Turn Your Back, Look Away and Blink
By Lumendea
Chapter Eight: Moments in Time
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story
…..
The morning of November 5, 1913, found Martha scrubbing at the floor angrily, not even aware of Jenny looking at her with concern. She tightened her grip on the brush and kept the pressure on it as she replayed the scene in John Smith's study yesterday in her mind. If she had been a weaker woman she might have cried, but she was Martha Jones and she didn't let herself show that kind of weakness. Not now, maybe when it was over she would, but right now the Doctor had to be protected. Taking a deep breath, Martha tried to calm down and reminded herself to think this through.
Rose seemed nice enough and she was decent to her. Jenny kept talking about what a nice down to earth girl she was after taking her dinner last night. The photos in her pocket seemed to burn into her side and were constantly reminding her that she could take a chance to find out the truth. Rose's interest in John Smith seemed friendly and not violent, expect that it was also clearly romantic.
Bile rushed up into Martha's mouth at the memory of how the Doc- John Smith had looked at her. Martha almost wished once again that the woman could just be an enemy. An enemy would have been simple and easy, open the watch and let the Doctor deal with it, but the real Rose Tyler, the woman who seemed to haunt the TARDIS wasn't so easy. What would happen afterwards? Would she just leave the Doctor again, hurting him worse than before? Even her father had never done that to her mother or at least her mother had never let him try. Focusing on the floor, Martha kept her hands moving as she replayed her time with the Doctor in her mind and tried to remind herself that he was John Smith, not the Doctor.
…
In the library, Rose carefully opened the journal at her desk and tried to remain calm. Tears were stinging her eyes just at the memory of what was in the journal, but Rose was determined to read it through. She could only hope that it would provide some answers as to how and why her Doctor was suddenly human.
The wounds were rubbed raw as she turned page after page in the journal. Her past was laid out as nothing more than a story to John Smith, but it was her painful reality. Flipping the pages she found the pictures of the Doctor, she smiled slightly at his previous form. Running a finger over the fine inking she bit her lip to hold back a tear at the remorseful pain she felt shoot through her, without her Doctor here she missed that form of him. He had changed after the Game Station to save her life, but why this change into a human. Rose could see no reason for it.
Pushing away those thoughts, she looked back at the page to the other images. With a playful smile, she looked at the pictures of the men he had been, taking in every feature and every scribbled note. She held back a laugh at a few of them, but sighed at the pictures of his Fifth and Eighth selves, a silly smile crossing her lips. Staring at the page she wondered what he had been like in those forms as she knew from experience how much he could change.
The core of who he was stayed of course, but the habits, the way he dealt with things and the way he looked at life could all change. Her current Doctor, for instance, she'd say was a bit more human than her first Doctor, more aware of social convention and worrying about the feelings of others a bit more. No more 'stupid ape' remarks at least, but he was still the Doctor without a doubt.
Letting herself get lost in her thoughts she imagined him before the Time War before his people all died. He must have been different and if he ever returned to normal she'd have to ask him about it. She'd make him sit down and tell her about his other forms. Now that she had seen them, she wanted to know them and understand what had made him who he was now.
Turning the pages again she switched between good memories and bad ones with reminders of their adventures on every page. There were plenty of things she didn't recognise and hoped that one day he could tell her about them. Biting her lip, she stopped on her picture and couldn't help but smile at the realisation that she was the only girl in this journal. No Reinette, no Sarah Jane Smith, just her.
Rose was the one that had stayed in his mind even as a human. Even as a human he had known her and even as a human he remembered how their hands fit together. The thought calmed her enough to let her keep reading a little bit more but she had to close it again only a few pages later. She was finding the journal both a comfort and painful burden despite knowing that she might find an answer in it.
Sliding the journal into a drawer, she stood and picked up a few books that had been left by a student. With a sigh, Rose then turned to dreaded records and cringed as she opened the wooden drawers. Coughing, she waved away the dust and pulled out one of the drawers.
Rose dropped it onto her desk and growled, "Oh this is going to be fun." Clapping her hands to get rid of the dust, Rose sat in her chair and pulled out the first card. Seeing the horrid handwritten notes she sighed, "Really really fun."
….
Timothy stared at Professor John Smith all through class. He heard the lesson on the Battle of Hastings and his hand moved about taking notes, but his mind was on the teacher. There was something not right about him and Timothy could see it more and more with each passing moment. In the pocket, the watch seemed to grow heavier.
Timothy watched every movement, every word the man said as he listened to the faint whisper of the watch in his pocket. 'Not yet Timothy,' it whispered, 'too soon too dangerous.' Reaching into his pocket Timothy wrapped his fingers around the watch, afraid of the Doctor and yet unable to be apart from the watch. He was startled when he felt a flash of warmth. 'Rose,' it whispered making Timothy look up at the door to see the new librarian walk past the door. He frowned and bit his lip, unsure of the watch's reaction. Mister Smith made some notes on the board and the watch quieted as Rose vanished from view.
A few hours later once curiosity got the best of him Timothy retreated to the library to do his work and to see Rose again. Carefully he looked up as Rose passed him in the library, carrying two books back to the sciences section. He blinked and tried to hold onto the image of her in different clothes in his mind as it flashed through him, but it vanished too quickly. Looking back to his book he tapped the table nervously.
She was like Mister Smith: out of place in this time, she didn't fit and she was hiding something. He knew that for certain, but he wasn't sure what it all meant. The whole school knew her purported story; an educated proper girl with no memory now working at the school while the police tried to find some answers. Timothy knew they wouldn't find any, she was lost, but not in the way everyone thought.
Rose passed by him again, giving him a small and distracted smile. She was thinking of something far more important than the books. Reaching into his pocket, Timothy wrapped his hand around the watch and shivered as it began humming with energy. He listened to the whispers of the Doctor, the Time Lord trapped in the watch as his eyes slid closed. A thousand images passed through his mind, many focused around that girl and a feeling, an intense feeling that made Timothy pull his hand away from the watch. It was so familiar, but also so much sharper than anything he had felt in his short life. A hand on his shoulder drew his attention and he looked up at Miss Rose who was standing next to him.
"Are you all right Timothy?" she asked gently in concern.
Timothy nodded quickly and hurriedly answered, "Fine Miss Rose, I think I just dozed off for a bit."
Nodding, Rose stepped back from him and Timothy tightened his grip on his book as the watch practically screamed at her departure, a mix of words and feelings the boy couldn't understand. Then his mouth opened in the realization that the watch wanted to be close to Rose, this Doctor, this Time Lord wanted to be near her. He smiled slowly and relaxed, rubbing his thumb along the edge of the watch as he identified the emotion pouring from the watch. A smile took over his face as he watched Rose sigh and return to the records of checkouts; this Doctor, the mysterious powerful, ancient being loved her.
….
Rose hesitated as she read the small nameplate declaring this to be J. Smith's office. Her hands shook for a moment, but she took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She felt her stomach flutter as her eyes met the Doctor's, then she reminded herself that he was still human. A sweet human named John Smith who was currently blinking in surprise. Rose managed a wide smile for him and clutched at her dress with one hand to keep it from shaking.
"Ah yes Rose what do I owe this pleasure?" John questioned as his eyes lit up.
Holding up three cards, Rose informed him, "Seems your predecessor Professor Burns never returned some books." Rose paused, "May I take a look through your library and see if they got mixed in?" When he didn't reply right away Rose quickly added, "Or if you need me to come back or you want to do it I completely understand."
"No, no that's fine," John rushed to assure her as he opened the door wider and stepped to the side so she could enter. "You're always welcome."
Smiling, Rose stepped past him into his study. John closed the door and looked about the room for a moment before his eyes landed back on Rose who was scanning the shelves of books. Her fingers moved gently over the spines of the books and her lips moved as she read the titles to herself. Something about the sight was very familiar.
"I didn't realise how many books you had in here yesterday," Rose announced with a chuckle pulling him away from the tease of a memory.
John nodded and reached to take the cards from her hand, Rose almost jumped as his fingers brushed hers. Smiling at her John shifted as Rose let him take the cards and clearing his throat, he looked down at the cards.
"Yes I remember two of these, they were in the collection the school gave to me to teach history," John muttered before quickly walking into a small side room. Rose followed and smiled as she found him in a small closet space filled with books. John glanced at her from the corner of his eye as he searched the shelves. "I'm sorry to be giving you such a hard time Rose," he apologised. "Hopefully you'll manage to get all your books in the end."
He handed her the first book and its card before looking at the second card. Their hands brushed again and Rose couldn't help but wonder if he was doing it on purpose. Her Doctor had always been a flirt and maybe this was the 1913 way of flirting.
"I don't mind John," Rose assured him, making him turn to look at her. "And I spent an hour or so today going after Professor Bartage and Mister Potter so you're not alone."
Nodding John turned back to the shelves and swallowed nervously before saying, "Well I hope I'll still see you once you have all your books again."
Rose's smile widened at his nervous words, he was like a nervous boy trying to hint to a girl that he liked her. Maybe not such a subtle flirt then and her heart jumped a little too much. Nothing like the Doctor who had done his best to ignore the 'thing' between them until it was too late. Pushing down the depressing memory, Rose focused her attention on John.
Pushing a strand of hair back into her bun, she said, "Well I don't have any desire to live in the library and after all, if you want to see the books again you'll have to come visit me."
Rose didn't miss the smile spread over John's face right before he looked at her. Her heart jumped a little too much again. It was the same smile that the Doctor had given her when she'd agreed to keep travelling with him after his regeneration.
"I'm sure I'll visit the library for more than books," he cleared his through awkwardly seeming to realise what he said. "I'm sorry if that seemed overly forward-"
Rose put a hand on his arm and smiled up at him as she reassured him, "I don't mind John. I thought it was sweet," she paused. "I'm not exactly like other girls I suppose."
John grinned at her as he handed her the second and third books, letting his fingers brush hers again. This time they let them touch for a moment before he said softly, "No you're not." He grinned at her and added, "That's a very good thing."
John paused and opened his mouth to say something when a bell rang, leaving him fumbling for words. Rose nodded to him and took the books into her arms stepping out of the small room. She offered him a wide smile.
"I'll see you after your class John," she told him quickly. "Enjoy filling their heads with useful knowledge."
Grinning at her, he opened the main door for her and made his own farewell, "Enjoy your library, Rose." Her laugh echoed in his ears all through class.
…..
Unable to hide her smile as she walked into the library, Rose almost laughed at herself. She was acting like a crushing school girl, not a twenty-five-year-old woman from the twenty-first century who was or rather had been a high-ranking member of Torchwood. With the Doctor, she'd never been this bad, always too afraid of his leaving her behind if her feelings became too obvious for him to ignore. Still, she couldn't quite care, her Doctor was here, he wasn't completely himself but he was here in the same time and the same place as her and most importantly the same universe.
Glancing around the library, Rose noted that there were only a few students. She moved to the card catalogue and replaced the three cards she'd taken to John before taking the books to the history section. It only took her a few minutes to return all three to their proper places. As she moved back towards her desk Rose spotted an envelope sitting on top of the papers she'd been sorting earlier.
Sitting down in her chair, Rose opened the unsealed envelope and gasped as two photographs and a letter fell onto her desk. Her mouth still slack, Rose picked up a picture of her and Doctor hugging that her Mum had taken during one of their visits. They hadn't known she was taking it, but it had been a favourite of hers and a photo she hadn't seen in five years. Staring at it, she smiled before looking at the second one. This was a posed picture, also taken by her Mum, but it was still so sweet, their hands joined like normal. It had been such a natural action for them both.
Looking around again, Rose frowned as her eyes swept over everyone in the room, someone here had access to the TARDIS. She remembered the pictures being in her room in the TARDIS. Rose inwardly groaned at the absence of pockets on her dress and understood much better why Joan wore an apron all the time. With a quick look around, Rose verified that no one was acting strangely before she took out the journal and slipped the photos into it.
Opening the letter next Rose braced herself. She had no idea of what to expect. It was a neat script, but not of the time, and it reminded her more of her own natural handwriting. Her eyes quickly absorbed the message:
Rose, I know who you are. Meet me at the Bad Wolf pub tonight at seven. Come alone.
Folding the letter back up, Rose slipped it into the journal and frowned. Someone else was here in this school and they knew about the TARDIS and most certainly the Doctor. The question Rose had to ask was, were they a friend of the Doctor or were they someone he was hiding from. Rereading the letter, she slowly smiled at the Bad Wolf echo on the paper. She'd keep that meeting and find out what was going on. After all the Time Vortex was on her side.
