Random Encounters
Chapter Eight- Joltik vs Blushing
After it was clear Wolf was long gone, Palutena sat back down with a pouty look on her face and her arms crossed. However, she didn't stay there for even long enough for Peach to read the next question, as she quickly stood up and walked out, muttering "I can get my own *CRUMBS* Cinnamon Sticks!" under her breath. Everyone made very sure not to acknowledge the Narrator's censorship, despite it sounding hilarious, and just got up to get their pizza and sat back down.
(Unknown to the players, in a nearby room, Ness cheered. "Told you she'd be the first to leave!", he boasted to the others in that room. "Now pay up!" Wario then growled at him as he handed the young psychic money that was most likely counterfeit, for he had bet the kid a rather lot that Dark Pit would be the first to bail.)
Peach began to compose herself once more and read off the next question, but quickly realized with the goddess on a cinnamon stick run, that would be impossible. "Er, alright, so the next question involved Palutena, so I'll just skip that one for now," she reported. No one really cared, not even Pit, who knew he was the other person in said skipped question. "Okay, so Ro- er, Reflet is giving Ike a massage. Is this okay?"
Bright red spread across Reflet's face as the author realized she hadn't been coming up with many creative ways to say someone was blushing. She then decided to search the previous chapters to figure out how many times she'd described blushing in that precise manner. To her surprise, it was only four times, but that still seemed like a bit much, so she decided she'd try to think of better ways to say it.
Anyways, Reflet was burning up with embarrassment. "I-I- er, um," he stuttered out. "D-don't you think th-that'd be coming on a bit strong?", he questioned. "I mean, Lord Ike's already in love with the Hero King, Naga knows how that happened, and I don't want to make it seem as if I'm, er, how do I put this, breaking the bro-code?"
Ike simply shrugged in response. "I don't think that's really breaking the bro-code unless you're doing it to be flirty. If you're just trying to be nice, I'm sure Marth wouldn't care."
"Peach, that's a bit of a loaded question," Marth complained. "As your friend, I kindly ask you not to give the shippers any more ammo to use against my love life than they already have, and that includes those Ike x Reader self inserts you wrote a while back."
It was Peach's cheeks turn to blaze with the flame of mortification. She hadn't thought Marth had known her Fanfiction account name was xXPeachBlossomsXx, let alone read any of her stories. That one had been deleted ages ago, so how long had he been reading her stuff? Did he know about that one story she'd written about him and Roy? The way he was staring at her, with his eyebrows raised and frowning certainly implied so.
She quickly decided to change the next question, which involved him, to involve someone else, and it took less than three seconds to realize this could be worked to her advantage. Cheerily, she declared "Next question! Lucina is choking! Quick, what does Shulk do?"
"CPR," replied the seer flatly. "I mean, isn't that what you're supposed to do?"
Lucina gave a nod. "I would think that answer would be self-explanatory."
A huff of annoyance escaped Princess Peach's mouth. She had meant for it to come across as an invitation for something romantic, but before she could think of a way to make it so, Robin caught her eye and waggled her finger in a "nuh-uh~" motion, which sort of looked like a cross between Anna's finger-chin pose and Sonic's title screen waggle. So, she simply sighed and read out the next thing.
"Lucas and Link are locked in a closet together! What do they do?", she read, and Lucas gave her a look of utmost contempt while Link's face burned with the fury of a thousand PK Fires. The author then realized that her new-and-improved blush-metaphors were far worse than the original, and quickly decided to return to shades of red and forget the burning ones had ever been written.
"I- um, are you implying something?", Link questioned with a nervous shutter, and everyone stared at him, as his worry implied far more than Peach's question ever had. He realized this almost at once, and quickly facepalmed in response.
Palutena then reappeared in the room with a box of cinnamon sticks and proceeded to answer Peach's question. "Never mind, it seems Link just unlocked it!", she cheerily teased.
Link's feeble assurance of "I'm not actually gay, you know…" was lost to the clamor of everyone rushing to grab one of the cinnamon sticks the goddess had brought, and even if they had, all the guys would have been very sad over this, because even the straight ones could agree they'd gladly make out with Link.
This seemed to Peach to be a perfect time to switch subjects, before Lucas, or god forbid Rosalina went ballistic on her. "Okay, we can do the Palutena question now! Pit tells Palutena a scary story. What does Palutena do afterwards."
A mighty eye-roll came from the mighty goddess. "Nothing, because Pit's scary stories all suck."
"That's not true!", Pit shouted. "I have plenty of really scary stories!"
The goddess gave her servant a rather condescending look. "Oh really?", she questioned. "If so, then please, share it."
With a deep breath, Pit launched into an oddly deep voice and began to tell a story. "You're walking through the Lost Woods. There's no one around, and your guide fairy has gotten eaten by Timberwolves. Quite obviously, you're lost." ("Must be if you saw Timberwolves," Dark Pit dryly added, getting jabbed by Shulk in the arm for his efforts.) "And then," Pit continued. "Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him: Waluigi."
"Yeah, we've heard enough," Palutena interrupted. "Like I said, you can't do horror."
"Wait, I'm not done!", protested Pit. "I haven't even gotten to the interpretive dance or the part about the bear trap! Come on, I had a choral arrangement and everything!"
The idea of an interpretive dance was close enough to horror that Palutena decided to sent Pit flying through the roof with the Power of Flight to save face, and also the vestiges of sanity clinging to a select few in the room.
AN- If the Link joke was offensive in any way, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to be so. In other news, I've actually made an account on here with the name Peach gave, and I'll probably be using it as a Peach roleplay account. Not saying I plan to post any of her terrible Yaoi fics on there, but I might. Also, everyone seemed to think that Space Florida was a reference to Dragonball Z Abridged, which I know nothing about. Actually, it was a reference to Doctor Who, as the location was briefly mentioned in the Season 5 finale of the revived series. However, Pit's "horror story" was another reference, and maybe I won't have accidentally made it sound like one to something else this time. Thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik
