Right. This is crack. Just straight crack. Just a warning.

I don't own Hetalia. It'd be too crack. So I was banned from owning it. At least, I think that's what this legal document says.


It was a lazy Saturday, and China, Canada, and South Korea were taking turns playing the Game Cube version of "From Russia, With Love." Russia had given them out as Christmas presents last year, deciding that the hilarity of the title outweighed the annoyance of America's game ideas.

"Ya know, eh," Canada said, "I've always wondered…"

"Hmm?" China didn't look up from the game guide he was scrutinizing. It was currently Korea's turn to play.

"Well, I was doing a Google vs. Yahoo battle last night, and-"

"I love those things, aru! They're so much fun, and you get really silly results too!" China was now paying attention, while South Korea was concentrating on a particularly difficult section of the game. "What did you pick, aru?"

"'Why doesn't', actually, eh. Yahoo said 'Why doesn't he love me?', and Google gave 'Why doesn't Hello Kitty have a mouth?'."

China laughed, and caught the controller when South Korea tossed it at him. "Good one, aru!"

"You know, I've wondered the same thing, eh…"

"Well that's easy to answer, da ze!" South Korea stood and was grinning.

Canada's eyes widened. "Seriously, eh?"

"Yeah! If Hello Kitty had a mouth, Japan'd be plagiarizing Aniki's nihilistic Shinatty-chan, da ze!"

Canada just stared. America jumped up from behind the couch, where he had hid when he saw China (debt speech avoidance tactic no. 349). "PLAGIRISM IS BAD!" And then he ran out the door.

At this, something in Canada snapped. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL SMOKING!?"


And somewhere, Cuba and Holland shouted: "I WANT SOME TOO!"


Today, I gave into the Google vs. Yahoo battle. I searched "Why doesn't," and Yahoo gave me "Why doesn't he love me?" Google gave me "Why doesn't Hello Kitty have a mouth?" I've wondered the same thing before... MLIA

Okay, yeah, I just really, REALLY wanted a pure!crack one. Really badly. I couldn't resist. I'm sorry. *goes on a plotbunny hunt* IT'S WABBIT SEASON!