Realization

It was several days before the paths of Leonard McCoy and Rebecca Anders crossed again.

Rebecca arrived in medical bay accompanied by her commanding officer. Her right hand was wrapped in an elastic bandage and her skin color was pale. She did not look well. She also looked very angry. The officer looked frustrated.

Her commander left medical bay as soon as he was certain that Rebecca was settled in. From the darts she was shooting at his back with her eyes, Leonard surmised that she had been brought to his bay against strong protest.

"What happened to your wrist, Reb?" Leonard asked her gently.

"I banged it up last night while I was working out." She looked directly in his eyes, daring him to challenge her claim.

He scanned her hand, wrist and lower arm. He was quite surprised to find new fractures of both the distal humerus and ulna. Not so surprising were the signs of healed fractures in the same general location. Those had been documented in her medical chart. It still made his stomach churn unfavorably.

"What the hell were you doing? You broke two bones!"

Rebecca shrugged. "Just some hand-to-hand training with a couple other people."

"Really. Well, I haven't seen anyone else in here today because of it." Leonard didn't quite buy her story.

"It's the truth, Leo. I tried to catch myself after I was flipped. I just landed wrong." Rebecca had read the doubt in his eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes that she used to get totally lost in.

"You should have reported for medical attention last night." He admonished her.

"I didn't think it was that bad. Besides, it was late."

"I'm available at all hours……for anything." He looked at her pointedly. He searched her eyes for a response to his offer.

Rebecca looked away uncomfortably. It was obvious to her that he had read through her chart. She was embarrassed that he knew her secrets. Strangely enough, there was even a sense of relief.

"Can you just fix it so I can report back for duty?"

Leonard sighed. "I can speed the healing process, but you are not returning to duty until tomorrow. You need to rest your arm." He was hoping that she would open up a little. He was relieved that she hadn't completely slammed the door in his face so far.

Treatment included an injection of calcium directly into the fractured bones, a splint and a long acting local anesthetic for comfort. Leonard accomplished his task quickly and efficiently. Rebecca had tried to refuse the anesthetic, claiming she was not experiencing that much pain.

"Bullshit! There is no reason to have any pain. Don't torture yourself." Leonard growled harshly. She offered no further argument, but he felt her tense at his words.

Rebecca had come to except pain. She had come to rely on the sensation of pain. As long as she could feel pain she knew she was still alive. To her it was a comforting companion. She knew that wasn't something a doctor would understand.

"Reb……I didn't mean it like that." Leonard quietly added "you've had enough pain in your life." He silently begged for her respond to that comment. Perhaps it would open the door for him.

None was forthcoming. Instead, what little warmth she had been showing toward him disappeared. Replaced by the cold determination he was hoping to avoid.

He desperately wanted to confront her, make her talk. But medical bay was not the place. There were other staff in the area, plus he wanted it to be as friend, not as a doctor.

"I'll be checking up on you later. For right now, you need to take it easy. Return to your quarters and rest. That is an order from your doctor", he told her quietly. "I will inform your CO of your disposition."

Rebecca saw the genuine concern in his eyes and heard it in his voice. She was beginning to feel her self control buckle. It had been a very long time since anyone had expressed caring toward her. And she did not trust anyone to be honest about it.

But this was Leo. Maybe…..?

She was worried that her voice would betray her turmoil. "Understood, Doctor."

Leonard watched her leave the medical bay. He shook his head sadly. She was not going to make this easy. He was determined not to give up. He realized he desperately wanted the woman he once knew back in his life.