Hey guys! So sorry for the wait! I really have no good excuse… Busy time of the year, ya know? What with graduations and whatnot. All of your reviews and alerts and favorites make me so happy and I can't tell you how grateful I am that you took the time out to read this! Hope I can continue to fulfill your expectations!
The audition that Friday went about the way Kurt expected. Both of them decided to try out with their rendition of the actual solo, rather than pick a completely different song that would portray them in their strongest suit. But easily, Don't Stop Believing was neutral ground for both of them. Mercedes performed phenomenally, but Kurt felt that he might have done just a bit better with his word phrasing.
Since he was so used to going to Glee rehearsal after school on Fridays, Kurt had almost forgotten how packed the building was right after the final bell. He made one final trip to his locker to pick up his books and sheet music for the Invitational on Tuesday before heading out the front doors.
And, of course, the first thing he saw when stepped out of the building was Dave leaning against the rail by the stair steps leading into the parking lot, talking to another random football player. Kurt glanced at the beautiful boy out of the corner of his eyes as he walked by and his heart skipped a beat when he saw that apparently David had seen him too. The junior grinned kindly at him and tossed an acknowledging head nod his way. Kurt smiled and waved back at the boy, and just like that, David went back to talking to his friend. Kurt had half a mind to actually stop and talk to his crush in that moment, but by the time he finally built up the nerve, he had already passed David and the football player by.
Just keep walking, Kurt. Don't do anything weird, he thought.
"Hey, Kurt!" he heard a voice yell from behind him. He turned and saw that Mercedes was approaching him at a speedy pace, a wide beam on her face.
"Hi, Mercedes, what's up?" he asked. The girl just beamed up at him all the more.
"What are you so happy about?"
"I have information, homeboy," she said softly.
"Oh, my god… this is about the solo, isn't it! Alright, tell me, who got it? If it's you, I mean, obviously I'll be happy for you, but please tell me that I got it!"
"Kurt… Dave's gay!" she whispered excitedly.
Wow… well, he wasn't expecting that. His eyes shot open in shock at Mercedes' declaration and he stopped moving. He looked her straight in the eyes.
"What? Where did you hear that? How do you know?"
"You'd be surprised what you could find out if you just ask around. Turns out, it's not that big a secret," she smiled. Kurt chuckled quietly.
"Well, then… good for him," Kurt whispered as he turned to walk towards his car. He was stopped when Mercedes grabbed him by the wrist.
"Wait, so are you… gonna ask him out?"
"What? I don't… I don't know…"
"Kurt, it's obvious that you really like this guy… like, a lot. And your big issue was because you didn't know if he was gay or not. Now you know! So why don't you just ask him out?"
"Mercedes, it's really not that simple…"
"Why not? You like him so what's the harm in seeing if he likes you?"
"Girl, you know I love you and I'm really not trying to sound mean or anything, but you have absolutely no idea what it is like. And I'm not saying that's your fault, but you really don't. So, David is actually gay; big whoop. He's on the varsity football team and the hockey team—"
"You're on the football team too—"
"— He is out. He is open about his sexuality and he doesn't care what people think of him. I am still in the closet, Mercedes. And I probably won't be able to come out for a very long time. Even if I were able to actually tell him how I feel… I wouldn't be able to be in a real, genuine relationship with him. He would want someone who would be able to hold his hand in public and kiss him in front of everyone. And no matter how badly I want to do those things, I just can't. And David is so amazing and sure of himself… I'm just not confident enough for him." Mercedes stared at him and took in what he said, disappointment apparent in her features.
"Alright, Kurt, if that's what you want… I still think you're selling yourself short, though. But if that's the way you feel, then…"
"Hey, you two!" called an oncoming voice before Mercedes could finish her statement. The two original Glee members turned around to see Finn Hudson walking towards them. Mercedes and Kurt turned to each other and communicated with their eyes. Kurt gave her a wide-eyed stare that said "don't-say-anything" while Mercedes looked up at him with a sympathetic "I-hope-you-know-what-you're-doing". They both then turned back to the jock.
"Hey, Finn. What's going on?" Kurt said calmly, his voice firm and steady.
"Me, Quinn, Santana, Puck, and some others are about to head out to the Lima Bean in a little bit and I was wondering if you guys wanted to come with." Kurt and Mercedes exchanged confused looks.
"Wait, you want us to come hang out with you? Why?" Mercedes questioned. Finn scratched his head.
"Well, when Kurt joined the football team that was the first step of crossover between the Glee Club and the popular kids. Now that Quinn, Puck, Santana, Brittany, Mike, and Matt have joined Glee, it won't be deemed as uncool for us to be seen together, you know? And Kurt, since you are on the football team now, that makes you one of us. Well… one of the kids with their feet in both worlds. And, Mercedes, since you're dating him, that makes you one of us by association. It makes sense if you don't think about it," he grinned dumbly.
The system wasn't perfect, but that was the way it was. Finn had a point; looking at it in that weird, high school social class perspective, he wasn't wrong. Not merely popularity, but survival at McKinley was all about the people one associated him/herself with. And as losers at the bottom of the social food chain, who were Kurt and Mercedes to deny an invitation from the popular kids?
"Yeah… alright, Finn, we'll go."
That afternoon, Kurt sat with Mercedes, Puck, Finn, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Matt, and Mike through three of Puckerman's stories about several different girls he had sex with, listening with fixed attention like everyone else and laughing when everyone else laughed. It all began to blur together and sound the same after a while, causing Kurt to lose focus, but one topic forced him from his daydream.
"That's a nice story, Puck. And it explains my point exactly! I'm telling you, if everyone just put out, stuff like that wouldn't happen," Santana said, moving in closer towards Puckerman each second as if trying to close any possible gap of space between them.
"How 'bout you, Kurt?" he asked.
"Huh?"
"Have you and Mercedes… ya know… done the deed?"
"That's none of your business, Noah," Mercedes said boldly.
"Touchy subject seems like," Santana said in a sing-song tone, tracing her fingers along Puckerman's chest, her eyes fixed on a flabbergasted Mercedes, a mischievous smirk on her face.
"Santana, be nice. Of course they've banged. It's been almost a month," he whispered into her ear, apparently not wanting anyone else to hear. Kurt, however, heard every word.
"We're waiting," stated Mercedes firmly. Santana rolled her eyes.
"How bougie…"
"C'mon, you two…"
Kurt avoided eye contact with the boy, he was absolutely certain that he was turning red. A chime at the door, however, caught his attention and his eyes shot up to the doorway.
David had walked right into the Lima Bean at the most inconvenient time. Kurt's face went from red to pale at the sight of the older boy; the boy whom he had just discovered to be gay. Kurt always got a certain feeling in his stomach when David was around. But now that he knew, the sensation was magnified tenfold. David flashed a smile at the group.
"Hey, you guys."
The group let out a simultaneous "hey", with the exception of Puckerman, who merely grunted.
"Hey, Quinn, could I talk to you for a second?" David asked. She looked around.
"Um… of course," she chuckled. Quinn proceeded to get up from her seat and walked over to the other side of the café with David.
"Geez, Kurt, come on, seriously, though. You too, Wheezy. It's not natural for two teenagers to not… you know. I mean, unless there's something you're not telling us, Kurt…"
"There's nothing," Kurt said shakily, praying that no one noticed the wavering in his voice.
"I'm just saying, you've barely kissed Mercedes since you guys started dating and I doubt she's thrilled about that. I mean, unless you caught the gay from homo over there," he said playfully.
"I'm not gay, Puck! Just drop it, alright?" Kurt said, a little louder and a little bit more forcefully than he had meant to. He looked around and no one outside their table seemed to hear him… he did, however, see a look of utter shock on Mercedes' face. Puck snickered quietly.
"Okay, dude, I'm just screwing with you… chill."
Shortly after that statement, Puck continued to recount his epic tales of sexual conquest, but Kurt no longer even attempted to look like he was paying attention.
Later that evening at the Hummel residence, Kurt and Mercedes sat alone in his room. They'd been talking about various things from Glee Club to fashion to anything else under the sun. But ultimately, it came back to this afternoon.
"Kurt… we need to talk."
"We've… been talking, Mercedes."
"I'm talking about what happened at the Lima Bean."
"What? What do you mean?"
"How you… how you told Puckerman that you weren't gay."
What? This was confusing. Why would she be upset about that? Isn't that why they were in this fake relationship anyway?
"What about it? I thought that the whole point of us doing this was so that people wouldn't know." Mercedes scoffed and turned to him, looking the soprano straight in the eyes.
"The whole reason I agreed to go along with this was because you weren't ready to come out… you weren't ready to be yourself. And I thought that by being your pretend girlfriend, I would be able to help you keep a secret that you weren't ready for people to know. I thought I was helping you.
"But, Kurt… this isn't right. You didn't see yourself today. The way you denied it… it was hard for me to watch you lie to him when I know what's going on in your head."
"Mercedes, if you knew what was going on in my head, then you would understand why I lied to him. I thought you got that," Kurt stated firmly.
"Kurt, you're my best friend… okay? And I can't watch you live this lie and completely deny who you are. I thought I would be helping you while you built up the courage to really be yourself. And then when that finally happened, everything would be alright. But me pretending to be your girlfriend isn't helping you face your fears… it's only reinforcing the standards you have set in your mind that there's something wrong with you. And it's hurting the way you see yourself. You're never going to be able to be yourself if we keep this up," Mercedes said softly. She was on the verge of tears now.
"So… what are you saying?"
"What I'm saying is… I think we should break up, Kurt…"
The two of them sat in complete silence.
Okay, I updated the story in 11 days when the max I set for myself is 12… so even though it's been a bit, I feel good about that. Hope the chapter was worth the wait! More to come! Please leave reviews and I will see you all shortly!
