AN:// DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Akatsuki. DD:

Tobi stood over the stove, staring at it expectantly. He was alone in the kitchen, spatula in hand and a frying pan in the other.
It was his first time attempting to cook for the Akatsuki, and poor Tobi was utterly clueless.

He turned the stove on, and set the pan down on it.
"...Now what?" He said to himself.
He snapped his fingers. "Oooh, I know! Now to put it all together."
Tobi skipped to a random cabinet and tossed everything out of it.
First he took off his sock and set it on the pan. Then he grabbed eggs, olives, and many other odd foods in his arms and dumped them on the frying pan.
"Tobi is a master chef!" He said merrily.

------------Later That Night----------------------

The Akatsuki sat around the dinner table, all shifting uneasily in their seats. Hidan was praying and Deidara kept muttering to himself.
Tobi kicked open the door. "Dinner is served!" He screeched, plopping down a plate with a cover over it.
He yanked the cover off of the plate, only to get horrified gasps from the others.

Sitting on the table was some purple blob. A shoe stuck out of part of it, and a tentacle from another.
A golf club was also lodged on top of the blob.
"Eat up!" Tobi said, plopping portions of the massive blob onto everyone's plate.

One of Deidara's hand-mouths threw up.
"You can't expect me to eat that!" Deidara yelled, scooting his chair away from the table.
"Beggars can't be choosers." Pein said calmly.
Hidan grabbed a fork. "For Jashin-sama!" He yelled, scooping up a bit of the blob and shoving it into his mouth.
The Akatsuki watched in fascinated silence.
Hidan gulped down the food.He was silent for a moment.
"Well...?" Kakuzu asked. Hidan tipped over.
Kakuzu stared at him.
"Nice job, Tobi. You killed Hidan."

Hidan pulled himself back up.
"Wait, nope, he's alive again." Kakuzu said with a hint of sadness in his tone.
Hidan coughed up a lightbulb.
"What the hell did you put in this thing!?" He hissed.
Tobi shrugged.
Konan slowly lifted a sock from the blob.She dropped it.
"Tobi, you're not allowed to cook anymore." Pein said.
"But"
"No"
"Awwww!" Tobi sighed and sadly shuffled out of the room.
"Deidara, order Pizza. And Itachi, this time, don't kill the pizza man, please." Pein said.

AN/
DDD: Sorry again for the suckiness and lack of updating. 83 I just finished Science Fair, so I'll be updating a ton more, hopefully. :D

:/ I was bored when I did this. x3; Yeah...8DDDDDD Please review. :D