Chapter 8- Keep My Heart Beating.
Bella ate the ice cream in the living room, sitting on the sofa and watching Edward at the piano. I sat at the other end of the sofa, my eyes on both of them, mentally reviewing all my medical and obstetrical knowledge for anything that might be applicable to the situation at hand. Bella's face was peaceful as the beautiful melodies danced through the air.
Carlisle entered the room and silently handed me another page of notes and figures relating to Bella's blood tests. I frowned and shrugged as I passed it back to him. "She's taken the anti-nausea meds now and she's drinking electrolytes- that might help get some of her levels back to normal."
"I've got some injectable vitamins and supplements I'd like to give you Bella," Carlisle said.
Bella looked at him suspiciously. "That's all they are?"
Edward's hands played a jarring wrong note as his emotion got the better of him but Carlisle simply nodded at Bella calmly. "Vitamins and supplements for you, that's all. I can bring them in with the packaging unopened and you can have Rosalie check them if it would make you feel more comfortable." He flicked his eyes my way, too quickly for me to even guess what he was thinking.
"Rosalie?" Bella said tentatively.
I shrugged. "It's about time I used my medical knowledge for something useful. And anything we can do to keep you healthy is good for the baby too."
Bella consented to Carlisle giving her the shots once I'd examined the unopened packages and assured her they were safe, turning her face away from the sight of the needles entering her skin and screwing up her face briefly. "I've always hated getting shots," she murmured, looking embarrassed.
"Well, we're all done here now," Carlisle said cheerfully, and Bella laughed as he put a Sesame Street band aid over the needle marks on her arm. "I'm not implying you're a child Bella, they're the only band aids I have in my bag!"
"I like it," she said with a smile. "And it's good to know you're all ready to be a paediatrician."
Carlisle's smile faded and he made a non-committal noise before he bundled up the discarded wrappers and empty syringes and took them in to the kitchen to dispose of them.
"It would be handy having a doctor in the house," Bella commented absently. "Especially for someone as clumsy as I am…oh."
As she gagged I had the mixing bowl up under her chin to catch before she vomited again. So much for the anti-nausea meds, I thought with a flash of concern. Edward abandoned the piano and came to stand on Bella's other side, his face anguished.
"Oh, please don't watch me," Bella said to him frantically. "This is…urgh…"
"It doesn't matter," Edward murmured. "You know I love you. I just hate to see you suffering."
Bella spat into the basin. "Well, it's all part of pregnancy I guess." She didn't see the spasm of pain cross his face, and a moment later he took the bowl from my hands and disappeared into the kitchen.
He didn't return. Instead Carlisle came back in with a clean basin, a glass of iced water, some jelly beans, magazines and a jar of skin lotion, all of which he placed on the side table. "Try sipping the water or chewing on the ice," he suggested to Bella.
"I thought if she can't keep any liquids down soon we should put in an iv for rehydration," I said quietly to Carlisle, as Bella lay back against the arm of the sofa and shut her eyes. "If we do a heplock it can stay in as long as she needs it."
He nodded. "I'm having some supplies couriered over, so we'll have what we need by tonight. I want to do some research now, but I'll only be in the study if you need me."
Alone, Bella looked at me with her eyes sunken and exhausted. "Don't make me eat anything else." Her hands slid under the jumper and she scratched her stomach, screwing her face up in pain as her nails raked across the sensitive skin. "I'm so itchy, but scratching it hurts so much. I feel as though I'm peeling the skin off in layers."
"Just try some water," I said. "Ice. And if you could swallow the jellybeans the sugar might help. Do you want some cream on your belly?"
"Can you do it?" she whispered, her mouth quivering. "Your cold hands…it will feel good on all the itching."
"Sure," I said slowly, pulling off my rings and dropping them onto the side table and taking the lotion Esme had bought. I remembered what Emmett had said about falling into some kind of alternate universe…it felt like only a week ago that Bella Swan was the new girl in town and I was coolly planning how I could murder her because she'd discovered our secret. Now here I was rubbing her pregnant belly and planning just how far I'd go in order to keep her alive.
"This is nice," Bella said. I looked up and saw that she was holding my celtic knot ring, looking at it closely.
"It's my wedding ring," I told her. "One of them…from 1969."
Bella gave me a questioning look. "How many weddings have you had?"
"Five," I said, with a slight flush of self-consciousness. "The first one, of course, back in 1937 about a year after Emmett was changed. One in the 50s after Alice and Jasper came- that one was because Alice wanted to do another wedding. Then in '69, our hippie flower child wedding; one in the 80's…oh, that's the most flouncy, puffy princess meringue of a dress ever, I'll show you sometime, you'll laugh so hard…and then the last one was just before we came to Forks."
"Wow," Bella said with a giggle, "And here I fought against having ONE wedding." She looked at the other rings. "So are these all from weddings?"
I shook my head. "No. I wear that wedding ring because it's my favourite. And while it doesn't matter now of course, it doesn't just scream out 'wedding band!' which means I can wear it to school and no one will question it. That ruby and diamond one is my 'real' engagement ring though, from when Emmett proposed." Bella picked it up and looked at it, and I added slowly, "Edward bought it you know, for Emmett to give to me. I wasn't supposed to know that, Edward never does boast or demand credit for what he does, but Emmett didn't have any money so it wasn't hard to figure out. Edward helped in a lot of ways to get me and Emmett together. The two of us…well, mostly me, really…we had a lot of issues and Edward really helped us get through that. He didn't always hate me," I added, with a laugh that came out more brittle than I had intended it to.
"He doesn't hate you," Bella said in surprise. "Not at all! He's angry right now, but he admires you a lot. He loves all of you and would do anything for the family." Bella looked anxious. "I'm sorry that I've put you in the middle of this Rosalie, I really am."
"Edward and I have seventy years of conflict behind us," I said, forcing my voice to sound light. "I don't like that he can read my mind…and to be quite honest, he hates that he has to read my mind! This will just be another bump in the road and once all is said and done we'll be friends again." Remembering the fury and anguish on his face as he looked from Bella to me earlier though, I certainly wasn't as confident as I sounded. Edward and I had fought, yes- petty arguments and quarrels galore over the years, but nothing with the depth and intensity of now, as we fought battle over the lives of Bella and her baby.
Before I could say more though I felt movement under my hands as the baby moved and I looked at Bella with a genuine smile. "He's waking up in there." Bella's skin was smooth and slippery with the lotion and my hands slid easily over the water balloon of her womb. "I'm pretty sure that's got to be a foot," I said, feeling the point of pressure against my palm.
Bella's sunken eyes had an almost fervent light in them as she looked down at me and my hands on her belly. "I'm so glad you see him!" she whispered passionately. "The others don't see it yet…they're so afraid of what might happen that they just can't accept the idea that this is a wonderful thing. Edward's baby!" Her hands covered mine and she looked at me intently. "But you see it Rosalie, and I'm so glad. You'll love him, won't you? No matter what happens to me, you'll love him and make sure he's okay and taken care of, won't you?" She pressed my hands against her belly and both of us felt the answering bump from the baby kicking. "No matter what…you have to love him for me, Rosalie."
No matter what… I looked sharply at Bella, and she looked back at me with a previously unknown intensity in her usually mild brown eyes.
"I know what Edward thinks," she said, and her voice was quiet and she spoke fast. "He think I'm not strong enough to do this, not strong enough to keep my baby safe and help him grow and bring him to birth. I'm just a human, with human strength, and my baby is going to be so much more than me…but I can do it Rosalie. I know I can…all I have to do is keep my heart beating. The rest doesn't matter, does it? Just my heart beating, until the baby's born, and then Edward or Carlisle can fix me."
I understood Bella's plan then. She would endure anything, put her body through unimaginable stresses and pain if that's what the baby needed her to do. All I have to do is keep my heart beating. As long as her heart beat, the venom could save her. Or damn her…she would become one of us. As long as her heart kept beating.
"I don't care what it takes," she told me fiercely. "I'll throw up every hour and let him kick me black and blue and split my skin from the inside out; I'll do anything you tell me to medically that might keep me going. And if I can't talk for myself Rosalie, YOU have to talk for me, please do that…don't let Edward or Carlisle jump in and do something that might hurt the baby, no matter what is happening to me."
I looked at her steadily. "You've really thought about this?"
Bella nodded earnestly. "I really have. I understand the risks and I'm willing to take them no matter what the outcome. I know what I'm asking of you Rosalie, and I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that you're on my side. On my side and on the baby's side."
"Edward will never forgive himself if you die," I said quietly. I wasn't trying to change her mind, but I wanted to make sure that she really was thinking things through from every angle.
Bella's face twisted in pain. "I know. And I hate to think of him hurting…but like I said, all I really have to do is keep my hearting beating, and I'm strong enough for that. I can do that much, for him." She sighed deeply and tugged the sweater back down over her midriff, holding her hands protectively over her bump. "I know it sounds crazy," she added a few moments later. "I've never even thought about babies before, and now I'm ready to lay down my life for one…but it's different, now that he's in there. I didn't know it would feel like this. But somehow, now that I'm pregnant he's just become the most important thing in the world to me, and nothing matters more to me than him being safe."
I covered her with the same fuzzy blanket, and for a brief moment rested my hand on the bump of her growing baby, meeting her smile with one of my own. "We'll make sure he's safe," I said, and it was as though the connection between Bella and I was could be felt as something real. "I'll take care of both of you, whatever it takes."
My promise seemed to make Bella relax, and only a few moments later she drifted off into sleep. I picked up the remote to turn on the television and began flipping through the channels restlessly. I was halfway through the satellite channels when there was a sudden draft from the kitchen door and Emmett swooped in and stopped in a silent crouch in front of me, his eyes dark on mine.
"Come upstairs with me baby," he murmured, clasping my hands and laying a trail of kisses up my arm until he was nuzzling into my neck.
Oh Emmett…what you do to me! My body's reaction to his touch and scent was immediate and instinctive. I slid closer to him, dropping my head back as I felt the scrape of his teeth on my neck, and winding my hands through his hair even as I mumbled, "I can't…Bella."
"She's sleeping," Emmett breathed, kissing up my throat and catching my lips in his with possessive force. "Just a little while...come upstairs," he begged. "Or outside, or into the garage, or fuck…over on the stairs, anywhere pretty girl…" He was half lying across me by then, pressing me back into the sofa cushions, all broad hard muscle and soft lips and wandering hands.
"Mmmm," I kissed him back, and then reluctantly pushed him away, my hands on his chest. "Emmett…I can't now."
Emmett's eyes were very dark, and he looked at me like a man tormented. "Rosa…"
God, I want you Emmett. I took a steadying breath and curved my hands around his face as he pressed his forehead against mine. "I have to stay with Bella," I said quietly. "She needs me and I promised her that I'd look out for her. Edward is out of his head over what's going on, and I don't trust him an inch. I'm sorry." I took in his frustrated face and the big hands and bulge in his trousers that promised such pleasure and I bit my lip hard. Damn it.
Emmett's shoulders slumped in resignation and for a long moment he closed his eyes. "I am backing you with what you're doing here," he said at last, his voice low. "But I can see what it's doing to you…and Bella isn't the only one who matters, angel girl." He kissed me, tenderly and chastely, and then pushed me over on the sofa. "Now shove over- if all I can do is sit here and watch tv with you then that's what I'll do, but I can't sit next to Bella with my cock this hard because she might wake up and see me and she's my brother's wife and that would be wrong."
