AND WE'RE BACK AGAIN! YOU CAN CLAP ANYTIME YOU WANT.
HANA-01 + INUYONAS = WHAT PEIN'S DEVA PATH DID TO THE LEAF VILLAGE. (KONOHA).
PURE EPICNESS.
AND AS WE PROMISED THE LAST CHAPTER, THE MIZUKAGE KISSED AND OR MADEOUT WITH ANYONE WHO REVIEWED.
THE MIZUKAGE KISSED THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE:
ECHO UCHIHA- THE MIZUKAGE KISSES YOU BECAUSE YOU STICK WITH THE STORY AND REVIEW EVERY CHAPTER.
MAXRIDELOVER-THE MIZUKAGE KISSES YOU BECAUSE SHE LOVES TO RIDE...MAXES...IT MADE SENSE WHEN I FIRST THOUGHT OF IT.
YUTI-CHAN-THE MIZUKAGE KISSES YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! LOL YUR AWESOME. :)
AMARANTEOTAKU-THE MIZUKAGE RAPES YOU BECAUSE YOU LOOOOOOVE THIS STORY.
DCFAN100-THE MIZUKAGE KISSIES YOU BECAUSE SHE IS ALSO A DC FAN.
HYPNOTIC FLAMES-THE MIZUKAGE KISSES YOU BECAUSE YOU HYPNOTIZED HER WITH YOUR FLAMES.
MOLE WITH A TROLL UP HIS HOLE- THE MIZUKAGE KISSES YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR ECCENTRIC USERNAME...THEN OROCHIMARU SHOWS UP AND TELLS YOU: "YOUR'E GONNA NEED ALOT MORE THAN A TROLL TO FIT UP MY HOLE." AND THEN YOU RUN AWAY SCARED FOR YOUR LIFE.
Chapter 8
Shikamaru was walking around the crowd in the stadium and passing around folded sheets of paper. "What's this?" Kiba asked, snatching one and looking at it.
"Dunno…that old guy with the mask said I must pass it out…" Shikamaru said boredly.
"Who? Kakashi?"
"No you doofus, can't you see Kakashi is out there pitching? I meant the guy that started this troublesome tournament," Shikamaru said, giving Kiba all of the paper, "You go pass it out."
"You pass it out, you lazy ass!" Kiba gave it back to him.
"Make like a faithful little puppy and go give it out," Shikamaru shoved it back into Kiba's arms, some fell to the floor and were getting squashed and trampled.
Someone appeared between them and grabbed them both by their shirts and lifted them off the ground. "Now…I am already PISSED OFF because I spent two hours running these programs out in the photocopy machine which we somehow have in the ninja world, and the authors totally neglected to mention my greatness in the last chapter!"
Tsunade looked into the stands and saw that Madara was man-handling two of her team members. "Madara Uchiha! You get your hands off those boys right now!" Tsunade yelled.
Oooh say my name baby, I love how you say my name, thought Madara.
Madara dropped them both down, "Sorry 'hime, I was just telling them to – uh, not let you down in the next match…"
Meanwhile, Sasuke turned to Naruto, unaware of Kabuto standing behind him holding clippers in trembling hands.
"Blondes are really sexy…"
"For the last time, I'm not gay, Sasuke!"
"That's right, my bud Naruto here likes the bitches!" Hidan said.
Sakura's eyes lit up and she looked at Naruto.
"Sorry, I meant my bud Naruto here likes SEXY BITCHES," Hidan corrected himself.
"I wasn't talking about you Naruto," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes, "I meant Lady Tsunade."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Just pulling your leg dobe, don't look so shocked, you're cuter when you smile," Sasuke said, "Who I'm really talking about is Ino…"
Sakura noticed that Kabuto was standing and sweating a puddle behind Sasuke. "Oi Kabuto, what are doing there?" she asked.
Kabuto put his hands behind his back and looked ahead at the match where Karui had now come onto the field to hit for Team Awesome. "Nothing," he said in a high-pitched voice, "Just watching the match!"
"Really? You seem tense."
"The match is uh…captivating, nail-biting, and intense!"
When Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto were distracted again, Kabuto raised the clippers once again, took a step forward and grabbed hold of the back of Sasuke's hair where it stood up. He lowered the clippers, ready to cut off the hair.
Here I go Orochimaru-sama, I'm doing this for you, so you will finally love me like I love you. Oh Orochimaru-sama I would go to the ends of the Earth for you…and I won't stop there, I'd travel the edge of the galaxy for you, and I won't stop there, I would –
We interrupt that cheesy line of thought to bring to your attention, Kabuto about to be impaled by a chidori courtesy of Sasuke.
"How dare you attempt to cut MY hair? These soft, raven locks? My awesome - "
"Oh please, I was trying to do you a favour. Everyone makes fun of your hairstyle anyway," Kabuto spat, waking up.
"What? Wait, how are you still alive? I just ran a chidori through you!"
Kabuto laughed and held up something, "I deflected it with this."
Orochimaru's penis!
"Y-you mean, it can repel my chidori?"
Kabuto laughed again. "Yes. Yes it can."
"Shut the fuck up Kabuto, you gay excuse for a ninja," Hidan silenced him with a backhand.
"YOU YAOI BITCH!" Naruto backhanded him a second time.
"Why don't we take a recap of what has happened so far," Kisame said.
"That's a good idea, Kisame! Orochimaru why don't you do the recap?" Jiraiya said, turning to the snake-sannin. Orochimaru had his hand propped up on the desk with his head rested on it like a daydreaming schoolgirl. Jiraiya followed his trail of vision and saw that Orochimaru was gazing at Itachi who was standing at his position on the field with his arms folded and a superior look on his face.
"Oh…um, never mind then, I'll just do the recap. Team Awesome currently have 2 points and have 2 outs , we have Ino at first base-"
"I'd love to get to first base with Ino, what do you say Naruto?" Sasuke said with a smirk. Naruto was seething and had his fists clenched tightly.
"Why are you being so perverted, Sasuke-kun?" asked Sakura.
"Why are you still existing, Sakura?" Sasuke retaliated.
Ino was standing at second base with her hands on her hips while Suigetsu was staring at her and slowly melting into a puddle of water.
Kakashi pitched a raikiri charged ball towards Karui. She swung widely and Chojuro had to pull a Neo from the matrix manoeuvre so he didn't get clubbed across the face.
"Strike one." Tsunade said without enthusiasm because she was so used to saying it.
Kakashi pitched again with astounding speed. Karui swung widely again but this time the bat flew out of her grip and soared towards Itachi, whacking him in the groin.
"Oh! Right there in the babymaker! That's gotta hurt," Jiraiya exclaimed.
"OH MY GOD! IS MY ITACHI-KUN ALRIGHT? I'VE GOT TO GO THERE AND EXAMINE HIM TO SEE IF HE'S OKAY!" Orochimaru shrieked as both Jiraiya and Kisame tried to restrain him from jumping out of the announcers booth…which was about 200m from the ground.
If Itachi was in any pain, he didn't show it, he just bent over and picked up the bat and threw it back to Karui. "If Orochimaru comes within 2 feet of me I will kick his ass till his nose bleeds."
Orochimaru was still hysterical in the announcers booth, thrashing around and screaming and knocking out one of Kisame's molars, "I have to get my hands on that bat! It touched Itachi's groin!"
"You nasty mofo, you need to be institutionalised you know that," Kisame said.
Karui gripped the bat tightly this time as she faced Kakashi's third ball.
She swung.
And hit!
"Whoop!" she said tossing the bat and ran towards first base.
Ino was running around the bases as fast as she could towards home.
The ball was still in the air soaring past Tayuya but suddenly a tall, dark-haired, handsome, object of Orochimaru and so many fan-girls' fantasies appeared and caught the ball. Kakashi flashed Itachi a thumbs up, "Nice work."
"Nothing can get passed the eyes of an Uchiha." Itachi said.
"Aww hell!" Karui yelled.
"That was a good hit. Only a really good ninja could have seen that ball coming…guess that's why Tayuya couldn't see it," Itachi remarked.
"At least I didn't get a bat to my balls," Tayuya shot back.
"Oh don't worry. You will. "
"Wow," Sasuke said breathlessly as they had just witnessed Ino slide in that really, really short skirt to home base. Naruto was getting furious and Sasuke was enjoying getting on the blond boys last nerve, it was a while since he had the opportunity to do that.
"Now I just may reconsider coming back to Konoha, just for a little of that," Sasuke said, watching Naruto rage out of the corner of his eye.
"That's it! If you dare set foot in Konoha I'll toss you right back out!" Naruto yelled, not even sure why he was getting so angry.
"Aww Dobe, but you wanted me back so badly…"
"That was before you became all perverted!"
"Is that really the reason? Or is it because I have my eye on Ino?"
Naruto looked at the pretty blond girl who was being congratulated by her teammates. 'Hmm, well we do have some things in common…she has blond hair, I have blond hair. She has blue eyes, I have blue eyes. She's loud and I'm loud. She's hot and I'm hot. Damn, we are a match made in heaven! But what about Hinata?'
"All right! Get ready ladies and gents, because the Epic Team is about to hit next after a small word from our sponsor – hey!"
Madara jacked the microphone from Jiraiya, "Hello Ninja's, it is I, Uchiha Madara, Madara Uchiha, however you want to say it. I'd like to just take a moment of your time and direct your attention towards the program which I have painstakingly designed for this tournament."
"This thing?" Asuma asked, he was about to roll it up and smoke it.
"What's a ninja egg and spoon race?" Deidara asked.
"Beats me," Nagato said.
"Better keep those safe because there's a number on it which will be used for a lucky draw," Madara announced.
"Mine is number 69, sweet," Hidan said, grinning.
"And that was our sponsor, now back to the game. Team Awesome is making their way out onto the field," Kisame said as Team Awesome filed out and took their positions on the field.
Ino took first base, Tenten took second base, Zetsu took third base, Kimimaro was in the outfield between first and second, Omoi was in the outfield between second and third, Kurotsuchi was the catcher, Kurenai was pitching and Karui stood near the pitcher.
"Let's go team Awesome!" The Mizukage yelled from the dugout.
"And it looks like Team Awesome is in the outfield now." Jiraiya said.
The Tsuchikage was speaking to his team in the dugout.
"Ok well all of you are young people whom I don't get along with. I dislike every one of you but as a ninja I will set aside my differences and work with you. Now as far as hitting first I think-"
"Excuse me Tsuchikage-sama I don't mean to be rude but I feel as though I know who should hit first better than you." Itachi interrupted.
"You young people have no respect! In my day if you interrupted someone older than you your clan was killed."
"Oh no. I would sooooo not want that." Itachi said sarcastically.
Sasori walked to home plate with a bat in hand.
"And it looks like the infamous puppet master from Suna is up to bat first." Kisame said.
"Any thoughts on how Epic team will do batting Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked.
"..."
"Orochimaru?"
Jiraiya looked over to Orochimaru's chair.
No one was in it. Only a pair of pants were in it.
Kisame turned around and looked behind him to the door to the announcer's booth.
It was wide open.
"Orochimaru is gone."
"So it seems Kisame."
Silenced ensued for about 10 seconds..until...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"OMG!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"WTF!"
"FTW!"
"TFW!"
"TWF!"
"WFT!"
"OROCHIMARU IS LOOSE!"
"OROCHIMARU IS ON THE F'KIN LOOSE!"
"ATTENTION ALL SHINOBI! A KAGE LEVEL SANNIN WITH HOMICIDAL TENDENCIES IS ON THE LOOSE IN THE STADIUM!"
"AND HE WANTS YOUR ASSES!"
The stadium erupted in chaos!
"Holy balls! Orochimaru is on the loose!"
"Oh no!"
"He's gonna rape me!"
"Honestly I think you will be fine."
"The dobe is right. He only likes boys."
"Well shit, if that's the case then...SAKURA YOU BITCH, YOU ARE IN GRAVE DANGER!"
"Shut up Hidan."
"Did someone say Gravy danger?"
"Chouji you are so troublesome."
"Did someone say trouble some?"
"Put your fan down Temari."
"I'll protect myself using the cork from my sand gourd."
"And where pray tell, where will you be putting that cork Gaara?"
"It won't make a difference Gaa-kun, kukukuku."
O_O
AN- WHAT WILL BECOME OF GAARA!
WILL OROCHIMARU EVER BE CAUGHT?
WILL TEAM AWESOME WIN? OR EPIC TEAM?
REVIEW AND WE'LL SEND YOU THE BAT THAT TOUCHED ITACHI'S GROIN!
