Just Another Lorelai Gilmore

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or the affiliated characters/references.

Chapter 8.

It was early morning and I hadn't slept at all. I kept replaying the night in my head over and over again. Jess' face contorted with anger and hurt. My mom kept calling and I finally texted her that I would just have to fill her in when she got home. I couldn't talk to her over the phone. Seems to be an unfavorable quality of mine lately, not being able to talk to people. I flipped over to my side and reached for my phone, I had yet to find the perfect words to say to Jess. I wanted so badly to reach out to him, but I knew I had to be prepared with what I wanted to say. I heard the rustle of the door being opened and mom barging into the house. "I'm in here." I called out.

My door whipped open and she hurried next to me on the bed. "Rory, what happened?" She was rubbing my back in comfort as she saw the tear stains on my face and pillow.

"I ruined it. I kept this secret and he found out. He found the ultrasound and flipped. I can't blame him though." I sniffed back some tears from emerging.

"I'm going to assume you guys had started to let your emotions out?" I nodded, but said nothing. "And now he's angry that you kept this from him?"

"We hung out all week, he spent the night- nothing happened," I clarified right away, "and just last night before he saw the ultrasound, we had kissed. My plan was to tell him today before he left, so he could have some time to think things through back at home. Kind of like, we would both have space to digest this more. Or maybe just space so I wouldn't have to be around when he decided he didn't want a Gilmore plus one on the way. I messed up mom. In so many ways." I cried into my pillow, as she tried to console me.

"Luke headed to the diner to talk to Jess about how business has been. I'll see if he gets any information on his side, ok? But hey, you and Jess… I think you're going to be ok. He knows you're someone special, and even when I hated the idea, I could see how much he meant to you as well. Feelings like that, they have a way of winning over even the worst situations." She placed a kiss on my head. "I'm gonna make us some coffee, I found a bag of decaf for you from Costa Rica."

She left the room and I laid there pathetically until she called out that the coffee was ready.

—Jess' POV—

After tossing and turning all night I finally gave up on trying to sleep. I had just gotten out of the shower when Luke walked into the apartment. Throwing on my shirt, I went into the living room. "If you're here to talk about Rory, don't bother. I don't want to hear it."

He looked at me confused and sat at the table. "What happened with Rory? I just came here to ask how things went with the diner while I was out, but I can see now, that is the less important matter. What did you do?"

I shot him an angry glare. "Because it always has to be MY fault right? She's the town's god damn princess and I'm still the hoodlum ruining lives! I've changed, in fact I've stayed away from trying to be with her until I could change this much! I'm not that kid who runs away at the first sight of trouble! And I'll be damned if you and her continue to treat me like I cant handle adult situations!" I threw myself down onto the couch and gave a look of defeat. "She's pregnant. She's going to have a kid with that stupid jerk. That's not even what I got so mad about. I'm mad that she felt I couldn't handle that truth. How come nobody can tell that I'm a different person?" If I was the crying type, now would be the time I caved and did so. I felt like all my effort to be someone worthy of Rory and even of Luke, was wasted. They both still looked at me like I couldn't deal with shit.

"Jess… I'm sorry. Old habits and all that, ya know? I can see you've changed. Hell I asked you to come here in place of me didn't I? Rory can see it too, I'm sure. You've gotta give her a little on this one. She's probably scared, and I know she has to be hurting over the fact that dirt bag doesn't want the kid. You can't expect her to just be ok enough with her situation to start sharing it with everyone. That baby's own dad didn't want either of them, and you think she's just going to assume you will want her and a kid that's not yours?" I looked up at Luke, the only man who's ever been a type of father to me.

I let out my frustration in a groan. "What you're saying makes sense, I guess. It's just… I would've liked to have all the information from the start. I deserve to be treated like I won't run away. In the past, I know I made my mistakes of running, but I thought I had proved myself to be better." I sighed and looked down at my phone, expecting to have heard from her, but nothing. "It hurts, because when I yelled at her and walked away… she looked hurt as well, but not surprised. Like she was waiting for that reaction the whole time."

"Let me ask you something real quick. Let's say the day you got back into town, Rory came up to you and decided to confide in you that she was pregnant. Whatever happened this week between the two of you, would that information have changed your actions?" I stared at him, then threw on my jacket and headed to the door. "Where are you going?" He questioned a bit angrily.

"Out." Was my only response as I shut the door behind me.

—Rory's POV—

My mom had fallen asleep upstairs after a shower, and I was sitting on the porch sipping on my coffee. She had promised to try and stay awake for me, but she failed. Not that I minded, I needed some more time to think to myself. My phone was next to me, a text to jess, open and blank. Why couldn't I find anything to say to him, except 'please come over'.

"Everything that happened this week, my actions, they wouldn't have changed." I looked up at the sudden sound of jess' voice. He was stomping towards me as he yelled those words. "And everyone in this stupid town can hear me for all I care! I get that you're scared," he was now up on the porch looking directly at me, "and I get that asshole didn't want you two, but I want you! So don't hold his actions against me! Don't hold my past against me when I have changed! I know I ran before, but I'm not that guy. Who knows if I'm ready to be a dad. Hell, I just barely started taking care of myself properly. But I can tell you that I want you, Rory. And if that means I have to take on the fact that you're pregnant, I'm at least willing to try. You should've given me the chance to try!" His face started to look more and more sad, than angry. And my heart broke. He was right.

"You're right, Jess. You have changed so much, and I'm sorry I treated you as if you couldn't handle this." Tears poured down my cheeks. "I don't even know how I'm handling this, and all my insecurities built up against me telling you. But I should've known you weren't the same guy I used to know, that you wouldn't have ran away before discussing it fully with me. I'm so sorry."

He walked over to the porch swing and sat next to me, pulling my face towards his with his hand. He placed a soft kiss on my lips. "I don't know how we're going to do this, we're long distance and this is one hell of a start to a relationship, but I want to try." I've never heard him sound so sincere.

"I still want to take things slow, I don't want to mess things up with you anymore than I already have." I kissed him this time, slow and passionate. Letting my actions speak for my emotions. "I will apologize for this, for the rest of my life if I have to."

"The rest of you life, huh? Thought we were taking things slow." But he smirked and kissed my forehead. "There's lots of things we are going to have to talk about with this situation, but first and foremost, what did Logan say to you when you told him?" I was caught off guard by this question, though I could understand why he wanted more details.

"Well, there's so much more to him just not wanting to be apart of the baby's life, and I'm not defending him. It's just complicated…" I trailed off, thinking of how this next part would be a huge blow to my character is Jess' eyes. "You see, Logan is engaged to some heiress or someone fancy anyways. He caved in and started working for his dad in London, was properly introduced to a suitable woman, and is living a Huntzberger life. I kept telling myself it was ok, because he wasn't in love with Odette, his fiancé. But there I was, his side piece, for a while now. After I turned down his proposal at my graduation, he said it was all or nothing. I guess that statement proved to be false, when we reconnected in London. I had a lead for writing some book, but never dedicated myself to it. Once I started messing around with Logan, I only took the book offer to have a reason to be there." I looked over at Jess, his face was blank.

"Go on." No emotion is his voice, and I couldn't tell if that was a bad thing or not.

"Well we kept up the affair, Odette wasn't living with him yet, and once she moved in I started retracting myself from his life. I was feeling more and more like the mistress as I was put up in hotels, and cars were sent for me rather than us going places together. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks, when I called him the night of the wedding to tell him I was pregnant. Basically, he said that he was making his family proud and with his upcoming marriage he couldn't be around for me and the baby. Not that it makes up for anything, but he's offered to pay for medical bills and asked for me to update him on the progress of the pregnancy." A tear rolled down my face. "I've felt so lost, and its not an excuse I know, but I'm not that person. My actions with Logan don't define me, because deep down I know that's not who I am."

He nodded and took a deep breath. "I know its not you. I've told you before, you change with him. I'm not saying he's to blame for you taking part in an affair, but I am saying that I know you're not that person. Do I love the fact you did all that? No, it bugs the hell out of me. Here I am, working to be better for you, and you chose an ass instead."

"I did choose him, temporarily… but I'm coming to realize that everyone in between when I was seventeen and now, has only been filling in. I couldn't have known this way back then, and I couldn't have even known a year ago. It's one of those things you just have to experience to know. I had to be back around you emotionally, to see…"

"To see we fit together." He finished my thought with his words and I nodded. "You need to learn to trust that I won't run away, and that I can handle things better than when I was younger. Like I said, I don't know what I'm getting myself into, with a child being involved soon. But I think we can make this work." I leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder. "How involved do you want me to be with everything, with the pregnancy and stuff? I figure I should ask now."

I felt nervous, because I didn't know if he was trying to set boundaries or was just curious. I shrugged a shoulder. "I'm not sure how that will work. I definitely don't want to keep you in the dark until one day I call and be like 'it's happened, I'm a mom'. I'm just as new to all this as you are. You're going to have to tell me what you feel comfortable with in the beginning, and if we get more serious then I think its important you are involved a lot."

Jess sat there quietly, taking it all in, I'm sure. The silence was nerve wrecking, until he finally spoke up. "I know you'll have your mom and Luke, but I can be involved. Living farther away, it will be hard to come to all the appointments and milestones, but I want to be included. I know now you are a package deal here, and I'm ok with that."

I smiled, allowing myself to dream again of not doing this all alone. Picturing Jess in my life, and now I suppose my child's life as well. And it was a picture I would never tire of.

—This Is not the end of the story!! I still have a lot in mind and am still writing chapters!! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Sorry for the drama, but not really, Im not a fan of stories where all is well 24/7! Anyways, thanks again!—