It Is A Small World After All

Disclaimer: I was reading a Harry Potter fanfic and someone included a really formal Disclaimer, I mean astoundingly formal like it was right out of a law book. Anyways, it got me scared that the Disclaimer police would come after me by comparison. So here it goes, this is as serious as I can be in relation to Disclaimers: I do not own these characters (except Becky, she's mine, back off :P) in any way, shape or form. They're the property of Amy 'The Wittiest Woman in the World' Sherman Palladino/ WB/ CW etc.

Ok first of all, I am very sorry about the delay but I'm sure you all understand that school has started for everybody so it gets harder and harder. I am really sorry to see less and less fanfiction on the home page.

IMP Ok I need a bit of help from you guys. Could somebody please tell me if Rory ever told Logan about the kiss in Philadeplhia? As far as I know she didn't but if she did I'd like to include it.

Btw, I'm not sure what the timeline of the show is, and how many months passed between LMHYBRO and 'The Real Paul Anka'. I'm sorry but TV timelines are always wacky and weird to follow, so if something doesn't add up, please just go with it.

On with the story!

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A couple of months had gone by and things were looking up for the bookstore. Little to no mishaps had occurred, unless you counted Matt super-gluing himself to the wall… and Jess nearly falling over book boxes and breaking his front teeth FIVE TIMES in one day (all because Matt and Chris were too busy trying to win a bet by getting the same girl's phone number- to spite them Jess eventually got the number himself)… and Becky accidentally ordering 10,000 boxes of paper clip. Ok so there were more than a FEW mishaps but Jess had only threatened to kill somebody three times, Matt only needed to take out his inhaler twice (one of each of these incidents happened to coincide), Chris only embarrassed himself in front of the person who showed up to set up the phone lines (a woman incidentally) and Becky was now down to two aspirin a day, one if the guys didn't forget to refill the coffee pot.

Yes, things were going pretty smooth at 'Truncheon'. The phone bill was also flourishing… to "gargantuan proportions". That was how Jess put it. What he really wanted to say was "Becky get off the damn phone. This is insane." But he didn't have the heart; Lorelai, Rory and Becky missed each other.

He remembered one incident in particular that had nearly drove him to the edge. Lorelai had been flipping channels when she came across 'Serpico', an Al Pacino classic. Knowing Becky was a huge Al Pacino fan, she called her up and told her what channel it was on. That would have been fine, Jess would have even called it sane. But neither of them hung up until the movie was over and they had had an argument which one was truly the greatest Al Pacino role. Becky insisted it was 'Serpico', Lorelai said it was Michael Corleone and Rory (who came home from Yale halfway through the discussion) insisted she cried every time during his speech in 'Scent of a Woman'.

After three and a half hours, Jess had had enough. He grabbed the phone from Becky and hung up… not before yelling, "As corny as it is, 'Scarface'. THAT isn't overrated or overquoted. It's just the BEST role."

Jess was also keeping in touch with Luke, although those conversations had their awkward moments. Like when Luke asked if he'd spoken to Rory. Apparently Luke had heard of all the times Becky would try to get Rory and Jess to talk on the phone but surprisingly, whenever she proposed the idea, one of them had to dash off "to the thing at the place with the people", or in Jess's case, had to go "out".

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Becky was heading towards 'Truncheon' on a beautiful day. She had found a comfortable apartment a couple of blocks away while the guys thought it was better if they still lived above the bookstore for now.

She walked in with a cup of coffee in her hand, and heard her favourite jingle above the door. They had decided to put the small bell in reminiscence of Luke. There were a couple of workers doing some last minute jobs and a few nomadic customers that had found their way through the bookshelves. Becky was unofficially in charge of PR and had made sure that all of Philadelphia would eventually know about them. Jess hated it whenever she used the word 'PR', but Becky explained that that kind of attitude was exactly why he wasn't in charge of PR. She said, "He lacked the fine art of mingling, chitchatting and slipping in self-promotion. Apparently Francine Hayden is good for teaching me one thing in this world." Jess would roll his eyes and mutter something about "the crazy apple not falling far from the extended family tree."

"Good morning all." Becky greeted Matt and Chris and the workers in a chipper way. "Where is that handsome godson of mine? We have a business to run. I need him to be on his toes, mostly so I don't have to worry about mine. God I'm getting old. Those heels last night really took it out of me."

"His Royal Surliness hasn't come down yet." Chris offered.

Becky looked at her watch and scrunched up her face, "It's eleven o'clock. What is he, tied up to the bed with Yoko Ono, preaching about peace?"

The other two laughed, "No, but you may not be too far from the truth."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Were John and Yoko naked when they did the Bed-In?"

"Yeah… Why? Oh God! Ewww! Mental image. Go away! I thought you guys were just going for a drink last night!"

"Beck," Matt started, "You know we love and respect you, so forgive my bluntness …but guys are not chicks. They don't go to a bar and just drink alcohol to bond, well not unless something big happened. On a regular day, we go with a quest. Sir Christopher, tell her of this noble alliance we seek."

"To get laid," Chris deadpanned, while flipping through a magazine.

"Oh nice." Becky scoffed. "Is that all you guys care about? I thought I was teaching you some things."

"You are," Chris replied. "You're teaching us methods. You know sensitivity, roses, all that crap. The GOAL, the goal remains the same." And with that, he wiggled his eyebrows.

Becky rolled her eyes, "I give up. I give up! Be pigs. It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter that I've come to love you two as much as I love Jess. And that I only want you to be happy. OR that I know the only way for that to happen is that you find two, sweet, charming, intelligent girls! No, no it's ok. My opinion doesn't matter. I'm just the older freak who helps out."

At this, the two men looked guilty. They appreciated Becky's constant support and encouragement… a lot. Both of them looked at the floor like they were twelve and simultaneously said, "We're sorry!"

Becky, who seemed to look crestfallen immediately lit up, and patted them both on the head, as if they were her pet guinea pigs. She inwardly congratulated herself for learning how to play the guilt card from her mother, the master of masters.

She hopped off the stool she had been sitting on and rolled up her sleeves and narrowed her eyes towards the door that led up to the apartment. "Wish me luck boys."

"Hey I'm not sure if…" Chris started. But Matt quickly stopped him with an evil grin on his face.

Becky went up the stairs and opened the door carefully, so as not to make her presence known. She slowly made her way towards Jess's bedroom, suppressing a laugh. As soon as she placed her hand on the doorknob, she stopped and prayed that she wasn't going to be the one that ended up scarred for life after this. But all seemed relatively silent so she straightened herself up, put on a fake wide grin and burst open the door, making her presence known very loudly.

"Jessie-poo, darling, where are you? You promised to take me to lunch today."

Jess, who had been asleep and half-positioned on a naked, svelte blonde, shot up so quickly he banged his head on the headboard and fell of the bed in a tumble of sheets.

The blonde looked up confused and afraid of who this stranger was. Not to mention, she looked deeply embarrassed at her own state.

Becky kept up her creepily chipper voice, "Oh my my my. I didn't know Jess had company. My, such a beautiful girl. I always did teach my baby Jess to settle for the best and nothing less. Pleasure to meet you, angel face…though I don't think that's what they put on your birth certificate." Becky threw in a wink for good effect.

Becky had made her way over to the bed and stuck out her hand like she was a demure, Southern girl back in the times of the Old West. Apparently Becky chose to tap into her inner Scarlet O'Hara for full Jess humiliation effect.

"Stacie. My… my name is Stacie. Who… who are you?"

"My, my, my." Becky turned towards Jess. "You didn't tell her about little old me? Jessie-poo, I am deeply distraught."

At this point, Jess was clambering back onto the bed, holding the sheets tightly around his waist and muttering curses no godmother should ever hear, "Why would I tell her about a nut like you?"

Becky continued to smile at Jess, but then turned to Stacie. "Well, I must introduce myself. Jess seems to have forgotten all the wonderful manners I've taught him… I'm Becky, Jess's mother."

Stacie's face had gone entirely pale at the last word. Jess just blinked at Becky. There was that look on his face again, the one that screamed she had just grown three heads… and devil horns and a pitch fork too.

"But… but you look so young…" Stacie stammered, trying to make it sound like a compliment, instead of just sounding shocked.

"I had him when I was fourteen. Terrible ordeal, it was. I insisted on a natural birth. I thought I was the bravest girl on the planet. Little did I know that this little cricker right here had other plans. Thirty hours, yes thirty hours of pure excruciating labour. But I love him. I love him more for how well it all turned out. I mean, look at him. Well, honey I don't have to tell you. You've just seen ALL of him. Funny thing is, I don't think I've seen all of him since he was this big," and with that she made a small gap between her thumb and her forefinger.

"Ok that's it. She is my godmother. GODMOTHER." Jess yelled.

"That's what I said Jess. I am his god!"

"No you maniac. You keep leaving one part out on purpose. She is my godmother…and she hasn't seen me naked since I was a baby. Now out." He looked sternly at Becky and pointed at the door.

"But Jess," Becky resumed her normal voice as she realised she was in big trouble.

"OUT," Becky was shooed out and felt the door slam behind her. At first, she cringed at the situation but then she couldn't help but laugh at it. It wasn't like Jess was planning on spending the rest of his life with this girl. On the contrary, he had been bringing home different girls pretty often and Becky didn't like it all. She didn't have a say in what he did but that didn't mean she couldn't voice her opinion. And voice it she would, just as soon as Blondie left.

She went out into the living room and decided to make a cup of coffee but on the way to the kitchen, a photo on one of the bookshelves caught her eye. It was of a fourteen-year-old-version of herself holding a baby Jess. She remembered Liz had kept it and given it to Jess a few months ago. She also remembered how Matt and Chris had found it and insisted on pouting it on display. Jess had stopped protesting after a while.

Becky smiled sadly. It couldn't have been too long before Liz and her had fought.

She could never really forget that day, mostly because it still pained her to think about it. It was a Friday. She remembered she had finished a particularly gruelling day at school. Homework for Monday had been signed, sealed and delivered to her bag and she had a whole weekend she could dedicate to 'Baby Duties'.

She had gotten into yet another huge fight with her mother. Francine Hayden, with the air of an Empress, had spoken condescendingly to her daughter and bluntly told her she was wasting her life away caring about… how had she put it? Ah yes "dejected simpletons", Becky recalled. Becky, as usual, had retorted with her usual line of defence. Her grades weren't slipping, everything was in order and the extremely bitter, "Don't worry Mother, in a couple of months you'll have me shipped off to another country! There'll be no fraternizing with the "dejected simpletons" there, that's for damn sure." Not unsurprisingly her father hadn't been around, but her mother had made it abundantly clear that she was speaking on behalf of him.

She had been so upset at her parents that she had quickly sought out the bus to New York. She had realized then that her parents never worried about the dangers of a fifteen year old travelling alone to New York. Instead, they were afraid of tarnishing their reputation because of their daughter's company.

She'd gotten to Liz's apartment bedraggled and upset. All she had wanted was Jess's company; to get lost in a little child's life, where butterflies in the park are a fantasy and miniscule words being read to you are an adventure.

She opened the door with her own key and called out to Liz, but no one answered. Frowning and looking confused, Becky searched the apartment but only found a seemingly bored Jess crawling around in his crib.

She picked him up and fed him. After about an hour or so, Jess was getting restless and Becky took out the book she had brought with her to get him to sleep. She held Jess in her arms and sat on the couch, "'The Old Man And The Sea'. This should get you to sleep buddy."

A few hours had gone by and Jess was sound asleep. Becky had steadily gotten angrier and angrier at Liz for leaving the baby alone.

Finally Liz had come in through the apartment door, reeking of smoke and slightly tipsy. Becky got off the couch, mad as hell.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Oh hi Beck. Didn't see you there." Liz slurred.

"Maybe it's because you smell like a Vegas cocktail waitress."

"Really? I went out for a bit and I saw a couple of old friends and you know … one thing lead to another. How's Jess?

"Asleep, no thanks to you." Becky couldn't believe Liz's nonchalant attitude.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Liz's happy-go-lucky demeanour immediately shifted.

"I got here and found him ALONE Liz. What if something happened? What if somebody broke in? This isn't exactly the safest neighbourhood, and even IF IT WERE!"

"I left Elsa with him. She said she'd stick around for $5 and I knew you'd be showing up soon."

"Elsa! That pot-faced slut next door. She's not straight enough to look after a cat."

"She's not that bad. She's watched him before."

"What?!"

"Yeah. When you're not around and I have somewhere to go. She's good at it."

"Somehow I don't think leaving a one year old baby alone qualifies as 'being good at it'," Becky couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Well something big must have happened, 'cause she's never done that before."

"Liz are you listening to yourself? You shouldn't have even left him with that crack head to begin with. You shouldn't have come back so late. You didn't even call to check on him ONCE and came home smelling like shit."

At this, Liz finally exploded, "Don't tell me what I can or cannot do Becky. He's my kid and I know what's best."

"Best?! You call leaving him to other people's care 'what's best for him'?"

"Oh what the hell do you know? You're just a preppy teenager. You don't know what it's like to actually be a mother."

The two girls had been yelling so loud that Jess started crying form the other room.

"Nice going," Becky sneered.

"Oh sure this is my fault," Liz began to rub her temples at the impending headache.

Becky went in to get Jess and held him in her arms. She came back out to the living room, gently rocking him.

"I may not be his mother but I seem to be taking a lot better care of him."

"Care of him?" Liz looked at her gapingly. "Just because you buy him some piece of crap that I can't afford. You just throw Daddy's money in our faces all the time."

"That's all I do Liz? Is it really? I don't come up here every chance I get just to spend time with you guys."

"Oh don't act all high and mighty with me Beck. I know you think we're just some charity case. You probably think 'Poor Liz, she's such a screw up She'd probably die of starvation of if it weren't for me.' You come in here and flaunt your money and your high-class crap. You probably think you can put us on your Ivy League application forms. 'Extracurricular activities… hmm… Well I helped a bum and her kid for a year after her boyfriend ran away.' 'Oh kudos Ms. Hayden. Yes we really need to acknowledge the unfortunate ones in our society. And you actually INTERACTING with them, so brave! You're in Ms. Hayden, you're in.'" Liz added fake applause to her mockery, just as she had been gesticulating with every word she used to ridicule Becky and her colleges.

Becky had tears running down her cheeks at Liz's words. She knew it was the alcohol talking but it meant that, at some point, Liz had actually thought something along those lines.

"Liz, I never…"

"You know what, get out." At this, Liz took Jess, who had been crying even harder since Liz's tirade. "You can take your fancy upbringing and your pitying glances and go."

"I never pitied you Liz. I always thought you were strong. But you're not strong. You're arrogant and conceited and selfish. You don't deserve a baby!" Becky didn't realize the harshness of her words until they came out and her eyes widened in shock. She quickly attempted an apology, "Liz, I'm so…"

Liz stood stoically and simply uttered, "Get out Rebecca. Get out. You're no longer welcome. Get your stuff and go. I never want to see you or have you near Jess again."

If it was possible for Becky's eyes to grow even wider, they did.

"Liz I didn't mean…"

"Get out Rebecca. I won't say it again."

Becky started sobbing and looked longingly at Jess as though hoping that he would suddenly start speaking in full sentences and defend her.

She turned back to Jess's bedroom and got her backpack slowly. She spotted the novel she had been reading from before and, while still crying steadily, she slipped it under the mattress that she knew Jess was planned to use.

She gave a very sad smile and patted the mattress. Suddenly she felt exhausted, like all the energy had been drained out of her, as she realized what all this meant. She lifted herself up off the floor shakily and went out into the living room.

When she got to where Liz was standing, she attempted another feeble apology, but knew Liz was as stubborn as they come.

Liz didn't relent and Becky attempted to touch Jess's head for the last time but she thought better of it.

With that, Becky left the apartment and made her way back to New Haven, feeling like a broken glass bottle. Liz contemplated the guilt that she was feeling while looking at her baby.

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Becky snapped out of her haze with the sound of Jess's bedroom door opening. That was all in the 'being hashed out' past. The 'about to be ridiculed and consequently lectured' present awaited.

Stacie came out wearing a very embarrassed look on her face. 'At least she's semi-clothed now', Becky thought. She glanced disparagingly at the short, tight boob top the girl was wearing. Hopefully, she'd bump into Matt on her way out and he would try to hit on her, Becky thought evilly. Matt's pick-up lines rivalled Emily Gilmore at a Greenday concert in the awkwardness factor.

Stacie smiled shyly at Becky, while eyeing her exit route.

"It was nice meeting you."

"Likewise dear." Becky put on an impish grin while resuming her Scarlet O'Hara accent.

"Bye Jess. Call me." And with that, Stacie quickly left.

Becky had been staring incredulously after her, "Wow after the stunt I pulled, she STILL wants you to call her. That girl really did like getting laid huh?"

She turned around to find a stoic Jess, with arms folded and sending her a death glare.

"Oh right. I'd forgotten our impending re-enactment of the Inquisition."

But Jess didn't utter a word. He just made his way into the kitchen still fuming, and started making coffee.

"Oh come on Jess. Not the silent treatment. Yours is worse than Lorelai's. I never know if you're silently contemplating how you're gonna write this episode into a book, making me out to be a bitter old hag who can't learn to let go."

Jess turned towards her, eyes blazing, "It's funny because you THINK you're mocking the situation but… hmm… let's see … how would you say it?" Jess set his hands as though he were holding a nail with one hand and hitting it with another. "Am I imitating hitting the nail on the head right Beck?" Jess asked, voice dripping with irritated sarcasm.

Becky faked being offended. "Jessie-poo, you don't actually think I have trouble letting go?"

"No you just have trouble minding your own business."

"I just want you to find somebody nice and DECENT." Becky glared at him.

"Stacie was nice."

"Oh yeah, Stacie was a real keeper," Becky added mockingly, rolling her eyes.

"Well, congratulate yourself Beck. I can never look that girl in the eye again."

"Oh please you would have been bored of her in less than a week. She's a salesgirl at Gap for crying out loud."

Jess stared at her wondering how in such a short amount of time, Becky had learned all kinds of titbits about the people in the city. Last time, she even knew the names of some of the construction workers they came across.

"I'm gonna go change now." Jess really wanted to end this conversation but Becky simply followed him into his bedroom.

"I mean it's not like she was some blue-eyed beauty."

Jess stopped midway through putting a t-shirt on and after letting it slide down slowly, glared at her with a deadpanned, "What?"

"Nothing I'm sorry." Becky replied sheepishly.

"No go on. I'm curious to know what's going on in that crazy head of yours."

Becky looked around nervously, "You never bring home a girl with blue eyes. I mean it would be a coincidence if you only brought home two girls but you've really been raking them in lately."

Jess sighed, realizing that it would be futile to deny something that Becky already knew she was right about.

"Beck I get that you're looking out for me, but I'm a big boy, I can handle it… ok?"

"Can you really?" Both of them knew that Becky was hinting at something much more deep-rooted than a passing fancy for one-night stands. She had been occasionally hinting at the same thing since she read 'The Subsect'.

"Let it go Beck." And with that, he was heading down to the bookstore.

"Hold on. Wait a second," Beck called out and she went after him. "Is it so wrong to want my favourite god-son and my favourite niece to hook up."

Jess stopped abruptly halfway through the stairs and emphasized, "Your ONLY godson. And I don't think Chris wants you choosing between his daughters."

"We just won't tell him now will we? Point is Jess I've got nieces, brothers, ex sisters-in-law, supposed sister in-law who's like an actual sister…"

"Beck.." Jess glared, hinting at her to get to the point.

"I eventually want god-grand-babies." Becky let out, sounding like a five year old who wanted candy.

They had both arrived at the bookstore and thankfully it was practically empty.

Jess looked at her shocked, "First of all, aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves?"

"But…"

"Second," Jess wasn't going to let the insanity go on any further (well at least not for today), "Let's entertain your delusional god-grand-babies notion for a second and think about Rory." He stopped, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Now listen to me very carefully Beck." He stated out slowly, speaking quicker the more he emphasized his words, "That chance has been shot to hell and back more times than a Guns 'N Roses reunion!"

Becky stood in stunned silence, staring after Jess walking away and finally yelled out, "So?!"

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Yes, I am an Al Pacino fan, hence the whole film debacle. My opinion: 'Serpico' is his best but that's just me.

Also, I'm sorry about the 'GAP salesgirls' crack. Honestly I'd love to work at the GAP. It's just a girl who works there and wears a short boob top isn't really what Becky has in min for Jess!

Thanks again!