A/N: Here I am again, after another extended delay. I think I finally have a plan for the rest of the story, so we'll see how it goes. Thanks for taking the time to read this, please take the time to review too, I really appreciate it.
Also, even after all these months, I still don't own Hogan's Heroes. How 'bout that?
"I've thought of that too. If I can convince Klink that telling Burkhalter about the major would be a bad thing, we should be in the clear on that front." Hogan had returned to the barracks with the rest of the men around noon. They had finally finished bringing in the plane and came back for lunch. "In fact, I think I'll go work on him now."
"Do you think he can do it?" Amy asked Newkirk after Hogan had left.
"Are you kidding? The Colonel could convince Klink into thinking that Hitler's a girl. Just leave it to him, no worries."
"How does he do it?"
"You wanna listen in?" Carter asked excitedly. "We've got the coffeepot ready all the time. Like I was telling you before, the Colonel's really smart, and if he wasn't around well golly I don't know what-"
"Carter, why don't you get moving and save our ears?" Newkirk cut him off.
ooooo
"Colonel Hogan here to see you sir." Hilda announced Hogan's presence to Klink.
"Tell him I'm not here."
"Just came to talk with you sir." Hogan pushed past Hilda into Klink's office. "I heard that General Burkhalter was coming to visit." Hogan had Klink's attention now.
"Who told you that? Schultz?" He just nodded in response.
"And I came to offer LeBeau's services as a chef." Hogan responded while holding his cap in his hands.
"Now why would you do that for me?" Klink practically whined at the start of a new confusing session with Hogan.
"Well sir, I thought, if you treat the general to a fancy dinner, maybe with a pretty fraulein involved, you just might be put in for a promotion." Klink seemed to ponder it for a moment.
"Why would you care if I got promoted?" he asked with skepticism.
"It's a matter of pride sir. The boys are starting to get embarrassed with you being a colonel for so long." Klink frowned. "Now if you had LeBeau cook, and find a pretty girl in town to accompany you two officers at dinner-"
"Impossible." Klink interrupted.
"Why?"
"Well, Hilda already has plans, I've asked, and most of the girls in town are already taken for the moment. A panzer unit just returned from the Russian Front, and they all needed someone to warm them up, if you know what I mean." Hogan grinned, but Klink continued. "And all the others, I have already spoken to, and been rejected by." Klink said dejectedly.
"Well what about the major?"
"Hochstetter?"
"No! The female major that is currently residing in your camp."
"That is ridiculous, the general would not want to be in the company of prisoners, no offense Hogan."
"Don't tell him she's a prisoner! If you could get hold of a dress, and convince Hilda to help clean her up, you'd have quite a woman there to sit with the general." Klink looked skeptical again. "Just think, one dinner, and you get a new red stripe for your pants."
"Alright. Tell the major that I order her to eat dinner with us. And if she doesn't, she'll be shot!"
"You know Kommandant? I don't see how all those other girls turned you down. You really know how to treat a lady."
"Disssmisssed!"
ooooo
"Sir?" Amy asked when Hogan returned from the Kommandantur. "Why did you do that?"
"Don't worry major, it's for the best. It won't be that bad anyways."
"You want me to have dinner with two German officers! What am I supposed to talk about? Politics?"
"No," Hogan chuckled, "tell them you're a musician or something. It doesn't matter."
"Colonel, I'm not sure I know how to behave. I am sure that Etiquette for a woman has changed somewhat over the years."
"You'll be fine. Hilda we'll help to doll you up, and then you'll just eat and talk. No problem."
"Yes sir."
"Good. At least you're well practiced in military etiquette. I think these boys could learn a thing or two from you."
A/N: I'm not sure about etiquette for women in the 1940s. If anyone has any information they could give me, I would appreciate it. Please leave a review. Thanks.
