Later in the week, Derek sat in his office when his phone started ringing. He raised an eyebrow and answered it.
"Derek Morgan."
"Wow, sweetheart, you sound so official."
He smirked, leaning back in his seat. "Hello to you too, Momma. How's everything back home?"
"Great! Everything's all set for this weekend."
This weekend? Shit, Derek Morgan, you did not forget about your mother's birthday. You have to fix this, you have to go – damnit, you can't leave Spencer. Not after all of the progress he's made. Who knows what would happen?
"Yeah, Momma, I can't make it this year. I'm just really swamped with work and I don't have anyone to watch Clooney. I'll come later this year, I promise."
She sighed. "Derek, it's only one weekend. Can't you find somebody to cover for a few days? I haven't seen you in a year… but I understand if you can't."
The guilt was heavy in his gut, but he wouldn't show it. "My roommate's just really going through a tough time right now, and being here just seems like a good idea."
Derek felt the phone rip out of his hands and looked up at Spencer. "What are you doing, Pretty Boy?" he asked, confused.
Spencer leaned against his desk. "Hi, Mrs. Morgan, it's Spencer, from Derek's team? Right, sorry, I'll call you Fran. You're right, Mrs. Morgan is a name for an old lady." Derek bit down on his lip to keep himself from laughing. "Sorry about that. Listen, I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I can make you a promise. I'll have all of the loose ends tied up for Derek and he'll be on his flight, you'll see him Friday night." He smiled slightly. "Yeah, Spencer his roommate. I'm fine, thanks. I'll give you back to your son." Spencer put his hand over the phone, handing it back to him. "You're welcome."
"Yeah, Mom, I guess I'll see you on Friday. Love you too." He hung up, looking at Spencer. "What was that about?"
"Every year you look forward to going home to Chicago for your mother's birthday. I'm not going to be the reason you miss it and feel guilty all weekend. I have enough emotions going through my head without adding overwhelming guilt to the list."
He tried to find a reason to stay home with Spencer, not wanting to cause him any discomfort. "What about you? Are you going to be able to spend time alone?"
He saw Spencer freeze, but immediately snap out of it. "I can learn to be. And if not, I can see if someone on the team can take me in for a few days. I know how much family matters to you, Derek. Can you please just go and enjoy yourself?"
Derek thought to himself, wondering who on the team could take him in for a few days at a time like this. He could ask Hotch, but he already struggles to spend time with Jack as it is. He could ask Rossi, but the last thing he needed was a call from Spencer in the middle of the night when he was drunk on scotch after listening to Sinatra all night. He considered Emily, but then thought that Clooney wouldn't get along well with Sergio in the apartment. He thought about JJ, but then remembered how much Will wanted to spend time with her while he could. Finally, he came to a conclusion, putting up a finger, and dialing Garcia.
"Jane Foster at your service, my wonderful delicious chocolate Thor."
He shook his head. "You're on speakerphone and I have Reid in here."
"What, Loki can join in on the fun."
Spencer blushed, sinking into the chair in front of Derek's desk.
Derek smirked. "I need a favor from you, Baby Girl."
"Sure, anything. Though I was really just kidding about the whole threesome thing. If I get you, I'm keeping you all for myself."
Derek rolled his eyes. "Are you up to anything this weekend?"
"Kevin's sick, so I'm free as a bird. What can I do for you?"
Spencer sighed and spoke up before Derek could, much to his surprise. "Can Clooney and I stay with you this weekend? Derek's flying home and I'm not quite ready to stay by myself. If you can't, I understand and I'll ask somebody else."
"Sleepover with 187? Oh hells yes! I'll bust out the Doctor Who DVDs, it'll be a grand old time."
Spencer smiled slightly. "Do you mean it?"
"I never kid about anything Whovian. Bring your bags with you on Friday and I'll drop you off at your new place on Sunday after Derek gets back."
Derek shook his head. "Nothing's going on, Baby Girl."
"Whatever you need to say to get you through. Love you both, over and out!"
She hung up the phone and Derek looked up at him. "You're sure you can handle this?"
Spencer chewed on his cheek. "There's only one way to find out."
Friday morning, they were packing their separate bags for their trips. Derek finished packing his bag and put Clooney's things into another one.
"Derek, do you have my pills?" Spencer called out, stuffing his journal into his bag as he walked out of the guest room.
"I already gave them to Garcia, I didn't think you'd mind."
He shrugged. "I don't, I guess."
"Are you still going for a run while I'm gone?" Derek asked, zipping up his bag.
Spencer nodded. "I'm not sure there are many places around Garcia's apartment for it, but it's part of my schedule. I can't just stop doing it now."
"If you need me at all this weekend, you can call me."
"I'll try not to need you. I promise. Enjoy the time with your mom. Garcia said we'll pick up Clooney on the way home from work, so I'll have him to keep me company."
Derek sighed, looking over at him. "Are you sure-"
"Derek, you need to get away from all of this. You deserve an opportunity to enjoy yourself. Please stop doubting yourself and go."
Derek sighed, grabbing his keys off the counter. "Do you need anything else?"
"I have it all."
On the drive to the garage, Derek reached over, patting Spencer's hand. "You sure you're okay?"
He nodded wordlessly.
"I know you want me to get this out of my head, but if you need me for anything, don't hesitate to call."
Spencer swallowed, nodding. "I know, thank you."
He pulled into his spot in the garage and saw Garcia waiting at her car. Derek got out, picking up Spencer's bag with his books, while Spencer grabbed his duffel bag.
"Ready for our slumber party, Boy Wonder?" Garcia asked cheerfully.
Spencer smiled slightly, walking over as she opened her trunk. "You know me. I'm a party animal." He threw his duffel bag in. "Do you want to walk in together?"
"I just need to bid farewell to my sweet prince. Meet me at the front door?"
He nodded, giving her a quick wave before walking toward the stairs.
Garcia turned to Derek. "What, no goodbye? No hugs? Nothing for your roomie?"
He shook his head. "He doesn't want to say it, and I'm not forcing it. Now, his pills?"
"One in the morning after his run, and one at night before bed."
"Knives?"
"All locked away in a cabinet, along with medications, spare keys, and kitchen utensils."
"Where's he going to sleep?"
She closed her trunk. "I have the pull-out already made up for him with extra pillows."
"And when he's in the shower?"
"Check in every ten minutes."
"Anywhere to run around your apartment?"
"Already put together his route. Now will you stop acting like a paranoid boyfriend? I'm totally going to start spreading rumors."
He smiled, kissing her forehead. "If anything happens, give me a call."
"I promise. Now go enjoy your time home. It sure as hell beats anything here."
Not exactly anything. "Just don't leave him alone too long, okay?"
"You have my word."
He nodded, walking over to his car and getting back in.
While he was on the plane, he leaned back in his seat with his headphones on. He tried to get his mind off of everything back home and get in a mindset to enjoy his time home. He'd love being around his mother, and even his pain in the ass sisters, but wasn't sure he was quite ready to leave Spencer behind on his own.
Derek, you're being ridiculous. You're roommates, nothing more than that. You need to stop thinking about him and just get it out of your head.
He sighed, turning up the music in his headphones, closing his eyes and trying to relax. With his mind nagging him, this was no easy task.
When he landed in Chicago, he took a taxi to his mother's house. Seeing her car in the driveway, he smiled to himself, shouldering his bag and walking up the front steps, walking inside. He walked up to his childhood bedroom, setting his bag down, noting that his mother hadn't changed anything.
"Derek? Is that you?"
He smirked, walking downstairs, wrapping his arms around his mother.
She hugged him, patting his back. "It's so good to see you."
He kissed the top of her head. "I missed you, Mom."
Later that afternoon, his sisters came over and after dinner, they sat down to have cake.
"So, Derek, Mom says you have yourself a male roommate," Sarah said, cutting into the cake and setting the pieces on plates.
"What's his name?" Desiree asked. "Is he cute? Can I give his number to Sarah?"
Derek rolled his eyes. "Yes, I have a roommate, and no, you can't date him."
"Mom, tell him he has to be nice and share."
Fran shook her head. "Your brother doesn't have to share anything he doesn't want to."
"Since you must know, little miss busybodies, you've met him before, and I'm pretty sure you're not his type."
Sarah went through her head. "Is it somebody on your team?"
"Mhm," he said, eating.
Desiree wrinkled her nose. "Ew, not one of the old guys."
Derek looked up at her. "One's a father and the other took off on the team, so no, not 'one of the old guys'."
"Was it that other one, the teacher's assistant?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Teacher's assistant?"
"The tall kid with the glasses who looked like he belonged in a library," Desiree explained. "You used to talk about him all the time." She snapped her fingers, looking at her sister. "What's his name? It starts with an S."
"Oh, right, Derek never shut up about him when he talked about the team. Stuart? Shawn? Sydney?"
She shook her head. "No, it was something else… Spencer! It's Spencer, right? Though you called him by his last name."
Desiree hit her hand down on the table. "It's Spencer Reid, isn't it?"
He nodded, setting his fork down. "Your point?"
"You're shacking up with the nerd?"
"Sarah!" Fran snapped.
"I'm just curious!"
Derek rolled his eyes again. "I'm not 'shacking up' with him. He was going through a tough time, he needed a place to stay, I had an empty bedroom. That's all there is to it."
"What sort of tough time?" Desiree asked.
"The tough time of mind your business."
"Does he still have that jacket? The one that makes him look like a professor, with the elbow patches?"
He rolled his eyes. "I haven't seen it, but I'll tell you what, I'll ask him."
After the cake was taken care of and his sisters had left, he enjoyed some alone time with his mother. For some reason, he always felt better after talking to her.
"So," she said, sitting beside him on the couch, "tell me about this roommate of yours."
He shrugged. "There isn't much to tell. He's a private person, likes to keep to his own unless he feels a need to talk. He went through a tough time and didn't have anybody to turn to-"
She gasped. "He doesn't have any family?"
He shook his head. "The team is his family. We're all there for him as much as we can be, but he's taken a real liking to me." He screwed his eyes shut, sighing, remembering what led up to Spencer's attachment to him.
"Derek, honey?"
He sighed. "He's going through a lot, and I'm trying to be there for him."
She reached over, rubbing his back. "Do you talk to him?"
"On the morning run, over coffee, and a few times after work."
"Does it seem to be helping?" she asked, running a hand over his head.
He nodded. "He calms down a lot after talking to me, and he feels better every time. Not to mention that writing in his journals is his own brand of therapy, and that seems to work better than anything."
She smiled. "Then you're being an amazing friend to him, Derek." She saw the look on his face. "…But you want something more than friends from him. You have for a while."
He looked up at her. "How could you possibly know that? Don't tell me you passed on profiling skills in the genetics."
She shook her head, kissing his forehead. "A mother can always tell."
He sighed. "So what do I do?"
"You take it easy. All you have to do is ease your way into it, don't rush anything, or he'll panic."
He bit down on his lip. "How long have you known, you know, about-?"
"I always knew, honey. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't love my son for his sexuality?"
He smiled slightly, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into a hug.
"And not a word to your sisters, I promise."
That night, Derek didn't fall asleep easily. He had to admit, he was far too used to the little space heater that curled up under the blankets on his bed. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling in his room, finally drifting to sleep. Not long after, he heard his phone ringing. He sighed and reached over, checking the caller ID on the phone. Seeing that it was Spencer, he didn't hesitate to answer, even in his half asleep state.
"Hey, Pretty Boy," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "You doing okay?"
He was surprised to hear not Spencer, but Garcia's nurturing voice. "He could really use your help, Derek. Sweetie, Derek's on the phone."
He heard a shuffle for the phone and then Spencer's soft voice, sobbing. "I'm sorry," he said between breaths. "I'm really sorry."
"Don't sweat it." Derek sat up in bed, putting a pillow behind his back. "What's wrong?"
"They came back, worse than they were before."
He thought to himself. "Are you having a panic attack?"
"Mhm."
"Take a deep breath for me, Pretty Boy. Can you do that?"
Spencer took a deep breath, exhaling. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be apologizing for. Did you take your medication before bed?"
"Both pills, I promise."
"Do you have Clooney with you?"
"He's right here, thinking he's a tiny lap dog."
Derek smiled slightly. "He has a habit of that, you should be used to it by now. Do you need to talk about it?"
"I did it again. I'm sorry."
"No, you didn't. You dreamed you did, and those are two completely different things. Right now, do you have a desire to do it?"
"Of course not, I wouldn't do that again."
"Then stop apologizing."
"I'm sorry… sorry, last time."
"Is Garcia there?"
"Mhm, right here."
"She's going to calm you down, okay? She's going to help and I'll be back on Sunday."
Spencer sighed."Okay. Thank you."
"Anytime. Now put Garcia on."
She took the phone. "Hey, what can I do?"
"I need you to talk to him. Let him know this isn't his fault. You just need to calm him down and get him in a mindset that everything's going to be okay. Remind him that he can go for a run in the morning, clear his head of all of this. After he gets back from his run, have him write down in his journal, get all of his feelings out. Don't interrupt him while he's doing it."
"Yeah, okay, no problem."
"After he does that, he's going to want to talk. He doesn't want you to respond, he just wants you to listen. If you see him looking at his scar, remind him of the progress he's made and that he's here for a reason. If he needs to cry, don't tell him it's okay and he'll be fine. Just let him cry it out, be there for him."
"Anything else?"
He thought for a minute. "If he doesn't go down easy, turn on some soft music. Usually humming calms him down, but it's a good alternative. Can you do all that for me, Baby Girl?"
"Of course. If you think of anything else, let me know."
"Will do. Give me an update tomorrow?"
"Long distance pinky swear."
He smirked and hung up the phone, lying back on his bed. He'd have to check on Spencer in the morning and be sure he'd calmed down.
He was glad to spend the entire weekend at home with his mother, and even took her out to dinner a few nights to thank her for all of the conversations they had. He was able to open up to her more than anybody else on the team, even Spencer. She knew him better than he knew himself, and it was extremely helpful to talk to somebody about everything he was feeling. When it was time to leave on Sunday, he zipped up his bags and walked downstairs.
"Sweetie, if you need to talk about anything-"
He smiled. "You're a phone call away, no matter what."
"And, if anything does happen between you and Spencer." He groaned and she gave him a look. "Let me finish. If anything does happen between you and Spencer, be sure to let him know he has family here. He doesn't just have his team. Anyone who matters to my son matters to me."
"He'll really appreciate that."
"Anybody's welcome into the Morgan family," she reminded him, holding out her arms. "Now come here."
He walked over, pulling her into a hug. "I'm going to miss you, Momma."
She smiled, rubbing his back. "I'll miss you too, Derek. Don't be a stranger."
After his plane landed, he didn't go home first – he drove right to Garcia's apartment building. He walked up the stairs, stopping at her door and knocking. He heard Clooney barking on the other side of the door and couldn't help but feel happy.
He heard Spencer whistling at him inside. "Clooney, come here."
He heard the dog run away and Garcia walked to the door, opening it. "Welcome back, tall, dark, and gorgeous."
He smiled, kissing her forehead. "Nice to see you too, Baby Girl." He peeked in the apartment. "Where's Spencer?"
"He ended up going for a second run today, so he's taking a quick shower."
He raised his eyebrow. "Second run? Everything okay?"
She lowered her voice, leaning against the wall. "He talked a lot this weekend. Much more than I expected. I think he just needs to relax a little bit."
"But he's okay?"
She nodded. "He was really open and seemed genuinely happy most of the time. He wrote in his journals a bit and the nightmares came back. I think having you back is just what he needs right now."
"But he hasn't gotten worse?"
"On the contrary, I think talking and running so much was a huge help. He's definitely not ready to sleep on his own, but this morning? I was able to leave him alone in the apartment for 20 minutes when I needed to take a run to the corner store, and he only called once to ask when I'd be back. I'd say that's a step in the right direction."
"Considering I couldn't even leave him alone before I left? You're a miracle worker, Baby Girl."
She smirked. "Well, I try."
When the shower stopped, Garcia turned to him. "Be careful with him, okay? He's more fragile than you think."
He raised an eyebrow. "Did he tell you something?"
"He did, but I'm sworn to secrecy. If he wants you to know, I'm sure he'll tell you. Can you just trust me on this one?"'
"Yeah, no problem. Is it something I should be worried about?"
She quickly shook her head. "Nothing that sticks up a red flag, no. Just be gentle."
"I promise."
Spencer walked out of the bathroom, running a towel through his hair. "Garcia, I used some of your shampoo, I hope you don't mind."
She smirked. "Not at all."
"Who was at the door?" he asked, brushing through his hair and wincing.
"Hey, Pretty Boy," Derek said, grabbing his pills off the counter and putting the bottles in his pocket.
Spencer tossed the hairbrush into the bag. "How was Chicago?"
"Good… my mom sends her well wishes your way, and my sisters want to know if you're still wearing that jacket with the elbow pads that makes you look like a college professor."
Spencer rolled his eyes. "Tell your sisters that jacket doesn't exist anymore, and tell your mother thank you. You didn't-"
He shook his head. "She just knows you were going through a tough time and wants the best for you."
He smiled slightly, shouldering his bags. "Like I said, thank her for me."
"So what's in the plans for you two today?" Garcia asked, turning toward Derek.
"I'm probably going home and crashing on my bed for a while, and I'll see you at work tomorrow."
Garcia walked over, wrapping her arms around Spencer, hugging him. "Enjoy having your cuddle buddy back tonight. I'm here if you need to talk."
He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Thank you for everything."
She patted his back. "Anytime."
Derek smirked, taking his keys out of his pocket and picking up Clooney, walking out.
