Author's Note: No, I don't own Twilight, so stop asking for a signed copy. I'm sorry this took so long to get finished!! Jasper's back!! I promise, there are more chapters to come.
BPOV
I decided that I hated my life the second im I woke up in a hotel in Seattle. Memories of the day and nights beforehand swam before my eyes and I felt like crying. Jasper was gone, and I was going to have to survive waiting for him to come back to me. Closer at hand was Edward, and how I was going to handle leaving him. He noticed I was awake even though my head hadn't yet left the pillow and was instantly at my side.
"Good morning, Bella," he said, smiling at me in his genuine way. He bent down to kiss me but I moved my head to the side so he could only kiss my forehead. He didn't seem to mind though, and pulled back, still smiling. He was still exquisitely handsome, his face near perfect and his hair the same bronze color that had once captivated my world, but he could never compare to Jasper. Jasper's curly blonde hair was soft and inviting, and cherubim face was just…in a word, devastating. Even when he wasn't smiling, even when he was sad, he could never be called ugly, and when he was smiling, it was as if the sun had just come up in all its glory. But, as I let Edward hold me, I wondered if Jasper had made love to me because he wasn't coming back. And if he wasn't, where did that leave me? Stuck in a relationship with a man I didn't love anymore, the man who considered me to be his only chance at happiness. As I looked up at him, I could see all of the wonderful things about him that I had once loved, and realized that I would always love him. Maybe a small part of me still loved him in the same way as I had come to love Jasper.
"Edward, why do you love me?" I didn't know why I was asking him this, but it might have been because I was looking for something about me that I could amplify to make leaving him easier. He tensed a little, and then chuckled.
"What kind of question is that, Bella?"
"The kind of question I want an honest answer to," I replied, moving out of his embrace so I could turn to look right at him. I looked at his eyes, and noted how they had narrowed a little at the edges. "Is it that hard?"
"It is, because it sounds like you're asking me to stop loving you." Sadly, he had it perfect. It was exactly what I was asking him to do. "Which I know is ridiculous." He reached out for my hands, and held them together in his. "I love you because I want to, Bella. I love everything about you, except from the fact that you don't seem to understand that I do love you, with all my heart. It's as if you forget that sometimes." He suddenly left me, appearing at the couch, where he'd left his coat. He took something from its pocket, and then reappeared on the bed. "I was going to wait on this, Bella, but I just can't anymore." My world fell apart at those words. I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't know what I should do. Telling him yes would give him false hope if Jasper returned, but then again, I knew that if Jasper never came back, then at least I would be in a loving relationship. Telling him no was the right thing to do, but I figured he would think I meant no because I didn't want to get married, not no because I didn't love him. "I know you seem to loathe the idea, but I really want to do all this properly. I love you, and for some reason, you love me to, and that should be enough to lead us to get married. I don't want to be your boyfriend forever, Bella, I want more than that. I want to be your husband. And at this point, I'm willing to negotiate anything for you to just say yes."
My brain was screaming at me to say that I didn't love him, that I could never marry him, and that I really wanted to go home. But I couldn't make myself say it to his face, and I realized I never would. Even if I really wanted it to be, my place wasn't with Jasper, and it never would be. I belonged with Edward, no matter what Alice thought. As she had said, the future was always changing with the decisions people make. Jasper chose to run away, leaving me behind, never to return. And I had to choose to be with the man who'd been made for me, who had been handed to me on a silver platter. And so, I couldn't hold it in anymore, and finally I started balling. "I never wanted it to be this way, Edward. It's wrong to ask you to negotiate; you shouldn't have to convince me to marry you. I'm sorry for everything, I care about you, but I can't let you do this." I pulled my hands free and flung myself off the bed. I was surprised he let me, but then again, he was staring at me like I had gone insane.
"What nonsense are you talking about, Bella?" I lost it. I couldn't believe he hadn't noticed how much things had changed, how distant I'd become. And yet it was as if he couldn't understand plain English.
"Where the hell have you been these last few months, Edward? Outer Space?! Things haven't been right between us since Alice died and I know you think you can fix it all by getting married. Well you can't, Edward, this cant be fixed by you. You didn't destroy it, Jasper did. And he's the only one who can fix it. But he is never coming back!"
"What does Jasper have to do with this? Has he done something to you?! Bella, you have to tell me what he did!"
"Oh for the love of," I couldn't finish the phrase without screaming it at him, and I already knew that Rosalie and Emmett were most likely listening in the next room. So I escaped to the other side of the room, and grabbed my clothes, locking myself in the bathroom. Stripping down and starting the shower, I felt sure he didn't dare break the door down, and either way, his morals wouldn't have allowed him to see me naked. I knew I'd just walked out on an unfair fight that I was winning, but at the moment I was refusing to tell him anything that would hurt him. A few minutes after he was sure I wasn't coming out, I heard the door slam and the sound of Emmett's booming voice answering their door. I milked the shower as long as I could, until the water became uncomfortably cold and I was starting to prune. As soon as I was dressed, I stormed out of the bathroom to find Edward sitting on the re-made bed, his head in his hands.
"You don't want to marry me because you don't love me anymore." It wasn't a question. I weighed my options before answering. I chose to dance around the truth, knowing that sooner or later my lies and horrible deeds would come out. But I wasn't ready to face up to them, and if it made him happy to have me by his side, then I would marry him. He wouldn't have to know everything yet, and I would just explain the things that he needed to hear. I knelt at the feet of the bed, looking up at him.
"Edward, I do love you. I never stopped loving you. All that happened was that I found I could confide in Jasper, and he in me. At some point, it grew to be more than just friendship, but we knew it could never be. I asked him to leave so I couldn't do anything I would regret. I don't regret getting to know him, but I regret having allowed myself to think I could leave you for someone who I didn't really love, who never loved me."
"Why would you do that, after all we have been through," his head lifted from his hands, and he looked down at me with a hard, pained expression. "I would never ask you to stay with me if you found someone else, but I just don't understand what you thought you could tell him that you can't tell me. I am always here for you, Bella, I promised you that. I don't want to know everything you told him, everything you did."
"God, Edward, if you do, just tell me! Don't start with you're "I respect you" bullshit because it's ridiculous."
"I'm serious, Bella. I don't care. I want to know what I can do to fix us."
"I'm not sure how to answer that."
"Well, then lets begin with why you wont marry me." Of course he wanted to start with that. I rolled my eyes.
"You know the answer to that."
"I mean besides your aversion to it. Don't you want to be happy with me? I cant be happy like this forever."
"When you say forever you mean forever until I die, and that's not what forever means, Edward. I will not let you stay with me when I'm 40. I just won't do it. You'll lose me if you don't change me. And don't say I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't like the idea of being undead and killing living things. But it's worth it in my eyes if I can stay like this forever, as in eternity, with you. I don't care what you think you are, and I don't care if you think you're destroying my soul. If you didn't have a soul, I wouldn't have you the way you are." He looked like he wanted to hit something, and I pushed myself away a bit. "But, I'm not, and never have, asked for this to happen immediately. This is what I'm offering. If I marry you, you have to change me. That is all I ask. In the next year or so would be nice. I don't want to be any older than you than I already am. Maybe that's selfish, but to me it's reasonable."
"So you just don't want to grow old without me doing it as well? You don't care about anything else?"
I knew he was asking about intimacy, and I grimaced. I'd already handled that, and even though it still hurt me that Jasper had left me with that as a memory, I didn't regret having done it. It would be easier to work Edward through the process, especially when he thought he couldn't handle it. He wouldn't have to know I was no longer a virgin, and with the bruises he'd inflicted me with the last time we'd actually made out, he was bound to not notice that I wasn't bleeding like I should. "No Edward that can wait. I agree that we should wait until we're married. There's no reason to push it. But it doesn't have to be on our wedding night. We can wait until after I'm unbreakable if you're afraid you'll hurt me."
"Really? You would wait for that?"
"Well, as long as you don't make me wait too long." I smiled weakly, and stood up, making to it next to him, but he stopped me, pushing me away with a hand to my stomach.
"So you're saying yes, then," he asked, and pulling out the box again. I nodded, and he slipped the ring on my finger. It was a little heavy, and definitely not my style, but it was still beautiful. My stomach knotted. I was engaged. I was supposed to be happy, so where was the happiness? Oh, that's right, non-existent. I'd given in, and I'd ignored Alice's wishes. Certainly, everyone would be happy now, and everything would be fine. Still, I looked around the room, and remembered why we were here.
"So, what are we doing about Victoria?"
"Nothing, at this point," replied Emmett, who had suddenly appeared in the door. So that was why Edward had looked that way when he had slipped on the ring. "She isn't even here. Carlisle has searched all the surrounding area and as far as we can tell, she's been gone for weeks now. It seems she had a bad run-in with one of the vampire's hiding out here, and was driven out. Carlisle suggests we go camping for real now." He smiled. "Oh, and when's the wedding and I'm best man, right?"
"Yes, if you'd like," said Edward, smiling.
"Oh no, I have to tell Charlie!" With the conversation we'd had a few weeks ago, he wasn't going to like this at all. Renee would be excited, but she wouldn't want to come out here, and would suggest we fly somewhere "prettier and warmer."
"That can wait until we get home, Bella. We should tell him in person. How about we have him to the house for dinner, and announce it to the whole family? Everyone will act like they know nothing, and he wont feel left out. He won't be able to disapprove with Carlisle there. He'll assure Charlie we know what we're getting ourselves into."
"Right, that's a good idea. But I don't want to force everyone to eat human food when they don't really have to."
"Aw come on Bella, we'd do it for you! Well, Rose might complain, but she can just starve that night," Emmett smiled at me, encircling Edward and I in a great big hug. "We're all going to be official couples, now!" Rosalie came in the room at the sound of Emmett's laughter, a small smile playing on her pretty face.
"What's all this noise about? Someone was just arguing and now all I hear is your laughter, Em. Care to explain?"
"Erm, well, Bella and Edward are getting married."
"What," it wasn't an excited or happy question, more like one of an intention of death and disgust. Still, she smiled as though she was trying to act happy. "That's…well, that's nice then."
"Thank you," Edward said nicely enough, obviously having heard something in her mind that made his hand clench a little. I looked up at her, and smiled my thanks.
She grabbed Emmett's hand and they swept from the room. I looked awkwardly at my suitcase and then sat down on the bed again. Edward turned to look at me. "I think it's time we went home. We have no reason to remain here."
"Right." We packed up and checked out of the hotel. We spent the ride home in silence, as I had little to say, and Edward kept to himself. I wondered what the next few days would have in store for me, but I knew it included planning a wedding with Esme and Rosalie. I dreaded the idea of trying on wedding dresses, but thankfully there would be time to set aside for that.
EPOV
I just couldn't figure Bella out. When I proposed, she had looked like she'd been shot. I had expected her to hash it out with me, as she had done, but I hadn't expected her to be so unhappy about it. I knew it was hard for her, because she loved me, and I also knew she feared things wouldn't work out. What she didn't know was that I would fight to my death to keep us together, to keep our love alive. Sometimes I wondered if that was what she even wanted anymore. If she wanted me, but I forced the thought aside and thought about the music I'd put in. But my thoughts caught up with me until I couldn't push them away. It was unavoidable; I knew this, that she wouldn't be happy forever.
And the thing with Jasper, well I didn't know where that was coming from. I knew they'd become close, but I didn't like how she talked about him. As I drove back to Forks, I kept silent, as Bella didn't really have anything to say, and concentrated on planning a wedding. It would have to wait, I decided, since we were returning to school in a week, and it would be bad enough news that we were engaged. I knew Bella didn't want to tell Charlie, but I also knew exactly what everyone in school would think. It would be hard to explain that we were getting married because we love each other, not because Bella was pregnant. I chuckled a little to myself at that thought, because, as far as Carlisle could tell, that wasn't even possible. And if it was, it wouldn't matter because we would graduate and be headed off somewhere else before anyone would find out, that was, if we ever had a child.
I knew that Rosalie had hated the idea of Bella and I getting married because she was confident that I was going to end her life. She had always wanted nothing more than a child, and in her opinion, I would be robbing Bella of the chance to have children. It was true that if she was changed, that she would never have the option, but I had never even thought to ask Bella how she felt about having children. She'd never seemed too interested, but then again, she was an only child and hadn't really been exposed to siblings much. As I let her into the house and carried our bags from the car, I studied her. Yes, something had changed about her, something about the way she carried herself was very wrong. And it wouldn't be very long before I would find myself dragging it out of her.
The next week was horrible for me, as Bella told me she wasn't able to spend time with me as she planned the wedding she had dreaded having said yes to. I watched her from afar as she and Esme swept through store after store, in search of the perfect wedding dress, until Rosalie suggested that they have one made in Paris, as Alice would have suggested. Bella had cried a little at that, and I assumed it was because she was basically lost without Alice's fashion knowledge.
Still she seemed to enjoy seeing me try on suit after suit, and finally she chose a basic black tuxedo with a white shirt for Emmett, Carlisle and I. I dared to peak at the dress she chose when it came in the mail, but I knew it was nothing next to the way it would look when she came down the isle in it.
As soon as school started up, I was content to see Bella in almost every one of my classes, though she seemed to be a bit uncaring about the idea. I drove her to and from school every day, but that was really the extent of our time together. I always found myself leaning in to kiss her more often then I ever would have in public, but since I wasn't allowed at her place at night anymore, it seemed, I had to feel her against me at any opportunity I could find. Luckily, the word hadn't traveled much, and so, on a particularly windy September Friday, I was heading over to Bella's to announce to her father that he was invited to a dinner party Saturday night. There, we were going to announce our marriage plans, and Rosalie was going to confess that she had already planned most of the wedding.
Charlie answered the door with his typical discontented look whenever he saw me. "Good afternoon," I greeted him politely.
"Bella's in the kitchen."
"Actually, I'm not here to see Bella. I'm here to invite you to dinner at my parent's tomorrow night. Bella will be there of course, but she asked me to invite you for her."
"Oh, well, then I will be there. What time?"
"Seven o'clock would be perfect."
"I will see you then, Edward," he glanced at me again, then at the kitchen. "You sure you don't want to see Bella?"
"No, I must be going. I will call her later of course. Good bye." He shrugged his shoulders and ushered me out the door. The next night was bound to be an experience he would never forget.
JPOV
As soon as I landed in Venice, I checked into a hotel and went hunting. It took a while to find a good place to hunt, considering all the little countryside towns were in the forests, but eventually, I found a nice spot, parked, and took off running into the woods. Before long, I tracked my prey and brought it down. Unsatisfied, I hunted some more, until I was overly indulging. After I cleaned myself up, I went out into the city that night, taking in the atmosphere and the history surrounding me. Oh, how Bella would love it here, I mused to myself. Bella. I sighed her name aloud. The one person I wanted to see right now, and yet, she was farther away from me now than I ever wanted her to be. I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but I was confident I would find it.
The first week in Italy was the hardest for me. I had tried to call her so many times, but every time I heard her voice on the other side, I couldn't form words. My stomach would tighten uncontrollably, and I would end up throwing down the phone in irritation. There were so many things going through my mind constantly that I couldn't even enjoy taking a Sunday drive to the Venetian countryside. I remembered that Alice had come here with Bella to stop Edward from killing himself, and that I hadn't been there to comfort her when she'd left anxiously. I had been so relieved to see her get off the plane that I'd done something I hadn't done in a while, I just took her in with all my senses, staring at her, breathing in her perfumed scent, feeling her emotions washing over me.
She had still loved me, I realized, even as she had written out those notes so many months ago. Although her ideas had grown scrambled at the end and had led me to escape Forks, leaving my heart behind with Bella, something must have driven her to write them.
So I was off to the Volturi, I decided as I sat in my hotel room, looking out the window as the sun came up. I shut the windows quickly, noticing the people across the street were also outside on their deck, and they would be sure to notice my skin if the light hit it.
I packed quickly, cleaned up the vase I had broken in a fit of frustration I had experienced the night before when I had realized that I was continuously hitting dead ends in my mind, and that this would change only when I went to see the Volturi. Taking one last look at the picture of Bella I had stolen from Edward's room the night I had left, I took a deep breath and stole away in my rented sports car, very aware of the Italian women following me with their eyes as I swept through the lobby.
I stopped in a small town to get some gas, and was hit with the scent of another vampire. Although it didn't really surprise me, I wasn't intending to run into anyone while here. I wanted to keep a very low profile, and if I was correct, it would be hard to do this.
Sure enough, as I went in to the small market store, I could easily pick out the pale skin of a tall female. Her eyes met mind, and she cocked an eyebrow. I tried to avert her eyes, but couldn't risk escaping the store as quickly as I wished to. So, she cornered me at the back of the store, her brown eyes just slightly tinged red and her dark brown hair swinging behind her. I grimaced. She must have recently converted to a human-supplemented diet. Her hair reminded me of Bella's and for a moment, I smiled slightly. She smiled too. "Oh, I knew I'd meet you someday. Maria told me all about you, Jasper, her most prized child." My eyes narrowed. She knew Maria, and this wasn't good news for me. I'd spent so long hiding from her prying eyes, and the last thing I needed was for her to find out about Bella.
"And you are?" I let my words fall silkily, hiding any amount of hostility I might be radiating. She annoyed me, as I could feel her
"I am Corinna."
"How do you know Maria?"
"She changed me, of course. Just as she changed you," she smiled again, and extended a cold hand. I took it lightly and then pulled mine away. "So, what brings you to Italy, Jasper? Surely not a vacation."
"No, it's business." She eyed me curiously, and beckoned with her hand.
"We'll see about that."
I had no choice but to follow her.
Attn: Will Bella follow through with the wedding? Will Jasper find out about it and get home in time to stop it? Will we ever find out what happened to Alice? Review to find out!!!
