Chapter 8

Okay, so this chapter is a bit sad…. Part of why it's rated M for safety, but don't worry, it lightens up a bit :)

Korra and Amon sat on the couch, both having finished their tea some time ago, but neither knowing of what to do now. The room was cold, but they were low on firewood, he was sure the staff would have picked them up by now, so starting a new fire hadn't crossed Amon's mind when he first woke up, but now that he could feel Korra shivering from where she sat next to him, he got decided it was probably best to just start the fire.

"Do you think they're come for us soon?" Korra asked as he got to his feet.

"I'd like to say yes, but I don't know." he replied, tossing some fire in the fire place and lighting it. He frowned, the fire would only last a few hours and there were only a few more pieces of timber left, that wouldn't do.

"What are you doing?" Korra asked cautiously from the couch.

"I have to go get what I chopped last night, this fire isn't going to last very long otherwise." He replied as he buttoned up his coat, his back turned to her as he spoke.

"We have the blanket, we'll be fine."

"The blanket can only be so warm Korra." He didn't want to say flat out that he was trying to make space from her and that sharing a blanket wasn't helpful for his goal.

"Then, I'm going with you." Korra cried and dashed over to put her own coat on.

"Korra, I'll be fine." Amon sighed, turning to look at her, her big blue eyes stared up at him wordlessly begging him not to go. "Korra." he sighed again, "Do you want to freeze?"

"No, but I don't want something to happen to you again, I don't want to be left alone up here again." she admitted, looking away. How could he say no when she put it like that?

"Korra." he said grabbing a firm hold of her shoulder, "I'm going to be fine, just wait here for me." he assured her as he tried to guide her back to the couch, but he could tell by the way she set her jaw, that it wasn't going to be that easy.

Ten minutes later, Korra and Amon stepped outside with shovels and began making their way towards the woods. Amon tried everything but tying her to the damn couch to get her to stay behind, but stubborn as always, Korra talked him into somehow letting her come along with him. Then again, now that he could see that the snow was almost at his waist, having her along to help him shovel may not have been such a bad thing after all.

"So, is the weather usually this crazy?" Korra asked as she shoveled the snow aside trying to hide the disappointment that her snowman had been destroyed in the blizzard.

"No, not usually. I checked the weather before we left too and it mentioned nothing of a blizzard.

Korra laughed and threw him a teasing glare, "Now, now you should know by now that anytime I'm involved, nothing goes as planned." Amon laughed, a slow chuckle that somehow managed to sound genuine. If only she knew how much things weren't going as planned 'If she wasn't so damn naive, nice and attractive, maybe things would have been going as planned and I wouldn't have to worry about things getting out of control.' Amon huffed as he looked over to Korra's whose face was adorably red from the cold and exertion. He rolled his eyes in frustration. So he hadn't really fallen for her yet, but he did plan to go outside alone to clear his mind before things got any weirder for him. He was 40 and attractive or not, she was 17, he didn't want to be with her, but fundamentally, she was his type, and her sticking up under him last night didn't help the fact that he was a male and she was a female and fundamentally, that would have an effect on him mentally and physically.

Settling his mind on fully concentrating on shoveling the snow, he tried his best to ignore Korra's presence as he got his mind together, the serious expression on his face confusing Korra.

Korra glanced over at Amon, to see him with an expression she'd never seen before. His brows were knit as he shoveled, eyes intense, he was concentrating deeply on something. For a second Korra wondered what was on his mind and even thought to ask him, but she already felt as if she was kind of intruding on his space, she didn't need to get into his mind as well, he should at least have that much.

The snow that Korra had been so amazed by just the day before had so suddenly become her enemy overnight. The pure white color was blinding as the sun reflected off of it, the fluffiness of it suddenly feeling as if it weighed tons. The walk to the woods that had only been ten minutes the day before, took four times as long after digging all the way towards the stack of wood and shoveling it out, the entire time, Amon was silent as death.

It wasn't until the two had dumped their armfuls of wood into the storage bin and started a new fire that Amon spoke again as Korra took off her coat.

"How did you manage to live during winters out there?" Amon asked, eyes fixed in the fire in front of him, his own coat hanging loosely in his hand, "When you lived on the streets I mean."

"Just stayed inside the best I could and stay close to my friends. Body heat has always worked when there were no blankets around." Korra smiled as she fixed her eyes on the fire too, thinking fondly back to the times she spent with her friends in their broken home. Sure where they lived wasn't pretty, but it had been her home, and in an odd way, she missed it.

"You were lucky to have had your friends." Amon went on, eyes still on the crackling fire but voice oddly….sad almost, "Why did you have to live on the streets anyway?" Amon asked suddenly, turning to face her, seeming genuinely confused, he couldn't think of a reason for her parents to abandon her. A silence came over them and only the sound of the wood crackling could be heard. Amon was just thinking that he may have tried to dig too far into her life too fast when she broke the silence.

"My mother," she started, Amon was the first person who had taken her in and actually cared unconditionally. At this point, she liked to think that there was a bit of a bond between them, a friendship almost. Him being the first person to hear the whole story wouldn't be so bad, Mako, Bolin and Asami never knew the full story of what happened, they knew better than to ask and Korra didn't have a chance to open up about it. She never had a chance to open up about the thing that she knew she woke up silently sobbing about almost every night. Never had a chance until now, "And my father were killed when I was a child." Korra closed her eyes and took a deep breath, readying herself to jump from this emotional diving board, "A robber shot them when they wouldn't give up their car because they said there was something important inside." Korra stopped speaking again as the memory replayed in her mind.

It was the middle of the night, they were coming home from her birthday party, they had been laughing together as they made their way to the car, and holding Korra's hands. They placed her in the car and were about to get in themselves when a man dressed in black came dashing around the corner. He was out of breath, there was something shining in his hands under the street lights. His voice was panicked, he kept pointing at the car and yelling at her mother, pointing the shiny object at her father and mother. Korra didn't know what was happening, but she was scared.

"Mommy!" Korra cried from inside the car. She was beating on the windows frightened. Korra's mother didn't answer, but instead turned to her husband who was saying something to the robber, but it angered him he was saying he didn't have time for this. Korra saw her mother looking frightened, saw her turn and unlock the car, saw a shocked look on her face as an explosion filled the night air.

"Mommy!" Korra shrieked, leaping from the car on the side farthest from the situation. She could hear her father yelling now, she could hear fighting.

Korra ran over to her mother nearly tripping over her birthday dress as she fell to her mother's side. Her mother had a hole where her heart was, it wouldn't stop bleeding, blood was getting all over Korra's small hands and she tried to stop the blood from coming out.

"Run." she gurgled, stroking Korra's hair as Korra pulled her mother's head onto her lap, pushing her little hands over the hole in her mother's chest even harder, seeing that it wasn't working.

"Mommy." Korra choked.

"Shhh, just run, Korra's a strong girl right? You can do that right?" the words her mother spoke were struggled as her father went on fighting the man with the gun, neither of them noticing Korra.

"Mommy?" Korra asked as her mother smiled one last time, before her eyes went far away, "MOMMY!" Korra was screaming now, grabbing her mother's face trying to wake her up, to no avail.

"Korra!" Her father cried, turning to face her, freezing during the scuffle with the man. Freezing just long enough for the man to aim and fire, shooting Korra's father in the head, sending blood flying all over her. The man turned and pointed the gun at Korra who had frozen in shock, covered with the blood of her parents in her birthday dress and pretty curls that her mother had done for her that morning. She couldn't think what to do as the man's crazed eyes bore into her for a split second and then police sirens were headed their way. The man ran off leaving Korra, her parents and the car altogether and then Korra was crying loudly as bright lights came flashing into view.

"Shhh, shh it's okay." A voice called from the shadow's, "It's scary to deal with them, won't you come with me?" a voice of an man was coaxing from the shadows. A confused Korra stumbled towards him, more scared of the policemen than the kind sounding stranger. The man took her by the hand and they walked for hours until the were out of the area where she lived with her parents and into the slums. It felt wrong, something felt wrong. The man told her to wait outside while he went into a store, Korra nodded, but ran the first chance she got. Not a single person here even looked at the little girl covered in blood, but acted as if it was totally ran until she ran into a little girl who asked why she was crying, but Korra couldn't speak , she was too afraid. The girl looked at Korra's blood covered clothes and took her hand, offering her somewhere safe to go, that little girl had been Asami, and the safe place was living with her Mako and Bolin. Even after going to live with them, it was a week before Korra would eat and two years before she began talking knew Korra's parents were dead, but never asked what happened, afraid that Korra would end up how she was when she first came to live with them.

"Korra?" Amon asked placing a hand on her shoulder after her long silence.

"We were coming home from celebrating my birthday and they wouldn't give him the car because I was in it, my dad died because I didn't run when she said to!" Korra was yelling eyes still shut as the memories played in her head again. "I-I couldn't stop the bleeding and she died, I started crying and he shot my father. Their blood was all over me!" she was losing her breath, hyperventilating, when Amon gently gripped her shoulder in reassurance. The story may have been broken, she may not have given him all of the details, but he got the situation.

"I-I was the reason they died, if I hadn't been there, if it hadn't been my birthday, if I hadn't been born, they'd be alive now." Korra was on her feet screaming now and pacing, "I should be dead." she murmured, eyes desperate for something, for something that she didn't know what it was, just anything to fill the void she felt every time she her tear filled eyes, she could see Amon's face wretch in pain as if he knew the feeling, she wondered if he did know the feeling.

"I should have been dead so many times, so why am I still here?" she fell to the ground, too many emotions washing over her as the breakdown she knew was going to happen after so many years of holding everything in and being brave washed over her.

"You are alive for a reason." Amon rose from the couch as he spoke, voice filled with a kindness she had never heard before, it was soft and warm. The emptiness inside of her heart wanted that warmth closer.

"It's so tiring." she sobbed again, "I thought I was going to die the day you found me, I thought your voice was calling me to leave this world and be with my family again. I was happy thinking I would die. I'm supposed to be so strong, cuz I'm Korra, but I was happy thinking I'd die. Funny huh?" she let out a half snort half sob as she gazed over at the fire, and away from Amon as Amon remembered her talking to herself about her parents the day he picked her up off of the streets.

Amon cringed as he looked at her from where he was. He wanted to make space, he wanted to keep himself from getting his feelings confused, but here she was breaking down, the strongest girl he's met, breaking down after years of holding it all in. Seeing people seeming weak usually disgusted him, but seeing someone so strong suffer so long and break, was saddening. Perhaps because it reminded him of himself. Korra's body racked with another silent choked sob as her hands grabbed onto the carpet for dear life as if it was the only thing keeping her tied to the world. 'Ah, dammit, I can make space when this vacation is over.' Amon told himself inwardly as he lunged forward and pulled her close.

"You are an outstanding young lady, you hear me?" He murmured in her ear as her hands let go of the carpet and clenched the back of his sweater, while she went on roaring with tears the whole time, "You must have a reason to live if you're alive now. Honestly, if I thought you were someone the world would be better without I would have left you to die on the streets to die Korra, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. People like you just don't survive after all of the hardship, it takes a special kind of person to live the way you have and still be so strong and moral" Amon assured her, gently stoking back her hair as he tried to calm her the best he could. She didn't respond, but instead buried her face into his chest, sobbing harder now, but he kept stroking back her hair, trying the best he could to calm her.

She cried for hours as the memories left and returned, but Amon didn't let her go even when she nodded off against his chest, exhausted from the crying. Amon picked her up, walked over to the couch and sat, resting her on his lap so that her head was still resting on his chest, afraid that a sudden absence of warmth might wake her. He pulled the blanket over them and sighed; his people still hadn't come to get them, at this rate, he was never going to get space from this girl! He glanced down at her, now that she was fully asleep, eyelashes glistening with tears, face soaked, red and puffy, she looked oddly adorable. Without really thinking, Amon wiped her tears away with his thumb and then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her wet cheek before sighing in frustration. This girl was getting closer and closer to him, he was getting more involved than he originally intended to, this mini vacation had made her a young woman in his eyes and not just a little girl anymore, but he couldn't afford to see her as any more than a little girl. Amon rubbed his eyes tiredly, this was all becoming too much to deal with, he just needed to get out of here before things got any worse.

Bang bang bang! The door shook, "Amon! Sir are you in there!?" Lue was calling through the door.

"Took you guys long enough." Amon mumbled, quickly wrapping the blanket around Korra. "Could you guys have taken any longer?" Amon hissed angrily as he opened the door, Korra still in his arms.

The shock on Lue's face was clear even as he fumbled for an answer, "W-we are sorry sir, the road was closed and we had to hire a truck to clear the path." Lue explained, his eyes flashing between Korra asleep in Amon's arms and Amon himself with a million questions in his eyes.

"Just grab my coat for me okay? I'm not in the mood for this right now." Amon hissed as he walked out to the van they drove up in. The door slid open for him as he approached and he saw Nina sitting in the back back row.

"Hello sir." She smiled as he sat down slowly in an effort to keep Korra asleep, "I thought Korra might need a change of clothes so I was brought along." Nina explained as Amon threw her a look that clearly questioned why she was there.

Amon sighed and fixed the blanket around Korra, "You really care about her don't you?" he asked, peering down at Korra's sleeping face.

"Yes." Nina answered, he could her the fond smile in her voice, "She reminds me of how my daughter would have been, if she were still around. She's a very special girl, she just makes things seem brighter, makes you look at things in a different light, don't you think?" Nina was asking now, turning to look at the soft look Amon had on his face as he gazed down at Korra.

"She does, but the darkness has no right to want to be near the light." he replied turning to look at Nina, knowing what she was really getting at.

Nina smiled a soft motherly smile that crinkled around her eyes, "Yes, but sometimes there is a light within the darkness, and sometimes that light wants nothing more than to be freed as it reaches out to the lights around it. If that weren't true, neither I or Lue or even Korra would have as much respect for you the way we do. You took us all in from desperate situations and kept us from falling into the dark. I do not know your past sir, but I can see that you didn't have someone there to do the same for you, but you've done well for yourself sir, you don't have to stay in the dark." she smiled, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Amon snorted a laugh, "Nina, you're only a few years older than me, but you always are so motherly." he smirked looking back at her.

"It's in my blood." Nina smiled clapping her hands together lightly.

Amon sighed, "I can see myself wanting to be with her, but I won't let myself want to be with her, it's not good for any of us. I'm a public figure, being with a younger woman would cause a stir, especially a minor. I'd be arrested and/or publicly humiliated, she'd feel it was her fault and honestly, I don't have time for a relationship. I have too much to do." he sighed. "Nina, I need some time away from her. She's a very different person than me, but she's also very much like me, and it's worrisome. If I leave her alone, she might not handle it well, but I can't keep trying to be there for her, it's going to lead to… complications. Will you please look over her for me? I'm sorry to push this on you but-"

"It's fine, I understand." Nina went on waving her hands, indicating that he needn't say more, "I'll be sure to look over her carefully and keep her out of trouble the best I can as long as she's in the house, but I cannot promise anything while she's away." Nina frowned thinking back to the night she overheard Tarrlok yelling at Korra a few nights ago. Nina was fairly sure Amon didn't know about it, but she was going to stay quiet about it anyway.

"Thank you." Amom smiled, dropping the conversation and turning to face front as Lue climbed in the driver's seat and began the ride back home.

Nina sat in the back of the van, looking over to Amon and Korra as she was resting soundly in his arms, her face puffy as if she had been could only assume Korra must have opened up about something very painful for her to speak about based on what she knew about the situation as well as the way Korra was clinging to him in her sleep. 'I will do my best to look out for her, but things don't always go as planned. The way you're looking at her now, I doubt you'll be able to help falling for her, sir. Things might not go as you planned.' Nina thought smiling to herself as Korra shifted in his arms, pulling him closer as she slept. 'Things already haven't gone as you planned, sir.'

I really wanted to make Korra's story clear about now, give Amon something to think about… and dwell on :) Sorry if it was kinda depressing though…. Also quick note to clarify, Lue is Amon's right hand man for almost everything, but Nina is very motherly and Amon does trust her, Amon really cannot miss Lue's dislike for Korra, and cannot miss the way Nina cares for Korra. He opened up to her to keep Korra safe even if it's keeping her safe from him, she occasionally gives him some good motherly advice, even though she's only 6 years older than him. Soooo thanks for reading, you guys always leave such kind reviews, they make me happy so thanks for that too, I appreciate it, I'm trying to make the story develop well and make a lot of chapters for this one so the reviews help keep me on track:D