, telling her to kill herself because no one would care. I told her it wasn't true, but she obviously didn't believe me," he explained, before finally looking back up at them.
"James, why didn't you tell anyone?" Carlos questioned.
"I promised Katie I wouldn't tell anyone! But I didn't think she would actually try to kill herself! And I tried to get her to tell Kendall, but she wouldn't. I'm sorry. You guys don't even understand how guilty I feel," he mumbled. He wiped the tears out his eyes quickly, praying that they wouldn't be too mad at him.
"It's not your fault, James," Logan said softly, sighing. Carlos nodded in agreement, smiling weakly at his friend. "If it's anyone's fault, it's definitely those stupid kids at her school! I mean, how could they do that to her?" he asked. He had never felt so much anger toward anyone before in his life, and he wanted so badly to find whoever sent her those texts.
"No, it is my fault! I shouldn't have made her upset this morning, and I should have just told you guys! Kendall could have helped her a lot better than I did," James said. He put his head in his hands, sighing, before looking back up again. "And Kendall's gonna kill me now."
"No, he won't. We'll stop him," Carlos assured him. "Kendall will understand, Katie didn't want him to know, so it's fine, okay?"
James shook his head, but before he could say anything, Mrs. Knight walked over to them and sat beside James. The three boys looked at her in confusion.
"I wanted Kendall to just spend some time with Katie," she told them.
"I thought Kendall was mad at her," Logan said.
Mrs. Knight nodded, "He is, and I wanted him to talk to her and realize how stupid he was being. And I knew he would be able to figure out why she did this. I couldn't get her to tell me anything."
Carlos and Logan both looked at James, who sighed and shook his head, silently begging his friends not to tell Mrs. Knight that he knew. He knew she would probably be just as mad as Kendall was going to be, and he didn't want to see the look on her face when she found out her daughter was being toldto kill herself. However, the look on Logan's and Carlos' faces told him that if he didn't say something, they would.
He let out a deep breath and looked at the woman. "Mrs. Knight, I know why Katie did it..." he said quietly, staring down at his hands, avoiding eye contact. He felt her staring at him waiting for him to go on, but he couldn't find his voice. If he started to talk, he knew he would end up crying, and he didn't want her to baby him and be sympathetic toward him if he did that.
"You know, James?" she asked. "How?"
He took a deep breath, swallowing his tears, and spoke up. "She...told me yesterday...that some kids at school were..." he paused, sighing. "They were bullying her, and...told her...to...kill herself," he whispered. Mrs. Knight's hand flew to her mouth, and her eyes widened. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you! I promised her I wouldn't tell, but I know now that I should have, and I'm so sorry, Mrs. Knight!"
"Don't apologize, sweetie," she said softly, wrapping her arm around him. "It's okay, I understand."
"No, I should have told you or Kendall, or I should have kept an eye on her to make sure she didn't actually do it, but I didn't, and I know this is all my fault, so I understand if you're all mad at me, but-"
"We're not mad at you, and it's not your fault!" Mrs. Knight assured him. "James, don't worry about it, honey. Katie should have told us, it's not your fault."
"No, she was scared. I don't blame her for not telling anyone. I forcedher to tell me! She didn't want to, but I made her!" he exclaimed. "And I swear, I will find those kids that gave her the note and sent her the texts, and I will personally give each of them a black eye," he promised, his eyes watering. Mrs. Knight laughed a little bit, even though James was dead serious.
"You can't beat up kids, James."
I don't care, I'll do it anyway," he said softly. Mrs. Knight smiled and wrapped her arms around the teenager, pulling him into a hug.
"I love you, sweetheart," she said softly. James smiled and wrapped his arms back around her.
"Love you too, Mama Knight."
I end every single chapter with I love you's, haha. Okay, well, I hope you guys all liked this! It's gonna be longer than I thought. The next chapter will be Kendall and Katie again, and maybe everyone else too. So...yeah.
Review? :) Thank you guys!
