You trusted him.
You really did.
You fell for the charms, listened to whatever he told you and believed it. You followed him, followed his orders, never questioning. Mistaking what he showed you for who he really was.
He became a colleague, a friend, this man you were sent to kill.
Looking at the bright cadet who longed for nothing but oceans and adventures- reduced to a sobbing, broken ball- you wish you had.
A part of you doesn't want to believe it, wants to shove it down and never address it. But the evidence if right in front of you. It's all a mess, and you hate messes.
Why is the world not shattering around you? How are the walls not falling down? What do you plan to find as you stand there numbly? Sorting through every word you ever heard him speak, every moment, every motion, wondering how you missed it.
How someone who spent their life dealing with one monster after another could miss one right in front of their eyes.
What are you supposed to do now?
Burn everything he ever gave you? Forget everything you learned because of him? You can't kill him, not now, not here. But you have to do something. Fight him, hurt him, anything, anything's better than just standing there like an idiot, wondering how you got it so wrong.
What now?
Where does it stop? What can you do?
The world's a fucking mess, but you know where to start.
You start by saving the shaking boy before you, with pain and fear in his eyes.
You start by making sure it never happens again.
