"That was last night. I thought I could continue without Edward. But when I went out to get the mail today, there was a bill for the mortgage in there. I can't afford the bills on just my pay. I can't move because my credit isn't good enough." I put a hand on my stomach as I looked down at it, "I won't let my children suffer."
"Your children deserve a chance at life."
"What if something happens to me? They will be alone."
"No they won't."
He started to say something else but I cut him off, "Who? I have no one. No friends. No family. I don't even have a husband any more. I can't raise these children alone."
"What about Edward's family? I'm sure they would be willing to help you out."
"I've been so bad to them. I've avoided spending time with them because I was scared of getting hurt again. It would be wrong to ask them."
"I'm sure they would understand."
"With Edward gone they probably won't want anything to do with me."
"That's not true. Based on what you said, they love you."
"Nobody could possible love me. My own parents didn't even love me."
"They did, they just didn't know how to handle the loss of their unborn child."
"They should have known better."
"Bella, the draw of drugs is strong. I battled with them for a while."
"But you were smart enough and strong enough to get clean. My parents didn't care enough about me to even try." I stared at the setting sun, "I'm just so tired of fighting. I shouldn't have to fight to be happy."
"Have you ever heard the term, regression to the mean?"
"No"
"It means that everything tries to even out. Everything tries to go back to the middle. It means things can't always be bad."
"Really, I'm 24 and I have had only six good happy years. Two I don't even remember because I was so young."
"But you will have more. Do you really want to miss out on all the joy you will experience raising your children?"
"Yeah raising my children on the streets will be loads of fun." I looked down the bridge and saw Edward's family standing there and turned to look at the young man I was talking to, "There are two notes on the seat of my car, one to Sarah and one to Edward's family. Make sure they get them."
"Bella, don't do this. You don't want them to see this."
I swung my leg back over the railing and stood up. I stared at the sunset for a second then I jumped. I jumped in a special way so my back was parallel to the water. As I went down I watched the sunset. It was so beautiful. I felt so free. The fall probably only took a couple of seconds but felt like a lifetime to me. I didn't have any regrets. I was just happy and free. The second I hit the water, everything went black.
I got another chapter done but I am not going to add it until I get another review.
