Sometimes Fred wished he didn't live in New York. Sure, it was great and all, he liked the big city and all its wonders, but so did a lot of other people. And by other people he meant the less friendly super villainy kind. Seriously, the city was basically a super villain hotspot. There was some big bad guy showing up every other week to fuck shit up.
The current week was no exception. It was just Fred's luck that killer robots were trying to take over the city when Tadashi was in town. And because the universe just loved him so much, Tadashi got snatched right from under his nose. By a killer robot that had swooped off into the sky, much to everyone's horror.
"Oh my God, please tell me you guys brought your gear," Fred said as he ran down the street, trying in vain to keep Tadashi in his sights.
"We do, but it's back at the hotel," Honey said helplessly. She squeezed his shoulder as they stood there, staring at the disappearing dot that was their friend.
Hiro stepped forward with a fiery look in his eyes. "We have to get back to the hotel as fast as we can. I'll activate Baymax and he can do a scan for Tadashi."
"The hotel is too far, and there's no way we can get a cab in this chaos," Gogo said, scowling.
Fred was trying very hard not to have a screaming fit.
"Well what else do you suggest we do?" Hiro snapped.
Unfortunately nobody else piped up with a way to save their friend. If only there was a pamphlet for rescuing your loved ones from killer robot armies that swarmed the skies.
"Fred you still have your suit don't you?" Wasabi asked, looking intently at him.
Fred blinked at him in surprise. "I mean yeah, but I haven't like used it in ages. I don't know if everything will work properly-"
"Go put it on," Hiro ordered. "Your apartment's not far and you're our best bet right now. We'll get our gear as fast as we can, but until then try and find my brother. Do whatever you have to do to get him to safety."
Fred nodded, but his whole body felt numb.
He was going to put on the super suit again. After years. To save his totally not boyfriend.
God, he was gonna get his ass handed to him.
Find Tadashi. Protect him at all costs.
Easier said than done.
Maybe if Fred was a little more self serving and morally ambiguous like Wade he wouldn't be having such a hard time. He wasn't like Wade though, so every time he saw someone in trouble he went over to help them out.
They were just normal citizens after all. Fred was wearing a super suit- better that he take a blow instead of them. At least he had lots of experience with it before.
He had to admit that it was kind of fun to get back out there and crush robots beneath his enhanced super jumping feet. It would have been more fun if his fire breath was more effective, but hey, you can't have everything.
Still, as much as he loved helping people out, he couldn't help the sliver of fear that Tadashi needed him more right then. What if by the time Fred got there he was too late? What if Tadashi was badly injured? Even worse, what if he was dead?
No.
He couldn't afford to think like that. Tadashi was alive, and he was waiting for someone to help him.
Fred pushed away any depressing thoughts and focused on kicking a robot into a streetlight. It hit so hard that the light was left with a giant L-shaped dent in it. Oops.
He winced at the damage he was causing. He wished he didn't have to cause so much destruction, but it couldn't really be helped. He'd make a generous donation to the city later.
"Wow that was a powerful kick! Haven't seen you around here before. You do look a little familiar though. Are you new?" a voice above him asked. He looked up in surprise when a masked man dropped down in front of him.
"Uh, no, not really. Retired, actually, but I have to find someone," he said, staring stupefied at the figure in front of him.
"Retired, huh? Well I'm Spider-man-"
"I know who you are," Fred blurted. He was grateful for the mask that was covering up his now red face.
The vigilante in front of him just tilted his head. "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. You got a name then?"
"Not anymore," he replied, suddenly remembering himself. "Listen, it's great to meet you and all, but I really have to-"
"WeeeeeeEEEEAAaaasssssSSEEEEELLLL!"
Oh for fuck's sake. He barely had a moment to prepare himself before a blur of red and black tackled him to the ground.
"Wade, for the love of all good things-"
"Look at you all decked out! And here I thought that I was the one supposed to dress up and rescue the damsel in distress. That is why you're out here isn't it? Because you've never bothered before, but all the sudden this hottie you've been hiding from me rolls into town, and all the sudden here you are kicking robot ass," Wade squealed, hitting him in the chest giddily.
Fred sighed heavily and pushed the other off him before getting unsteadily to his feet.
"Er, a friend of yours?" Spider-man asked. Fred and Wade both turned to look at him. Fred had totally forgotten about the man, but Wade hadn't even noticed him prior to that moment.
"Oh my God! Spider-man! Weasel you didn't tell me you had such a well toned and morally upstanding friend," Wade gasped, fanning himself with his hand.
"You've already met Wasabi, so I'm not sure what you're getting at. And he's not my friend- I just met him like two seconds before you showed up."
Spider-man for his part just looked confused and mildly put off by the other's behavior. Well, as confused and put off as one can when they're covered head to toe in spandex.
"Listen, handsome, I'm totally free later, and I feel like you and I can get into some naughty, naughty business if you know what I mean. And I'm not talking about tax evasion here. I'm thinking of something a lot more sweaty and satisfying- you into maids? Because I have a frilly little number that-"
"Wade," Fred cut off his flirting after taking a look at their new acquaintance. The vigilante had looked more and more uncomfortable with every word that came out of his friend's mouth.
He really didn't have time for this. It had been almost forty five minutes since Tadashi had been taken- who knows what could have happened to him in all that time?! Fred hadn't even found him yet!
"Duck!" Spider-man shouted before leaping over him and nailing a robot in the face. The next few minutes were spent with the three pounding evil robots into the ground and trying not to get killed. There was no time for chit chat.
Well, except from Wade.
"Do you think robots have to do the nasty to have little robot babies? Do you wonder if we're really killing lots of robot parents, and little robot children are going to go to sleep tonight wondering where their mommies and daddies are?"
Fred and Spider-man both ignored him, although sometimes he caught the red and blue hero throwing incredulous looks at his friend.
"Freddy!" Honey shouted as she lobbed a pink ball at a robot in front of him, gluing it to the ground before Wasabi jumped down and cut off its head.
"Oh look, the Spice Girls are here," Wade said, pointing unnecessarily at his friends as they descended with Baymax.
"We found Tadashi," Hiro said, not bothering to deign Wade with a response. "Baymax says his vitals are still holding up."
"Oh thank God." He breathed out a sigh of relief. They still had a chance.
"More friends of yours I take it," Spider-man said, hopping over the decapitated remains of the robot Wasabi and Honey had taken out.
The group looked at the masked man in various states of surprise. "Fred, you know this guy?" Gogo asked.
He tried not to sigh again. "It's very recent. And thanks everyone for using my real name. It makes the mask super useful."
"Excuse you, that mask lets you breathe fire. It's not just there to hide your ugly mug," Hiro retorted.
"You can breathe fire?" Spider-man sounded impressed, but it was always hard to tell what people were feeling under their masks.
"I don't see why you're annoyed anyway, lover boy. It's not like we've ever been into using special code names before," Gogo said.
He threw his hands up in exasperation. "That was back in San Fransokyo! Where it's full of normal, non-super villain people and not killer robot armies!"
They probably could have gone one bickering for another half an hour, but fortunately there were still some people in the group that had their priorities straight.
"Um, guys? Shouldn't we be concentrating on getting Tadashi back?" Wasabi piped up. He looked nervously around at their surroundings.
Oh right.
"I think the fight's dwindling down. I didn't see that many left on the flight over here," Honey pointed out. Their area had been suspiciously robot free since they arrived.
"Okay, then let's get going," said Fred.
"Whoa whoa whoa. Can't we take a moment to look at some of these guys close up? There's some seriously advanced robotics going on here," Hiro said, poking at a deactivated robot with his foot.
Fred tried to look as reproachful as possible under his mask. "Do you even want to save your brother?"
"I do not believe that is necessary," Baymax spoke up to his left.
"Is that a robot?" Spider-man asked, peering closer at Baymax.
Fred shushed him and stepped towards their robotic companion. "What do you mean by that, Baymax?"
"Tadashi is on his way. There." Baymax pointed at an approaching blob in the sky.
Sure enough, it was Tadashi. He was being bridal carried through the air by a very familiar looking super hero.
Fred tried not to stare when Booster Gold dropped down beside them, letting Tadashi uncurl his arms from around his neck to stand on his own. His hand, Fred noted, stayed resting on Tadashi's waist.
"Here we are at last. Guess I'll have to leave you in the hands of your friends now," Booster Gold laughed.
Fred suddenly found a great dislike for the super hero in the last five minutes. He hated him and his stupid blue and gold suit, with all his stupid futuristic technology, and his stupidly shiny gold hair, and his stupidly shiny smile. It took all his effort not to go up to him and rip his hand off of Tadashi.
"Thanks for everything again. I thought I was a goner," Tadashi smiled sheepishly at the man, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.
"Oh it's no problem. How could I let those killing machines keep their grubby hands on a pretty thing like you?" Booster Gold said. Fred almost scoffed at him.
He wasn't the only one either.
Blue Beetle, who Fred was only now noticing, was looking rather unhappy at the whole ordeal. In fact, he looked about as unhappy as Fred felt.
Tadashi was just smiling innocently at him, while the man flirted openly with him. Fred thanked the universe that Tadashi was so completely clueless sometimes.
"But you know if you really want to make it up to me, I do have an idea," he grinned, pulling Tadashi a little closer. Fred almost lost it then, but before he could Hiro stormed forward and pulled his brother out of the other's grasp.
To his credit, Booster Gold didn't seem deterred. He just looked amusedly at the stony faces surrounding Tadashi. "Go on a date with me," he said, grinning obnoxiously. He didn't even pose it as a question. What an asshole.
"Okay," Tadashi said, causing all his friends to whip their heads around to gape at him in shock.
"Great! I'll pick you up tomorrow! Dress casual- I'll find you!" Booster Gold said as Blue Beetle dragged him away with a thunderous expression on his face.
As soon as he was out of sight, Hiro rounded on his brother. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"
"Why did I do what? And do you have to shout? My head hurts from being tossed around like a sack of potatoes by robots," Tadashi replied, pushing his little brother's face delicately away from his.
"What pipsqueak means is: why did you agree to go out with that shiny man you've never met before?" Gogo cut in helpfully.
Tadashi just looked at them in confusion. "Why not? He seemed nice. And he did save me."
"That's not the point!" Hiro shouted. "You've never even been on a date before," he accused, poking Tadashi in the chest.
He frowned at him. "I was busy. Besides, nobody's ever asked me before."
Fred saw some not so inconspicuous glances in his direction, but fortunately for him Tadashi didn't notice.
"I don't see why you're getting so upset, Hiro. What's so bad about me going on a date with him?"
Hiro sputtered, "Because- you can't just- he's not- look, he's not the right guy for you!"
Tadashi crossed his arms in a way that only big brothers could convey their disbelief.
"Really? And who exactly is supposed to be the right guy for me?"
Hiro looked around frantically. "Anyone else want to put their two cents in? Honey? Gogo? Fred?" he asked, eyes wide and pleading.
Fred couldn't say anything though. He went practically catatonic after he heard Tadashi agree to go out with Booster Gold. He felt very numb, and very cold.
Tadashi remained unimpressed. "Right. I'm heading back to the bar. Let me know when you want to be reasonable," he said, stalking off.
Gogo and Wasabi hurried after him- partially to make sure he was alright, and partially to make sure he didn't get snatched by any remaining robots. The rest of them meanwhile, stared after them in silence.
"Um, I know I just met you, but am I right in assuming you...have feelings for that guy?" Spider-man spoke up, reminding everyone of his presence.
Fred pulled his mask off, sinking to the ground so he could properly bury his face in his hands and groan. Why did the universe hate him so much?
Honey kneeled beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Freddy..."
"Oh my God, I'm so dumb. And I'm so screwed. Did you see that guy? With his stupid shiny hair, and his ridiculously white teeth? Oh my God, Tadashi's going to fall in love and get married to that asshole, and I'm going to die alone, pining after him for eternity!" he burst out, flopping onto his back.
"Whoa there, there's no way in hell I'm letting that sleazebag date- much less marry- my brother," Hiro said, crossing his arms and scowling at the sky.
"Look, Freddy, he might not even fall for the guy. They barely know each other. Besides, Tadashi isn't going to be in New York for that long. We're going back home to San Fransokyo in a few days, and I doubt Booster Gold will follow him there," Honey tried to console him. She made some good points, but Fred couldn't help but feel like he was far out of his depth.
He sighed. Maybe if he was lucky one of the robots would miraculously recover and put him out of his misery.
"Good luck with your friend. And sorry things aren't going as smoothly as you hoped. Maybe I'll see you around," Spider-man said before swinging down the street and disappearing.
Fred tried not to sigh again. Great. He finally met an actual super hero and the guy probably thought he was a lovesick loser. He wouldn't exactly be wrong, but it was hardly the impression he wanted to leave. It would have been so much less embarrassing if he had just left after they first met instead of getting distracted by Wade-
Wait a second, where was Wade?
He looked around and found his friend staring at the alleyway Spider-man had left through.
"Wade?"
He turned around slowly to look at Fred with wide eyes. "Did you see that ass? I think I'm in love."
