Daryl felt happily drunk. The whiskey Glenn had grabbed warmed him comfortably until his limbs felt a little like liquid, he scrubbed his face as he dozed by the fire. For the first time since the Walkers hit he actually wanted to fall asleep by the fire, he wanted to be in the little makeshift camp where he felt comfortable and strangely safe, but maybe that was just the alcohol blanketing him in a false net.
Just before the group came outside they had eaten in the canteen and then half of them left to set up the camp, Daryl decided to do a few laps of the perimeter and make sure there were no Walkers roaming around, there was no way a group of drunks would be able to protect themselves from rogue and starved Walkers. He came across a few Walkers on the other side of the fence around the perimeter and tried his hand at taking a few out and realized it was a bad idea as soon as he started, his hand was trembling slightly and his fingers ached right to the bone as he gripped his hunting knife, as he shoved the blade through the fence in to the eye of a male Walker a pain shot up through his arm making him unconsciously let go. As the Walker crumpled to the ground he barely had time to shove his hand through the links in the fence to grab his knife back, he fumbled a little with the knife as he tried to pull it back. It was just as the knife came back through the fence a female Walker lunged forward intending to rip his fingers off with her teeth, the redneck stumbled backwards from the fence until he fell to the ground, leaving him just staring at the form that used to be a living woman.
He listened to the sound of her snapping her jaw and growling as she pressed against the fence to try to reach him, the cold dead eyes of the young woman no longer held an ounce of the person she used to be, just the desire to tear him to shreds. Daryl slowly pushed himself up and focused on his breathing, most of their group at some point had a close call with a Walker and he had more than most but this run-in, it wasn't because a Walker had snuck up on him it was because he'd put himself in danger. Through his stubbornness he tried to take on a Walker knowing his hands were not healed enough to keep a secure hold on his knife, he knew his hands still weren't in the best condition when he was trying to eat the eggs Carol had made him. Just holding on to a fork made his hands shake for a fair few minutes, but Daryl was a Dixon so despite knowing what was best he ignored it and did the opposite.
When he sorted himself back out he put the knife away and wiped his hands on his shirt, through anger and frustration Daryl glared at the hungry woman before pacing forward and kicking the fence full force, the dead woman flew backwards off her feet and landed on her back a few feet away. Ideally Daryl would've liked to go out there and stick his blade in to the bitch's skull to teach her a lesson for messing with him, but that would have put him in more danger.
Daryl's neck burned a little as if someone was watching him. He glanced up at the nearest guard tower and met the newest addition to their group, Michonne. There was something about the woman who didn't quite sit right with him, sure she was a proficient killer and may even be a brilliant hunter but she was mysterious and unusual, she was difficult to communicate with and had an attitude worse than any Dixon he knew.
Michonne was staring at him as if he'd done something wrong, so without a single word he stalked off to find the rest of the group. When he arrived at the edge of the circle his lips twitched upwards slightly at the sight of a blanket laid on the floor with a bottle of whiskey nestled on top, the bottle was a fair size and having not drank any alcohol in a while he knew it was going to get him quickly. Daryl wove through the group, dodging the feet that threatened to trip him in to the fire and settled himself down on to the roll mat under the blanket before wrapping himself up warm, it wasn't a particularly cold night especially with the fire going but he still wrapped up none the same. As he unscrewed the cap of the bottle he looked around at the group taking in the people around him, these were not people he would've associated himself with before the world ended, in fact they were far from his normal thuggish and brutal 'acquaintances.' He'd never go as far as to call those acquaintances friends, they never did anything for him, not like these people did.
These people cared about him, they took care of him even when he didn't want them too so he couldn't fault their dedication or relentlessness. Daryl never would've been seen with a Deputy Sheriff, there was no way T-Dog would've been around and not a chance in hell of him being in the same room as a vet. But there he was with these bunch of people trying to enjoy the starry sky, the burning fire and his whiskey.
He glanced to his right and saw Carol sat beside him staring in to the fire with her arms wrapped around her knees, she seemed to be thinking long and hard about something. She didn't look like she was or had been drinking at any point, she just looked a little sad. The look on her face pulled on his heart-strings something he'd never experienced before, he had never felt like dragging anyone close before to make their pain go away but that was what he wanted to do at that moment, he didn't even care the others would see he just wanted to see her smile again.
"Carol?" He whispered quietly placing the bottle beside him, Carol turned her head to him and gave him a weak smile, she was trying to pretend she was okay but he could see right through that mask. For a moment he hesitated not really knowing what to say or do until he reached for the end of the blanket, holding it up to allow her in, to allow her to sit flush beside him. Carol stared at him in disbelief until her body kicked in to gear, she wasn't going to refuse the chance to get close to the man she loved, especially seeing as he wanted her beside him in front of everybody. The woman shuffled from her spot and moved in close to him, letting Daryl readjust the blanket so she was covered, Carol ended up pressed right against his side their shoulders both touching so she could find comfort. Daryl held his bottle out to her, he wasn't usually one to share alcohol but she looked like she needed to drown her sorrows and escape for a while, Carol held her hand up silently refusing but when he didn't lower the bottle she sighed in defeat and took it. After just a small mouthful she began to choke and thrust it back at him as she wiped her mouth, Daryl chuckled a little and nudged her shoulder mumbling playfully that she was a pussy but she had already stopped paying attention. "What's wrong?" He whispered again trying to hide the question under everybody else's conversation and laughter.
She sighed and shook her head continuing to stare in to the fire, he noticed the fire seemed to bring her solace and peace. But he wouldn't stand for her silently dealing with her troubles, it was his job to protect her and he couldn't do that if she wouldn't talk to him. He very gently moved his knee to bump her leg making her tear herself away from the fire and meet his eyes again, where he silently repeated his question. "It's nothing, I was just thinking how Sophia would have enjoyed being here." She said bumping his knee back like it was some kind of childish game. "It's silly, I shouldn't be thinking about it really."
Daryl shook his head in disagreement continuing with their little game of using their legs to push each other slightly, a way of maintaining physical contact without it looking anything more than innocent play between friends. "She's yer daughter, think 'bout her as much as ya want." He replied in a low voice taking another heavy draft of his alcohol, Sophia was a pretty tough topic for the both of them so he wasn't surprised that despite her earlier choking Carol took the whiskey from Daryl. Neither of them said a word as she drank, he just watched her from the corner of his eye as she huddled closer, letting her head rest against his shoulder like it was meant to be there. It made him uncomfortable at first especially when he felt a few of the others looking at them, he tried to ignore the sensation but found the only way to distract himself was more alcohol.
"Daryl, slow down or you're gonna end up wasted." She said grabbing the bottle as he brought it to his lips again, he lowered it slowly feeling embarrassed he let the others freak him out, he didn't have any reason to get worked up, it was Carol who initiated the touch and he could stop it any time he wanted. Not that he would want that, sure he was a little frightened and nervous because people were looking at him as he allowed the woman to rest against him, but at the same time he wanted to be normal just like everyone else so he had to get used to this. He didn't feel too bad when one of the group touched him nowadays, they'd place their hand on his shoulder and even if he dropped his shoulder a little he rarely pulled away or freaked.
Daryl placed the bottle on the ground and met her eyes, she was staring up at him with a look in her eyes he didn't recognize and it made him uneasy, he didn't like not being able to read her. It was like throwing him head first in to deep water and just hoping he could swim, hoping he'd understand the message she was trying to convey. She was probably just as surprised as him that he allowed her to show affection in front of the others, she probably expected him to brush her off and leave but he didn't, he wanted people to know she belonged to him now. She was his. He looked around at the group again and saw the how Lori was sat with Rick and Sophia, Glenn was with Maggie, Beth was sat beside Carl, T-Dog and Andrea were catching up along with Hershel. Michonne was the only person not sat with the group because she wasn't yet part of it, she was an outsider Andrea brought in who the group didn't quite trust yet. She was on watch in one of the guard towers while the two prisoners Axel and Otis were walking around the prison fences on guard.
The redneck found himself looking at the couples more than anything. Now that Sophia was around Rick and Lori's relationship had almost healed, they seemed more in love than ever but unlike Maggie and Glenn they were much more discreet when showing their dedication to each other, there were little hand touches and twinkling eyes, once or twice a kiss on the cheek but mostly they were private. Glenn and Maggie on the other hand were all over each other when ever they had a spare moment, if they weren't making out every two minutes they were up in the guard tower having a little alone time.
He wasn't sure if he'd ever be like either of the couples. Carol was important to him and they were divulging further and further in to what was considered by a normal person, a relationship, but he was not a normal person. He was socially awkward and had very little knowledge of acceptable and unacceptable behavior so how was he ever going to know the appropriate way to behave in a relationship like the one he had with Carol? Sure, if he was doing something wrong she'd let him know, but eventually she'd get bored with telling him what not to do and decide to call it off. Then he'd have more guilt and regret to deal with. Whether he knew what to do or not he did know there was a certain way he was never going to behave, the same was Ed and his father did. He'd never lay a hand on her, he'd already hurt her once and promised himself he'd never do anything like that again, he'd never physically hurt her like that again and he would never abuse her the way they both had been abused before. Even if things between them didn't work out, he'd still try his hardest to treat her right.
Daryl let out a deep breath as Carol's hand slipped under the blanket to rest on his thigh, he knew it was the most innocent of touches and that she just wanted some comfort but it still made his mind go blank and his heart race in a way that wasn't through excitement, it was a fleeting moment of fear. He held his breath for a moment wondering if anybody else could see what was going on, even though there was a blanket covering them he felt like they were watching their every move making Daryl more nervous than before.
A moment of thought made the man push the hand away, he shifted his eyes back to the fire so he didn't see the hurt look on her face, or any anger. As soon as he moved her hand away he felt lonely and missed the contact, but Daryl couldn't handle the thought of the others knowing she was touching him in any way, he couldn't deal with the rest of the group knowing he'd let her get under his skin.
"You don't have to keep hiding away, you know." Carol said gently in his ear making him turn his head away from her to look at a particularly interesting blade of grass. Carol was right, he should not have been afraid of the contact but nonetheless he was.
He shifted uncomfortably and grit his teeth as her fingers grazed the side of his leg again, she was persistent, he could give her that. If she could persist in this then maybe he could too. Carol was careful at first pretending to take an interest in the groups conversation over the fire as she lightly ran her fingers over the side of his leg, she was careful to gauge his reaction and see how much he could take, if she pushed him too far he'd flip out and that could be dangerous especially with the amount of whiskey he'd already drank and the fire in front of them.
Her fingers ghosted from his hip up to his knee and back, each time making the touch a little heavier so he could get used to the contact and come around. Carol could see Daryl's hands twitching around the neck of the bottle he was clutching, with the fire lighting up the darkness she could see his jaw line set hard as he tried to stay in control of whatever he was feeling. Carol's fingers splayed up his leg close to his knee and just stopped there making Daryl's breath stagger as he ran his fingers through his hair, he was freaking out and she could see it. "Daryl..." She whispered. "Calm down, you're scaring yourself."
He snapped his head back in her direction with a deep-set frown on his face. "I ain't scared, maybe I don't want ya t' touch me!" He snarled angrily, he didn't like it when anybody pointed out his feelings and he certainly did not like when somebody else could accurately point out how he was afraid. Carol met his cold hard glare with just as much resilience, she knew he was throwing up his barriers to protect himself.
"Fine." Carol said bluntly taking her hand away and tucking her hands between her knees under the blanket, she turned her attention to the other man sat beside her and engaged in a conversation with Hershel completely ignoring Daryl. Or that was how it seemed to him, she was in fact taking note of every moment and every angry breath, she tried not to make it obvious she was doing this on purpose. It was all part of her plan. Daryl would let the thought fester in his mind until he was so mad he'd either storm off or do something to her that pushed his boundaries, maybe he'd grab her hand or wrap his arm around her shoulders.
Daryl sat beside Carol in complete silence holding his whiskey bottle like it was the most valuable thing he owned, he was mad. At himself for getting scared. At Carol for knowing his turmoil. At his father and his brother for making him this way.
He quickly turned around to her and saw the woman as she laughed and giggled with the others, leaving him sat practically alone and furious. He was angry she was ignoring him but even more pissed off by the way she touched Hershel's arm as they spoke. Carol was really dangling herself in his face and treading on precariously thin ice as she did.
Daryl groaned loudly catching Carol's attention, she turned to the man as he sat with his head in one hand, the other let go of the bottle and slipped under the blanket where his hand met hers. Carol didn't grab his hand or force him to move any faster than he wanted too, she just let him take control, let him either take her hand or pull away again. Their finger tips touched very lightly for a second, the ends of his fingers were rough and calloused but she didn't care, Carol liked the way it felt. She liked the way Daryl's hands had been toughened by years of taking care of himself, she liked knowing that he could take care of himself despite never being taught how to.
Their fingers carefully slipped in to each other, they only intertwined a very small amount before his knuckles began to ache, his fingers felt remarkably warm as she held them in her own. It was a big contrast to his now frosty attitude, he hadn't behaved this way towards her in a long time, she hadn't seen his colder harsh-hearted side in a while. Carol felt Daryl tense when Rick spoke to him, it took a while for Daryl to respond to the sheriff's words but when he finally did his barriers seemed to lower again and he began to become himself.
As the night moved on the atmosphere seemed to become lighter and everybody was laughing and having a great time, they hadn't felt this good since the CDC that was before they knew it was going to explode, the day they walked in and found hot water and proper food was the best day of their lives since the apocalypse. The group seemed happy and at peace for a little while like they had absolutely nothing to worry about, like there were no Walkers and no worries about food or children or people getting sick. They just had this moment and nothing to worry about.
Daryl had eased up and was much less freaked out by the time darkness really set, his hand had relaxed in Carol's and even though he was not a man for holding hands and public affection he seemed okay with it, he wasn't clinging to her hand or holding her tight he just let his hand rest in hers. It was like despite being almost terrified of commitment he had got over it, he'd dealt with the fear of her touching him, or maybe it was just the alcohol loosening him up. Daryl squeezed her hand before smiling.
She watched Daryl get to his feet and laughed when he staggered a few feet narrowly avoiding tripping over Glenn's legs, he turned back to Carol and held the empty bottle out to her. He hadn't drunk properly in a long time and was surprised by how intoxicated he was, it was probably because of how little he'd eaten today where as everyone else had eaten more than him and drank much less. The group laughed at him and Rick yelled something about him going soft, at the CDC Daryl had drunk them all under the table, but now he had become almost diluted. Daryl couldn't handle as much as he used to.
"I think it's time to call it a night." Rick said getting to his feet with his baby in his arms, they didn't know exactly what time it was but judging by the stars in the night sky it was pretty late, they were going to be busy in the morning with supply runs and making sweeps of the prison so they had to be in a relatively decent state. "I think it's time for Daryl to go to bed." Rick chuckled patting the man's shoulder as he walked past, even the gentle tap made Daryl stumble, Rick caught the man with one hand stopping him from falling over and getting hurt. Carol was the next person to stand up grabbing the blanket and taking the empty bottle out of his hands, Maggie took them both from her hands so Carol could help the slightly drunk man. She placed her hand on the small of his back and led him towards the exit of the yard, he didn't remember ever getting so drunk before, it took way more than one bottle of whiskey to ruin him usually.
They got just a few feet before Daryl slipped on the grass and grabbed her arm to hold himself up. "Come on, the quicker we get you back inside, the longer you'll have to sleep it off." Carol said pulling him up, she threw his arm around her neck and wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him steady. She giggled when he turned to her and beamed, it was not normal to see him smiling the way he was, but it was nice to see. He looked relaxed.
"You lemme get drunk, supposed t' keep me sober!" He said loudly waving his free hand wildly as they staggered towards the prison. "Why'd ya ge'mme drunk?" He slurred pointing a finger as he playfully accused her of inappropriate behaviour. "Ya tryin' t' take advantage of me?" He asked laughing at her as he clung to the fence and she pulled the door open, Carol turned back to him and giggled herself.
"Me, take advantage of the big bad Dixon?" She replied taking his arm again and pulling him up the stairs in to the prison they only got as far as just passed the door before Daryl shoved the woman against the wall, staring her straight in the eye as he held his hands either side of her head. "How would I ever take advantage of you?" She asked lifting one hand from beside her to brush her fingers against his metal cheek, she watched him close his eyes and lean in to her touch, he took a deep breath and leaned forward so their forehead's touched.
Daryl's even breath fanned her lips giving her arms goosebumps, she liked Daryl when he was this way, when he showed her affection and was not afraid of her. She liked Daryl when he was the real Daryl. Carol tipped her head slightly so their noses brushed, his eyes opened again letting her see back in to his ice blue eyes, his eyes were sparkling probably through because of the amount of whiskey in his system giving him false joy.
"What's going on here?" A voice said suddenly interrupting them, Daryl yanked himself backwards away from Carol so fast he stumbled in to the wall behind him, he glared at the person who had stepped in and found himself looking at T-Dog, Glenn and Maggie. "Are you two...?" T-Dog didn't finish his sentence as he pointed between the pair looking back at those behind him with a smile on his face, when he turned back to Daryl, the redneck looked far from impressed by their arrival.
"It's none your fuckin' business!" He snarled pushing himself off the wall to step towards T-Dog, Carol grabbed Daryl's arm to stop him from getting in to T-Dog's face, Daryl whirled around quickly when she grabbed him and met her eyes. "Le'go of ma arm." He said through grit teeth, it wasn't like the last time when Daryl bit her, this time he kept his emotions under control.
Carol was not going to back down from this confrontation, if she let go he would flip out at the others, she rather he went crazy at her and not everybody else. Carol could forgive him if he was rude, the others may not. "You need to calm down," She whispered quietly not letting go of his fiery eyes. "T, maybe you should just go." She said louder to the other man so they could avoid a fight. The last thing the group needed was the night ending on a sour note because Daryl and T-Dog had gotten in to a fight, Daryl's hands would end up much worse tan they already were and would probably be permanently damaged. Permanent damage meant absolutely no hunting and one very unstable Dixon.
Maggie seemed to get the message from Carol and ushered the men down the corridor back towards the cell block, leaving the apparently blossoming new couple alone with each other, so the male half of the budding pair could bring his emotions back to where they were supposed to be.
Daryl let out a sigh of frustration and brushed Carol's hand off his arm, it wasn't an aggressive push, it was gentle because he thought she'd be disgusted by his little outburst. "I didn't want them t' find out like that." He said staring at the floor in front of her feet, Daryl didn't really want the group to know what was going on with him and Carol much less have them wander in on them during an intimate moment, it was nobody elses business but now it was too late.
Carol stepped forward and placed her hands on the side of his face, lifting his head to see the slightly deflated look on his face. "I know you didn't. But we can't do anything about that now." She said ignoring whoever had just appeared down the end of the corridor listening to them, she saw them through the corner of her eye but focused on Daryl, she didn't like seeing him go from so care free to defeated in just a few minutes. She brushed her thumbs across his cheekbones, she felt almost drawn to his face since she learned about his metal socket, the feeling of his cheeks varied on either side. One side felt natural while the other side was harder and his skin was a little tighter.
Carol saw Daryl's eyes flick towards the person at the end of the corridor and then back to her, he smirked again but it quickly died out as realisation set in. He slowly turned his head towards the end of the corridor and took a deep breath, Carol followed the man's gaze and gasped. How the hell had it got here? Daryl's hand scrambled for his hunting knife and pulled it out just in time to take out the Walker who had shuffled towards them, he barely managed to get the knife in the Walker's skull to stop it taking one of them out, his shaky, painful hands combined with the whiskey in his body made aiming for the Walker's brain harder than usual.
The pair watched the Walker fall in a crumpled pile to the ground, Daryl kicked it away, annoyed his time with Carol had been disrupted a second time in less than ten minutes. He was about to suggest heading back to the cell block when he heard something familiar that made his blood run cold. A deep grumbling groan. Followed by several more deep moans.
"Shit..." Daryl whispered grabbing Carol's hand, there was no way the two of them could take out that many with no crossbow. He looked up and down the corridor and reached for the handle of the nearest door, he found himself looking in to a dark empty store cupboard. "Come on." He said dragging her in to the store cupboard and slamming the door.
He wished he had a torch.
