Heyyy guys ok so I am completely stoked for this summer hehehe. For thought's of you who live near Toronto the new ride (Behemoth) at Canada wonderland is going to be available. I am soooo going on that ride, front row centered totally front row center. Anyways I really want this snow to die but it keeps on coming, I mean come on how much better is it when it summer. Your tanned, there is more to do like camping and swimming, even just chillin with friends outside in the warmth lol
Anyways I hope you enjoy my next chap. REVIEW PLEASEEEE
Chapter 8
Dear journal
Ok so I'm not having the best week of my life.
I have to tell yeah Emotion blow.
I had found out earlier this week that I am carrying Edward unborn child and trying my best to keep the secret to myself for now, no it's not the wisest choice I have ever made but my cowardly actions got in my way. I am freaked out beyond belief of Edward leaving me and my baby, I have been sort of cold to him for the last four days and of course he does not understand what I am going though and has been taking defence to it. My emotions have been hitting me forcefully from all angles, one minute I am fine and the next I am braking down crying on the floor. At times when it is only waterworks Edward reaches out and try's to comfort me and ask me about my problems but I just brush him and the subject away. Stupid but true I am angry with him for not being there for me and our unborn child but really it's all my doing, I am guilty for keeping such a precious secret from him because of my own cowardly actions but most of all I am scared of him leaving and having to take care of our baby by myself. Fighting also has been going on a lot with me and him in the last four days, last night he had once again tried to comfort me and I pushed him away like usual.
" Bella did I do something to hurt you?" Edward had yelled from the down stair's railing. I was crying uncontrollably locked in the upstairs bathroom.
"please just leave me alone, I wined. It's not you it's me I could really use some time
alone."
I jump as I heard Edward slamming his fist into the wall. "If you want to break up with me Bella come and tell me instead of making me run circles around you," he yelled his voice scared and hurt. After a lot of yelling and talking I had made him believe that's not the case, still very upset and confused he stormed out of my house telling me if I need him to call his parents house and to top all this miserable shit off I have a best friend with a big birthday party tonight, I really would rather not attend but considering she is my best friend and she would be very upset I have to motivate myself. Dressed in black jeans and a long flowing silk tank top I was ready to go. Edward is picking me up really soon so I should go Journal. Love you.
Sincerely Bella swan.
I shoved my journal under my bed, I walked over to my mirror to do a double cheek on my hair that I had pinned up with long curly pieces coming down the front, then made for my door. Half way down the stair's my front door opened to see a emotionless Edward looking extremely handsome like all ways with dark blue jeans and a button up white shirt that played magnificently with his well toned body, his hair was jelled up at the front. My mouth started watering.
" hey Bella, he greeted me shyly. You ready to go?" I saw the hurt in his eyes, the way ever time I looked at him he would turn away.
"Yeah I just have to get my keys." I walked passed him to fetch my keys on my key rack right near the door.
"you look very beautiful," he told me. I turned around to smile at him but he was right at my back.
"Edward." I gasped. He burned me with his eyes. He lifted his hand to stoke my cheek and slide it down to my neck. I shivered from his touch. He dipped his head down to meet my lips and kissed me with force. I moaned at the demanding need. When he pulled back I whimper until he put his head against my chest.
"What are you doing?" I asked. He lifted his head making eye contacted with me.
"Nothing, he simply said. I just love hearing your breathing." He grabbed my hand taking me out of my daze. "come on we need to get to the party before Alice kills me and feeds my remains to the sharks."
When in the car I felt of wave of sickness pass through me. Edward looked up at me with worry in his eyes. "Are you ok?" I put my hands over my stomach to keep from groaning. "yeah I'm fine, I told him with fake confidence. He turned back to the steering wheel putting his hand on my thigh and rubbing gently. Unwanted Emotions hit me. I wanted him but in the back in my mind sharing passion with him made it harder. Ever time he touched me a wave a guilt flows through me. I moved his hand away and made conversation in a tempt to detract him.
"Aw I forget to get Alice a present." I wined. I heard the steering wheel creek underneath his firm grip.
" I got her something from the both of us, he said coldly. I cringed at his tone. "what did you get," my voice was barely a whisper. "Something that Jasper said she wanted tickets to a play of some sort," he said once again in a tone that made me nervous. " oh, you mean The Phantom of the Opera."
He didn't speck again until we were pulled on the side of Alice's house. "Yeah that's the one," he said getting out of the car. I sighed before I too stepped out.
The hole street was packed with cars, of course Alice was going to invite the whole town I though clenching my teeth. Just my luck. The front yard was already destroyed with toilet paper everywhere and empty beer cups, there was even clothes on the lawn. I cringed at the though of drunken and sweaty naked people. Alice was on the porch surrounded by a big crowd. Edward quickly joined my side as we approached the crowd. Alice looked up to see us approaching with a smile as she danced away from everyone.
"BELLA," she screamed now run toward us. She was wearing her usual tank top and jeans but her hair look amazing it was curled in to ringlets that fell beautifully past her small shoulders. "Happy birthday," I told her as she tightly squeezed me in her arms. She released me and turned to Edward. " Hey buddy," she said to Edward grabbing him in a head lock and messing his hair. Edward pushed her away. "Oh thanks I'm not a dog, he said running his hands throw his hair trying to smoothen it out. I have your present, it's from the both of us." Alice looked like a little kid at Christmas' as Edward reached into his back pocket and pulled out the tickets. "Oooo, Alice awed as she jumped up and down. You got me phantom of the opera. I love you guys." She cried hugging them to her chest.
I turned my head to see Jake approaching us. "Hey Bella," he yelled waving his hand at me. I heard Edward growl low in his throat. "Oh, Edward behave, I warned him hitting him on the shoulder.
Jake was looking handsome as usual as he approached with his dark brown hair long to his shoulder, wearing a black T-shirt and a pair of dark blue pants. He rushed up to me and scooped me up in a bear hug. " Put her down," Edward snapped.
Jake set me down and held his hands up in surrender. " hey chill dude it was just a friendly greeting." Alice did a double take on Edward. "What has your panties in a knot?" She snapped. "nothing I just don't want his slimy hands on my girlfriend." Jake started for Edward but Alice got in the way. "Ok, big boys shall we drink are self's stupid," she said giving Jake and Edward the evil eye before taking my hand and leading us into the house.
When we got into the house there was so many people that it was hard to get from one place to an other. People here were going literally crazy, you had people yelling at the top of there lung in a slur that nobody I hope could understand, there was people jumping off of Alice's furniture like a immature two year old and the next thing I saw made me do a double take in disbelief, aw nice I though there are even naked men comparing there penis sizes. Alice pushed through everyone while leading us upstairs where I hope it is safe. I looked back to see Edward, Jake and Jasper following behind. Alice stop at the top of the stairs and faced me.
" lead them into my room and I'll be right back I'm going to go get my alcohol," she said then quickly rush back down the stairs.
I sighed. This is going to be one long night.
When in Alice's room I took a seat on Alice's bed, Edward joined me rather too close eyeballing Jake. I rolled my eyes at him. Jake and Jasper took a seat on Alice's white leather couch.
" So Jake how have you been doing lately? I asked. He beamed at my question. "Good actually I just bought a motorcycle. It's a black and silver Harley-Davidson," he said with his head held high.
"Aw that's awesome Jake." Edward laughed bitterly. I gave him an irritated look. "what? all I'm saying is that I could go out tomorrow and buy three motorcycles if I wanted too, not that I would anyways there in my option a waist of time and space." Edward was starting to get on my nerves really bad I wanted to hit him where the sun did not shine but before I could speak Jake did. "Well, sorry frat boy, I actually have to work for what I want like a real man," Jake said with a snarl.
The two of them were glaring at each other like always thank the lord Alice came in when she did.
"Looky looky I got hooky," Alice slurred. I arched my brow at her.
"Alice did you happen to drink some on the way back here?" she smiled at me.
"Bella hunny you should know me well enough that I would most defiantly do that."
I laughed at her until I remember that I could not drink. Grate what the hell am I going to tell them. ( "Bella hunny what do you want to drink?" "Oh, nothing for me I don't put potion in my body." "But you drank a shit loud at are last party." "Hahaha oh yeah I forgot about that…") I watch as ever one else literally tackled the alcohol.
"Bella hunny what do you want to drink?" Alice asked.
Shit fuck shit think Bella.
"oh, I'm ok I not feel the best today" I lied.
Oh, god that is the lamest excuse in the world. Alice grabbed her two drinks then wobbled over to me.
"You know if your not feeling good you can go home," She said rubbing my shoulder.
"Know that's ok this is your birthday."
She shrugged then went to sit on Jaspers lap. Edward came over to me with two drinks and tried to hand me one. I shook my head know.
" What's wrong?" he asked.
What's wrong I feel like I am having PMS twenty four seven do to the fact that I am pregnant with your child.
"Nothing just don't feel like drinking tonight I'm not feeling the best." I told him innocently.
Everyone seem to be fine with the fact that I stayed sober while the rest of them got shit faced. I felt bad that I asked them to stay with me in the room keeping them away from everyone else but they seemed not to mind actually they looked like they were having a blast, even Jake and Edward did not get rude with one another, they didn't talk but…
The night was going way better then I had though it would until I heard that one name I despised more then any others.
"CLAIRE" "CLAIRE" "CLAIRE" "CLAIRE" I heard people down stair's cheering.
I groaned at the though of her in the same house with Edward. If she was hear it mostly likely was because of him. She made it very clear the night I beat the fuck out of her that she was not done putting her greasy hands all over him. This night just got a hole lot worse.
"Aw what the fuck is that stupid pig doing here," Alice complained getting up and stumbling out the door.
Jasper and Edward followed behind.
"Where do you think your going? I asked Edward.
He took a big sigh before he turn in my direction.
"I'm going to tell her to leave."
I got up from the bed and walked over to him.
" Then I am going with you,"
He took me by the hand and lead me down stair's into the sea of people. I could hear Alice yelling over everyone.
" I told you that your not invited because of what happened last time Claire!" Alice yelled.
" oh come on Alice, she's with me," a male voice wined.
Me and Edward entered the living room then where sure enough Claire was with her face held high and her eyes narrowed at Alice.
" I told you I don't want you at my party your not welcome!"
Claire seemed not to notice Alice yelling at her because her gaze now was set upon Edward.
" Oh goody, She said with a smirk. I was not sure you were going to show up."
I stepped in front of him possessively but before I could once again put her in her place a guy took her by the arm and pulled her to him.
" Alice I promise that we will not cause any trouble," spoke the unfamiliar guy.
Alice shifted to one side and pointed her finger at the both of them as she spoke.
" Keep her away from trouble, keep her away from my friends and we have know problem but if she starts any drama in my home tonight you will be told to leave and if necessary I will use force."
Claire looked like she was going to shit out fire but she stayed quit. Her and the guy she was with walked out of are view. I walked over to Alice.
"You can stay down here Alice, I'll be ok it's your birthday and I am sure you would want to see other people too."
she offered me a smile.
" Ok, bells but only because other people might be pissed at me."
I watched as Alice danced any from me. I turned to my side to expected Edward to be there but he wasn't. I began to panic. What the fucking wrong with me I though. It's the pregnancy Bella I told me self. My breathing came very sharp and my heart started to pump a mile per minute. There was so many people in this room I couldn't breath right. I pushed my way through all of them until I was finally in the Alice's front lobby. There were still a lot of people in there but not as many. I scanned the room in front of me to spot out Edward but was quickly interrupted by a soft hand on my shoulder. I turned around to find a very drunken Edward looking at me seductively. With out thinking I jumped into his arms.
" Where were you?" I breathed in his ear.
He clutched me tighter.
" Just drinking a little more with some guys I know."
I pushed him away and pouted.
"Come on I can not stand this many people,"
I told him taking his hand and leading him back to Alice's bed room. Half way up the stair's I turned back to look at the sea of people. I spotted Jake with a slender red head. He was of course trying to show off with his chest puffed up like some body builder. I smile at the thought of him being happy with her. Entering the room I watched Edward stumble on to the bed. I closed the door behind me and made my way over to him. He snatched me into his arms and buried his face into my hair.
" Bella I love the way you smell," he breathed.
I nuzzled his face with mine.
" I love the way you say my name when were entwine together."
He bent his head low and nibbled on my neck.
" But most of all I love the way you taste."
He started for my pants but I pushed him anyway.
"Come on Edward stop." I told him pushing him away but he didn't, he continued to tease me with his hands.
"Why," he slurred from under my skin.
I almost laughed at his stupidity. " umm because were are in my best friends room, on her bed and you are piss drunk."
he narrowed his eyes at me. "fine!" he sneered.
I was taking aback by his sudden rudeness. " Are you angry with me?" I laughed.
" As a matter of fact I am!" he yelled getting off the bed to reach for the rest of the alcohol Alice left.
"Why!" I said stopping laughing and raising my voice.
" ha! Why do you think Bella for the last week basically all you have done is yell at me and push me away, how do you think that makes me feel to get turned away from my kisses and affection I try to give and show you. You make me feel like you don't want me anymore Bella and I am dieing every second not knowing what I am doing to cause the problem!"
my head swam with his word. Tear's started to fall down my face. Edward set his drink down on the cabinet and made his way to me. "Bella" he breathed. He sat on the bed beside me and rubbed my shoulder. I was going to have to tell him some time about our baby. You have to do this Bella. Your stronger then this. I pushed his hand away from my arm and got up to face him. In a shy motion I wrapped my arm's around myself for protection.
"Edward I have to tell you something. I have been cowardly before but now you have the right to know what I am feeling."
I watch as his confused face turn very scared and hurt. He got up from the bed so quickly I'm not sure how he did it.
"know Bella please, he said his face going a few shades paler. I can't deal with this."
Before I could say another word he stormed out of the room.
" Edward! I yelled after him.
I wanted so badly to go after him and tell him but my confidence was beating me down. I took a seat on the bed and waited for the tear's.
(E P.O.V)
All this time of waiting for her. All this time of heart ach. I was not sad about this I was angry. What happened to her promises. " Were going to be together forever Edward. I love you more then life Edward. I'll never leave you." She broke ever promise in more ways then one. I made my way down the stair's to find myself crawling back up them. I did not want to be near anyone at this point. My mind was all about her, it always has been. Maybe if I keep my distance from her she will rethink all of this. Maybe I am thinking the worst what if she had something else to tell me. What reason would she have to brake up with me I'll I have done is treated her with love and passion. I growled low in my throat as a image of her and Jacob kissing come into my mind. Now my mind was playing tricks on me. Grate. I sat down on the stair's for a little while trying to make sense of all this until I heard people walking up the stair's toward me. I got up and made for the first room I could find. I opened the door to find too people making out. With out thinking I spoke.
" Get out," I growled.
When the woman pulled away I rolled my eyes. Of course it was Claire the slut could not go five minute's with out physical contact. The guy pulled up his pant's and left the room. She smiled at my seductively as she came closer.
"Where's Bella? she fake pouted. Does she not want you anymore?" I moved away from her as she tried to be near me.
"Shut up Claire and get out," I once again growled.
" oh, I hit a nerve did I, she purred.
I told you she is not go enough for you, you like your sluts." she moved in front of me and smiled. I looked down at her baby blue eyes with fury.
(B P O V)
I had to do something then just sit here and feel guilty. I had to tell him the truth about everything. Even if it broke us. I had to do it now when my determination was still inside me. I got up from the bed and made my way down stair's looking for Edward. I Scand the house. Fuck he was nowhere to be seen. I walk around everywhere possible. Could he have gone home. I saw Alice talking to a bunch of people in the kitchen . I rushed over to her.
" Alice, I panted. Have you seen Edward?"
She looked taken aback.
"No I thought he was with you?"
"He was but we got into a fight and…
I watch as Alice made a O with her mouth.
" Well do you know where he would be? I asked her with a worried tone. " If he is still here, I would think somewhere upstairs' away from people. When me and Jasper get into fights I only want to be alone."
I kissed her on the cheek and literality ran for the stair's witch I had to climb once again. I was really getting sick of the damp thing. I heard Alice shout your welcome as I made it on the landing. Once up there I heard Edward's voice coming from Alice's mother's bedroom. My heart hammering I approached it and stop dead in my tracks as I heard Claire with him.
" oh, come on you don't need her, I'm right here baby," she said with that high pit voice I hated.
I heard Edward laugh coldly. I Wanted to kill Edward for even being in the same room with her and I defiantly wanting to poke her eyes out for seeking him out. I walked to the room that they were in. The door was slightly open. I pushed the door open quietly. The next thing I saw made me tear instantly. Claire and Edward were snuggled up to each other kissing, Claire had her hand on the back of his head. I could not believe what I was seeing. After everything he said to me about him loving me had crumbled down before my eyes. My stomach drew tight and my head started to spin from the pain.
" You Bastard," was all I could manage.
Edward broke the kiss to look up at me. He saw the hurt in my eye as his eyes were full of guilt and worry. I turned the other direction and heading for the stair's. I heard him call out to me. I ignored him. As I headed out the door I searched in my purse for my car keys. I had to get out of here. Away from people. Away from Edward. I found my keys finally As I approached my car. Once I got in and lock the door I fell apart. My hands started to shake and hot tears scorched my face. I took a deep breath and started the car.
(E P.O.V)
I sat on the bed with my head in my hands. I should have went after her I though. No she need's time to think this throw. Claire was still in the room with me I stared at her with hate.
" What are you still doing here, are you happy you gust ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me."She walked closer to me with a frown.
" I'm the best thing that has ever happen to your sorry ass," she told me.
I laughed at that. " No sweet heart you are the worst."
She sneered at me and stomped out of the room. I am a compete jackass I thought. I will never get the hurt that I saw in her eyes out of my head. Alice Appeared in the door.
"What did you do to her! She yelled. I saw her storm out of the house then before I could reach her she was gone!"
I didn't respond to Alice instead I keep my head low. I was to discussed with myself.
"Look at me Edward!" Still I didn't look up. " Claire kissed me and I kisses back," I told her lower then a whisper.
Then did I looked at Alice her face was beat red. "YOU WHAT!!" before she could start screaming Jasper stumbled in the room. His face red and his breathing ragged. He moved in front of Alice.
"There's been an accident."
Alice stood there in shock. " What do you mean an accident," she said with worry. "Bella." At the word Bella I immanently stood from the bed. " We called the police there on there way with an ambulance," Jasper said. I looked at Alice her hole body was shaking. I Couldn't move my body froze.
" What happened," she cried. Jasper took her into his arm's.
" She got into a car crash."
I snapped my self out of shook. " where is she?"I asked my tone unsteady.
"Follow me," Jasper said taking Alice by the hand and leading the way.
When out side it was hard to miss where Bella was there was crowd of people sorrowed the Sean. With out a thought I ran as fast as I could to her. I saw her car first, it was a total wrack the front of it was bunch up to the window shelled. Tear's started to build in my eyes at I pushed through the crowd. All that was going throw my head was what if she was dead, what if I never got to see her beautiful face again. All my thoughts were shatter as I saw hair brushed out of the driver side window. Tear's were streaming down my face then. I rushed to her.
"Bella baby, I cried. You need to talk to me please Bella."
I crouched down to see her frail body in a dangerous position. I slightly stroked her hair as nothing of her responded. I heard the Ambulance sirens then. A wave a relief hit me. I curled my self in a ball beside her and waited. I felt a hand on my shoulder.
" Sir you need to move we have to get to her," I paramedic told me.
" I grabbed the paramedic's shoulder and griped it. "You don't let her die on me, I choked out. You keep her alive."
The paramedic slightly pushed me back.
"Will do everything we can." then he went to her with a bunch more guys with stretcher and a bag on deliberators. I watch in horror as they did everything in there power. I felt someone stand beside me. Alice and Jasper were now at my side. Alice's face was blotchy and red. She put her hand on my four arm.
" Come on Edward all drive us the hospital." I shook her hand away. " I'm not leaving Bella." I told her. Alice huffed. " Edward this is know time to be stubborn, we can't do anything here. The least we can do is be there for her we she arrives at the hospital." She did have a good point. I looked at her and noted in agreement.
(RVH hospital. 2:47 am) (E P.O.V)
I waited nervously for any second for them to rush throw thought's door with my Angel. Alice and Jasper sat on two chair's in silent's while I pasted silently all over the big room. The hospitals assistant eye balled me nervously behind her large desk. I looked at Alice. "Why is this taking so long?" before Alice could respond a bunch of nurse's and doctor's where beside a stretcher rolling it in. I rushed by there side.
"Bella." I whispered.
They stopped in the middle of the room and started talking to each other so fast I didn't understand one thing they said. The hole room went silent as the nurse beside her yelled.
" She's waking up." my heart started fluttering. I moved close to her.
When I saw her Beautiful brown eyes open it was the happiest moment of my life but her eyes were full of worry.
" My baby, she said dropping her hand to her stomach. You have to save my baby! She yelled.
One of the doctor's pushed me out of the way.
" miss swan your going to be just fine, breath slow and try not to move."
I looked in to her eyes they where blazing with fury. Maybe she has a concussion that would explain her talking about baby's. The doctor started to turn away.
" Know you listen to me, she said her voice raisin high. I am pregnant, I am about a week in."
She glanced at my dazed eyes before she started to scream in pain. Faster then I could blink the doctor's and nurses were rushing around her.
" Get her in to emergency now!! Jenny get a baby monitor!! We have a code red on are hands people, if we don't act fast she will lose the baby!!"
After the doctor was done yelling at as his assents to do things. They rushed her into Emergency I tried to follow but the doctors and nurse\s pushed me back. I put up a fight but in the end it was useless. I stood in the door way helpless with my head swimming with shock and worry. I could feel my body shaking and my knee's starting to give out. I flopped to the floor and curled in a ball. My whole world gust turned up side down. What have I done.
Hey everyone I hope you enjoy that hehehe I love this chapterJ
PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE
LOVE YOU ALL
WENDY.
