Author's Note: I'm late. Very very late. Like is anyone still reading this story, late. :-/
So this isn't really a new chapter, but I did add a very long scene, and cut out most an old one, on a very good piece of advice from the lovely reveiwer, Bridmatt. Thank you, and you were totally right. :-)
Thank you for all your kind reviews. I listen to every critique.
Without further ado, a slightly revamped Chapter Eight:
Chapter Eight
The walk of shame was by no means unfamiliar to one Uchiha Sasuke. He was pleased to discover, however, that there weren't too many other shamers out there at the crack of dawn on a frigid Friday morning. He snagged that perfect six AM bus that left him only a hundred metres from his apartment. It was a good thing, too. The activities of the night before had left him aching, walking with an obvious limp in his gait. While this was also not terribly unusual, for some reason, Juugo's roughness had left him feeling uneasy about the night they shared. He shook it off, stifled a yawn, and tiptoed to his door, careful not to disturb his slumbering neighbours.
He pushed inside and came to a dramatic halt. Naruto was passed out on the couch, a fluffy orange cat tucked into his arms. If he weren't so annoyed with Naruto at the moment (or more specifically, his reaction thereto), he would have found it endearing. He was snoring softly, but he hadn't been asleep long, if the open laptop on the coffee table, still streaming some stupid sitcom, was any indication.
The thought that Naruto might have been waiting up for him sent a wave of butterflies wafting through his stomach. He murdered them instantly. What kind of right did Naruto have to concern himself with the hours he kept? With a roll of his eyes, Sasuke shed his coat and closed and locked the door behind him.
Kyuubi, ever the sweet and helpful lump of fat, chose that very moment to sneeze, right in Naruto's face.
The man snorted awake.
"Aww, what the hell Kyu." He whined through his yawn.
Sasuke could hear one solitary purr, even across the room.
He froze mid-step as Naruto groaned and sat up, one tan hand running though his snaggly blond locks.
"S'ke?" He slurred, squinting into the dark.
Sasuke glared at him, though it dawned on him that Naruto probably couldn't see his expression.
"Clearly, dumbass." He bit. "Who else?"
Naruto stood on unsteady feet, hoisting his fluff ball over his shoulder.
"How was your night?" The man asked cheerfully, but Sasuke could hear the strain that caused his voice to waver. "Hope you had a good time." He prompted.
Sasuke didn't respond. A large part of himself wanted to confide his troubles in the other man, maybe get some perspective. He couldn't – not it he wanted to maintain some emotional space. Now that Naruto was close enough, he peered at him from under his eyebrows in a glare that told the blond that his evening was not a topic up for conversation.
Naruto frowned, rolled his eyes, and shuffled toward his bedroom door.
"Oh, hey!" He paused, balancing the cat as he turned. "'Tachi called. Wants you to call him back."
Sasuke put one hand on his hip. He found a lingering shred of anger and pulled it out of his veins, letting it cloak his tongue with ugly, black words.
"Why the hell did Itachi call you?" He demanded.
"Ah." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "He didn't. You left you cell phone here, so..."
"So he could have left a message." Sasuke snapped. "Do you think it's OK to answer my mobile phone?"
Naruto winced, and Sasuke bit back the urge to take back his words.
"Sorry, I thought it could be important." He explained, scratching his ankle with his toe. "And I haven't talked to him in a really long time, and…"
"And what?" Sasuke interrupted.
Naruto backed away, blue eyes wide.
"If Itachi wanted to talk to you, he'd call you."
Sasuke tried to ignore how vulnerable Naruto looked in that very moment. He bit the inside of his cheek.
"I'm sorry Sasuke, I didn't realise..." He stuttered.
"Don't shove yourself into our lives, moron. He's not your brother."
This should be just about that tipping point at which Naruto would tell him to go fuck himself, slam his bedroom door, and refuse to speak to him for at least three hours. Sasuke frowned. It wasn't happening. His idiot was just standing there looking heartbroken.
"I mean Jesus Christ, dumbass. Haven't you ever heard of a little space?" He continued.
Almost there. He watched Naruto's eyes flicker.
"Why do you have to be so damn clingy? You're just going to end up all alone."
He waited with pinched lips for the angry retort that would never happen. All expression fell from Naruto's face as though he had flipped a switch.
"I'm sorry, Uchiha." It was an earnest, but monotone apology. "It won't happen again."
That blank, dead-eyed expression looked so foreign on Naruto's bright face, and Sasuke found it disturbing. More disturbing, Sasuke thought, was how easily the other man could switch off his emotions. He knew from experience that such a feat took practice, and lots of it. Despite that fact, it was something Sasuke had never once seen cross those blue eyes.
The man slipped silently through his door.
"Naruto, wait." Sasuke called, with his heart in his toes, but the man's door had already clicked behind him.
Sasuke felt a chill in his heart that cocooned his chest with tiny fingers.
"Fuck." He swore silently, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.
There were parts of himself that Naruto hid from the world, even from Sasuke. Parts that belonged to that painful past that Sasuke wasn't privy to, and all on account of himself. Naruto was a bright, sunny ball of cheer and everything nice. He wasn't supposed to have any darkness inside of him. He wasn't supposed to be insecure or timid, nor apologise when Sasuke was being an asshole. Finding Naruto so terribly human was shocking.
He'd done a swell job of vilifying his flatmate these days, calling him out for being distant, as though he had done nothing to push the idiot away. It was a miracle Naruto still hung around.
Feeling incredibly juvenile, he flopped onto the very spot on the couch his flatmate had just vacated. The man's warmth still lingered, and the pillow smelt of lavender and that musky lime aftershave Naruto liked to use.
Sasuke was such a destructive person. He only wanted a little emotional space. He scrubbed at his face. Sometimes, he felt like his annoying, immature best friend was the only one who had done any growing up in the past decade.
"Fuck." He repeated.
At the other end of the apartment, Naruto lie face first on his bed, feeling like the air had gone out of the room. He gripped his pillow in silent sobs, feeling every bit as worthless as Sasuke had once called him.
There he'd gone and pushed everyone away again.
Naruto bit his pillow to keep from sobbing. He wanted to disappear. A loneliness he hadn't felt in years began to consume him. His fingers itched to do something.
No.
He took a shuddering breath.
He wasn't alone.
Iruka's gentle smile flashed in front of his eyes. It wasn't like before. Genma popped up beside him with his stupid, superior smirk. Then there was Kiba's grinning face, and Nara and his fiancée, and not the least of which Gaara. Shizune Kato, and maybe even Kakashi and Tsunade. The faces of his family and friends streamed by in a whirlwind of colours and smiles.
He could do this. He didn't have to hurt himself. He could do this. Even if it was just one breath at a time.
Uchiha Sasuke faced his first day of kindergarten with a brave face. It wasn't every day a child moved to a new country – a new continent, but he promised his brother he wouldn't cry. Probably.
His mother kissed his cheek in the principal's office and wished him well. He then caught sight of the biggest pair of watery blue eyes he'd ever seen watching their interaction – not that he'd seen too many pairs of blue eyes at that point, but they were stunning nonetheless. He quickly pushed his mom away and wiped the kiss from his cheek.
She smiled and greeted the newcomer in English. The boy returned her greeting with vigour to spare, his sad look melted into the brightest smile he'd ever seen.
"Sasuke." His mother nudged him forward with her knee. "Introduce yourself."
The little boy beat him to the punch.
"I'm Naruto!" He chirped.
He then bumbled on about a mile a minute, exactly zero of which Sasuke understood. He paused, obviously expecting Sasuke to say something. The tiny Uchiha gave his mother a bewildered look.
"Your name." She translated.
"Sasuke." He muttered, glaring at a stain on the carpet.
Naruto grabbed his hand and marched them off to their classroom, the principal on their heels. Sasuke snatched his hand back in front of the door.
"Itai!" He snapped, rubbing his wrist. Ouch!
The scrawny boy must have caught his drift, because he responded with a sheepish look and a "Sorry!" One of the few words Sasuke knew.
"Dobe." He muttered under his breath.
Their teacher was a smiley woman with crooked teeth. She introduced them to the class, then directed them to the empty desk in the corner. Or that's what Sasuke gathered, as Naruto seized his hand and pulled him – more gently this time – to the desk and plopped down.
Apparently it was Naruto's first day too. The sunny little boy looked a little lost himself most of the time. The teacher explained everything to the two. Naruto simply pulled Sasuke along and did everything for him. By the third day, when Sasuke could pick his own milk up from the cooler, thank you very much, he was torn between wishing the kid would just leave him alone, and being glad there was someone looking out for him – even if it was a noisy, little twerp.
On day five, Sasuke learnt the phrase, "Go away."
Naruto looked like he'd kicked his puppy. His lip quivered and he stomped away, joining the other kids in their game of tag.
As the other little boy's laughter lit up the playground, Sasuke felt like he couldn't breathe. He rested his chin on his knees, and tried to appreciate his quiet little corner for once. Even though the boy couldn't understand very much, Naruto talked to him constantly. He'd pause sometimes, waiting for a reply, simply to continue to fill the silence like nothing happened. He was pretty sure the other kids thought he was stupid. Naruto, too, probably, even though he didn't show it.
"Dobe." He muttered, again.
Naruto didn't talk to him again for the rest of recess.
The bell rang, and the troupe of kindergartners had to line up with their buddies to trudge back to their classroom. Naruto took their place at the end of the line, but didn't grab his hand.
Sasuke frowned. Naruto always took his hand.
One of the boys asked him a question. Probably something about why he didn't join the rest of the class in their game.
"Sasuke's mean." A girl with pigtails concluded.
The tiny Uchiha understood the word mean. He chewed on the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. They couldn't understand him anyway. How could he explain to any of them know how it felt to be completely uprooted? He hardly had the words to express himself in Japanese. He just knew he felt… lost.
"He's not mean." Naruto defended.
Sasuke turned to see Naruto standing defiantly, his little chest puffed out.
"He's just really shy."
Naruto kept speaking, but Sasuke didn't catch whatever it was. It must have worked however, because the sea of tiny, angry faces turned sympathetic. The teacher blew her whistle, and the kids toddled toward the school, two by two, their conversation completely forgotten. The little, blue-eyed boy marched ahead, his eyes trained forward.
Sasuke looked at the boy's little hand. His eyes dropped to the sidewalk, and he silently slipped his fingers between the tanned ones. He clenched his teeth, waiting for the other boy to rip his hand back. He knew he would have. He heard the boy suck in his breath.
"You are a little mean sometimes." Naruto muttered, but he didn't pull his hand away.
Sasuke heaved a giant breath, chewing on his thumbnail.
"I…" He paused. "I know."
"Boys, be quiet." The teacher scolded.
"Sasuke started it!" Naruto accused.
"Did not!"
"I don't care. Naruto, be quiet." She chided. "Sasuke," and her words were lost in a tumbling mess.
Naruto waited until she turned back around to pull Sasuke's thumb out of his mouth.
On day fourteen, Sasuke got a fever. It was a bad one, and he didn't go to school on day fifteen either. He hoped Naruto was doing all right. The boy could talk to anyone for hours, but he was so much littler than everyone, that sometimes the other kids picked on him. In the late afternoon, he heard a knock on his bedroom door.
He was stunned to see a shock of blond hair sticking out from behind a pile of books. Itachi had his hand on his shoulder, nudging the little boy forward.
"Go on." He urged.
Naruto set the books on Sasuke's desk.
"Um…" he began, turning a little red. "Odaijini?" Take care.
His pronunciation was a little funny, but close enough. Sasuke had to collect his chin from his pillow. He scooted over a little, so Naruto could join him on his bed. He squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could. He didn't know why his chest felt like it was about to burst, and it was making his eyes burn. Sasuke refused to cry with his older brother in the doorway.
"Why?" He squeezed out.
"Why, what?" Naruto looked genuinely confused.
Sasuke shrugged. "Just why?"
The blond's little face lit up. "Because you're my best friend."
Sasuke couldn't contain his tears anymore, and he buried his face in Naruto's shoulder.
"Hey Itachi." Naruto asked. "What does dobe mean?"
His brother laughed and Sasuke punched his new best friend in the stomach.
On roughly day thirty, though Sasuke had nearly lost count by this time, their class made Mother's Day cards. The teacher wrote "Happy Mother's Day" on the board, and told them they could draw whatever they wanted. He was almost finished with his card when he was certain he heard Naruto sniffling.
"Are you OK?" He whispered.
The little boy nodded, but didn't look up.
Their teacher crept towards their desk. "Naruto, sweetie," she prodded. "What's wrong?"
She carefully pulled his card from beneath his head. She made a choking noise when she opened the card. She scooped the sobbing boy into her arms.
"We'll be right back." She said in an overly sweet tone, her feet halfway to the door. "Keep working on your cards and stay quiet." She ordered.
The card fluttered back onto their desk. Sasuke picked it up. On the front was crudely drawn picture of a woman with red hair – literally red – flying wildly around half the page. Her smile was bigger than her face. Sasuke had never met Naruto's mother, but he wouldn't be surprised to find that to be a rather astute likeness of that smile.
Even Sasuke's heart broke when he opened the bright orange card. Inside was drawn a grey rectangle that said Mommy in the black block letters he'd copied from the board. He wrote 'I MIS YOU,' turning the O into a big, red flower. Sasuke had never been to a western cemetery, but it wasn't difficult for him to understand the picture. He felt his own eyes burning.
"Was Naruto crying?" Someone asked.
"Yeah," a little girl responded. "He's such a baby."
There was a murmur of agreement through the class.
"Shut up!" Sasuke demanded.
The class turned to face him with open mouths.
"You'd cry too if your Mommy died."
The class had never head Sasuke speak so many words in a row before. They sat in shocked silence, probably surprised the boy could speak at all.
"You'd probably cry every day." Sasuke continued, clutching the card to his chest. "And he's almost always smiling."
Naruto didn't return to class until recess.
The little girl who insulted him approached with her hands shoved in her pockets.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I'm sorry you don't have a mommy anymore."
"It's OK." He gave her a sad smile. "My godfather is pretty cool."
"Are you OK?" Sasuke asked, glaring at the little girl until she ran away.
Naruto plopped down in the sandbox and smiled up at his friend.
"Yeah." Naruto drew circles in the sand "They gave me ice cream."
"Yuck."
"You're weird." The blond boy accused.
Sasuke shrugged.
Naruto was silent for a moment. "Chouji told me what you said."
Sasuke could feel his cheeks heating.
"Sasuke," Naruto asked. "How do you say 'best friend' in Japanese?"
"Shin'yuu." Sasuke smirked. "But it's better if I call you usuratonkachi."
Sasuke awoke late for the second time in as many days. He threw the blanket to the floor and hopped to his feet. Wait, blanket? He blinked. Jesus Christ, even when Sasuke was being an asshole, his flatmate couldn't avoid being the nicest human being on the planet. Some kind of masochist or something.
Sasuke rushed through the empty apartment, throwing one longing look at the shower. He snagged his cell phone from its resting place on the coffee table, noticing for the first time the empty bottle of Jack on the otherwise innocent table top. He winced. Naruto didn't usually whip out the old Tennessee sour mash unless he was really feeling gloomy.
Damn. As if he needed to feel worse about his behaviour. With a heavy sigh, he trudged out the door to start his day.
Some six hours later, Sasuke sat in his office, running his fingertips over his mobile phone for the twentieth time in the past half hour. Normally, when he and his flatmate had a disagreement, Naruto would send him a chipper text. He would ask about dinner or some other inane topic, just to let him know he was forgiven, and proceed to bombard him with his usual nonsense about every quarter of an hour. Today, however, Sasuke's phone remained eerily silent. He'd have to make amends this time, and he doubted a text about lasagne was going to cut it.
With a sigh, he closed his textbook, clearly unable to absorb any of the information therein. He prayed for anything to distract him from the monotony that was Friday afternoon office hours.
His prayer was answered not three seconds later, when his office door swung open, although the dramatic entrance to the story of Ino Yamanaka was not exactly what he had in mind. She was small and blonde and cute and happy, and probably would have made a perfect girlfriend for Naruto in another life. He glared at her, not because she would have looked so cute hanging on his flatmate's arm, but rather because of the person's arm whom she did often cling to: Sakura Haruno. Not like that, you perverts, they were best friends – worst rivals, and besides, Ino was dating an aspiring chef called Chouji.
"Don't give me that look, Uchiha!" She demanded, stretching to her full, five foot three and three quarters. "I know I'm a gossip, but I swear I'm not engaging in any espionage here."
He peered at her from under his eyebrows.
She plopped on his desk, right on top of a stack of his meticulously organised note cards.
"Sakura won't even know I'm here." She continued. "I'm honestly just worried about Naruto."
Sasuke blinked.
"Well, you know..." She looked a little sheepish. "Sakura let on that Naruto can have some pretty low lows, if you know what I mean."
Sasuke didn't know what she meant.
"I though I'd drop by and check on him, but he wasn't in his office, and he's not answering his phone..."
Sasuke raised one eyebrow.
"I thought he might be here, but at the very least you'd know how he's doing."
She raised her own pretty, little eyebrows, waiting not-so-patiently for Sasuke's response. She must have sensed his confusion, not that he was making any effort to conceal it, because she gave him a dramatic deadpan.
"He didn't tell you."
Sasuke felt as though the world were suddenly spinning very fast.
"Tell me what?"
Ino shot him a toothy grin. "You know, I should really go."
She inched toward the door, but Sasuke made a grab for her slim shoulder.
"Tell me what, Yamanaka?" Sasuke repeated with a little chill in his voice.
"Look, Uchiha, if he didn't tell you last night, that's his business. I'm not really in any position to say."
"I didn't go home last night." Sasuke interrupted.
It wasn't entirely a lie.
"Oh." Ino sighed, casting a furtive glance at the door.
She swept her long, flaxen locks out of her eyes, and let them settle softly in the exact same position. She bit her lip and sighed again.
"Jesus, no wonder people think I'm a gossip." She muttered. "And if he gets mad at me for telling, you'd better say it was under duress!"
"Just tell me already." Sasuke snapped.
"Fine, fine!" She huffed. "Naruto broke it off with Sakura last night."
Sasuke froze, his hand slipped from Ino's shoulder. Well that was unexpected.
He felt something ugly coiling in his stomach, and it felt a lot like shame. At least it explained the Jack.
"Wait." He looked at Ino sideways. "He broke up with her?"
"Apparently." The young woman shrugged. "Sakura's still in shock. She didn't even come to class today."
Sasuke frowned, dialing Naruto's number without a second thought.
"Hi!" Naruto's friendly voice greeted him.
Sasuke was about to speak when the voice continued. "Most likely, I'm either asleep, or I've lost my phone again. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you!"
He clicked off the call and shook his head, feeling sick to his stomach.
"Well, I guess I'll head to Kiba's pub." Ino suggested. "He works early on Fridays."
"I'll go." Sasuke responded, shoving his belongings in his bag.
Ino pursed her lips.
"Yeah." She relented. "He probably doesn't want to see me anyway. Let me know when you find him, will you?"
Sasuke nodded and hurried out the door, futility calling the man's phone again, just for good measure. He made it to Naruto's favourite bar in record time, even after swinging by the gym on the way. He heaved a massive breath as he entered the building, thankful he worked out on a regular basis.
A slim, shaggy-looking bartender looked up from the textbook he was reading. He pushed his wild brown hair away from his eyes.
"Uchiha." He greeted with a canine smile. "What can I do you for?"
Sasuke's eyes swept the near-empty pub. No sign of blond hair anywhere.
"You haven't seen Naruto, have you?"
Kiba frowned.
"I sure haven't." He rummaged under the bar for his phone. "What's up?"
Sasuke sighed, no wonder gossip could travel so fast.
"Is something wrong?" The other man prodded.
The Uchiha heaved a shrug.
"He and Sakura broke up." He replied simply. "He isn't answering my calls. I was worried."
Kiba's chin practically dropped to the wooden counter. He seized phone.
Sasuke's heart hammered in his ears and his anxiety mounted.
The other man shook his head. "No answer."
Sasuke's heart dropped to his toes, his brain scrambling for ideas.
That park with the swans and the tacky gazebo? He could even be back at the apartment by now. Maybe he'd gone home-home for the weekend?
For the first time ever he wished he had Iruka's mobile phone number.
"Ah, there we go." Kiba said several moments later. "He's sent a text."
"Did he say where he was?"
Sasuke couldn't keep the edge of panic from his voice. He decided he didn't care.
"He did." The man replied.
Sasuke gave him an imploring look.
"He's fine." Kiba coughed and scratched the back of his head. "But, you wouldn't happen to know anything about this text I received this morning?"
Kiba scrolled through his phone and flashed the screen in front of his face.
Hey bro, can I crash on your couch for a couple of days next week? Driving my flatmate batty.
Sasuke felt himself wincing. It wasn't normal for Naruto to actually give him physical space. He wondered if he hadn't already done irreparable damage to their friendship.
"Look, Uchiha." Kiba began. "I know we don't know each other very well, but Naruto's like a brother to me."
Kiba dropped his elbows against the bar.
"It's not that I care that he stays over when you two fight, but you don't see how much it upsets him."
"I'm trying to apologise." Sasuke sighed. "I can't do that if I don't know where he is."
"Just remember." Kiba pursed his lips. "Naruto's got an enormous heart, Uchiha, and a big piece of it's for you. You'd better damn well appreciate it."
Fifteen minutes later found Sasuke bursting through the library doors. The student worker behind the front desk sent him a scathing look – which he patently ignored. He poked around the towering shelves until he found the blond in question, tucked away into a secluded corner behind the philosophy stacks.
He had his textbooks spread across the table, his laptop roaring, and a notebook out, but he didn't look like it was doing much good. At the precise moment that Sasuke rounded the corner, Naruto was attempting to balance a fat, green highlighter vertically on his nose.
Relief washed through him, and he couldn't stop the smile that clawed its way to his lips. Damn, he had it bad. He could already feel the warmth returning to his toes.
He sat down gingerly in the chair across from Naruto. Those brilliant eyes met his. The highlighter dropped to the table, the click swallowed by the tomes of books and the ugly, ancient carpet.
Naruto's face remained blank and Sasuke felt some of that panic resurface.
"I'm..." Sasuke cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."
There, that wasn't so bad.
"You don't have to be sorry for something you meant."
Naruto's voice was neutral. Sasuke felt that familiar cold leaking into his bones.
"But I didn't." Was his voice shaking? "I didn't mean it. I had a bad night. I took it out on you. I know it doesn't excuse what I said, but for what it's worth, you didn't deserve it."
Naruto gave him a dead look.
"Please Uchiha. It's not like it's the first time you've told me to bugger off."
The man began packing his things into his backpack.
"I get it. I'm too much. I'll leave you alone."
This could be it, Sasuke realised. If he didn't fix it now, this could be that life-changing moment in which Naruto waltzed away forever.
Sasuke gripped a tan wrist. He realised for the first time that Naruto was trembling as well.
"You are too much, Naruto."
He raised his eyes to meet watery blue. His grip tightened as the other man attempted to yank his arm away.
"But so are Itachi, Karin, Suigetsu, and Kakashi." He continued. "And that's the grand total of people on this Earth who give a damn about me."
Naruto cocked his head, as though he were afraid to hope. He was positively adorable.
"Naruto, I..." Sasuke paused, brow furrowing.
What the fuck was he going to say?
'I know you're straight, but let me try to change that.' 'I fear you're the reason I wake up in the morning?' Or god forbid, 'I love you.'
Sasuke shook his head with a bitter snort. Yeah, that wasn't out of character.
"Without annoying, stubborn, intrusive people, I'd be alone."
He watched his flatmate deflate.
"That's got to be the shittiest apology I've ever heard."
Sasuke felt his lips curling upward, reflecting the gentle grin his flatmate was giving him.
He shrugged. "As I remember, you declared me your best friend, not the other way around. You've only got yourself to blame."
Naruto's posture loosened and his hands seemed to have lost the majority of their tremor.
"I was five, I didn't know what I was getting into."
Sasuke only offered another shrug.
"I'm pretty sure I told you to fuck off then, too." He defended.
Naruto responded with a dramatic roll of his eyes.
"You only spoke Japanese. How the hell was I supposed to know what you were saying?"
The man finished dumping his belongings into his bag and stood, pulling Sasuke to his feet. The Uchiha looked into those wide, blue eyes, noticing for the first time the exhaustion that was etched deep inside. Sasuke's fingers gripped his flatmate's shoulder.
"You're not alone." He mumbled, sincere and embarrassed.
He averted his eyes. This was the apology he so articulately failed to convey earlier.
"You'll never be alone." Sasuke continued, hoping Naruto would catch his drift without actually having to voice it.
He suddenly found himself engulfed in Naruto's bulky arms. The man pressed his face into his neck, and he could feel his silent tears sliding against his skin. A sharp tinge of shame twisted at the base of his spine, knowing that those tears weren't just for Sakura. He wrapped his arms around his big idiot with a heavy sigh.
"Come on, moron." Sasuke brushed him off. "I still have Love Actually on my computer, from when you forced me to download it at Christmas."
Naruto gave him a bewildered look.
"That's your thing, right?" Sasuke shrugged, embarrassment burning on his cheeks. "Sappy movies and ice cream."
The other man nodded, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve.
"Well, I refuse to watch any other romantic comedy not directed by Woody Allen." Sasuke huffed. "Although I still think your way of grieving is terribly girly."
Naruto snorted.
"I learnt how to deal with grief from girls." He huffed back. "And Woody Allen isn't even funny."
Sasuke gave him his favourite superior smirk and turned on his heal, tugging his flatmate along by his hand.
"He is funny, in a cerebral kind of way."
"That defeats the point of comedy, damnit!"
That emotional equilibrium seemed much less important now. Besides, he'd once gone half a world away to avoid this man. If half of the Earth couldn't keep the idiot from his mind, he wasn't sure anything could.
Sasuke pushed through the heavy library doors and into the cool winter's afternoon. The air was crisp, but the sky bright, and the snow had nearly melted. Winter was far from over, but a wash of spring hung in the air. He pinched back a genuine smile. If Naruto noticed they were all but holding hands as Sasuke marched him across campus, he certainly wasn't protesting. A warmth bubbled inside of his chest that spread to the very tips of his toes.
It was the crick in his neck that aroused Naruto from his dead slumber. His whole body ached, and he felt sick and empty inside.
Right.
It's funny how your body knows you're heartbroken even before your brain has time to catch up.
He let escape a wide yawn, and snuggled into that warm and fuzzy something that smelled exactly like Sasuke.
Wait.
What?
His eyes flew open. He found himself rolled up on the couch, his head resting on a pillow in his flatmate's lap. He'd somehow even snuggled his nose right into Sasuke's navel.
He yawed again. The last thing he remembered was Sasuke putting on the film. Exhaustion had apparently overwhelmed him and he collapsed face first into a –very comfortable actually – woollen sweater. If he weren't so out of it, Naruto might have had the decency to blush.
He peaked hesitantly up at Sasuke. The man, with his feet kicked up on the coffee table, had his nose stuck in a book, blissfully unaware of his observer down below. It was nice, this spot in his flatmate's lap. Sasuke had one arm slung casually across his back, moving ever so slightly, just to turn the pages. It almost felt like Sasuke was holding him. The thought made Naruto feel uncomfortably tingly; made that emptiness feel a little more manageable, and he couldn't quite seem to squish the bubble of joy that burst at the thought of his protective best friend.
So, Sakura didn't love him, not in that forever kind of way, at least. The life he had been planning had come completely unraveled in the past few weeks. It hurt. Damn, it hurt. Yet, oddly, Sakura's rejection didn't sting quite as badly as he had expected. He made the right decision.
He'd passed the day thinking he'd lost both his girlfriend and his best friend. With Sasuke back in his corner, he felt that his life would keep going. Indeed, here in Sasuke's arms, he felt that Sakura's love was a wound that was already healing.
Yeah, that probably wasn't normal.
Black eyes met his, and Sasuke startled. Naruto grinned.
"Jesus, idiot!" He swore, retracting his arm with a surprised jerk. "I thought you were asleep."
Naruto let his eyes flutter shut.
"I am." He mumbled, stifling yet another yawn into the soft wool.
He could feel Sasuke's arm settle hesitantly around him once more, and Naruto found himself smiling once more. His flatmate could be so damn cute when he wasn't trying.
Naruto chanced another peek at his prickly friend. People look a bit funny from below, and Sasuke was no exception. He was stiff now, the awkwardness painted across his furrowed brow. He had never been terribly comfortable allowing anyone to breach his personal space, yet he didn't push Naruto away.
Sakura's words floated through his ears.
Sasuke did care about him. Right? He must. Otherwise, he wouldn't indulge Naruto's cuddly needs. It was clear he was well past his monthly contact quota if his twitching left brow was any indication.
That said, she wasn't entirely wrong. Sasuke wasn't very good at sharing, that part was certain. He'd always been suspicious of Naruto's other friends, of all his girlfriends, and Sakura hadn't been the first to complain.
Naruto frowned. Would he have to choose, one day, between love and his bond with Sasuke? The idea made his stomach lurch.
Those eyes met his again, but this time they looked worried.
Naruto gave him his best stupid grin.
Sasuke responded with a sceptical arch of one slender brow. Guess he was a little more perceptive than he let on.
"Whatever you're thinking about, idiot, stop." Sasuke ordered. "You're not going to get anywhere sighing like that."
"I'm just looking up your nose." Naruto explained. "Did you know your right nostril is slightly bigger than your left one?"
He was suddenly and unceremoniously dumped off of Sasuke's lap.
"Noooo!" He whined dramatically, clinging to the sweater with all his might. "You're so comfy!"
He rubbed his cheek along Sasuke's shoulder.
"Is this cashmere?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, nudging him away with his pointed elbow.
Naruto stretched, working out the kinks in his muscles.
"Sorry I passed out on you." He apologised. "How long was I out?"
Sasuke shrugged. "A couple of hours."
The blond man bolted upright.
"Are you serious?!"
Sasuke shrugged again. "You needed it."
"Yeah, but... I mean you could have moved me."
Aww... was that a little blush on Sasuke's little cheeks?
"Well." He cleared his throat. "I didn't want to disturb you."
Naruto gave him another grin – genuine this time.
"You're too cute, S'ke." He cooed.
Sasuke shot him a disgruntled glare, putting all his prickles out.
"You know what, go eat your damn ice cream."
Naruto brightened immediately, making a mad dash for the kitchen. When he returned, his spoon was already stuck directly into the gooey green pint. He flopped back onto he couch next to Sasuke, making a slew of suggestive noises as he dove into his tasty treat.
"I think I'm literally having a relationship with this ice cream." He explained to the raised eyebrow.
"No, not literally, idiot." Sasuke corrected. "Figuratively."
"No man." Naruto returned the ice cream to his lips. "Literally."
Sasuke snorted.
Naruto stretched himself across the sofa.
"So do you wanna go out tonight?" He asked. "Try to pick up chicks or something else terribly masculine?"
"You've been single for less than twenty-four hours and you're already looking to get laid?"
"I said try to pick up girls. I didn't plan to actually succeed."
Sasuke looked apprehensive.
"Oh, I forgot, Mr. I-Make-Them-Come-To-Me, your success rate is perfect."
"Nearly." Sasuke clarified.
Naruto stuck the spoon in his mouth with a pensive tilt.
"Does your routine work on girls too? Or only dudes."
Sasuke studied him with dark unreadable eyes.
"You obviously can't take home any woman from any bar." His answer was flat. "But you can almost always find one. The trick is recognising her."
Naruto opened his mouth, but his response was cut off by the chime of Sasuke's mobile phone. He tucked back into his ice cream, letting the minty awesomeness coat his tongue.
Sasuke cocked his head in confusion as he slid his thumb down the screen.
"Who is it?" Naruto nosed.
Did you find him? Is he alive? Oh my god, say something! I need proof that he's still breathing!
"Yamanaka, I think." Sasuke scratched his head, as he looked at the text. "How did she get my number?"
"Ino?"
Naruto snatched the phone away.
"She was looking for you earlier." Sasuke explained. "She was worried."
Naruto felt a warm sensation enveloping his whole body. She worried about him. There was a time when not a single person cared about his well-being. Despite the ache in his heart, he just couldn't help feeling stupid-happy.
His eyes darted from the phone, to his ice cream, to Sasuke and back.
"Oh hell no." Sasuke scrambled off the couch.
A wicked grin stretched across Naruto's face.
On the other side of campus, Ino Yamanaka's phone vibrated in her back pocket. She recapped her nail pen and paused to admire her best friend's perfect french manicure.
With a satisfied smirk, she tugged her phone out of her jeans. Said best friend failed to miss the amused smile that flitted across the blonde's lips.
"Who is it?" Sakura asked, blowing gently on her fingernails.
"Don't worry about it." Ino responded.
Sakura sighed. She didn't know who Ino thought she was kidding.
"It's Naruto, isn't it?" She asked, stretching out to reach the phone.
"You don't want to see it, Sakura." Her best friend warned.
"Oh let me be the judge of that." Sakura snapped.
What's the worst it could be? Even if Naruto were out with a bunch of girls, it's not like he would have replaced her or anything. Her eyes narrowed. It would suck to see him with a bunch of girls.
She clicked on the screen. A message sent from Sasuke's phone.
I'm doing alright. Thanks for worrying. Take care of my girl for me. -N
Sakura's heart made a painful thump. Naruto was always too kind.
"That's not so bad..." Sakura's words died on her lips as she saw the attachment.
It should have been funny. She understood why Ino had nearly laughed. Attached, there was a series of selfies in which Naruto was holding Sasuke down and force-feeding him mint chocolate chip ice cream.
In the first photo Sasuke looked panicked. The second he had a spoon in his mouth, and in the third he looked like he was about the ignite the camera. The final photo was the problem. Both boys were covered in the green, sticky goo. Sasuke looked smug, even with ice cream on his nose, and Naruto the sloppier of the two, was grinning ear to ear, his arm looped around his flatmate's shoulders.
Sakura zeroed in on one pale, sticky hand. Far from being the contact-phobic prick Sasuke was known to be, he was gripping Naruto's arm – desperately. Sakura frowned. To most people, the touch would look casual. In fact, she was surprised Ino picked up on the intimacy. It appeared not even Naruto noticed, and it had been his arm.
She felt a sigh slip through her nose. The photo reminded her of those days, years ago, when she would have been draped across them, ice cream smudging her own pale cheeks. In those days, she'd been vying for Sasuke's attention, cherishing those rare moments he indulged her. Sasuke could make her feel like she owned the world.
"I lost them both." She said without a thought.
Sasuke had made her feel amazing, but he also made her feel like a slime mould. A good ninety-nine and a half percent of the time, he was only interested in his friendship with Naruto. She was beginning to wonder if that other half a percent hadn't been about Naruto too.
Sasuke's smug eyes were boring directly into hers.
Mine. They said.
Oblivious, Naruto's shit eating grin lit up the photograph.
Or maybe, she wondered. She hadn't lost anything. She never really had either of them.
AN mock 2: So Chapter nine is probably about halfway done. I'm definitely in commission for the rest of the holidays. Then, I'll be moving to a new continent. However, as such, I'll be unemployed for a while. Hopefully, it'll be just enough time to finish this damn story.
As always, comments and criticisms are loved and devoured. (Seriously, tell me why I suck! I might not be able to fix the plot holes in this story, but I can always improve!)
