(Updated: 27.02.2015) - Thanks to my beta Torry-Riddle.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Veronica Roth does.


Chapter 7

"Today you will learn how to shoot a gun and win a fight." Amar says and lets his eyes travel over our faces. His voice is strong and a little cold. He picks up the guns from the table and gives everyone of us one. The gun is quite heavy. I am not sure where to put my hands the cold metal feels foreign there. A mixture of respect for the dangerous weapon I am holding and power because I will learn how to use it to defend people I care about surges through my body. The strange thing is I am not scared though maybe I should be. This weapon can end a life in just a second and this knowledge alone should evoke a feeling of nervousness within me. But I feel calm, relaxed even. I know that the gun doesn't define me or who I am or the decisions I make but I do.

A gun doesn't kill people, people kill people. When it comes down to it I know that maybe I have to kill someone with it to protect maybe myself or someone I am assigned to protect or have to protect because the loss of that someone would kill me. The thought of killing a human is surreal and I am not sure if I could do it – I guess there will always be a slight insecurity if I could do it if the situation rises. I correct myself then. Not 'if' but 'when'. I am Dauntless now, I will get through initiation and I don't live with the false hope that it won't be dangerous at times; that there is a possibility where I am confronted with making this decision. My thoughts are interrupted by the boy further back with dark eyes and black hair – Peter his name is, I think.

"What's", he yawns disrespectfully, "Got shooting a gun to do with bravery?" Before Amar can answer a gun is at Peter's head stopping him midyawn, his eyes widen in shock. I wasn't even aware anyone could move so quickly.

"Because, idiot, it will make sure that you don't soil your pants and cry for mum when the situation arises when you need to shoot." It's Eric and he doesn't look amused. He waits for a reaction, I am sure but the boy just watches with big, fearful eyes. I notice Eric's eyes are dark grey again – like the clouds before a storm.

"You have a loaded gun in your hand, use It.", Eric shouts, removing his gun and looking to Amar who nods with a smirk.

"As I said, pay attention, I will only show you once." He takes a gun himself and goes to the targets. He spreads his legs shoulder wide and closes one eye. I try to memorize everything about his stance, how he tenses his muscles in his arms and shoulders, how he concentrates on breathing. As he shoots the noise startles me a bit and I hope no one noticed it. When I look at Amar's target I see he shot the bull's eye. We watch on as he shoots two more times and every detail sticks in my head.

"Begin.", he says and we go to a target each. Christina is on my right side, Will on my left. I try to imitate Amar. Legs apart shoulder wide, tensing the muscles in my shoulder and arms, breathing regular. I feel eyes on my back but try to ignore the feeling. The trigger is harder to pull then I thought and before I shoot for the first time I memorize everything. I can start to concentrate again. When I finally shoot, I hear a 'Whoop' next to me. Christina smiles brightly at me and I notice that I shoot the second inner ring.

"Good one, Stiff." I hear a voice behind me, aware without looking who it is. My shoulders cramp up painfully. "But try to be more prepared for the rebound otherwise you will hurt yourself. And don't be so stiff, relax." He grabs my arms, his touch rough but not painful and moves them a bit, his calloused hands raw against my forearms. He lets his hand glide to my aching shoulder, touches them, his thumbs pressing into the muscles and I hiss softly hoping he hadn't heard the sound. I am too dumbfounded to react, too surprised by his actions.

"Eric?!" I hear Amar shout from the other end of the line and the presence behind me vanishes leaving my back exposed to a sudden coldness. I flush and stare at his retreating form, my teeth gritted together. Christina throws me a thoughtful glance before going back to shooting the gun.


When lunch rolls around everyone is pretty good at shooting the gun. I saw Eric help Edward – the other boy from Erudite – but he didn't invade his personal space like he did mine. Before running off Amar tells us to meet at 1 pm sharp for the next step.

As we enter the cafeteria it is pure chaos again and the life that pulses through the room makes my cheeks flush again. I am getting addicted to being alive. I look around, narrowing my eyes. Unfortunately I am too short to see enough, give up my search and follow my new friends to the food line. We pick something from everything and take a table in a corner.

"So, what do you think fighting will be like?" Will asks his Erudite curiosity showing. I just shrug and concentrate on the food in front of me.

"Hm, maybe we have to fight each other?" Christina grins and wiggles her eyebrows, seemingly looking forward to the thrill. I chuckle lightly. Al on the other hand seems to go pale.

"Oh, hopefully not. Hurting each other is so pointless." I fix my eyes on him and take him in. His big build would be his great advantage. His speed might be a problem though, as are his friendly eyes and soft features. Maybe he is too nice to fight?

"Backing down from a challenge is cowardice." I mumble and Christina nods next to me. Al wants to say something but Christina makes a point and interrupts him:

"What do you want to do after training?" she asks cheerful. I think for a moment and try to find a reason that lets me be alone for a while.

"Hm, I guess I will have to see after the fighting exercise. I am not quite sure how we will feel afterwards." I say and try to be vague. I took a quick liking to Christina and Will and Al are nice guys but I don't want to make the mistake to rely on them in any way possible. Trust is dangerous.

"I think I will go to the tattoo parlor." Christina says and takes the last gulp from her water. She looks to the boys: "You coming with me?"

"I am up to it!" Will says, cheekily smiling at Christina who blushes. I am not naive when it comes to flirtation. Though I grew up in the most conservative Faction I had enough time in school to see all the ways a boy charms a girl or a girl makes a boy look at her in that special kind of way. As Abnegation we are taught to direct our eyes to the outside, to take in everything around us to forget ourselves. So I being the good Abnegation girl just did that and observed people. The other Factions aren't very strict when it comes to interactions between males and females so I had a lot to look at, especially in the last two years when my classmates and I turned 14 and the opposite gender or even the same was so much more interesting than Faction History.


When we get back to the training room, Amar stands in another area then this morning. Next to each other are 10 orange punching bags. Behind them I see a podest with thin mats on the ground.

"Attention everyone!" Amar yells and we stop looking around and concentrate again. I feel a bit tired after the lunch, my limbs a bit heavy. I take a mental note to cut short on lunch if possible or to eat just something small and light. I don't want to throw up in the middle of training or fighting and I have to be wide awake for the things to come.

"You did well on the gun part. Now we continue to fighting. The purpose of this is to prepare you for the tasks you will have after becoming a Dauntless member. You have to be skilled in defensive and offensive tactics as it is our purpose to secure our community. To fight means to act and fighting against each other will prepare you to act when the time comes." I recognize that he said 'when' not 'if' and a mixture of an expectant eagerness and a bit of fright creeps under my skin.

Eric is watching us out of a corner of the punching bag section, his gaze calculating and when his eyes are on me I know what he is seeing. The weak stiff with arms like pencils, no muscle to see and too short to even reach his neck. I let my eyes flicker back to Amar but I feel Eric's eyes are still on me. I take a breath and challenge him with one look of my own. He counters with one of his half-smirks and I try in vain to not let it get to me. I make it a point to ignore him for the rest of training, gritting my teeth and pushing everything else out of my mind.

"I will show you a few techniques how to punch, block, kick and I will demonstrate them just once so pay attention or you will regret it tomorrow. Your body has to react to danger accordingly." Amar goes through some movements, his moves are powerful and precise even though I haven't seen any fights or techniques before to really compare it. Next he moves to the punching bag and shows us some other things we should practice. When he is finished I am filled with anticipation. Amar made it look like breathing, the movements graceful and natural.

I go up to a punching bag and try the first stance, knowing that my build isn't very practical for fighting. I am small and haven't a lot of muscles though my endurance is probably the best. I start in slow motion, trying to make sure that my stance is correct, that I inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth. I try to tense my midsection and use my elbows and knees at first slow to make them as precise as Amar's were.

"The Stiff seems a bit slow – but what do you expect from the Faction that has to forget itself." Peter says and I turn my head to him, feeling my cheeks flush. My neck is hot and my heart beats fast. I think I am not prepared for this kind of competition and that's the reason why it gets to me. I try to come up with a comeback and want to say something. Peter looks expectantly but I just huff and turn back. He isn't worth it, I tell myself and accelerate my punches and kicks. I try to find my own style while getting the ground techniques down without a fault. I know that I am not strong in the way everyone else is. But I have my small build and my speed. At least that is what I try to tell myself.


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