AN - I hadn't intended this one to be so long but Jim took the chapter and ran away with it. Some really important issues came up and I had to let Jim his way. I felt the topic too important to glance over and still get a message across.
'Hubble bubble, toil and trouble,' Jim teased, leaning over to see what simmered in the cooking pot. The ambient air temperature finally fell below eighty. In the Hell Hole it felt twenty degrees hotter, causing Jim to wonder how much cooler it might be in winter.
'One more comment from you Mr Frayne,' Trixie attempted to blow the matted hair out of eyes, 'and you'll be the one canning tomatoes so we'll have something fresh to eat this winter.'
'Thanks for the offer,' he continued to grin, sweat dripping from his brow, 'but I'll pass.'
The end of June warmed the days. The nights became bearable in the sleeping cave if they slept without clothing. Any breeze didn't make it into the Hell Hole turning July into a month long bake as the blazing sun reflected off the packed earth, warming the rocks and intensifying the heat. During the middle of the day the glare hurt their eyes. Jim and Trixie usually retreated to Water Cave for several hours to avoid the heat.
They'd taken to sleeping in the open during the first week in July. It effectively gave the young couple a green light to deepen their physical relationship. Jim attempted to keep his libido contained. He found it almost impossible without the support of his self-imposed rules. When Trixie refused to wear clothing during the day, claiming they'd become comfortable with each other's bodies, they rapidly rounded third base a few days before Jim's birthday. Now a few days into August, Jim's fear of wandering around their home naked had vanished.
'I've checked on all the trees. Of the twelve trees we planted, only eight survived last week's hot spell,' Jim commented with a grimace. Both of them worked hard to keep the saplings growing straight and strong. The three most promising perished in the unusually warm weather wearing down any hope of escape. They'd found consolation in each other's arms, solace as lips explored territory previously off limits and this new expression of their emotions made them feel euphoric.
'The two on the south wall,' Trixie pointed with her makeshift ladle, 'don't look very healthy. I'm afraid we're going to lose them too.'
'I hope not,' Jim sobered. 'Don't you think it strange, the fastest growing trees are the ones that died?'
'No,' Trixie frowned, 'Moms lost plants the same way in our garden at Crab-apple farm. I think they use so much energy and water in growing that the heat disrupts them more easily. At least that's my opinion.'
'Science lesion, Trix,' Jim teased, wondering how they'd ever catch up with their class mates and all the school time they'd lost.
'I hate to say it,' she grinned back sharing a moment of bittersweet homesickness she saw in Jim's gaze, 'but I really miss school. I thought it hard to sit in a classroom day in and day out. In reality, it's so simple in comparison to attempting to survive here.'
'Me too,' Jim agreed before shielding his eyes from the intense sunlight. 'The last seeds you planted didn't germinate well,' he changed the topic quickly so neither could become disheartened by all they missed.
Looking toward water cave, Jim placed the delicate new saplings in entry to the cooler environment, hoping they might do better than their predecessors. 'Three of the new seeds turned out to be shrubs. No way would they grow tall enough to get us out of here!'
'At least they'll give us some shade in the middle of the Hole,' Trixie attempted to remain optimistic.
'Next year,' Jim burst her bubble, 'maybe. You know I got to thinking about all that wood, maybe we could build a fire one night, when it cooler and roast a rabbit. It'd make a nice change from boiled everything'
'You really think we'll be here long enough for it to get cool?' Trixie tried to hold on to some shred of a potential escape. The death of her trees seemed to signal the demise of any hope.
'I hate to say it,' Jim hesitated, his green eyes displaying disappointment, 'but yes. I'm starting to plan for a very cold winter at this altitude.'
'Maybe we'll get lucky,' Trixie attempted to lighten the situation. While she didn't like it any more than Jim, the situation made him anxious and insecure. Sometimes Trixie felt the need to booster his flagging self-confidence, especially when it concerned her wellbeing. Those seemed to be the incidents which affected Jim the most.
As thought the idea conjured them, a strange vibration set up a harmonic in the Hell Hole. Soon a rhythmic humming rent the air. Emerging from the overhang protecting the heated pool, Jim and Trixie examined the sky.
'There,' Trixie shouted, excitedly pointing to a rapidly moving aircraft on the horizon. Her heart in her mouth, hope sprang back in one intense moment. No less affected, Jim took a moment to overcome his exhilaration. Images of Trixie's life before their abduction filled her mind. At the top of her list, seeing her parents and siblings again. 'I think it might be a plane,' she shouted, grabbing Jim in anticipation and doing an impromptu dance.
'No,' Jim disagreed, his green eyes shining with tears of joy, 'I'm sure it's a helicopter.' Sobering immediately, he watched the craft hover above the treetops in the distance. 'It's a long way from here, Trix,' he warned. Jim's moment of elation rapidly evaporating as his mind calculated the chances being seen.
'We need to capture the pilot's attention,' Trixie sounded desperate, comprehending Jim's caution.
'Go grab your Bob White jacket,' Jim demanded, 'it's the only red thing we have. Against this limestone, it might attract some interest. Get my white undershirt while you're at it. We can wave them in the air. Maybe the movement will stand out against all this green.'
Four months, Trixie considered, and this maybe our only hope of rescue. Running to the sleeping cave, she collected the items of clothing Jim requested. The entire time her heart beat increased as the adrenalin mounted in her bloodstream. Rushing back into the light, Trixie knew the moment she saw Jim's face.
'It's gone,' he stated sadly.
They waited, Trixie with her red BWG jacket in her hand, Jim with his white shirt in his. An hour passed without the chopper returning. Still they waited. Finally the sun began to approach the western rock face signalling dusk.
'The dead trees,' Trixie had to find something positive in the situation before they both burst into inconsolable tears. Giving her a strange look, Jim merely nodded, requesting she continue. 'We need to stack them in the middle of the hole. That way if anyone else comes this way, we can light a fire to attract attention. If we put all the labels from the cans in the centre as kindling, it should start the fire quickly enough.'
Shoulders slumped in resignation, Jim understood his special girls reasons. If he had something to do, something physical, he'd be able to keep his disappointment at bay. The threatening depression, an emotion at the edge of both his and Trixie's conscious, might descend. If either of them became dejected and disheartened, their chances of survival decreased dramatically. With only each other, Jim relied on Trixie to remind him why he struggled every day to get out of the Hell Hole.
'The woods too green to burn at the moment,' Jim stated, 'but it won't take long in this heat to dry it out.'
'Come on,' Trixie urged, taking the white shirt from Jim's limp hand, 'I'll put theses away, then help you.'
'You need to finish up with the tomatoes,' Jim reminded, 'before we run out of light.'
Both toiled until they the sun darkened the sky. While the full moon gave them enough light to continue working, Trixie and Jim stoped at the same instant. By unspoken mutual agreement, a single look communicated how much they needed to be in the other's arms. After a simple salad made from the garden, they retired to the bathing pool to remove the dirt from the days toil.
Consolation came in the form of light touches, lips nuzzling and fingers marauding. Mouths explored more intimate erogenous zones, delighting, gratifying and satisfying a deep seated need to be intimately connected. Finally, unable to hold his passion, Jim led them in to the oldest dance known to man, the ultimate joining. Trixie bit her lip while enduring the initial pain she knew to be a rite of passage. Her expectations of making love with the man she adored didn't come close to the actual act. Reading suggested girls who did a lot of horse riding had a much easier time. Wrapped up in the romantic notion of making love, the actual experience didn't come close to her expectation.
The moment it ended, Jim knew, knew he'd hurt Trixie. Not quite understanding how, he reached out to hold her close in an attempt maintain the fading bond between them. Anticipating his actions, Trixie turned her tear stained face away. It opened a physical and psychological chasm. She didn't want to wound Jim but the hurt Trixie suffered made her numb to his pain.
'Talk to me, Shamus,' Jim pleaded, suddenly feeling ashamed he'd allowed his passion to overcome his good sense. Remorse overcame him as he watched Trixie shudder at his words. 'I know we didn't plan this…'
'You hurt me,' Trixie accused, no longer able to contain her tears. 'I know you didn't mean too, Jim, but it hurt more than I expected. It hurt the whole time. I…I don't think…don't think I ever want to do that again.'
'Shamus, look at me,' Jim begged. When he got no response to his entreaty, he moved to give Trixie some space. Hating the distance he felt between them when they should have been basking in the afterglow, he sighed inwardly to keep his insecurities well hidden. Facing his demons, James Frayne took a deep breath and opened his heart by confessing, 'I'm…I was as naïve about this as you, Shamus. At college I had plenty of opportunity to lose my virginity. The girls kind of threw themselves at me. A lot of the time I wondered if they were attracted to me or my father's wealth. It really didn't matter. My heart always belonged to you. I never had any intention of sharing my body with anyone else. I…I love you. I…I always have.'
A slight change in Trixie's position alerted Jim to the fact she listened intently to everything he said. Feeling on slightly steadier ground, he forced the words to continue. 'I remember the first moment we met, well I looked out that window while you and Honey discussed breaking into Ten Acres. I still had a few weeks until I turned fifteen. But I knew…even then…you'd be the only I'd ever wanted in my life. I still can't believe I pointed a shotgun at you. Then in Iowa, I gave you that bracelet. You have no idea how much it means to me, seeing it on your wrist. Every time I came home from college, the sliver reminded me of the promise I made to myself. All these years, it gave me hope that one day we might be together in every sense of the word. I'm so sorry this didn't live up to your expectations.'
'I,' Trixie hesitated before turning to face him. Her blue eyes miserable, she swallowed hard. The next sentence might be the most important she'd ever uttered in her entire life. Still the word's stuck in her throat. 'I…I think…maybe…'
'Maybe what, Shamus,' Jim waited earnestly for a response. He knew the only way for them to overcome this situation relied on open and honest communication. As hard as listening to Trixie complain about his technique became, Jim knew it to be the only way forward. He'd wait all night if that's what it took for Trixie to open up.
'I think you might have been in too much of a rush,' she managed to get the sentence out but it sounded like one single long word. Embarrassed beyond belief, Trixie had to force the rest out, 'I never felt…not like when you…when we go down on each other. I thought it would be like that but it just hurt.' Sobbing, she could hardly get the sounds out, 'it hurt so much.'
'You're right,' Jim agreed, kicking himself. The moment Trixie made the statement his logical brain finally kicked in and analysed what went wrong. 'I remember overhearing some guys in my dorm talk about foreplay. They'd had a lot of experience. I kind of hung around and listened.'
Eyes wide with surprise, Trixie lifted her swollen face, finding it hard to reconcile this with Jim's honourability. The emotions crossing her mobile face brought the slightest smile to Jim's lips. 'Sometimes, Shamus,' he explained, 'the only way to learn is through listening. So I took in all they said. Until tonight, I didn't truly understand what they spoke about. I promise, next time…' the horrified look Trixie sent him, caused Jim to shudder. He tried valiantly to hold it in. 'There will be a next time Trix,' Jim promised, 'and it will be so different from this time you'll change your mind, I promise.' Watching her disbelief, he added, 'we'll wait until you're ready. When it happens, I'll take the time to make sure we both get the same level of pleasure out of making love.'
Nodding dumbly, Trixie felt the need to be alone. Sighing heavily, Jim climbed out of the pool, leaving his special girl to think about all he'd said. Before he could leave, he needed to boost his flagging self-confidence.
'You do believe me,' Jim asked in a pleading tone, 'don't you Shamus.'
'I…I don't know, Jim,' Trixie sounded miserable. 'Maybe,' she added at the look of desolation in his green orbs.
Heading into the sleeping cave, Jim settled his body into the sand. They hadn't slept here in almost a month. They hadn't slept alone since the abduction. Jim missed the warm body lying alongside his. Jim mourned the loss of the bond he formed with Trixie. As an exhausted sleep finally overcame him, Jim wondered if they could repair the damage to their relationship.
AN – I had at least another couple of hundred words to write, but decided what the heck….I love cliff hangers.
