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Stephanie turned off the radio in her car and took a deep breath staring at the brick house in front of her. It had been a while since she had been here with everything else in her life going on. She felt bad for staying away so long but every time she was here she couldn't help but end up feeling sad either. But it wasn't right of her to avoid coming here either, she couldn't always run from the pain. One day she hoped for it to lessen more though but for now she would have to fake it until she made it.
She reached over to the passenger seat and grabbed the strap of her purse and pulled in on to her shoulder. Then she grabbed the lid covered dish that contained the peach clobber she had made. It was Brent's favorite dessert and it had only felt right to make and bring with her. Holding the dish securely as she could she turned to reach for the handle on her door but nearly jumped out of her skin at the sight of someone at her window. She put the dish down in her lap and placed her hand on her chest feeling her heart pound against it.
"Sorry" came the muffled voice at the window.
"It's fine" Stephanie replied loudly trying to calm down and grabbed the dish once more and grabbed the door handle and opened the door.
"I just noticed you've been sitting here in the driveway for the last couple of minutes. I wanted to make sure you were okay." Stephanie shut the car door behind her and turned to face her father in law.
"I'm okay I was just listening to a song on the radio" Stephanie replied giving him half of the truth. He smiled and came closer to her enveloping her in a hug which she tried to return as best as she could while holding the dish in her hand.
"Great to see you. We've missed you around here" Grant said releasing her from the hug and grabbing the dish from her hand. "I'll carry this for you."
"Thanks and I've missed you guys too" Stephanie smiled at him as they walked up to the porch. She really had missed them and she felt even worse for staying away for so long. Next time she would definitely make time to come see them more often. They had always treated her like she was their daughter and that hadn't stopped even though Brent had passed away.
"Well as you can see nothing has changed around here" Grant chuckled as she walked into the all familiar living room with a couple of pictures of her and Brent hanging up along with some pictures of Darren, Brent's brother. Also a couple of pictures of them all together, one that stood out the most for her though was a picture of her and Brent on their wedding day. "Corrine look who I found."
"Stephanie" Corrine said as Stephanie turned around and watched her blue eyes light up. Looking into her eyes was almost like looking into Brent's, he had got his mother's eyes but he looked mostly like his father. Stephanie put her arms around Corrine hugging her. "Grant did you go and bother her?"
"No."
"Wait you knew I was sitting outside in the car?"
"We watched you pull into the driveway. We just didn't want to bother you dear" Corrine replied releasing her from the hug. Stephanie felt the heat in her cheeks feeling embarrassed by just sitting in the car and probably looking like an idiot. "You showed up just in time for dinner."
"Oh that reminds me Stephanie brought this" Grant said remembering the dish he was holding and handed it off to Corrine.
"Peach Cobbler" Corrine smiled after lifting the lid "Brent's favorite."
"It definitely is- was his favorite. He could never wait until after dinner to eat it" Stephanie chuckled at the memory following Corrine into the kitchen.
"He was never very good at waiting was he?" Corrine replied with a laugh of her own as she put the dish on the kitchen counter. "So how have you been?"
"I'm getting better" Stephanie replied honestly "just taking it day by day. How have you guys been?"
"It's still hard but as you said we take it day by day" Corrine replied opening up the cabinet door in front of her and pulling out some plates.
"Do you need some help?" Stephanie asked going closer to her.
"Oh no. You sit down and make yourself comfortable" Corrine replied sitting the plates down and waved her off. So Stephanie went over to the kitchen table instead and sat down in one of the chairs just as Grant came into the kitchen with them. "What are you doing?"
"Getting some of this peach cobbler" Grant said grabbing one of the plates Corrine had put out. Stephanie watched as Corrine grabbed the plate from his hand and put it back down on the counter then swatted him away.
"No you can wait until after dinner" Corrine replied as Grant grunted but turned around and headed towards the kitchen table grumbling under his breath. Stephanie shook silently with laughter and couldn't help but think of how much Brent not only looked more like his father but he acted like him too. She had been worried about the memories of Brent overwhelming her by coming here tonight but instead she enjoyed the memories. It was comforting to be here and for the first time in a long time she felt at peace.
After dinner was over and they spent time talking and eating some of the peach cobbler Stephanie had brought she caught a glimpse of the time realizing how late it was Stephanie decided it was time to leave. It was funny that when she got here she was scared to go in but now she was dreading leaving.
"Next time don't stay gone so long. We worry about you, you know" Grant said getting some more of the peach cobbler before putting the lid back on the dish and handed it to her.
"I won't and I don't want you guys worrying about me" Stephanie replied taking the dish feeling bad that she had made them worry over her.
"Tough. You are family and always will be" Grant said pulling her into hug and squeezed her gently before releasing her. Stephanie couldn't help the tears that started to well in her eyes. God sometimes they were better than her own parents, especially her father who hadn't even realized her husband had died. It felt nice to feel cared for and to be in a normal family setting tonight. "Love you."
"Love you too" Stephanie replied wiping at her eyes before the tears could fall.
"I'll be right back I'm going to walk Stephanie out" Corrine said to Grant who nodded his head and waved a goodbye at Stephanie before taking his dish with the peach cobbler and heading back to the table.
Stephanie stepped outside on the porch feeling the cool night air blowing gently causing a small shiver. She started walking to her car with Corrine along beside of her.
"You do seem better than you were the last time you were here. I'm very glad to see that" Corrine said breaking the silence as they reached her car. "Brent would want you to be happy you know? That's all he would ever want for you."
"I know" Stephanie sniffed feeling the tears come to her eyes once again. "It's just so hard. I miss him so damn much it hurts."
"We all do" Corrine replied and gave a little sniff of her own putting her hand on Stephanie's arm giving it a gentle squeeze. Stephanie stood there silently trying to hold herself together so she didn't end up bawling here in the driveway. "I try to take comfort in knowing that he'll always be a part of us. He'll always live in on in our memories."
"That doesn't feel like enough sometimes."
"Trust me, I know. But it's all we have left" Corrine replied as Stephanie embraced her letting a couple tears slip down her face. "You continue taking care of yourself and come back to see us soon okay?"
"I will" Stephanie nodded as they let go of each other and she wiped the tears from her face.
"Love you" Corrine said as they kissed each other on the cheek.
"Love you too."
"Be careful" Corrine replied as Stephanie opened her car door and slid inside her seat putting her purse and the now empty dish in the seat beside of her.
"I will. Bye" Stephanie replied shutting her car door and after she had backed out of the driveway she gave Corrine a wave goodbye and drove off in the direction of her home.
When she made it home she pulled into the driveway and turned off the car letting out a sigh as she stared ahead at the dark empty house. Paul had gone back to his house a couple of days ago and she would be lying if she said she didn't miss him. She really had got used to someone being there and she really didn't want to go in there and be alone. She especially didn't want to go in and race to push the numbers into the pad of the security alarm that Paul had insisted she get before he left. It wasn't really a hassle but she was always nervous she wouldn't reach it in time or hit the wrong numbers and the alarm would start blaring and probably scare her neighbors shitless. So far that hadn't happened but she was nervous it would but at the same time she was glad Paul had talked her into getting it. It had made her feel a lot safer at night and she was able to sleep through the night even though Paul was gone now. Staring at her house she made her decision and started her car once again knowing exactly where she wanted to be.
Paul loaded the last of the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and closed the door then started it. He looked around the kitchen wanting to start cleaning up the mess he had made from dinner but at the same time all he really wanted to do was go to a bar. He had thought about calling Sam and going and having a couple of drinks but he was pretty sure Sam wouldn't be up to it considering he was probably with Jess. Work had been stressful and even though he had gone to the gym after to work it off it hadn't really helped much. Then being at home alone was boring and it was a Friday night and for once he felt like going out to do something. He didn't want to be stuck at home on a Friday night cleaning it just made him feel pathetic so abandoning the mess in the kitchen he headed into the living room to grab his keys. Just as he grabbed them off the table and headed towards the front door his doorbell rang.
"Where have you been?" Was the first thing he heard he heard as soon as he opened the door. He didn't even have time to say anything back or process what was happening as she pushed her way passed him into the house.
"Sure come on in" Paul replied sarcastically finally finding his voice and looking out to the driveway before turning towards her. "Is he with you?"
"No" she shook her head and ventured into his living room. He let out a frustrated sigh before closing the door and followed her into the living room. "I've been trying to call you."
"Yeah I know but there is this little nifty button on my phone that I can push to ignore it" Paul replied crossing his arms as she rolled her eyes at him.
"Stop being an ass."
"What do you want Racheal?" Paul asked watching her sit down on the couch and cross her legs.
"Have you been with that Selena or was it Serena girl from the wedding?" Racheal asked ignoring his question.
"Her name is Stephanie and it's none of your business" Paul snapped feeling tempted to just throw her over his shoulder and put her down outside and slam the door. "Why do you care anyway? Shouldn't you be at home with Mike?"
"Mike and I actually don't live together. He said he didn't want us rushing things so I have my own apartment and I went over to his place but he wasn't there. I have no idea where he is."
"Shocker" Paul snorted as she looked down at her lap. When she looked back up at him he could see her eyes starting to water.
"I miss you Paul" Racheal replied her voice shaky. Paul took a deep breath and closed his eyes not wanting to deal with this. He couldn't even bring himself to say he didn't miss her because it would be a lie because part of him did but he wasn't going to admit that he had missed her too. He was starting to wonder what the fuck was wrong with him? Why did he still miss her after what she did to him? The only answer he could come up with was because he was an idiot. "Paul?"
"What?" Paul asked opening his eyes when he felt her hand on his chest. He looked into her brown eyes that were pleading for him to say the things she wanted to hear.
"Do you miss me?" Racheal asked in almost a whisper as she ran her hand over his chest.
"Don't- "
"I made a mistake Paul. A huge mistake and I miss you so much. All I want to do is be with you, all I want is to come back home and try to put this all behind us. I'm so sorry and I'll do whatever you want me to do in order to earn back your trust" Racheal replied moving closer to him and pulling his face down to hers and kissed him. Paul reacted quickly and pulled away from her breaking the kiss.
"I can't."
"Yes you can. We can work through this we were together for three years. Don't throw all of that away."
"Me? You're the one that did that six months ago or even longer because I'm not even sure how long you were screwing around behind my back. You chose him over me, a guy who doesn't even understand the meaning of the word faithful. Maybe you two are perfect for each other" Paul spat stepping back further away from her as she looked down at the floor and wiped at her eyes.
"That's cold" Racheal sniffed looking back up at him and he shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to say to that.
"I need you to leave" Paul replied and starting walking to his front door hoping she would follow him and not give him a harder time than it needed to be. "This time when you leave don't call me and don't come back. We're over, there is nothing left here between us anymore and there never will be. There is just no way I could ever be able to trust you again."
"Because you won't try."
"I already know that I can't and honestly I don't want to be with you anymore. Every time I look at you all I can feel is the anger and hurt from when it all happened and it makes me hate you all over again. I've moved on."
"With Stephanie?" Racheal sneered "are you in love with her?"
"Just leave Racheal" Paul replied avoiding her question and motioned towards the door. He wasn't in love with Stephanie but he did have feelings for her but he didn't want to discuss Stephanie with Racheal. Maybe if Racheal believed that he was then she would stop bugging him and finally get the hint to leave him alone. He might never have a chance with Stephanie but he knew for certain he wasn't ever going to want to be with Racheal again.
"You are making a mistake and eventually one day you'll realize that but it will be too late."
"If you say so" Paul mumbled opening the door for her since she was making no movement to do so herself. Racheal let out a sigh but finally started walking to head outside but suddenly she stopped making Paul curse under his breath. Then he heard the sound of footsteps on his porch and turned to see Stephanie looking at Racheal and then to him. "Steph."
"I am interrupting something?" Stephanie asked shifting nervously around on the porch.
"No she was just leaving" Paul replied looking back at Racheal and motioned once again for her to leave. She rolled her eyes at him but complied and started walking out the door with a fake smile on her face as she looked at Stephanie.
"Have fun with him. I know I did" Racheal said as she passed by Stephanie and off of the porch. Paul gripped the doorknob tightly trying to keep himself from saying something that would cause a fight and cause her to stay longer. He just hoped that Stephanie ignored her little remark insinuating something had happened between them. Racheal was just pissed she hadn't got what she wanted and now was just trying to cause problems. It was exactly how she was and he wouldn't be surprised if the only reason she came here tonight to try and get back together was because of where she seen him with Stephanie at the wedding. She had always wanted what she couldn't have and he wasn't playing her game.
"Come on in" Paul said to Stephanie just as Racheal had started her car and began backing out of the driveway.
"I'm sorry for showing up like this I should have called before I came. I didn't know you would be busy" Stephanie replied stepping inside of his house and he shut the door behind her.
"I wasn't busy so don't worry about it" Paul replied not wanting to talk about Racheal as they walked into the living room. He had finally got rid of her and now he just wanted to forget that she had even been here tonight. "So what brings you by?"
"Well after I pulled into my driveway I thought about that stupid alarm that I would have to race in and turn off before it started going off and the cops showed up. I didn't feel like dealing with it."
"So instead you drive all the way to my house to avoid the 'stupid alarm'" Paul chuckled as she shrugged and sat down on the couch.
"I hate having to rush in to turn it off."
"But I bet you sleep a lot better now since you have it, don't you?" Paul asked sitting down beside of her and looking at her. She definitely looked well rested and just looking at her made him realize exactly how much he had missed seeing her since he had come back home.
"Yes and it's really not that bad" Stephanie admitted with a smile. "I just, I don't know I didn't feel like being alone tonight and… I kind of missed you."
"Kind of? So I didn't completely get on your nerves while I stayed at your house?" Paul teased.
"Not completely" Stephanie replied with an amused smile.
"I guess I kind of missed you too" Paul replied leaning forward on the couch and grabbing the tv remote off the coffee table. "So what would you like to do? We could watch a movie."
"A movie sounds good" Stephanie replied and Paul handed her the remote and got up from the couch.
"I'll let you pick the movie and I'll make some popcorn. Would you like something to drink?"
"A soda if you have any" Stephanie replied turning on the television as Paul left to go into the kitchen. She flipped through the channels on the television not really even paying attention. Since she had got here and seen Racheal leaving she started feeling things she hadn't liked. Especially Racheal's little remark to her as she was leaving and she hadn't been able to shake the way she was feeling. She kept wondering if something had really happened between them but she didn't want to ask. It was his business and he was allowed to see whoever and do whatever he wanted to do and if he wanted Racheal again then well, honestly she wasn't sure how to feel about it.
"What is this?" Paul asked breaking her from her thoughts and she looked at the television not realizing she had stopped flipping through the channels.
"The Notebook" Stephanie replied as Paul handed her a soda and sat back down beside of her with a bowl of popcorn. "Have you ever seen it?"
"It sounds familiar but I can't remember all the chick flicks I've had to watch."
"Oh. Well we can change it I don't want you to have to sit through a movie you'll hate."
"No it's fine we'll watch whatever you want."
"Well I'm going to warn you now. This movie makes me cry" Stephanie replied reaching into the bowl for some popcorn wondering if he had watched this movie with Racheal. That's when she was finally able to place the way she had been feeling. She was jealous. That's why she hadn't liked seeing Racheal when the door opened and the reason she hated her little remark. It made no sense though because she didn't have a reason to even be jealous because Paul wasn't her boyfriend and she had no claim on him. She was still in love with Brent and was still having a hard time adjusting to life without him so she didn't understand why she was feeling this way.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine" Stephanie replied opening her soda and taking a drink while trying to push her thoughts and emotions away. She just wasn't ready to try and process how she was feeling, not tonight at least. She put her soda down on the table and made herself more comfortable on the couch as she put her focus on the movie.
After a little while she found herself completely in to the movie with all thoughts pushed to the back of her mind when she felt Paul's fingers brush the back of her hand. Thinking it had been by mistake she brushed it off until she felt his fingers trail across her skin on the back of her hand causing her heart to beat faster. She tried to keep focusing on the television as he slipped his hand underneath of hers and their fingers intertwined. Neither one said anything or looked at each other they just kept their attention on the television. Part of her wanted to get up and get away as fast as possible and the other half was just too damn exhausted from all the emotions from tonight. So instead she sat there letting her thoughts race through her mind once again letting the movie turn into background noise.
