"If he loved with all the powers of his puny being, he couldn't love as much in eighty years as I could in a day." - Wuthering Heights


"I still can't believe he kissed you and then ran away like a scared little girl," Kitty laughed as she sat in front of the mirror, spreading some blush over her cheeks. Both girls were in Kitty's bedroom crowded around her vanity as they got ready to meet up with Puck and his friends in an hour.

"He did not run away!" Rachel said defensively. "He just chose not to stay and see my reaction to his kiss is all. Perfectly normal."

"Right, okay. You tell yourself that, Rach. We both know that's a load of BS."

Rachel tossed a pillow at the back of her roommate's head, sticking a tongue out at her. "Stop being rude. I do not appreciate it."

"Well, I don't appreciate that hideous dress you have on, but I was trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings."

Rachel stood up straight, looking down at her body and inspecting what she had chosen to wear for the night. She'd chosen a loose-fitting light blue dress that fell just above her knees. The waist was cinched with a bow of the same color and material. She had nude tights on underneath and finished it with a pair of black flats. "What is wrong with this dress?" she asked, twirling once for good measure.

"You look like an elementary-school teacher. No, worse. You look like an elementary-school student. You don't look hot or sexy or anything like that. You're 27-years-old, Rachel. You should dress like it every once in awhile. Especially when you're meeting your fake boyfriend's friends. That same fake boyfriend who kissed you a few days ago."

"I do not think I follow."

Kitty rolled her eyes and sighed. "Look, if you want Noah Puckerman to eat your vagina like it's a fucking hot fudge sundae, you'll burn that dress. And then when he takes you into the bathroom and fucks your brains out, you'll thank me for helping you finally get laid."

"Do you ever think of anything besides my sex life? Anyways, even if I burn this dress that will not help since you claim all my clothes are hideous."

"They are. You make yourself look at least 15 years younger than you are, and not in a good way. You and me are going shopping tomorrow morning before you and your future lover leave for the sunshine state. We're getting you some decent clothes to help you get some. Think about how proud Kurt will be seeing you in something other than a pair of flat Mary Janes."

"Okay, but that still does not solve the problem you claim we have tonight. You want me to toss this dress, but in your eyes I have nothing else that is suitable to wear, and while the idea of showing up naked is thrilling, I do not think it would be wise. Suggestions?"

Kitty, her face partially made up, rose to her feet and headed into her closet.

Rachel groaned, lying back on Kitty's bed. "Nothing of yours will fit me and you know it. My breasts are at least two cups smaller and I am at least six inches shorter than you are."

Kitty emerged, a pale purple dress hanging from her arm. "Which is why I'm not having you wear something of mine. I got this a few months ago from work but it was too tight and too short. I think it'll be perfect on you."

"Speaking of work, when do you plan on going back instead of lounging around here all day like a bum?" Rachel asked, taking the dress from Kitty and laid it on the bed. She began stripping down to her underwear, tossing the dress she had just been wearing onto the floor.

"Here," Kitty said, tossing her a white thong that still had the tags on. "You'll want this so no one is forced to stare at your pantyline all night. And I don't plan on it. I quit two days ago."

Rachel turned to her, looking stunned. "Quit? But why? You love that job."

"Loved," Kitty corrected. "Isabelle was wonderful, but I knew Tyler was going to make my life a living hell after Paris."

"What happened?"

Kitty shook her head. "It's stupid, really. He put the moves on me, I said no, he slapped me and ripped my blouse. I didn't tell anyone what happened, I just quit. It's better this way."

"You should tell someone!" Rachel exclaimed, ditching her pink underwear on the floor. "You could sue them or something."

Kitty's eyes darkened at that suggestion. "I don't want their money," she spat.

"Sorry," Rachel said, dropping the subject. "So what are you going to do now instead?"

Kitty shrugged. "Work on starting my own line, maybe. I'll figure it out, but for now it gives me time to destroy your toddler wardrobe and make you look like the sex kitten we both know you secretly are. Oh, toss the shoes too. Wear these," Kitty said, tossing Rachel a pair of white pumps. "All of his friends are going to get a collective boner when they see you. I'd be shocked if Finn doesn't dump the doctor and ask you to get back together," she teased, watching Rachel pull the shoes on.

She stood up, smoothing the dress over her body. "Well?"

"I predict bathroom fucking ten minutes after we get there," Kitty said with a nod, finishing her makeup. She had on a pair of tight leather pants with a white peplum blouse and black riding boots. Her blonde hair was in waves and instead of wearing her contacts, she had her black glasses on instead. She tossed her keys and money into a black clutch before turning to Rachel. "Ready bitch?"

Rachel threw her things into a white bag and nodded her head. "Born ready."


"And eight in the left corner wins the game!" Puck crowed, pumping his fist in the air. Joe was rolling his eyes while his girlfriend Elsa looked on with amusement. "Sorry to school you in front of your girl, Joey," he taunted.

Joe flipped Puck off, leaning over and planting a kiss on Elsa's cheek. She took a sip of his beer before handing it to him, laughing as he pulled her off her bar stool and into his arms for a tight hug.

Elsa Collins and Joe Hart had first met in college and were friends for years. They had sat next to one another in their freshman English class and started talking when Elsa asked Joe about his dreads. They'd always flirted but were adamant about staying just friends until a year ago.

After college, Elsa was trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life and ended up deciding to apply to the FBI. Thanks to her mother's insistence that she be fluent in at least one other language, she was accepted into the academy. For the past few years, she'd been translating foreign documents as well as interpreting both the words and behaviors of suspects during interrogation. Of course, that meant she was living in DC, not New York.

Joe had gone down for her birthday and, after years of insisting they should just be friends, decided he didn't want to just be her friend when he saw her co-worker hitting on her at the bar. He told her that, and the rest was history.

"See what you're missing down in DC, Elsie?" Puck said, chucking a peanut at Joe's head as he leaned down to kiss his girlfriend again. Puck had known Elsa almost as long as Joe had. Puck and Joe had been college roommates, meaning he got to know Joe's now-girlfriend pretty well over the years.

"What, watching you fools get drunk and make sex jokes every Thursday? I don't think I'm missing much there. I was treated to that most weekends during our college years. Don't you ever get tired of it?"

Puck shook his head. "Never. I'm like Peter Pan. I'll never grow up."

"That much is obvious. So tell me about this girl we're meeting tonight."

"I don't know. She's a girl. What more do you need to know?"

"Well, is she a cunt-faced bitch like your skanky ex? Or just hot and dumb as a post?"

"Ouch Els, tell me how you really feel," Puck joked, laughing as she stuck her tongue out at him. "She's cool. You'll like her. She and Finnessa are like old friends or something. If he likes her, I'm pretty sure you will too. Her roommate's kind of a bitch, but I don't care if you like her or not."

"Fair enough," Elsa said, taking a sip of her beer. "Just promise me she's not like one of those annoying sorority girl types that drove me bananas in college."

Finn shook his head. "She's not," he promised. "She's a theater freak and aspiring actress. Total opposite of sorority girls. I think she went to maybe two frat parties during college. She's more likely to stay home and learn a new dance routine than to go out partying. She's hyperactive and a bit intense, but she's cool. You'll like her."

"You also said I'd like Tina, so forgive me for not completely trusting your judgement," Elsa teased, rubbing Joe's upper arm as he finished the rest of his beer.

Puck heard the door to the bar open and Artie sucked in some air. "I think I just found my future wife." Puck turned his head to see what Artie was talking about and had to pick his jaw up off the floor.

Rachel had just walked in with Kitty trailing behind her, looking more gorgeous than he had ever seen her before. Of course, his times seeing Rachel were limited, but every time she was in something loose-fitting with tights and a pair of flat shoes. She looked like the total opposite right now. The dress she'd chosen hugged every curve of her body while the hemline showed off her legs nicely.

Puck watched her pull out her phone, not having spotted him yet.

"You dumbass, that's Rachel," Puck said, knocking Artie in the shoulder jokingly. His phone buzzed with a text from Rachel, announcing that she had arrived. "I'll go grab her."

Puck took a dozen large steps in her direction, stopping beside her and clearing his throat. "Noah!" she greeted, a big smile on her face. "You beat us here. See, if you had not forced me to change, we would have been on time," Rachel said, looking at Kitty with a disapproving stare.

"Yeah, and if you showed up in that ugly blue dress, your fake boyfriend wouldn't be thinking of cold showers and naked grandmas right now."

"Remind me why I remain friends with you?" Rachel asked as Puck placed an arm on the small of her back, something that made her cheeks turn red. She placed a hand against his side, leaning into his touch.

"Because I'm doing everything in my power to ensure you get laid at your best friend's wedding, something I'm sure Puckerman wants to happen as well."

Rachel's face flushed a deeper shade of red as Puck's grip on her tightened. "I do not know what you are talking about," Rachel said, feigning ignorance.

"Which makes you the biggest idiot I know. Go make nice with Heisenberg's friends while he gets me a drink. Don't worry, I'll get your gin and tonic too. Come on, Puckerman." With that, Kitty grabbed Puck's arm and pulled him towards the bar, leaving Rachel standing all alone at the door.

Thankfully, not all of Puck's friends were strangers to her. "Rach, over here!" Finn called with a wave in her direction. She turned her smile on him, heading over to where he was sitting, a group of people she'd never met before seated around him. "Glad to see your boyfriend ditched you two seconds after you arrived," he joked, rolling his eyes. "I guess that means I'm doing introductions. Joe, Elsa, Rory, and Artie," he said, pointing to each person as he said their name. "This is Rachel Berry, my very good friend and the girl that is way too good for Puckerman."

Rachel waved to each person, giving them all a smile. "It is lovely to meet all of you. Do all of you work with Noah like Finn here does?"

The guy called Joe sucked in a breath. "Don't let Puck hear you call him that. He hates that name."

"What, Noah?" Rachel asked. The group nodded their heads. She shrugged her shoulders. "I have called him that from the moment I met him. He does not seem to mind that much. I prefer to call people by the names their mothers gave them, though I make an exception with my roommate. She only allows her mother to call her by her real name."

"He must really like you," Elsa said. "He punched Joe in the stomach once sophomore year for calling him that."

"So Rachel Berry, what do you do?" Artie asked, wheeling a little closer to her. "You know, besides keep Puckerman glued to his phone all night and talk like my great-aunt Gertrude," he teased.

Rachel let out a soft laugh, glancing over to the bar. Kitty and Puck were leaning on the counter top, apparently deep in conversation. She felt her stomach flip, praying Kitty wasn't about to ruin this for her.

"I am an actress. Well, a struggling actress up until two weeks ago. I was recently cast in a new Broadway production where I will be playing the female lead. I have been waitressing in my spare time to ensure I can afford my rent and bills."

"Puckerman is dating an actress?" Elsa asked. "Seriously, where did he meet you and how'd he manage to convince you to go out with him? You're like a million leagues above him. You do know he's a high school chemistry teacher, right?"

Rachel covered her mouth as she let out another laugh. "Yes, I am aware of his profession and more than okay with it. We met at Starbucks and struck up a conversation. Turns out we have many things in common. He asked for my number and I suppose the rest is history." She shrugged her shoulders slightly. "To be honest, he is a breath of fresh air compared to my ex-boyfriend. He is funny, sweet, and very normal, which is exactly what I need in my life."

"He is a normal guy," Elsa agreed. "Well, as normal as you can be with these clowns as your friends," she laughed, pulling Joe close and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Especially this one. He's about as un-normal as someone can be."

"You see the abuse I take, Rachel? She's in town one day and she already starts making fun of me. The minute Puckerman starts picking on you like this, hit me up. I know plenty of guys who would like to date an actress," he laughed.

Rachel giggled. "I will keep that in mind." She looked over at the bar again, the fear of Kitty ruining things for her creeping into her mind again.

Over at the bar, Puck was getting the third degree from Rachel's roommate while they waited for the bartender to finish making their drinks. "I don't see why you won't just admit you want to fuck her," Kitty said, taking a sip of her drink. "I could tell that's what you wanted to do the minute she walked into the bar in that dress. You're welcome, by the way."

"Why should I be thanking you?"

"Because she wanted to wear this ugly, frumpy dress that I'm forcing her to burn tonight when we get home." Kitty let out a sigh. "Look, Rachel doesn't realize she's a hot piece of ass. She had a rough time in high school from what I understand and refuses to believe me when I tell her she's smoking hot. She wears those horrible dresses that make her look like she's five because she doesn't think she can pull off a dress like the one I forced her to wear tonight."

"Is there a reason you're telling me all this?" Puck asked, handing the bartender his card to open a tab after he handed him Rachel's drink.

"Look, she likes you. I know she keeps saying this is fake so she doesn't look like an ass in front of Sam, but I see how she is around you. Her face gets red every time you touch her and she wouldn't shut up about you kissing her last night. She's also been majorly fucked over by assholes in the past and I don't want to see her get hurt again, especially not right before her big break. I know you think she's hot and you want to bang her, just don't fuck up my best friend in your quest to get laid."

"If I sleep with her, I'm not just going to nail her and then never call her. I'm pretending to be her boyfriend, remember? I kind of have to see her and talk to her at least until all this wedding nonsense is done."

"And then you plan on fake dumping her."

"I never said that!"

"You do like her," Kitty said, her voice confident. "I always thought you didn't hang out with girls after sleeping with them."

"Don't believe the rumors. I actually can be a decent human being from time to time," he teased, thanking the bartender. "My fake gal pal looks like she's ready to have a heart attack. Shall we?"

Kitty nodded her head. "Let's not torture her any longer than necessary." The two, with drinks in hand, rejoined the group. Puck stopped next to Rachel, handing her her drink before placing a soft kiss on her cheek. This time, her noticed as her cheeks turned a light pink. He smiled to himself at that, glad to know he had that kind of effect on her.

"I hope you assholes have been being nice to my girl," Puck said, giving his friends a look as he wrapped his arms around Rachel's waist from behind. "Can't have you upsetting my lady."

"They were," Elsa promised. "I was even moderately nice. Though seriously, why didn't you tell me your girlfriend was on Broadway? Or that she works at Ellen's? Joe took me there last time I was in the city and I totally remember her. She's like, seriously talented."

Puck shrugged his shoulders, pulling Rachel closer as he placed another kiss on her cheek. "I didn't think you'd care."

"That's because you're a dick. Okay Rachel, I'm here all next week. Text me your work schedule so I can get lunch or dinner while your working."

"Well, I am not working because of rehearsals and I am gone the next few weekends, but maybe I could get you in to see one of our rehearsals?"

Elsa let out an excited squeal. "That's like, a million times better. It'll give me something to do while Joe's busy making the big bucks all day," she laughed, patting her boyfriend's hand.

Rachel looked behind her at Puck and gave him a smile. He smiled back at her, leaning his face close to hers, giving her a kiss on the lips for the second time. This time, however, he didn't run away. He just kept his arms wrapped tightly around her as his friends kept talking to Rachel, eager to learn more about her.


Around two in the morning, Rachel decided she needed to head home if she planned on making it through rehearsals. The whole group headed out to the street, Rachel calling a cab for her and Kitty.

While they waited for it to show up, Rachel continued talking with most of Puck's friends, Puck's arms never leaving her body. Kitty, not surprisingly, had separated herself from the group. What was surprising was that she had managed to find someone to talk to. Puck's friend, Artie, seemed to want to get to know her despite her constant bitch-face and uncaring attitude towards him.

"Rachel, you have to come out with us again," Joe insisted, tying his dreads back while Elsa let out a yawn. "You're much nicer than Puck's last girlfriend."

"Not that it's harder to be nicer than her," Elsa added.

"Trust me, she knows."

"Oh, so you met Tina? Did she just ignore you or did she insult you?"

"She implied I was a whore based on my attire for the night."

"Ugh, I can't stand her," Elsa vented. "She can't stand me either, though. I'm just so glad this doofus wised up and started dating someone classy like you," she laughed. The cab pulled up to the curb and Elsa waved to Rachel. "It was awesome meeting you. I'll text you this weekend. You have my digits, right?"

Rachel nodded her head.

"Okay good. Puck, we're going to start heading to Artie's. We'll see you when you finish saying goodbye to Rachel. Wheels, let's go!" Elsa yelled, causing Artie to jump a little. He waved to Kitty, who rolled her eyes at him, climbing into the cab as she waited for Rachel.

"So, I had a lot of fun tonight," Rachel said, turning in his arms so she was facing him.

"Me too. They really like you. Especially Elsa, and she's hard to win over."

"Well, then I am glad she finally likes one of your girlfriends," she teased. "So I will see you at the airport tomorrow then. How about we meet at the ticket counter at 2:30 in the afternoon. That will give us plenty of time to get through security," she said, her arms wrapped around his waist.

"Sounds perfect." He leaned his head down, his lips hovering by her ear. "I can't wait," he whispered, kissing her cheek once before waving goodbye, chasing after his friends.

Rachel climbed into the cab next to Kitty, half-listening to her complain about Puck's friend while she kept thinking about their Miami trip. She realized she couldn't wait either.