Major apologies for the preposterous wait between chapters and once again, I do not own HP.

Xxxxx

Chapter 8: Going too far

They had done it.

Severus Snape was rarely surprised and rarely did he question his abilities in potion making, however over the past two days these particular things had come about. Forty eight hours of constant working had taken its toll on the tall, black haired man. His hair was greasier than usual and dark circles rimmed his eyes giving him an even more alarming appearance than usual.

The potion had not been easy. The headmaster had assisted, particularly in the problem of the unicorn blood. To counter belladonna and the effects of unicorn blood at the same time was both unprecedented and almost impossible. Each ingredient which countered the belladonna reacted badly with the unicorn blood which caused the potion to congeal with each attempt at a combination. And how could you 'cure' something as pure as unicorn blood. The problem was, you simply couldn't. They considered removing the unicorn blood from the boy's bloodstream, but as the blood seemed to be slowing the belladonna down, its removal from the body in order to treat the belladonna alone could speed up the poison. Unicorn blood was so pure and potent that it never fully integrated into the body as would happen with most potions ingredients, so it could be removed as a separate substance with the use of magic, but the speed of the poison problem had remained. Until now that is.

The potions master clenched a tiny bottle filled with a pure black liquid. The colour brought a smirk of irony to Snape's face. Once the poison was neutralised, the effects should wear off Harry, pushing away the hallucinations and fits that were brought on by the poison. Personally, Snape couldn't wait until the boy was healed. Oh don't make the mistake that he was worried, he just couldn't stand the constant responsibility that had been placed on his shoulders and the rather…unsettling behaviour of the boy. Though he would never have believed it if you had told him before these events, Snape almost wished for the arrogant Potter to reappear so he could go back to hating him and dishing out sharp comments. That was the way it should be.

Extinguishing the fire beneath the small bubbling cauldron, Snape eyed the multiple, neatly arranged glass bottles on the table, much like the one in his hand. Each were filled with the same potion and antidote, waiting to be administered. Snape wasn't sure how many doses would bring Potter back to full health so he had brewed enough to be sure. Setting aside the one in his hand and another two, he waved his wand and watched the tiny vessels glide neatly up onto his top shelf in his office.

Turning back to his working table he picked up a piece of parchment and folded it neatly, slipping it inside his robes. It contained the ingredients and instructions to the antidote. Casting an eye over the leftover ingredients, Snape's head ran through each of the contents. It had taken over fifteen ingredients to get the balance right and prevent the reaction with the unicorn blood but he finally had it. The main components of his potion were a ground up bezoar, strengthened with a stewed dock leaf and a combination of several plants such as jewelweed and a sprinkling of charcoal. Though these ingredients were used in different antidotes, the key to the potion came about after an argument with the headmaster.

x/x

Six hours earlier

"I told you Albus, it's not working! The antidote ingredients are not reacting well to the unicorn blood I've tested with. The potion will not work once it meets the unicorn blood in Potter's body."

"I know it is difficult Severus, but we-"

Snape cut him off "You mean me! I am the one doing the work around here Albus, the fact of which you are very aware."

Dumbledore sighed and sat back in his chair "I have not been of much help as of late I admit. But my concern for Harry has not lessened I assure you. But we cannot let the boy continue like this Severus. Your sleeping potion has slowed the effects and nulled the pain for him but Harry's body continues to succumb to the potion. I take it you noticed the growth of the blackened skin around the wound."

Snape shot him a look. Of course he had noticed.

"The poison is enveloping him and it is becoming more accustomed to Harry's body."

Snape didn't immediately; instead he just stared at the headmaster, his anger lessening slightly as his mind worked furiously.

"Severus?"

'…becoming more accustomed to…'

"I think I've got it" Snape murmured steadily, his mind still scribbling mental notes. Yes, if he could get the correct balance it might work. It was so simple.

Without a further word, he strode from the office, determined not to be interrupted in his breakthrough

Present x/x

Snape had spent the last few hours carefully monitoring the ingredients as he prepared them. It had come to him when the headmaster had said the poison was becoming accustomed to Potter's body. What if he could make the ingredients accustomed to the unicorn blood. And so he had spent four hours soaking each ingredient separately in a diluted solution of unicorn blood. Though it would never fully soak into the ingredients, as it was too pure, a very, very light coating of the unicorn blood gave the ingredients the power to bypass a reaction with the blood within Potter's body and so give the antidote properties a chance to work. So hopefully, success would follow. All that was left now was to administer it.

Xxxxx

After a quick discussion with a positively relieved Madame Pomphrey, Snape stepped out into the ward with the matron. He glared as the two teenagers who had been guarding Potter's bed were still in position, however they were sitting together and talking quietly. The potions master didn't miss the dark circles underneath their eyes.

He stood back as the nurse bustled over to them and explained to them the situation. Snape could hear some form of protest but it was quietened down. As he finally marched up to the bed, ready to scare the two from the room they were standing up.

"So we can come back in in about an hour Madame Pomphrey?" Hermione asked the nurse, looking reluctant to leave. At her nod the girl looked over the Ron who shrugged and the two of them exited through the double doors, the redhead looked back suspiciously at Snape's ever watchful eyes.

"Severus?" The voice drew Snape back to the task at hand and he turned to Potter's bed and the ever still body upon it.

"I think it is best to administer the first dose while Potter is still under the enchanted sleep. It should begin to take effect rather quickly. Though it won't fight the poison straight away-as it will require constant dosages- the effects such as the hallucinations should subside swiftly."

The nurse didn't reply as she pulled away some of the bandages off of Harry's chest very gently. She smiled to herself as she did until the gruesome mess of blackened skin met her eyes. It had indeed spread even further, now down to the stomach.

Snape looked at the discolouration with both distaste and unease. "The blackening effect is showing the spread of the poison" he noted out loud "so we should see some retreat of the discolouration as the potion takes effect. Potter will need to ingest the antidote and it would be wise to administer some directly to the skin, as it should speed up the recovery process. We will have to wait for Potter to awaken for him to swallow the potion, but it can go directly onto the wound now to begin the healing and to make sure he is in his right mind, when he wakes…at least more so than he has been lately."

There was no jeer or sarcasm in that statement; it was said with both a neutral expression and voice.

He passed to small black bottles to the nurse and she sat them on the bedside cabinet. Uncorking one, the nurse stood over the body before her and very carefully held the bottle about five centimetres away from the skin and tipped. Several drops fell from its contents and splashed onto the skin. Snape watched with great intensity to make sure there was no adverse reaction immediately apparent. And when there wasn't the nurse continued, pouring the entire contents over the black skin. As the slightly thick solution spread over the skin it looked quite grotesque, like tar enveloping the teen's chest, however Snape was happy with the situation. There was no sign of any negative results.

Madame Pomphrey looked up at him with a slight smile. He returned it with a stony expression, but he did nod at her, showing he was pleased.

"Well done Severus" she said, placing the empty bottle on the cabinet.

"We don't know that it works yet" he said sharply.

"It's a start" she whispered.

Xxxxx

It was dinner time before Snape and the nurse joined each other once more around Harry's bed. They made the use of the time Hermione and Ron were down having dinner with the headmaster in the great hall to check any results and consider waking the sleeping child before them. The nurse didn't want to upset them by telling them he might be waking soon, if it wasn't possible to do so yet. Snape didn't see why that mattered.

Madame Pomphrey pulled out her wand and slowly moved it over Harry. It was a minute before she said anything. Snape stood at the edge of the bed rather awkwardly, staring at nothing in particular. He would rather spend a week living in Gryffindor tower than admit he was anxious. It had been a while since he had developed a new potion and waiting to hear of its success was always irritating. Particularly if it involved a…delicate situation.

When she looked up, he raised an eyebrow in obvious question and was met with a relieved and smiling face. "The potion is fighting the poison."

He hardly dared believe her. She then waved her wand and once more undid the bandages over the boy's chest. Though it was still black there was a faint difference. Around the edges of the blackened skin, which resembles a burn, there was flesh that was fading to a pink colour. It was a success; the antidote potion was fighting back the poisoning.

Something inside Snape was released and he felt some of the pressure fall from his shoulders when he saw that tiny, positive change.

"These results are positive. If the potion is working as I intended, Potter's mental state should have improved. It may be safe to wake him."

Snape stopped for a second after he had uttered those words. Did he actually just suggest they return the bane of his existence to consciousness?

"Oh thank goodness. I hate seeing him here like this."

Snape looked at the woman carefully. The nurse never usually chose favourites but he knew that she had a soft spot for Potter.

"It will be good for him to see his friends" she finished, as she went to fetch the awakening potion Snape had supplied her with after they put Harry under.

Snape couldn't help but disagree. Though the boy hadn't told them everything, he had never mentioned his friends. That was either because they survived, so he didn't need to worry about them…or the opposite. They would find out soon enough.

"We should fetch the headmaster for Harry's awakening" Madame Pomphrey called from her office.

Severus didn't bother with a reply; he silently agreed and swept from the room down the great hall.

Xxxxx

Green eyes fluttered open. Blinking repeatedly to rid himself of the heavy feeling Harry saw the room swim into focus in a confusing blur of colour. He tried to lift a hand to rub his eyes but he found his limbs were numb. The instant panic dissolved a little as he felt something creep back into his fingers and he could move them slightly. The tingling feeling crept up his arms and down his body. It was uncomfortable but not painful. He let out a small groan at the twinging of his chest, as the feeling returned to him.

"W-where am I?" he mumbled, squinting upward.

"You are in the hospital wing Mr Potter" said a female voice from his left.

"What is the last thing you remember?" asked the same voice from before.

Harry placed the soft tones as those of Madame Pomphrey and he relaxed a little. He was safe.

Racking his tired brains he thought back.

"Porridge" he said finally, not realising that this word was met with worried looks. "I was having breakfast…great hall…"

His company relaxed slightly. That would be when Snape had found him collapsed. So the boy didn't remember his outbursts and screaming.

"I feel weird" Harry said quietly, as he flexed his hand.

"Don't worry Mr Potter, it is simply an effect of a potion you were given."

Harry frowned at this but said no more. He still felt very sleepy.

"We will give you some time to gather yourself and rest." Decided Madame Pomphrey and he nodded his thanks, not looking around to see who 'we' was. Everything felt weird, it seemed as if his head was stuffed with cotton wool, so Harry closed his eyes and lay into the pillows allowing his mind to slowly come back to any sense of normalcy.

Xxxxx

Harry had been left to rest for several hours under the watchful eye of the matron and the headmaster. Snape had disappeared in the hour when Harry was finally able to sit up and take in his surroundings properly. The last effects of the sleep potion faded from his body bringing back familiar pain. However this was aided by several pain relievers and a dose of a black potion Harry didn't recognise by sight or taste. He took them all without question. He didn't have the mental energy to take in any information of that sort anyway.

As the clock struck eleven that night, Harry found himself in bed within the lit hospital wing facing his headmaster, who despite Harry's newly gathered state, had a slightly wrinkled and worried expression on his old face. Dumbledore was sitting in a chair with his hands resting in his lap watching harry carefully. He had not informed Harry of the memories the boy had lost nor did he tell him exactly what had gone on. He would wait until tomorrow to remind him of those stressful happenings. He had simply informed the green-eyed boy that he had been given a strong sleeping potion to aid his healing. Though he knew Harry was suspicious, the teenager didn't voice these.

Due to his sensitive stomach, Harry only consumed a light broth for his supper at that late hour. His hands were still a bit clumsy so a bewitched spoon fed him his watery soup, much to Harry's embarrassment. He had refused to be spoon-fed by any of the small company which surrounded him.

Dumbledore retrieved an unusual pocket watch from within his robes and glanced at it.

"I fear you will get no sleep tonight my boy, as you seem to have done plenty of that as of late"

Harry didn't smile at the small joke but he nodded "I always seem to be in this bed sir"

"You shall be up and walking around a bit tomorrow Harry…if our strict matron allows it of course."

Despite feeling rested, something niggled uncomfortably at the back of Harry's mind do he didn't appreciate the twinkle in Dumbledore's eye as he spoke. However he didn't have to look at the damned blue eyes for long, as Dumbledore got to his feet. "I'm afraid I have some work to do tonight if I might excuse myself Harry."

"No problem sir" murmured Harry, quite happy to be left alone for a while.

Dumbledore didn't leave immediately however. He seemed to hover awkwardly, which was a sight to see in the usually relaxed and content man.

"I know you have been through a lot, but there are two people very eager to see you my boy."

Harry looked up, a frown forming on his face. "Sir?"

"I understand it may be hard but you will find strength in your friends Harry."

Harry's blood instantly ran cold and he stared at the headmaster. He couldn't mean… no, he wasn't ready to deal with all the things they would bring up!

Though deep down Harry wanted to see his friends, at the surface he was too terrified of what seeing them would actually mean for him. They could never understand…

But Harry's mouth stayed open uselessly, he could not voice his protest nor could he speak of anything else. So he watched helplessly as Dumbledore's purple robes slid on the ground, heading towards the hospital wing doors and Harry knew who and what lay beyond them… but he was frozen.

But it was too late. The doors opened slowly and before he could form a thought there they were and Dumbledore was gone.

Harry's pale face stared at them, green eyes wide. And they stared back.

Harry's eyes darted from one face to the other, hungrily taking in their faces…their very much alive faces. Hermione looked quite pretty with her hair sticking out in the way it once did, her cheeks pink and her eyes almost shocked. Ron… Ron was as freckly as Harry had always kept him in his mind. His slightly too large nose protruded from his face in a way that was wonderful to Harry. His hair was as red as any of the Weasley's and though he seemed nervous, he threw Harry a lopsided grin that was so familiar Harry almost grinned back. But he couldn't. Something was stuck inside him as he took in their appearance. As he saw each familiar feature that he had missed and grieved for so desperately, Harry was punched in the stomach with an iron fist of memories emotions and denial. Even though he could see them here in front of him… he knew they were dead also. In his heart Harry had locked away their images to keep them alive when they were killed. But these images were tarnished by the sight of their bodies which he had witnessed and this picture took over the perfect one before him.

"Harry-"began Hermione and Ron muttered a "Hello mate" straight after.

The sound of their voices rang in Harry's head like a shout. He then realised that he had forgotten what they had sounded like. The fact that he had forgotten disturbed Harry deeply and he closed his eyes desperately storing away those sounds along with his images- perhaps even forgetting that his two friends were there in front of him.

His behaviour scared the two teenagers in front of him and they glanced at each other worried.

Hermione bit her lip and took a step toward the bed. But the second her shoe landed on the floor green eyes snapped open and Harry stared at her with an almost pleading look in his eyes.

"Don't".

It was quiet but definite and Hermione instantly stopped, her eyes immediately showing hurt and confusion…and fear.

"Harry-" said Ron, more strongly than his previous words.

"Please…don't" Harry shook his head and looked away from their faces.

"I can't do this. Please I'm begging you. Leave"

The two friends stared at their lost friend and then looked to each other. Neither of them missed the tear rolling down Harry's cheek as he sat in the bed, looking at the wall. He seemed ready to break at any moment so Hermione retreated back to Ron. Though she didn't understand, she knew they were causing hurt so without a word she tugged on Ron's sleeve and pulled him out of the room, a tear falling down her cheek to match Harry's while Ron just stared back as he was led away.

xxxxx

Hopelessness and grief flooded Harry as the two disappeared but he couldn't bring himself to call them back. He just couldn't look at them. Their presence was both wonderful and devastating. Harry didn't want them to see what he had become nor did he want to remember what had happened to them… it was his fault- all his fault- and no one could convince him otherwise. He had sat in the darkness of Voldemort's captivity with the weight if their deaths and so many others for what had seemed like forever. He had failed the world and his friends had paid a part of that price. Simply being his friend had gotten them killed and the same would happen again. They were better off without him and he knew it. He couldn't let them back into his life. It would be too painful when he would eventually lose them all over again.

Harry felt as if the walls around him were closing in and he began to sweat with the battle growing within him. Gritting his teeth he peered around to make sure the ward was empty before throwing his coverings off him and sliding his legs from the bed. As he placed his sock covered feet on the floor they felt slightly numb but he pulled himself up. Standing shakily, one hand holding onto the bedpost he grabbed at the dressing gown that hung nearby and managed to pull it over himself with one arm. After a few moments he steadied himself and walked-slightly shakily- toward the doors and out into the lit corridors. The sensation in his legs returned with each stop and soon he had left the ward far behind, determined for fresh air.

Taking extra care on the staircases Harry arrived at the front doors of the castle and with some difficulty shouldered open the right one before closing it behind him, leaving it very slightly ajar in order to get back in.

It was about midnight and the cold air hit Harry's face harshly but he welcomed the gulps of damp air into his lungs. He didn't dare stray far from the doors so he moved over a few paces and sat on the top step leading to the castle doors and took in the sight before him.

The grounds were dark and shadowy but he could make them out by the luminous moon above. It was almost full, but not there quite yet. He supposed it would be fully round in a few days.

Harry ran a hand through his hair. The night helped clear his mind slightly…but he didn't dwell on the disastrous meeting with his friends. He never knew seeing them would have this effect on him. Yes he knew it would be bad but this… he couldn't even bear to think of them. One would think he would be overjoyed with a second chance with his friends but Harry only saw their motionless bodies before his eyes as if it was a premonition of what Harry's friendship would bring on the two people once more.

Choking back a sob Harry gazed at the ground. His eyes were dry now but he felt so empty. It was as if someone had scraped out his insides. He desperately wanted to talk to them but the desperation to avoid them was just as strong.

Harry suddenly cursed loudly. How he hated Voldemort for this. Look at what he had reduced Harry to… the boy was more ashamed that he had allowed it to happen, although eh supposed he didn't exactly allow Voldemort to kill his friends and torture him.

His body shook with dry sobs.

"You bastard" he choked out.

"Whomever you may be cursing Potter, I am certain you should be doing it in the hospital wing not outside the castle."

Harry jumped at the voice and the sudden intrusion on his privacy and his head flew around to find his old potions master standing by the door. His heart settled in his chest and he looked away from the man without a word.

Snape raised an eyebrow. He expected some form of insult or comment; however Harry just took to staring at the ground once more.

"Perhaps I was not clear, inside now Potter before you finish yourself off with a fever."

But he didn't move. This time Snape's eyebrows fell down into a frown and he was instantly annoyed. He opened his mouth to order the boy inside but he stopped as Harry spoke.

"How could you join him?"

The potions master was instantly taken back by the rather impertinent question and he stared down at the figure on the steps who was still looking at the ground. Though he had not specified there was no denying as to who Harry meant by 'him'.

"That is none of your business Potter. What gives you the right to ask such questions you stupid boy!"

His anger flared at the cheek of the boy before him, but his temper was only met with the same stillness.

"Have you any idea what he does to people?"

Snape said nothing. Of course he knew, he didn't like to dwell on it however and he was not about to indulge whatever game Potter was playing.

"Stop acting like the damaged hero Potter and get inside before I make you" he snapped, pointing a pale finger towards the heavy oak doors.

This time, Harry turned and looked at him. Green eyes met the dark ones for a moment before Harry looked off to the left and the potions master saw the shine on the scar down his eye in the moonlight.

Snape watched silently as the boy looked down at his hands. His palms faced upward and his fingers curled in on themselves. His full strength had not yet returned.

"You found some sort of cure didn't you sir? I feel…different."

Snape said nothing as it seemed Harry didn't require an answer and Snape had trouble admitting to the boy that he had helped him. As he looked down at the huddled figure something stirred inside. It took him a moment to realise it was pity…pity mixed with something else and coated with dislike. A highly confusing mix to have floating around inside you.

Harry couldn't look back but in the silence he knew what was going to come out of his mouth. He had to say it. The meeting with Ron and Hermione had stirred up so much old guilt and horror that he couldn't stop his thoughts from betraying him and coming out of his mouth. He felt as if there were too many to keep in.

"I have never pretended to like you sir and I'm sure the feeling is mutual but-" Harry paused for a moment, still not looking at the man "-I'm sorry" he finished quietly.

If Snape had expected anything to come out of the boy's mouth it was certainly not that

"What are you talking about Potter?" he asked sharply.

"I couldn't save you. He killed you in front of me before I-"Harry seemed unable to go on. There were no tears but his shoulders shook slightly and he placed his head in his hands.

The world instantly froze for Severus Snape as those words were said in front of him. He didn't know which shocked him more. The fact that he would die in two years' time or the fact that the boy he hated was apologising for it or even cared. The man had no words ready for such a statement so he reverted to usual aversion tactics.

"I would have thought you would be glad of my death Potter" he hissed viciously.

Harry's shoulders instantly stilled and it was his turn to freeze. How could the man be so blasé about his death or accuse Harry of being happy about it?

However if Harry had dared to turn around and look at the man, the viciousness and lack of care that was spewed in the man's words did not match the unusually wide dark eyes that betrayed his true reaction.

"How can you-"Harry started but he was quickly interrupted.

"Stop this at once!"

Snape almost shouted this. He couldn't stand the pity and sorrow that was radiating from the boy…and all over him? It was preposterous to the man and there was nothing he hated more in this world than people feeling sorry for him. It made him feel like a weak child. It was humiliating and he would always do anything to get away from it-even if it took him a step too far.

"Don't be so ridiculous as to weep over me Potter. We both know there is no reason or truth in it. If the tables were reversed do you honestly think I would weep over you?"

As soon as the sentence ended, Green eyes snapped around to stare with such intensity that Snape couldn't stand it. He didn't want to decipher what was in those eyes so he turned, his black robes sliding over the ground and opened the door.

"I suggest you get back inside" he finished coldly and he was gone.

Though he had always known of their mutual hatred, Harry was left outside feeling emptier than he had in a long time, still staring at the door.

Just inside the entrance hall, Snape stopped and put a hand on the stone wall for support. He had gone too far and he knew it.

xxxxx

The meeting with Hermione and Ron is just the beginning because I feel their relationship will have to develop over time. The same can be said for Harry and Snape. I refuse to write a story where all of a sudden Snape turns his character around. Hope you enjoyed and again, I apologise for the ridiculously long wait.