Shelby woke up to Rachel mumbling and tossing in her sleep. Shelby opened her eyes and looked at her daughter who was squirming."No, no! Mom, come back! Please, please don't leave me!" Rachel yelled. Shelby gently shook her.
"Sweetie, wake up. Rachel, honey, wake up," she said softly. Rachel's eyes shot open with a panicked look in them. "Honey, it's ok. See, i'm right here," Shelby said gently. Rachel wrapped her arms around Shelby, tears falling from her eyes. "Sweetie, what was that nightmare about?" Shelby asked.
"You," Rachel answered.
"What about me?" Shelby asked.
"You told me that you couldn't deal with me anymore. And you left. I, I yelled after you and begged you to come back, but you wouldn't listen. You just kept walking away from me," Rachel answered, sobbing now.
Shelby sighed and rubbed Rachel's back gently," Sweetie, it's alright. I'm right here and i'm not going anywhere," she said. Rachel nodded and pulled away, wiping her eyes. "Honey, mabye, you should talk to somebody?" Shelby said.
"What do you mean? Like a psychiatrist?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, sweetie. Mabye you need to talk to someone," Shelby said. Rachel nodded.
"Yeah, I think I do," Rachel said, honestly. Shelby looked at the clock. It was 3:38 AM.
"I'll call my psychiatrist in the morning and see if he can see you soon," Shelby said.
Rachel looked confused," You have a psychiatrist?" she asked.
"Yes, honey. I do," Shelby answered her honestly.
"Why?" Rachel asked curiously.
"I have had a lot of problems ever since I gave you away," Shelby answered honestly.
"Do you regret it?" Rachel asked, avoiding eye contact.
Shelby squeezed her hand gently," Every second of every day for the past 18 years," she said. Rachel looked up at her and gave her a small smile. "Now, what would you like to eat?" Shelby asked.
Rachel shoook her head," I'm not hungry," Rachel said.
Shelby shook her head," No, you have to eat, Rachel," Shelby insisted.
Rachel shrugged," I'm really not hungry,mom," she said. Shelby stood and began to walk out of the room.
"I'll make a frozen pizza," she said as she walked out of the room. Rachel jumped out of bed and chased after her, wanting to keep her in her sight. Shelby put the pizza in the oven and turned to Rachel, who was standing right behind her. She wrapped her in a tight hug." Rachel, you trust me, right?" she asked.
Rachel nodded and pulled away," Of course mom," she said.
"Promise?" Shelby asked, smiling.
Rachel smiled back at her," Promise," she said.
"Good," Shelby said. Rachel hugged her again and looked at the timer on the oven.
"Thank you," Rachel said.
"What are you thanking me for this time?" Shelby asked.
"For taking care of me, making sure I eat, and shower, and all that stuff," Rachel said. Shelby smiled and shook her head.
"I told you not to thank me for that. I'm your mom. It's what I do. It's what I should have been doing for 18 years," Shelby said quietly.
Rachel pulled away to look into Shelby's eyes," You just did what you thought was best for me. I don't blame you for that," she said.
Shelby smiled at her as the timer went off on the oven. Shelby got the pizza out of the oven and got out two plates. She got a couple of slices of pizza for herself and Rachel. They ate at the table and when they finished Shelby cleaned up. She gently pulled Rachel up from her seat and pulled her back to her bedroom. She tucked Rachel in, kissing her forehead. Then she laid down next to her, wrapping an arm around her. She held Rachel as she cried some more. Eventually, Rachel exhausted herself into sleep. Shelby sighed and drifted off to sleep as well.
