The Spicer Monologues
By: CrystallicSky
Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or any of its characters, nor do I make any money off the writing of this.
Warnings: Language, sexual situations/implication, etc.
Notes: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT- this story is part of a collab with Silvarbelle, in which she wrote as Chase Young and I wrote as Jack Spicer for an entire year of 'diary' entries. This project is already entirely finished on both of our ends. However, both on my deviantART account and my Fanfiction account, I am only posting this half of the story to roughly the midway point. This is because, for various reasons, Silvarbelle and I have decided to showcase the Diary Project exclusively on LiveJournal, at least in its completely finished form. See the A/N for more information.
...
1/8/09-
Fuck yes! Guess what I just won?
That's right, the Eye of Xūn! What now, losers?
Oh, man, I seriously kicked ass today; it was awesome. My matter-shifter worked perfectly! You should have seen the looks on the monks' faces, it was beautiful.
Okay, back to the beginning: my Wu alarm, once more reactivated, went off around noon, and by then, I was ready to go, which I did. The Wu was somewhere in some rainforest (I can't be bothered to remember all the names of all the rainforests, thank you very much) and unfortunately, the monks got there first.
However, I was there in time to get a hand on it and issue a challenge of a Showdown. The seriously awesome part, though, is that it was a five-way combat Showdown: all four of them vs. me. And I won. Yeah, I mean, maybe it was a little arrogant to make that kind of a challenge, but I was confident that there was no way I could lose, and I was right!
I owe my victory entirely to my matter-shifter (which, since I haven't been able to come up with a better name, looks like its going to stick). Now that I can actually talk about my victory, I'm going to go ahead and spoil what my idea for it was: I used it on myself.
It worked so perfectly, it's not even funny. I set it up so that I could wear it as a bracelet and change the configuration of my body with just a thought; the two settings I used most often were rubber and diamond. Whenever one of the monks tried to hit me: diamond and, ow, my hand! Whenever the cowboy (because he was the only one who was strong enough to actually do it) tried to physically pick me up and hurl me against something in the hopes of, I don't know, knocking me out or whatever: rubber and, hey that didn't even hurt!
I waited until they were pretty much tired out from trying to kick my ass (not this time, bitches!) to actually go on the offensive and KO them. I swear to God, I bitch-slapped lover-boy (while I was made of diamond), and I'm almost positive I heard his jaw crack: awesome.
Best of all? I think Chase might've been watching when I handed the monks' asses to them. I can't be sure, but sometimes I just get this shivery feeling up and down my spine, and in past experience, almost immediately after I got it, Chase showed up out of nowhere. I was getting that feeling right before I left, so here's hoping I made a good impression!
BUT. I won the Eye of Xūn, hands down. I'll have to try more passive methods of competing in Showdowns like that more often; I might actually have a chance at winning once in awhile.
On the other hand, I'm not totally sure what this Wu does, yet. I'll figure it out eventually. My immediate guess is that it'll let you see how you or somebody else is going to die because it looks kinda like a kaleidoscope in the shape of an eye and 'xūn' means 'twilight', so the Eye of Twilight; maybe twilight is representative of 'end' because it's the end of a day and maybe it's some kind of metaphor for the end of a life.
I don't know. I'll do some snooping at in the temple's records later to know for sure, but the point is that I am victorious! I guess that break was just what I needed.
For now, I'm going to go scrounge around in the kitchen for a victory-meal. I think there's some banana bread on the counter, so I'll probably go for that.
-LATER-
Aaaaannnnnddddd…ANGER.
So. My victory was completely negated when the monks paid me a visit fairly late tonight (guess which wall they smashed through? Again?).
They stole the Eye of Xūn (I was right, by the way: it does let you see how people are going to die), smashed my matter-shifter to bits, and kicked my ass just for the hell of it.
Maybe I should be taking lessons from them: they're evil as hell. They not only took something from me that I had won fair and square, they destroyed my personal property so that they could maintain their advantage in future Showdowns and then beat me up for no reason whatsoever other than that they don't like me.
Yeah, those are some good Samaritans for you!
The only good thing about it is that it turns out I did crack Raimundo's jaw; he was wearing the kind of sling you'd see in old cartoons when somebody got a toothache. He looked pretty dumb, and that was the only highlight of the whole incident.
Well, I don't really know what to do right now. I feel cheated. I guess I could do with a shower to maybe scald away the scent of failure that I'm sure is hovering around me like a cloud of smog, and then…I don't know, I might read Zombie Haiku again; that usually cheers me up. If not, then I'll probably just go back to bed.
Fuck.
...
A/N: Continuing on from the above notes, this story will only be available in its entirety on LiveJournal. The Spicer Monologues (this half) can be found at tech(UNDERSCORE)lord dot livejournal dot com. Chase Young's Diary (the counterpart to this half) can be found at dragon(UNDERSCORE)lordcy dot livejournal dot com. In order to be able to read, you must have or make a LiveJournal account, which is completely free to do, and friend both journals so that I may friend you back. This was a safety filter meant to keep it so that only people who want to read (AKA, those who won't flame or report the story because they don't like it) can read. After you friend the journals and are friended back, all of the entries from both Jack and Chase's diaries will be available to you.
Other than that, I have nothing to say but I hope you enjoyed the story! :D
