Ch7: Priorities

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Zuko imagined that, in a different set of circumstances, he would've been overjoyed by his current predicament.

He was half lying on the couch, all but trapped underneath a very warm and fast asleep Katara. Her face was propped against his collar, and her chest pressed intimately against his while Zuko's arms were wrapped protectively around her waist. He could feel her every breath by the exhalation tickling his neck and the agonizing rise and fall of her chest.

As it were, nothing about this was as sublime as it should or could have been. If only her body wasn't warm from a lingering fever. If only she hadn't cried herself to an exhausted sleep in his arms. If only she wouldn't push him away when she woke.

If only he hadn't been with someone else. If only he hadn't done the things he had done. If only he wasn't who he was.

If only they–

Zuko shoved away the half-formed thought. He couldn't let his mind stray down that path.

He looked down at Katara's face, slightly scrunched in a frown even in sleep.

No, if he let himself go there, he may never be able to turn back.

With a sigh, he gingerly shifted his body out from underneath Katara's. As he did so, the waterbender made a soft mewling noise in protest of the loss of warmth. Resisting with all his willpower the urge to lie back down at once and return his arms to the curve if her waist, Zuko straightened and backed away. As an afterthought, he grabbed a blanket and draped it over her before turning away once more and walking out before he could change his mind.

As soon as he was out the door, Zuko started moving, letting his feet carry him away. The destination didn't matter; as long as he could get away from the torment that was the intoxicating, infuriating waterbender.

What was he going to do now? How much longer could he hide her in his room? How much longer before someone got to her? How much longer before she escaped herself?

This was madness and he knew it. What was he even thinking helping her in the first place? How could she ever forgive him, let alone trust him, after all he had done to her? They were from two worlds that were not just different from one another, but in direct opposition. They were prince and peasant, Fire Nation and Water Tribe, sun and moon. Even the mere existence of the one entailed a direct assault upon the other. For all intents and purposes, Zuko should have let her die…

Maybe back there, on the dock, he would've been able to feign disinterest and leave her to the mercy of the Fire Nation. He shouldn't have walked over at all. He should have turned around and forgotten about her. But the moment she looked back at him; the vilification in her eyes...he had just wanted so badly to prove her wrong, to show her that he wasn't the monster she thought he was. And then, when he had found out she was to be executed…all he could think was: Not her, not her.

Now, Zuko didn't know if he would be able to let her go. Every fibre of his being rejected the notion.

As the temperature around him suddenly dropped, Zuko finally awoke to his surroundings. He had found his way to the dungeons – not the tower where Katara had stayed, nor the prisons where friends were presumably being held, but rather the dungeons that held long term prisoners.

The dungeons where Uncle Iroh was carrying out his lifelong prison sentence.

The guards allowed him to pass without contest, and Zuko grew increasingly anxious as he approached his uncle's cell. He had visited only once before, but the conversation – if one could even call it that – had ended badly. If he recalled correctly, he had angrily told Iroh to rot away in his cell for the rest of his life for all he cared before storming out.

He needed Iroh, now more than ever. He couldn't tell right from wrong anymore, and now, for the first time in a long time, he cared.

Zuko paused in front of the heavy cell door, took a deep breath, and pushed it open.

Iroh sat, cross-legged in the centre of his cell, with his eyes closed and his hands crossed underneath his long sleeves. He did not stir when Zuko entered, only continued to meditate.

Zuko approached the metal bars separating them hesitantly. He knelt down to sit in front of his uncle, crossing his legs to mirror his position.

He didn't speak for several seconds more, only looked upon the face of the man he so admired and loved – the face of the man who had once so believed in him. Zuko's mouth was like sandpaper and his tongue felt like lead.

"How have you been?" he began.

There was no response.

"I don't know if you'll know by now but the Fire Nation has won the war," Zuko continued. "The Northern Water Tribe has fallen and Ozai plans to recrown himself the Phoenix King, ruler of the world, on the day of Sozin's Comet."

Zuko paused to see if there was a reaction, but Iroh only sat still, as though he had not hear him at all.

"And I...I have been appointed the new Fire Lord in his place."

Silence.

Zuko sighed. "Uncle, I need your help; I don't know what to do. Ever since I got here, I've felt…neither happy nor sad. I don't even know what to think of our victory or my coronation. I know I should be over the moon but…I'm not. I've just been frustrated and on edge.

"Most of all, I've been afraid. I was afraid that father would have me banished or executed for failing to kill the avatar. Then I was afraid that Azula would do something terrible after she found out I would become Fire Lord. And now, more than anything else, I'm afraid of myself…of what I have the power to do, or not do.

"I'm afraid for the world. I used to only care about honour; it didn't matter to me what honour was worth or what I had to do to get it. But now, I can't even figure myself out, let alone decide what's best for an entire nation. I know that I don't want to rule like Azula or Ozai or Sozin…I don't want to wage war, send men to their deaths, destroy other peoples. I just…I want to do the right thing. But I can't even begin to figure out what that is.

"Uncle…" Zuko's voice broke, his face skewed in agony. "I'm afraid I've already become a monster…"

He swallowed, struggling to utter the words he so feared to admit out loud.

"I've done a terrible thing, uncle. When father told me I would be Fire Lord, he said that I would have to be ruthless. He wanted me to prove it by…by having me personally sentence all of the rebels from the Day of Black Sun to death."

He looked away from his uncle and stared down at his hands.

"I don't want my first act Fire Lord to be slaughter - but I had to. I need to have power to protect her…Katara. She...she traveled with the avatar. She's a waterbender…Azula wanted to have her killed but I couldn't just let her die so I've been hiding her from the rest of court."

The words tumbled clumsily out of his mouth one after the other as he tried to explain the inexplicable.

"I just…want her to be safe. And I can't keep her safe from Azula, from father, from anyone, if I'm not Fire Lord. I know she already hates me but when she finds out what I've done…it doesn't matter, I don't care if she despises me. As long as I can keep her alive…"

He looked up and was startled to see Iroh's haggard gold eyes staring back at him. He continued to look at Zuko silently for a time, eyes weary but glowing curiously in the dim light.

"Are you in love with her?" He asked slowly, softly.

Zuko was quiet. He could feel a thousand emotions bubbling just under the surface but he push them down, struggling to keep any from spilling over. If he even let one of his emotions escape, he might just explode…

"I don't know…"


It was the sun that finally woke her. Katara had slept all morning and by the time she woke for the second time that day, the sun was at its zenith and her fever was all but gone.

She yawned and pushed herself up from the couch, swinging her legs around to the floor. On the small table in front of the couch was a tray of food and tea. A small slip of paper was propped up against the teapot. Katara picked it up. In a hasty, impatient scrawl was a single word: "Eat."

She smiled and reached for a pastry covered in sesame seeds. She took a bite, her teeth sinking into a buttery and flaky pastry with a red bean paste on the inside. As she ate, she realized just how ravenous she was; her last meal had been back in the tower and considerably less decadent than what Zuko had left for her.

After emptying her plate and a cup of lukewarm tea, Katara stood up and made her way back to the bathroom.

Last night, she had been too preoccupied with finally taking a bath and being in her element to notice her reflection.

Now, she braced herself for the worst as she walked with her eyes lowered resolutely at the ground towards the oval mirror she knew was set in the wall over a washbasin. She placed her hands on either side of the sink to steady herself, took a deep breath

- and looked.

She watched as her reflection widened its eyes in shock, hands flying up to its face. She had been disfigured. A slash of red streaked across her entire face, grazing the bottom of her lip and wrapping around her right cheek all the way to her ear and neck. Puckered layers of irritated and half-healed skin raised her once flawless complexion into a series of grotesque grooves and fissures. Where her face wasn't a mud red or an ugly yellow, it was grey and sunken in with malnutrition and fatigue. In the slightly gold tinted mirror, even her clear blue eyes looked like dirty dishwater.

Katara reached up to press her fingers lightly to the corner of her mouth, just on the edge of her burn then grazed her fingertips across her mangled cheek into her hair. Strands of hair ended in twisted burnt clumps unevenly all across the right side of her head. Some pieces stopped at the shoulder while others ended almost at her scalp.

Katara could feel tears stinging in her eyes. She wouldn't be able to put her hair up like the other Southern Water Tribe women anymore. She no longer resembled her mother or her father. All anyone would ever see when they looked into her face was a scar, a weakness, a loss. She would never be considered pretty again. The most she could hope for was pity…

I'll be just like Zuko…

She flushed as she recalled the first time she had seen him so long ago in the South Pole. Even then, when she had been truly powerless and afraid, she had only to take one look at his face to start feeling sorry for him. No matter what he was, who he was, what he did - his scar told his story for him, told the entire world of his ugly history with fire.

And now, Katara would be the same.

But I will not be weak. I refuse to be.

Her expression hardened and she abruptly turned from the mirror and began opening cabinets and rifling through shelves. A few moments later, she found it – a pair of scissors. Turning around to face her reflection once more, she took a section of hair and cut. Locks of her long brown hair fell to the floor, one after the other, until the ground at her feet was covered in her hair.

She placed the scissors on the counter with a clink. Her hair was now shorter than Zuko's, leaving her neck and face completely exposed, with tufts of hair sticking out all around her head. Incredibly, her reflection in the mirror cracked a smile.

Katara was suddenly struck by how similar she now looked to her brother...

Sokka, hang in there…

I'm coming.


There were a lot of things Zuko could think of that would be infinitely more pleasant than the meeting he was currently attending. Battling a dragon for instance, or being eaten alive by fire ants.

Shortly after he had left the dungeons, he had been called to a meeting with the Fire Lord and the rest of the imperial council to discuss his new position as future Fire Lord and the various issues currently plaguing the Fire Nation and its colonies. Currently, he was sitting between his father and some commander recently returned from the North Pole. Azula was ignoring him resolutely from her seat on the Fire Lord's other side, as they all waited for the meeting to commence.

If it was anyone else other than Azula, Zuko would have felt bad for the turn of events, but this was Azula. If anyone deserved pity right now, it would be Zuko for having become the primary object of her wrath.

Next to him the Fire Lord straightened in his seat and spread his hands on the table before them. Within seconds the din around the table died to an absolute silence. Ozai slowly flicked his eyes across the room at the assemblage of persons seated around the table. Then he sat back once more, rested his elbows on the armrests of his chair and folded his hands above his lap. Then, in a tone that reflected a discussion of the weather on a particularly uneventful day, he began to speak.

"As you are all aware, Prince Zuko will, in a few weeks time, become the new Fire Lord. As Fire Lord, he will naturally assume responsibility of all domestic affairs in the Fire Nation as well as oversee the leadership of our overseas colonies. But our meeting today does not solely concern Zuko's leadership," Ozai paused, tapping his thumbs together casually.

"In this new world, we will be establishing new leadership for every nation under the command of the Phoenix King. In fact, this has already begun, in the Earth Kingdom, where virtually all power has been consolidated by Princess Azula."

Zuko glanced over at his younger sister, who smiled slightly, still staring straight ahead.

"Today I am officially proclaiming Princess Azula the first Queen of the Earth Kingdom under the empire of the Phoenix King," Ozai paused as polite applause broke out around the table. The reaction was appropriate but not overly enthusiastic; her promotion was only to be expected as Azula had essentially been running the entire Earth Kingdom since the beginning of the summer. In fact, she had started her rule even earlier counting the time she had spent manipulating key Earth Kingdom leaders under disguise.

Ozai carried on in the same flippant tone: "The Water tribes will be under the rule of Admiral Zhao, who, as you all know, is currently working to establish control in the North Pole."

Zuko frowned; at the celebration banquet, his father had declared the Northern Water Tribes completely defeated. Did this mean that they were still fighting back?

"The Air Nomad temples and islands I will be handling personally," Ozai continued, "But that will be a topic for another time. As for now, Commander Zu – " he gestured towards the man on Zuko's right " – has news for us from the North Pole."

The commander cleared his throat.

"Thank you, your majesty. A hawk was sent to the Capital a few days ago reporting that our forces had defeated the Northern Water Tribe. While the main Water tribe army along with its leaders have been decimated and dispersed, several pockets of resistance still remain," he cleared his throat again. The commander's voice was firm but Zuko could see him tapping his foot nervously under the table.

"The reason Admiral Zhao ordered me back to the Capital was to gather fresh recruits to bolster our remaining armies in the north and hopefully eliminate the opposition once and for all."

Someone from the council asked a question about the number of battle ships in the north but Zuko's mind was already racing for away from the council table. If the Northern Water tribe was not yet defeated, then the war was still not over. His reign would begin not only with the execution of Katara's friends and family, but the death sentences of his fellow Fire Nation citizens…

As he tuned back into the discussion at the table, he caught the end of another council member's question: "…news on the Southern Water Tribe?"

Commander Zu shook his head, smiling slightly. "No need to worry about the south; the Southern Water Tribe at this time is almost non-existent. Every southern water bender has been killed and most of their men were among the Avatar's final resistance force."

Not every southern water bender… Zuko thought to himself.

"That will be all, Commander," the Fire Lord interjected. "Azula, give us your report on the state of the Earth Kingdom."

Azula, who had already been sitting rigidly at attention, straightened even more in her seat. "Documentation of all earth benders in the kingdom is almost complete. Our current registry shows that the major cities houses the largest proportion and the largest populations of earth benders, and specially trained guards have been sent to patrol in those areas. Registered benders have been issued mandatory armbands to be worn at all times for easy identification. I am currently in the process of reorganizing the leadership across the Earth Kingdom, reappointing major positions to Fire Nation leaders. I am also happy to report that my Dai Li agents have successfully located the former Earth King and his bear. Resistance has been in steady decline since the fall of Ba Sing Se, however, a public execution of the former Earth King has nonetheless been scheduled. It will serve as a powerful deterrent against any future challenges to Fire Nation rule."

Zuko sighed. No matter how sadistic and heartless, Azula was undeniably still incredibly intelligent and endlessly ambitious. Her report had been succinct, eloquent, and above all entirely positive, a feat that no one short of phenomenal could accomplish in times like these.

Ozai nodded, very evidently pleased. He made a few short inquiries, to which Azula answered flawlessly, before turning to Zuko. His expression dimmed by a just barely noticeable degree.

"Zuko, would you care to present to council your first orders of action as Fire Lord."

"Uh, yes, certainly," he took a shallow breath. "In spite of our many successful campaigns overseas, our national security and the safety of our own people must still take precedent. The recent attempted invasion by the Avatar and his followers is hopefully the last that we shall see of its kind, seeing as the Avatar has finally been defeated, once and for all."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Zuko realized his mistake. A few council members coughed discreetly, while the Fire Lord's lips pressed tightly together in displeasure.

"Um, yes. So, our national security," Zuko could feel his face heating up, but he forced himself to look away from the direction of his father – and Azula, who no doubt would be smirking smugly by now – and pushed on. "The captured rebels from the the Day of Black Sun – or rather, the uh day before the Day of Black Sun – will be punished accordingly."

Zuko paused and glanced over at the Fire Lord, who raised an eyebrow expectedly.

"…That is, all of the captured shall be executed in order to ensure that they will pose no more danger to us and to deter any others from attempting a future attack or act of rebellion."

A few sympathetic council members nodded their encouragement, while others simply looked on judgmentally. The latter seemed to have all turned their attentions toward Ozai to watch his reaction to Zuko's thoroughly lackluster speech.

And then, a clear and high voice suddenly cut through the tense silence.

"Excuse me, Prince Zuko, but if these executions are not made public, they won't really be sending much of a message would they?"

Everyone turned to Azula and then back at Zuko for his response.

"Ah, well –"

"In fact," Azula continued. "You ought to have them all hung in the Royal Plaza outside the city gates, maybe keep a few of the bodies up there for public viewing for a week or so as well."

Zuko tried and failed to mask his horror with anger.

"You didn't mention this when you were describing your plan of action, but I assume you will be personally presiding over this event as the nation's new leader, will you not?"

Azula was practically beaming; in this room, she was utterly in her element while Zuko was sorely out of his depth. Regardless of titles, Azula was the one who had stayed in court for all those years, honing her skills and collecting experience while Zuko was living out his banishment and chasing after the Avatar in vain. Azula was and would always be the better leader, the master manipulator, and commander of every room.

"Excellent, Zuko, do as the princess has suggested. I expect this execution to take place within the next few days; we have already wasted too many resourecs housing these rebels," Ozai moved on from Zuko to question some governor from a wealth colony on his declining exports.

For the rest of the meeting Zuko felt as though he was slowly being burned alive from the inside out. Not only had he made a fool of himself in front of council, but he would now have to plan and exact the most horrifying event of his life. As soon as the council adjourned, he made a dash for the door and practically sprinted all the way back to his quarters.

When he pushed open the door, he was surprised to find Katara asleep once more in his bed. He noticed three things in succession: first, the darkness outside – the meeting had apparently stretched out through the entire afternoon and evening.

Then he saw her hair, cropped short.

He smiled; so she had decided to live and fight after all.

His thoughts turned once more to Iroh's lone question to him…

If Zuko was certain about anything, it was that he admired Katara for her strength, for her passion, and her loyalty. As for his other feelings…in a few days, she would hate him irrevocably anyway; any other feelings, existent or not, were not permitted…

The third and last thing Zuko noticed was the shirt she was wearing. It was his, and it looked too big for her frame, too red against her skin, and too ill fitting to be comfortable, but it was his and she was wearing it. It was his shirt. She was wearing his shirt.

After conjuring a quick mental excuse about how tired he was, Zuko promptly pushed all extraneous thoughts – confused, jumbled, and undecipherable as they were – out of his head.

Before he could reconsider, he climbed gingerly into the other side of the bed and lay down next to her. Almost at once, Zuko fell deeply asleep, the image of Katara with her burn scar and her short hair and his red shirt embedded thoroughly in his soul.

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A/N: Yikes, it's been over two weeks since the last update. Since then, I've gotten a full-time job doing very tiring and time-consuming work. I've also been busy spending my last summer before going away to university with my friends. But don't you worry; I've been thoroughly tormented by this story the entire time and have basically counted up the days it's been since the last update. So yes, essentially, this story is consuming my life but I love it and will never leave it no matter how much work and life get in the way. Internet, fandom, Zutara come first. Always.

Tell me how you feel about chapters like these; there's less Zutara fluff or even just interaction in general but quite a bit of other character/plot development things. I just don't want Zuko and Katara to literally only build themselves up on each other so, for that (and other reasons), I have to put them in other situations outside of the other's company (so please don't hate me for it!). The really juicy stuff (not necessarily lemony stuff before anyone gets ideas…) is happening in Ch. 9-10 so get excited because I'm excited!

À la prochaine!