Part VIII

-o-

Her hands were under his shirt the moment the door closed behind him, soft fingers attached to naked skin, clutching him closer – it seemed an almost desperate embrace as if she was trying to make an imprint of herself on his skin. Andy understood however; felt just as dazed and overwhelmed. He wanted his skin permanently against hers; still present in an invisible impression when they parted.

He dropped keys and phone somewhere on the floor, the rattling a vague sound that really was insignificant in this moment. Everything seemed trivial compared to her presence, her body so close and her lips beckoning darkly in his badly lit hallway. He briefly wondered if they had both gone insane; if it was a shared madness that was polluting their minds, infecting their bodies – a burning poison that roused them into this dark lustful incentive to devour each other.

She pushed him back against the wall, her palms against his hips as she maneuvered him back, her mouth on his – insistent in her kiss. He understood her only too well; he was just as impatient and wanted everything to happen at once. He wanted to consume her with equal passion; it was a rapid fire that needed to be doused quickly otherwise he would go crazy.

Going slow was not an option. It felt like a fire inside him; raging and bringing with it torrents of excruciating desire. It tingled and wrecked his nerve endings in a relentless stream. He had to douse the fire somehow; there was no going slow. It was a matter of quickly pouring water on it; drawing her into kissing more intensely, lips molding together in forced symbiosis.

They had been ignoring each other for almost a month now and to finally acknowledge that it was not working and that it was better to just fuck then; it was almost too much. It was settling into him in a nauseating wave; he wanted to spin her around and just do it up against the wall, no foreplay or considerations. Only he wanted her astride him with equal fervor. Or down on her knees, slipping her hands onto his jeans, unbuttoning and slipping her hands under, drawing the clothes down and wrapping her mouth around his cock – it was too much; he wanted it all at once.

He tried to breathe, tried to tell himself there was plenty of time – plenty of opportunity. Only it felt as if the world was ending in this very moment; it felt like they were running out of time. It was a rushing feeling, something tense and anxious in the depths of his mind; it felt like falling off a cliff and they had to hurry before they crashed to the ground, obliterated into small pieces of useless flesh.

Her lips latched onto his with an intense urge, unyielding in their insistence, plying his apart and inserting herself in between. He would have smiled only he was too busy inserting his own lips between hers.

He wanted her in his bed, he surmised. Most of all. Well most of all he would have liked to have had her in the restroom at the bar they had just left but that had been out of the question. It would have been too risqué – too precarious. Maybe another time, another place, his mind supplied in a tempting voice, scenarios already filling up inside his brain, unlikely ideas and strange nude images already forming in the orchestrated network of nerve excitation. It was too euphoric this feeling vesting inside him, raw and aching like a tender bruise on you shin.

He grabbed her wrists and broke apart from their kiss; he started backing her away from the hallway, into the kitchen – towards his bedroom. Her eyes were dark, fastened on him as he guided her through his place. He smiled at her; overwhelmed when she smiled back. They had never really smiled that much when this had happened before. It had been too tense to consider smiling. It had been too forbidden and new; it still was. But something was different; he could smile fully now – grin at her and she would not look the other way. He could smile at her and she would not get that strange look in the depths of her eyes that told him to back off. It felt like a reprieve; poignant and intense.

This between them was still tense, he could still feel the vulnerability of whatever existed between them. It hung like an intricate web of lines; from him to her – from her to him. Attached them together in a thousand small wires. Only the wires were fragile; they had never been forged in the correct way. They broke at the slightest distortion, frail in their framework.

But something had changed; maybe they felt slightly more anchored to each other. Maybe it just felt different because there was nothing to blame for their transgressions; no colleague in the hospital and no shitty day. It felt almost new, tantalizingly so. Before it had been powered by something else; now it was merely the need to touch, the need to elicit fire within.

He was not in doubt though; it was still merely fucking. There was nothing to misconstrue there; she might smile back but her eyes were still covered in a veil. She seemed frail to him; and he wondered if he pushed in the wrong direction would she break? Or flee? Andy still could not believe they had ended up in this situation; it seemed ludicrous.

He had always thought it would start with little meetings reminiscent of dating only they would call them coffee breaks. He had always imagined it would be a very slow progression; he would not have minded. He had thought it would be something that would simmer and simmer; until it blossomed into something sweet. Only they had gone straight to sex instead; it confused him when he thought too much about it.

He pushed his ruminations away; it would only end in a headache.

She giggled – a sound he was sure he had never heard before – when he stooped down and kissed her lips, opening the door into his bedroom. It was dark but it suited him just fine. There was light outside from the window, it gave an eerie cast to things. It bathed her in a light that made her skin ghostly white, her hair a much darker shade of red; almost unholy as she looked at him, eyes full of desire and a small little smirk at the corner of her mouth.

They were on the bed in a manner of a few steps, both entangled and still fully clothed. It did not matter though; his hands were in her hair and her lips on his. Their legs intertwined and he could feel himself twitching in anticipation, feel her hands inching down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt.

He pushed her dress up over her hips, letting go of her head and pulled the material further up her waist. He ran his hands down her sides, cupping her ass and bringing her hips further against his own. He slipped under her underwear, nudging her legs apart – her already wet outer lips moistening his fingers before he slid them inside her. Her body quivered against his, she moaned into his mouth and her hands stilted in their attempt to unbutton his shirt.

Instead they crawled further down and he lifted his hips as she pushed his jeans down first and then his boxers, a hand suddenly around his cock – tight and making him feel faint. Her underwear was making it difficult to move his hand a lot but he managed to plant his thumb on her clit, applying pressure as he plunged two fingers into her simultaneously with the rhythm of her hand around his cock.

He could barely move his legs, his jeans and boxers tightening around his thighs – this was insane. They were wearing too much clothes; but oh god her hand was sweet torture, spinning his mind around in both agony and ecstasy.

He would not mind coming like this; only he wanted so much more. He wanted to come inside her; he wanted the glide of naked skin against naked skin, glistening sweat wrapping them in heady warmth.

He stopped his ministrations, his fingers wet as they trailed down her inner thigh, let go of their kiss and growled into her ear; "Take your clothes off"

Her hand fell away from his cock and he sighed at the cold air instead. He quickly disentangled himself from her, scooted out of his jeans and boxers, flung his shirt somewhere in the dark. He watched her slip her underwear down her legs. He crawled between her legs as she started on getting rid of her dress; kissing her inner thigh, trailing wet lips upwards. He could feel the strain in her legs, muscles tensing with anticipation.

She giggled again; and he felt for just the smallest flicker of a second content.

She whimpered when he settled his mouth in-between her legs, tongue dipping out and tasting her. Her hand went straight to his hair, fingers intertwined in his short strands. He kissed her, devoured her – the small sounds escaping her mouth making him harder and harder. He tightened his lips around her small bud, sucking – her pelvic bucked up against him, his hands on her hips barely keeping her from moving too much. She whimpered when he pressed her hips down into the mattress, her hand tightening in his hair almost painfully – he kept his mouth on her, fast as he sucked and flicked his tongue – one hand leaving the curve of her waist and plunged three fingers into her.

She gasped, her legs twitching and her body shivering. He briefly thought she was going to uproot his hair from his scalp, pain almost searing but he ignored it and continued his pressure with his mouth, too encompassed by the feeling of her – too engrossed in the desire to make her come. He longed to feel her contracting around his fingers; wet and tight. It was this burning need of fire within him, overriding the need to feel her around his cock.

Her moans sounded throaty now, intertwining whimpers of ecstasy in between sighs that sounded almost painful. He was not going slowly, he knew – he was just too impatient – next time he would go slow; all he needed now was for her to come as quickly as possible. So, maybe he was a bit rough, his mouth slanted onto her clit forcefully, his fingers trusting in and out at a quick pace.

She came with a high whimper; and he quickly withdrew his fingers when he felt her inner muscles contracting. He hoisted himself up along her body, wrapped her legs around his middle as he entered her in a slow stroke.

Her eyes widened and she whimpered again; he moaned into the underside of her jaw. Shit, she felt tight; still contracting. He gripped around the back of her thighs with his hands and started a rhythm, trusting into her as he slid his lips from her neck to her lips, drowning her moans with his own. Her hands travelled up his back, trembling before they gripped his hair again.

They settled into a rhythm, warmth pulsing between them – her body felt slick under him, her legs tight around his waist. Her hands flittered between his hair and his back – trembling one moment and then rough the next. They drew each other into continuous kisses, barely leaving any air to expand their lungs with. He needed her lips attached to his; they had not really kissed that much. He wanted to amend it. He wanted to devour her lips, wanted to suck them into his soul and revel in the feel of plundering her mouth.

Ecstasy roared through him, filing his ears with a background noise of wild fire mixing with their own pants. It coiled and uncoiled through his skin, spun him into a trance that reverberated through him – he imagined it percolated into her skin as well, slipped under and lingered in her being – connected to him.

Her eyes seemed far away, hard to decipher in the dark but her gaze was on him. Her lips sought his out again; and he gripped her harder – thrust a little more forcefully before descending down and pulling them into another wet kiss.

It seemed like time stood still; the world was ending simultaneously with time stopping. He felt as if he existed outside time, existence only centered on the connection between them – revolved around the need to bring them further and further towards something sweet. There was only naked skin, sweat and bodies connected, rocking against each other and trying to somehow melt into each other. He felt less impatient, Andy mused. Consumed and compelled to linger as long as possible in her presence; intent on being embedded in her for as long as possible.

Only, time caught up eventually.

She began writhing impatiently beneath him, fidgeting, and her heels dug into his ass with a persistence that he pound harder. He obeyed, slamming into her now, his lips uneven against her. They were both panting, lips barely apart. It was a ghost of a kiss; an exchange of perturbed breath instead.

It seemed impatient once again; they needed release now.

He came a mere moment later; a growl deep from his throat into the soft skin of her cheek. She whimpered again, muscles contracting around him again – her mouth closed and her head fell to the side. He turned her head towards him, drew her mouth into a kiss. He wanted to pull her into the moment, wanted to keep her with him. She did not need to look away.

Her eyes were still closed, a small content smile playing on her mouth.

He slipped out of her and turned them around, his back hitting the mattress hard. She splayed across his chest, limbs feeling heavy but warm. She slid down, her cheek landing on his chest, her quick breaths tickling.

He buried his hand in her hair, massaging her scalp almost unconsciously. He still felt tense; but it was something else. He was not sure. But it was something small barely there to grasp. He felt mostly content; a deep bone weary feeling settling into him peacefully.

He managed to quickly get up though, sprinting to the bathroom and cleaning himself. Better to do it now than fall asleep and wake up all sticky. He took a washcloth with him; she lay in the same position he had left her; her eyes still closed.

He nudged her legs apart and cleaned her as well. She hummed but otherwise kept still. He crawled back into the bed, dragging her across him again; her body slid willingly along and up his. She was still warm; but it would quickly become cold and their sweaty bodies would quickly become cool. He pulled a bed sheet over them.

She nuzzled into his side; it made him feel even more encompassed by content.

It was still a mess, he surmised, but now they seemed to be more in control of it. It seemed less of a dark disaster.

"So," she whispered against his skin, her breath tickling and tingling.

"So?" he inquired, his voice sounded hoarse.

"Is this – you know," she paused and tried again, "Are we now…" she stopped again, she sounded slightly exasperated.

"We can keep it secret; it's not that hard," he supplied, trailing his hand down her spine, soothing. She sounded slightly panicky. He knew she was slightly panicky; probably overthinking everything now.

"Just like it was not that hard to pretend it never happened?" she sounded sarcastic now.

He grinned. She was most likely feeling unsure of everything; not something he imagined she enjoyed. He circled his hand softly up and down the bare skin of her back, calming both himself and her, enjoying being able to touch her like this.

"Denying everything obviously did not work either," he explained his voice soft. She reminded him yet again of a deer caught in the headlights of a car. He sometimes wondered what had happened in her life, what had her marriage had been like to make her so easily startled. He wondered how love had treated her; it was something that nagged in the back of his head sometimes – like a vague impression. He could never ask her though. He only knew when to tread lightly. He continued; "We will be careful; okay. Lay down some rules"

Andy heard her soft exhalation; he knew that would calm her down. She needed something to hold onto; and quantifying this into something she could understand would be necessary. He felt a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. She was adorable even when she was awkward, he surmised.

Her lips mouthed a brief kiss against his skin.

"Work is out of bounds," she said.

"Naturally," he agreed, "we need to keep work separate from this; otherwise it will become too complicated."

She giggled; the third time he had heard this little merry sound from her; it made him smile wide.

"This is already complicated, Andy," she told him as she looked up from his chest, her eyes finding his. He nodded but gave her a cheeky smile hoping it would be contagious.

She grinned back.

It was complicated. Only, what did it matter when they could lie like this. It seemed trivial. Life was complicated; this just happened to be a slight more intricate. What did it matter?

-o-

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/Iso