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Noodle: Sorry this one's rushed and took awhile, it's cos I got banned from the computer, (long story short I skived) and now I have a time limit ¬.¬

Chibi: tuts Oh, yeah, thanks for reviews etc, much appreciated, and people! Check out the bleach manga if you haven't already! I am obsessed!

Response to Vanillagal: High-class, (suppressed laughter) we're northern, that means we can't pronounce any words 90 of the time, at least not prop'ly. I think the royals are high-class. OOH! And some seagulls are posh. The rest of England is infested with chavs.

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, even though he seems to be many people's bitch in various shudder pairings

Orochimaru's Answerphone

This is the pretty princess Orochi! This is my answer machine. I'm not here because, my mummy, Kabuto is either giving me a bath or reading me a bedtime story! Or we're out together looking for my husband, what was his name again Sauce...Saucy...Sausy

"Sasuke." YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSASSSSSSSSSSSSUKE! Kabuto I want chicken shapes for din-dins!

"Which ones Orochimaru-sama? The dinosaurs, spaceships or pirates"

DON'T CALL ME OROCHI-MARU, Maru is for boys, and I'M A GIRL! call me Orochi-hime! Now why did we set up this again THAT'S RIGHT!

"Why did you set it up Orochi...-hime?"

So that I can get messages off all my friends.

"What friends" There's a big list! Jiraiya, Tsunade, Itachi-kun, Kisame, Zetsu, Sasori, eyeball leader all the other Akatsuki members! Who else AHHH Naruto, Sasuke, that other one, Yondaime! My old sensei...

"He's dead."

WHAT! WHY IS SENSEI DEAD! HOW! (sob sob)

"You killed him."

Sensei prove silly willy, heh heh I said willy, Kabuto wrong by leaving a message about how you love me!

Message#1: Stop ringing me you freak, I don't like you! When you trained me you made me wear a dress! And it wasn't even pretty-ful...What would my brother say...Don't even think of the barney song. If you don't stop ringing me I'll tell Itachi all those stories you told me when you were on Ribena. The one and only Uchiha. Sasuke

Message#2: Sorry I...I think you have the wrong number...T...T...T...THIS Isn't Neji, it's his c...c...c...cousin. Although I'll a...a...a.ask him if he want to join the pretty b...b...b...b..boy club.

Message#3: We the Akatsuki are not your friends,yeah! You are ugly and are not part of our orginisation for a reason yeah!

Message#4: Why aren't we your friends You want to take Itachi's body, you eat like a snake, you look like a snake, you wear too much make-up and you have this thing for little kids! "Zetsu stop talking to him you might catch ugly and gay." Ok Itachi, "Zestu don't go near Itachi you might catch gay." Ok Kisame.

Message#5: Orochi-hime this is me Kabuto ringing on my way back from the shops you haven't done anything stupid have you. Please pick up the phone!

Message#6: Hi we are delivering all the baby rattles, toy snakes and nappies you ordered, but where IS your house, Mister…..Bottom-Burp… (long pause), some whispers) …Prankster! You may have got the better of the awesome delivery company today, but mark my words, when we trace this phone number we will be on you like stink on a bum!

Message#7: Did YOU take my sleepy hat! I bet you have, I still haven't found the culprit but I bet it was you, you MEANIE SNAKEY POO BUM STINK KNICKERS (heh knickers) OROCHIMARU! I'll come to your secret lair and kill you. Then I shall snack on ramen on your dead snakey body… But first your lair… I'll find it just you wait, the hokage will get back his sleepy hat! The one, the only hokage (cough, soon to be) the super dude that you couldn't kill, only knock out in the forest of doom! Doom doom doom! Rrraaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… (cough) Uhm, yeah… Gimme my hat back!

Message#8: Orochimaru this is Tsunade. I was wondering if you want to get together for chicken shapes and mash. Don't worry I won't poison you. So how about it, Orochi-hime

Message#9: You're such a spoil sport Kabuto, killing him in his state of mind is only fair.

Message#10: This is Harry Potter and I will kill you Voldemort! No, wait sorry wrong number. You were under snake like and wierd.

Message#11: You are nasty very nasty you will only be good if you kill yourself. How much are you paying me for this again Tsunade?… Oww! You won't be pretty until you kill yourself.

Message#12: Hey Orochimaru, this is Tsunade, again. Just wanted to remind you about how I am the one with the only Uchiha in my village. Victory for ME! Not you. Haha Bitch... It's better this way anyways, I've always known you were a kiddy fiddler! You horrible nasty pedo!

Message#13: Hey, why are you Orochi-hime? That's well stupid .Even though you don't have a dick, you aren't a girl. You aren't sexy. You can't even do sexy no jutsu. You're shit.

Message#14: This is the awesome delivery company again, we didn't realise your house was invisible and that we were stood on your doorstep and that you had a big spiked pit on your doorstep and that you had a mad old grandma, who seems to be waving a bag of chicken shapes around with her skirt on her head… Do you want to put her in a home, Mister Bottom-Burp?

Message#15: Hey, this is NOT a call from someone in secret from the Akatsuki, yeah… I just want to know, what conditioner does Orochi-hime use? Her hair is totally fabulous, yeah!

Message#16: BROOMS! GIVE ME BROOMS! DON'T ASK ME HOW I GOT YOUR NUMBER! AAAARRRRRG!

Noodle: Who here's ever had ramen I have, I eat it a lot, Miso Ramen 30p from Mung Mee Foods. It's well ace.

Chibi: My dad has 3 samurai swords off Ebay now… I am nervous since he is like Ichigo's dad (bleach) only not a doctor and kind of more like a forty four year old…. But anyways, WOO! I have decided without noodle that we are doing kakashi or tsunade or the broom fight next! Damn, I'm so indecisive on my own…

CHIBI'S WAR AGAINST THE SPELLCHECKER CONTINUES!

Chavs is "chives", manga is "mango", Jiraiya is "Jamaica" Sasori is "Assort"……