AN/ OMG it's been forever. Needless to say I'm sorry. A lot's been going on for me. (Heart surgery, for example. Don't worry I'm fine. Also school.) Anyway, I'm back. If you've noticed, I've fixed the summary up; it kinda sucked.
Robin had learned years ago that life wasn't fair. She thought occasionally that perhaps things should be unfair to her advantage once and awhile, but she supposed that was just another level of unfairness in an ugly, ugly world.
This knowledge didn't make her want to scream with frustration any less. Because there was no justice in her life. She wondered if this was the world's response for the recent happiness she'd found with the Strawhats: to rip it away. She wished that there was a god that she could blame for this.
It only took three syllables to ruin everything that was good in her life. One minute she was smiling and ready to investigate the history of the city with Chopper and the next she was forming a plan of action. She couldn't run, that was out of the question. Leaving by herself would destroy her unsuspecting crewmates, and she doubted she'd make it away in time with them. Besides, how long would it be before they decided she was too much trouble? Beofre they realized she brought trouble and pain in her wake?
Even though she knew what this would mean for her, she simply couldn't see her friends ripped apart like her home and family had been. It was half in a daze that she made her deal with the World Government. She negotiated without much life, already surrendered, willing to do anything to protect her crew. She'd never imagined that she even would make a deal with these scum, but it was worth it. By god it was. The thought of any of her crewmates being hurt was intolerable. She couldn't have loved them more if they were her own flesh and blood. The very words Buster Call were enough to make her shrink in fear; when applied to her friends, they were paralyzing.
Still, her life was coming to an end soon - she had sold herself. There were two things to blame in the end. One was the World Government. She hadn't thought it was possible to hate it more than she already did. They were a plague on the world and her life. The second was herself. Her selfishness was the reason this had happened after all. Her Nakama were in danger now because she hadn't been able to let them go, and now she would pay for it.
And therefore it wasn't very hard a decision to make, to turn herself in for them. It did hurt that she had to make the appearance of betraying her nakama. She did the CP9's bidding, wore their clothes and their mask. She shot a man in cold blood and couldn't bring herself to feel guilty. She'd do anything to keep them safe.
She had to say goodbye. There was really no away around that. She completely reigned in her emotions as she said goodbye to Sanji and Chopper. They were so shocked that it hurt her a little. They trusted her so and now they thought she didn't return the sentiment. But it was how things had to be.
She was even given a small chance to say goodbye to Luffy, which was painful but still a gift. His screams echoed in her head afterwards. It was only because of years of experience that she was able to ignore her frustration and saddness and let nothing show as her Nakama were thrown around.
She wanted to break Lucci's neck. She imagined killing him, fantasized about growing hands all around him and snapping his spine. Of course, she was trying to shut down her protective feelings and emotions altogether, but knowing what the man had done to Luffy and Zoro made her thirst for revenge.
Now they had to leave Water 7 and be safe, or else all she had done would be pointless. Robin was sure with how betrayed they must be feeling that they would leave her to her fate. She forcibly removed her mind from what was sure to become of her after Ennis Lobby and focused on the fact that her crew would be safe.
And the train carried her away.
Later, she felt the strangest mix of anger and love when she learned that they had followed her. They were fools. Did they have no sense of self-preservation or were they just doggedly convinced of her goodness?
She couldn't even find Usopp's ridiculous disguise amusing. She tried again and again to cut herself off from them, not even escaping with them when she had the chance. Didn't they know they were just making this harder for her? Well, no, obviously they didn't, but didn't they think she'd betrayed them? Why wouldn't they just leave her? Goodness has its limits, although they seemed to be trying to prove that wrong.
But after the train had been split in half she was sure that it was over. Even if they did want to follow her farther, they hardly could now. The only thing that she regretted was that Franky was captive alongside her; he seemed like a kind man who did not deserve the same end as her. She tried to resign herself to her fate.
She was tired - maybe it was good that her life was about to end. And she might have welcomed death, a few months ago. But now she had her Nakama, her family. She was fine - no more than fine - happy to die for them, but she'd rather live for them. They'd restored her dream, made her feel as she hadn't in years.
But it would be good to rest, to stop struggling. She could feel at peace knowing her Nakama were safe.
AN/ Anyone know what the chapter title's from? Sorry if this wasn't that good. It's more of transition chapter. Poor Robin has some serious trust issues.
To Idontreallyhaveaname: Thanks for all your lovely reviews. I am continuing now, but sorry it's been so long.
I hope to finish this within a few months.
