Sakura stood tall in front of her mirror, fresh out of the shower and dripping water all over the floor. The tips of her damp hair now brushed her shoulders, compared back to when she'd first arrived and it only hung to her chin. It was a glaring discovery of how much time had passed. Sakura spent every waking moment with her time caught in a whirlwind, slipping past her. Her excursions outside varied, now. Sometimes she ventured into the forest to spar, or to train, if she could goad someone into indulging her. Sometimes it was to the outside of Ame, to small towns where her name was unknown. Sakura enjoyed not having any recognition tied to her, no one even knew she was a ninja unless she announced it in some way. Before, as a child, Sakura couldn't escape the labels stapled to her forehead. A ninja, a medic, a weapon, an enemy. Now, though she could choose to don the Akatsuki's cloak and represent an imposing force, she also retained the freedom to remain just a girl. A girl was no one, and it felt damn refreshing.

"Perhaps you're trying to impress someone?" a voice rasped within Sakura's mind. She should be grateful that no one else could hear the inner banter, it would be scarring to the uninitiated.

"Myself?" Sakura responded with a grin. She began to ring her hair, where water droplets crawled between her fingers and down her hands. With her arms up away from the towel, the flimsy cloth slipped free of the knot she'd tried to tie it in. Towels almost never stayed where you wanted to put them. She jolted a bit, moving to cover herself as if there were eyes other than her own in the room. Discomfort prickled inside of her.

"Don't kid yourself, you're nothing but a scrawny kid. A girl who replaced curves with muscles."

Sakura slammed the words down with vehemence. To further reject the malicious thought, she unfurled her arms and exposed herself to the mirror, raising her body to stand straight. Her chest pushed outwards and she slid her palm down the firm and muscled plane of her abdomen. Yes, she had muscles, and she had worked hard for them. She'd sweat, cried, and bled for this body. Didn't she reserve the right to be proud of it? "Anyone who doesn't like it can gouge their own eyes out," Sakura muttered, giving her navel a tap.

She dressed, donning a thin nightgown, as it was too warm to wear much else. The weather was just as finicky as her own mind seemed to be. Her thoughts were quieting down now as she cleaned up the bathroom and took her leave, eager to get out of the steam. It clung to her like wispy hands and it was just too warm for that.

On her way to bed, Sakura took a book off her desk, a novel she'd yet to even check the name of. It was a random selection she'd picked up while out making herself an adventurer. She remembered a long time ago, Kakashi once said freedom was addictive to those who'd not had much of it. She believed him, now. Though, back then, she hadn't known how little freedom she'd had.

Just as she was about to sit down on her bed, there came a knock at the door. Sakura started a bit and about dropped her book. "Who the hell is up this late?"

Well…I am, Sakura thought to herself as she set the book back down on the desk. Hurrying to the door, she slid it open and began to ask what the problem might be, but her query died in her throat. Her voice recovered before her thought process did, leading her to say the first thing that came to her mind. "Why is it you only come to see me after dark?"

Deidara smiled a lopsided grin, his hair loose and hanging about his shoulders. "Everything is better at night, don't you know?" Without either of them asking, Sakura stepped aside. Deidara came into her room as if he felt quite welcome here, and Sakura encouraged it. She closed the door and flashed her eyes over her shoulder, curious but hesitant. It wasn't the first time she and Deidara had spent time alone together. In fact, over the course of the past few weeks, Sakura felt brave enough to say that she was comfortable with him. She wouldn't say she knew him exceptionally well, but she could say she enjoyed his company and the witty, comforting way he had with words. Each conversation bared more of them to each other.

However, each time, Sakura found herself growing more of an attraction. There was a developing attachment there, flanked by something explosive. Sakura hadn't been brave enough to ignite it just yet. She was waiting, she thought, but for what? "You mean we can see your explosions better," Sakura replied, snickering. "I'm glad you stopped by, though. I've never…I haven't really thanked you. I meant to, I just…" Sakura trailed off, her nervous fingers reaching up to tug at her just-washed hair.

Deidara considered teasing Sakura for her apparent awkwardness, but he restrained himself. Just barely, though. Instead, he let a smirk speak volumes for him. Sakura puffed her cheeks out in retaliation, and Deidara almost expected her to stomp her foot in frustration, too. "I didn't say anything, yeah," he pointed out, being quick to avoid the woman's temper that he had come to both admire and have a healthy wariness of. "What are you thanking me for?"

Sakura resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but only just. She both hated and appreciated the way Deidara took most things with a grain of salt. "How much do you think I should be thanking you for?" she asked, a touch of playfulness in her voice. "Maybe the day you saved my life and brought me back safe? Or the night we shared on the hilltop? Or, perhaps we should start at the very beginning?" Sakura's voice dwindled into a slower, quieter tone and she lowered her eyes. Thinking about it was painful, almost shameful. Maybe she shouldn't have brought it up, she didn't want that day to be all that Deidara thought of her. A weak, spineless girl who had given up.

Deidara exhaled through his nose in a sound reminiscent of a repressed laugh. Raising his eyes, he looked at Sakura through his eyelashes, passing several seconds in silence as he observed her. "I wasn't sure we'd ever bring that day up. I did think that you'd be cursing me instead of thanking me, yeah."

Sakura blinked, perplexed by Deidara. "Wh—what do you mean?" She, too, hadn't thought they would ever talk about that day. He was the only one who knew about it, of the circumstances that had really led Sakura into staying. She didn't know what'd he'd said, if any of them had ever asked how he captured her. But he had kept her secret without her prompting him to.

Deidara sat on Sakura's bed and leaned back against the headboard, resembling someone at ease. Or, maybe he was someone who was good at faking it. "Most people aren't too happy when their plans are ruined, yeah. When they make a choice, they're certain it's the right one." Deidara's fingers toyed with a frayed string on his pants as he spoke, keeping his gaze pinned to Sakura and making her feel antsy, herself. "When I saw you, that day, I didn't recognize you."

The sincerity in Deidara's voice was uncomfortable. Sakura had to lean back, using the wall to support her weight. "We only met once, ages ago, but it's hard to forget a girl that can shatter the ground, yeah." Deidara paused to smile for a moment, putting Sakura's nerves to rest a little. "That day, you were older, paler, thinner. You didn't have that anger in you that you had back then, that anger that drove you forward, to fight. I've seen suicidal people before, Sakura. They don't want to be saved. They're tired, they're done, yeah." Deidara's shoulders hunched as if he were collapsing under a strong weight.

Sakura twitched, flinching away from an unseen cold front. "You think I regret you saving me?" she asked, clenching her hands so that her pulsing adrenaline had somewhere to vent. "I don't. I didn't, back then. I was sorry the second I stepped off that ledge." Sakura's voice was welling with emotion. She paused, swallowing so that she could continue without choking up. Even with her eyes wet, she lifted her chin and stared Deidara down. It was a challenging, imposing expression, with her locked jaw and furious, glowing eyes.

Deidara wanted to stand, to approach Sakura and try to comfort her, but he felt compelled to stay right where he was, too. This felt wrong, somehow, like he was watching something personal that should be private. But, Sakura had let him in, and here she stood in the way of leaving, her small body made of steel and valor. It was everything he remembered her to be, plus miles more.

"Look at me," Sakura ordered in a voice too gentle to hold so much command. She needed to be heard, she wanted to feel real, to feel understood.

"I am," Deidara promised her. "I always am."

The words wrapped around Sakura, draping over her like a thin shawl. She gripped it. "I thought dying had been my only choice. I think people believe that when they're too hurt to see anything else. When I was falling off that cliff, all I could think was how scared I was, about how much I wish I was standing back on solid ground. I was lucky when I got a second chance and I'm grateful for that every fucking day! And I'm sorry for everyone who got pushed to that point and didn't get a second chance!" There were tendrils of fury and regret lining Sakura's words as she spoke, hissing them past grit teeth to keep her voice down. But, there was more than that. It was the stark passion in her eyes.

Sakura was alive, and she wanted to feel it.

Deidara, wide eyed and frozen still, bounden to listen. Even after Sakura's voice had died down from the room, he still felt it echoing. When the woman straightened, he snapped out of it, leaning forward as she stepped towards him. He blinked once and she'd crossed the distance, her cool hand touching beneath his chin. "Sakura," Deidara started, raising his own hand to touch her wrist. "Be careful. You aren't—"

Sakura's fingers held Deidara's jaw as she tilted her head, bringing her mouth to be level with his. Something flashed in her eyes; something dangerous, primal and alluring. Deidara sucked in a breath, but it was an empty one that did nothing to soothe the need that was growing in his chest. "I know what I want," Sakura whispered in a solid voice, breathing her words against Deidara's lips so that he might taste her passion.

Deidara's eyes fell half-shut, relinquishing his faint grasp on Sakura's wrist. With that shift, that quiet approval bestowed to her, Sakura leaned forward and sealed her lips against Deidara's. His lips were warm, chapped from worrying them between teeth, and reminded Sakura of how nice they felt pressed against hers. She sucked his lower lip into her mouth and let her teeth nip gently before she let go, savoring the way Deidara arched into her for the attention.

The way Sakura moved forward was cautious but purposeful. Slow, deliberate leaning as she pressed into Deidara and he began leaning back. The bed dipped under one of Sakura's knees, and then the other as she came to rest on the bed, straddled over Deidara's waist. Deidara's hands landed on Sakura's waist and squeezed. He wanted to bring her closer, to feel her and get as much of her as he could. Maybe he was becoming a bit greedy, when it came to this exhilarant woman.

The bed creaked underneath the two's combined weight as they tilted back. Sakura's legs squeezed around Deidara's waist, and he gasped against her mouth at the way her hips pressed into his. Triumphant, even at such a quiet sound, Sakura lowered her body against Deidara's to press her soft breasts against his chest. The nightgown was too thin to serve as much of a barrier. It was already near see-through as it was.

Deidara's fingers dug into Sakura's skin to pull her lower against him, she sucked in a startled breath. The short inhale tapered into a soft sound of encouragement. Deidara knew better than to push or pull too much against Sakura's walls. She had barriers for a reason, and he would only move forward when she was the one who tugged at him. She traced the wet, pink tip of her tongue against Deidara's lip, slow, inviting. Prompting Deidara to open his mouth, Sakura's tongue slid past his lips and pressed against his own tongue. It was strange at first, the kiss was wet, hot and she wasn't quite sure what was she was doing. When her tongue curled against Deidara's and he moaned into her mouth, Sakura figured she had to be doing something right.

Sakura's nose brushed against Deidara's as she kissed him. Occasionally, she had to find a different way to tilt her head, but she thought that with a little practice, this might get easier. Another thing she found through practice was that it was a little hard to breathe while kissing someone. A bit dizzy from lack of air, and from the rising high in her brain, Sakura broke away from Deidara. The man leaned forward a little when she pulled back, his eyes blinking open in a daze to look at the flushed face of his lover. They were both turning breathless, having only just noticed the burning in their lungs. Leaning forward, Sakura rested her forehead against Deidara's own, considering the glimmering blue of his eyes.

It was Deidara who grinned first. It spread across his face and brightened his expression. So ebullient and genuine that Sakura couldn't keep herself from smiling, too. She giggled and leaned down to press a short, chaste kiss to Deidara's lips, which were pink from the earlier aggression. She kissed the corner of his mouth, then, before she continued to lower her attention, kissing along the defined line of Deidara's jaw. Her slender fingers tangled in the blond mess of Deidara's hair, tightening and tugging gently to coax him into tilting his head back. The tanned skin of his throat begged her to mark it, and she intended to comply.

The sheets wrinkled beneath Deidara as he tilted his head back, baring more of his neck. Sakura's teeth grazed against the smooth skin, until she paused to nip at it. She left behind several red marks that would turn into small bruises by morning. She kissed and bit, sucking hickeys onto the vulnerable flesh exposed to her in places that Deidara would have trouble hiding. Did she want him to hide them? Or did she want to project this night, to mark it and prove it as hers? Sakura wasn't often a possessive person, but something in her tonight drove her to be such.

Deidara's hands slid against her hips, gliding lower on her body to the milky skin of her thighs. The nightgown didn't cover that much (or had he been pulling it up?) and the bare skin was free to touch. The mouths on Deidara's palms nibbled at Sakura's thighs, causing her to shudder in surprise. Beneath her lips, she felt Deidara's pulse beating wild, and she smirked against it. Without warning, Sakura moved away, sitting up on Deidara's hips. The flimsy fabric of her nightgown rustled about the tops of her thighs. Deidara watched, rapt, as Sakura's fingers slid down her torso to grasp the bottom of the cloth. The translucent fabric slid up over Sakura's hips and stomach as Sakura tugged it up, pulling it over her chest and off her body entirely. The air in the bedroom was cool against her breasts and made her nipples harden into pink peaks.

Deidara's hands tightened on Sakura's thighs, causing indents in her soft flesh. Emboldened, Sakura rocked her hips, sliding against the hardness beneath her hips. "Shit," Deidara's hissed curse sent waves of smug satisfaction rolling inside of Sakura's belly. She could feel how hard he was already, all because of her.

Deidara's grip on her thighs dropped so that he could favor attention to her breasts. The warm, calloused pads of his thumbs pressed against Sakura's nipples and rub them in slow circles. Sucking her lower lip between her teeth to bite it, Sakura arched her back to push her chest forward more. Sharp, pleasant tingles shivered through her nerves while Deidara lavished attention to her. It was one of the most sensitive parts of her body, how could she help it? He pinched the soft skin between his fingers and tugged, until Sakura's nipples were hard and aching and she had to lean forward to kiss him. She kissed hard, with a powerful want.

Still holding the lead in her hands, Sakura let some of that rope out, extending it to allow Deidara to take the reins a bit. Careful as he moved, he pushed Sakura to lie down on the bed, resting on her back with her legs spread around Deidara's waist. Still kissing her, soft and gentle pecks and nibbling against lips that were already pink and likely to swell later. Deidara gripped the band of Sakura's underwear and began to roll them down. Sakura bent her knees a bit so that he could slide them off, before she relaxed again and let her knees fall apart.

Deidara's lips grazed the pale column of Sakura's throat. His fingers rubbed against her inner thighs, coaxing her to arch up in pleasure. His fingers reached her soft, wet sex and Deidara groaned against her damp skin. Sakura wrapped an arm around Deidara's shoulders when she felt his fingers rub against her and start pushing inside of her. She groaned in appreciation, tightening her embrace around her lover. Her muscles were soft and hot around Deidara's fingers as he slid them into her, relaxed and wet enough to avoid any discomfort. Sakura dug her heels into the sheets when Deidara sunk his middle and ring finger into her, coaxing her to relax and accept the new sensations. He twisted and curled his fingers, drawing quiet coos from Sakura's mouth. The pad of his thumb rubbed circles against the small, intensely sensitive bundle of nerves of her clitoris. She jolted at first, startled by the onslaught of feeling.

Gentling his movement, Deidara rubbed against Sakura's clitoris in slow patterns. All the while continuing to move his fingers within her. Sakura hissed, her eyes squeezing shut and mouth opening as it all washed over her. She rolled her hips, clamping down on Deidara's fingers as the tingling, burning pressure in her abdomen began to swell. It was happening fast, faster than he might have expected, but he reminded himself Sakura wasn't used to feeling this way. This was her first time, and he'll make it memorable. Instead of slowing, he pushed harder, eager to lull Sakura into the orgasm she'd been edging towards. Her voice was catching on her breathing, presenting in sharp little gasps as she rose on the high. It was muscles tensing, loosening in pleasure, tensing again as it spread throughout her body. It was fast and slow all at once, leaving Sakura shaky and struggling to calm down. The sheets were sticky against her sweating skin. She was so lost and hypersensitive that at first, she didn't notice Deidara had moved away to undress himself, too.

Panting, Sakura began to relax her fingers where they gripped the sheets so tight. She was grateful for the few seconds she had to compose herself a little, until she felt Deidara return to the bed. His hands gripped beneath her thighs and pulled her a bit closer to him, keeping them splayed around his waist. Where Sakura's hand was beside her head, Deidara reached and clasped their fingers as he leaned down to kiss her. "You're sure you're okay, yeah?" he whispered huskily, seeking her confirmation a final time. He didn't want her to have regrets, he didn't want her to be afraid.

Sakura gave his hand a small squeeze with her fingers. "I'm sure, I want this." She swallowed and closed her eyes, choosing to focus on only her sense of feeling. The head of Deidara's cock slid against her wet entrance, slick and hot as he began to ease inside of her. It was uncomfortable, and it was a little hard trying to stay relaxed, but it wasn't anything Sakura would call outright painful. She hugged him with her free arm and drew in a shaky breath, struggling to control herself a little. Deidara leaned his forehead against the crook of Sakura's neck with a quiet hiss of pleasure. She was hot and wet around him, and though he wasn't sure she meant to, she was squeezing him in a way that was almost unbearable. He didn't move yet, though, and he wouldn't until she was ready. This was in her control.

Being ready wasn't something Sakura was certain about. But, when she could squeeze around Deidara's cock and not wince, she felt she wanted him to move. Nudging her hips to convey this desire, Sakura murmured sweetly as Deidara shifted his hips. It was still a little uncomfortable, but in a way, it was still enjoyable. Sakura liked the way he slid in and out of her so easily, she liked his hands on her body and the way he filled her, she was sure it would only get better. The first time didn't have to be perfect, but she considered it special nonetheless. Her nails scraped down Deidara's back, leaving red lines and garnering a low sound from the man. His eyes were dark with pleasure when Sakura opened her own, finding him looking down at her. Her face was already flushed, but she was sure it grew just a little bit hotter.

He smirked down at her, cupping her face to kiss first her lips, then her forehead. The wet sound of their hips meeting mingled with their quiet sounds of pleasure and frantic breathing. "Deidara," Sakura whispered her lover's name, making him push into her faster. Sakura repeated it, locking her legs around Deidara's waist and tilting her head back with her mouth open, lips shiny and bitten. Near the end, like this, she decided she liked this feeling. It would take time, and practice, as most things did, but it was an experience she knew she would always be able to remember with great feelings. Deidara's body against hers, him murmuring sweet-nothings and endless affection into her ear, to the satisfying heat in her abdomen. Sakura could only throw her head back and cry voicelessly as Deidara drove into her. He held her hips, pulling her down onto his cock each time he thrust into her, now.

The way she squeezed and squirmed was too much, though they both knew from the start it wasn't going to last forever. Deidara's entire body tensed, muscles locking as he started to come inside of Sakura. The warmth spilling into her was a surprisingly satisfying feeling. It drew a startled moan from Sakura's lips, still open in a thin ring. Panting, they were both dazed and hot, as well as deeply pleased. Sakura left her legs spread open a bit even when Deidara carefully withdrew from her body. She could heal the faint ache later, for now, she didn't quite mind it. She listened as Deidara settled beside her and rested an arm around her waist, neither of them opting for the blanket just yet. Sakura wanted to bask for a while.

Deidara's breathing evened out beside her, but his arm never loosened around her waist. Sakura was content to let it stay there. As she stared up at the ceiling, she rested a hand over her navel and smirked to herself in pure satisfaction.

This was liberating.


What the fuck even is het smut, tbh?