Author's Note: THIS CHAPTER WILL BE UPDATED SOON… you can of course continue reading if you wish, but eventually you'll want to come back and REREAD it because there may be some drastic changes in the chapter. Fair warning. As much as it may suck you may want to hold off and read more later. Don't worry, the update is scheduled for release by 4/27/13.

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XXXMANDYXXX

The next morning I felt the bed dip and I forced my eyes open to look around me. I attempted to turn over but something was wrapped tightly around my waist keeping me still, looking down I was surprised to find it was an arm clinging tightly around me. I looked up and found the Doctor's sleeping face. I hadn't realised during the night Martha and I had curled around him like a big pillow. I couldn't help but smile.

"Hey you, good morning," a voice whispered from behind me.

I turned my head and found Shaye sitting on the edge of the bed staring down at me. "Good morning," I mumbled sleepily.

"I take it you slept well?" Shaye asked.

"Mm-hmm. You?"

There was something hidden beneath her smile that made my eyebrows rise higher than ever. I'd forgotten she'd gone to bed with Donna and Jack. I doubted seriously there was much sleep involved, if any.

"Soo, you three look comfy," Shaye teased me.

"Shaye," I heard the Doctor warn sleepily, the same way he did Jack.

I giggled; there was something comforting about the fact that he treated her as he would a friend. He rearranged himself as he ran a hand up my side absently. Martha groaned as he jostled her in her sleep and she blinked awake drowsily lifting her head to look around. She smiled at me and dropped her back to the Doctor's chest with a yawn.

"Mornin'," she mumbled.

I smiled at her, understanding exactly how she felt right now.

"Breakfast in ten. If you don't come down I'll come back up. That's a warning," Shaye said leaving the bed. "Oh, and don't feel the need to get dressed, no one else has."

"Don't worry," I called as she left my room. "We won't!"

The Doctor pulled his arms out from under us and stretched. Martha grumbled as he jostled us again and I giggled at the sudden dumbstruck look that appeared on his face. He must have only realised how entangled with us in bed he actually was. He quickly ran a hand through his already disheveled hair and made it stick straight up. I laughed at him and reached up with my free hand to run it through his hair, taming it into place without so much as a second thought.

"There, that's better," I said letting my hand fall back to his chest.

He stared at me a moment and then cleared his throat. "Right, well. I think I'll go help with breakfast…" He detangled his legs from ours and scooted up out of the blankets. The chill air hit Martha and I at the same time and we shivered, scooting closer to each other as he got out of the bed.

"M'kay," I mumbled drifting off in the warm blankets.

I smiled appreciatively as Martha curled up around me, draping an arm around my stomach. It was too cold not to have a snuggle buddy. The Doctor stood there looking at us as if he wanted to say something.

"What's the matter?" I asked frowning.

"Nothing," he said a little too quickly. "….Good morning."

I smiled sweetly at him and burrowed deeper into the blankets, resting my forehead against Martha's with a sigh and closing my eyes to go back to sleep.

"Good morning, Doctor," I sighed, drifting off instantly.

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XXXTHEDOCTORXXX

The Doctor stepped out of the bedroom quietly so as not to disturb the two women still curled up in bed. He hadn't intended to get quite so cosy with them through the night. He supposed it was bound to happen being sandwiched between the two of them. He was more concerned with the fact he didn't mind being so close.

Sure, he'd slept with Martha plenty of times and never worried. But that was until yesterday when a certain someone verbally pointed out that sleeping in bed with a woman you didn't love wasn't a good idea. Now he'd slept with two!

He rubbed his face as he entered the bathroom to relieve himself. As he washed his hands he wetted his hair and tousled it into place, the look on Mandy's face as she'd finger combed it herself crossed his mind. He shook his head roughly to clear whatever thoughts dared to pop up. This was NOT the time.

He glanced down at himself to find he had no shirt on. Had he had one when he went to bed? Curious, he couldn't actually remember. Well, that was another new development. He couldn't remember having ever gone without a shirt except in the comfort of his own room on the TARDIS.

He left the bathroom and as he passed Mandy's bedroom he looked in. She was still curled up snug with Martha and they were sleeping comfortably. He shook his head. Martha was behaving quite out of character. First she got drunk last night; he couldn't remember her ever doing that. Then she pushed him to bed without so much as a worry about sleeping in bed with him or the other girl. She was usually awkward about sleeping arrangements. Now she was curled up around the smaller girl using her as a body pillow.

The Doctor shook his head deciding that human women would always remain a mystery to him. No matter how many and how long he travelled with them. He glanced at Martha one last time before heading for the stairs. Perhaps it was the company. Martha was usually surrounded by military types as of late. Even when she'd travelled with him before there weren't a lot of opportunities to just relax because trouble was just around the corner.

This also surprised him a bit. He'd now spent, he mentally checked the clock in his mind, seventeen hours on Earth and the only thing that'd gone wrong was Mandy's ex-boyfriend showing up at the bar. He was pretty sure this was the quietest stop on Earth he'd ever had. Oddly enough he was kind of glad that there were no disasters to prevent.

The smell of bacon and eggs drew him to the kitchen where he found Mitchell and Shaye portioning out food onto empty plates. His stomach rumbled with pleasure as he realised how hungry he was. He noted that none of the young men in the room had bothered to put on shirts and felt a little less weird about not putting on his own. Zollie and Clifton were both slumped in their chairs taking a long drag on their cigarettes.

"Good, you're up! Where's Mandy?" Shaye asked.

The Doctor pointed towards the ceiling. "Curled up with Martha."

Shaye sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Don't you know any better? Mandy will never crawl out of a warm bed if there's someone in it to snuggle with. No matter whom it is. You either have to steal the blankets or steal the snuggle buddy."

"Forgive me," he said sarcastically. "I hadn't realised it was my duty to drag a grown woman out of her own bed."

Shaye gave him a sardonic look and shook a large spoon at him. "Cheeky little bastard. Alright, I'll go get them. Watch and learn boys."

Shaye sauntered towards the kitchen entrance and ran into Jack on the way out. He caught her about the waist and kissed her on the mouth wholeheartedly as she squealed in delight.

"Ahh, that's better," Jack said, happily letting her go.

Shaye and Donna laughed as the Doctor watched the two women wink at each other before heading opposite directions; Donna to enter the kitchen, Shaye to leave it. Jack slapped him on the back as he headed for the jug of orange juice and an empty glass. Donna followed silently behind him dressed in an oversized t-shirt that fell to her knees. The Doctor hadn't noticed how much weight the woman had lost until now for some reason. He supposed it was all the running his companions did when they were with him.

The Doctor stared at Donna and he swore he saw her blush as she swept past him with a simple, "Morning, Doctor'. Oh, well this is just wonderful. How thick can I be? They went to bed together, I should have known, the Doctor thought. He was never drinking again. What had possessed him to do so in the first place? He pictured Mandy shooting a shot of tequila and sucking on a lime as she gave him a flirty I-dare-you look. Of course, he never backed down from a challenge.

"SHAYE!" He heard Martha and Mandy scream upstairs.

They all looked upwards in surprise. Nobody said anything as Shaye entered the kitchen again moments later and no one had the courage to ask exactly what she'd done.

"That, my dear Doctor, is how you get two women out of bed." She said heading for a plate of food as the others resumed eating. Martha and Mandy stormed into the kitchen soaking wet, their night clothes clinging to their luscious curves. They both pinned Shaye with a glare as she bit into a piece of bacon.

"Morning girls," Shaye greeted them.

"You," Mandy growled.

"Are," Martha continued.

"A."

"Total."

"Bitch!" Mandy finished.

The men all turned to stare at Shaye as she just laughed. She crossed the room and held a piece of bacon out to each of them and winked. They took the pieces of bacon from her and bit into them agitatedly.

"You are so not out of the clear yet!" Mandy said walking to the table and plopping down next to the Doctor.

"I could torture you y'know," Martha told the girl. "I'm fully trained in how to save people but that knowledge also helps to teach you how to kill people slowly!"

"Duly noted," Shaye said handing her a plate of breakfast.

Martha grumbled something and sat down at the large kitchen table. It wasn't long before they'd polished off their food and left to change into new clothes. The Doctor walked back to the TARDIS with Jack to grab something clean from the wardrobe. The girls had decided they'd borrow something off from Mandy whose closet was limitless.

By the time the Doctor and Jack had walked back to her apartment the girls had broken off from the boys and disappeared upstairs to rummage through closets. Mitchell and Clifton were engaged in a game of mancala while Zollie strummed at a guitar, stopping now and then to write something down in a notebook beside him.

"I've got to call Torchwood," Jack whispered in the Doctor's ear. "Are you going to explain to Mandy that her friends won't remember anything we told them or do you want me to?"

The Doctor thought about it, "I will. What about Martha and Donna?"

"Martha already knows my system. But I told Donna last night. So you better talk to Mandy. You don't want her to slip up and say anything that'll spark their memory."

"How about you, Doctor?" Mitchell called to him. "Up for a round? Can't be any worse than Cliff."

"Hey!" Clifton protested. "I'm just a newb!"

"Pretty sure the 'newb' status wears off after a month dude," Zollie pointed out. "Now it's called you suck."

"Yeah, like you play any better!"

"I do actually. Beat Mitch three times outta five last week."

"True story," Mitch said, setting up the mancala game. "So whattaya say, Doc? You up for a game?"

"Sure. Love a game, me," the Doctor said sitting down to play.

"So, tell me about Mandy," the Doctor said casually.

All at once the three guys stopped to stare at him. They glanced at each other before going back to what they were doing.

"What do you want to know?" Mitchell asked slowly.

"Anything really. Haven't had much time to really learn anything about her."

"How long have you known her?"

"About five days. But things have been kind of… chaotic."

"Her name's Miranda Evalle Tate. She likes candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach. Oh, and she doesn't put out for free," Zollie offered. "Anything else?"

"Prick!" Clifton laughed, shooting a pillow across the room.

"Sorry," the Doctor said, feeling the tension in the room. "I didn't mean to pry. It's just you shared a lot of stories but they didn't really give anything away about her personality."

"Nah," Mitchell said dismissively. "It's cool. I'm just not sure what you're looking for."

The Doctor thought about it. "Hobbies. Does she have any? All around this house there's nothing to show if she has one."

"She sings," Zollie said. "Brilliantly. Although the odds of you getting her to sing for you are slim to none."

"Why?" The Doctor asked, feeling he was getting somewhere.

"Stage fright. Can barely sing a word with strangers in the room."

"Which sucks," Clifton added. "Cause she's got a voice straight from Heaven."

"What else then? She must do something to pass the time."

"She writes music. But other than that she usually just works," Mitchell told him. "She likes to keep busy. Doesn't do well alone."

The Doctor couldn't imagine any young American woman just working. It was all parties and music and going shopping with girlfriends. They all had to do something to relax… "Why's that?"

"Not sure," Mitchell admitted. "Something to do with whatever happened in her past."

"She's only twenty-one, how much of a past can she have? That's my game."

"I don't know, but whatever it was it was bad." Mitchell said, shaking his head and resetting the pieces.

"She'll go into these moods and you can see it," Zollie offered. "Something'll set her off and you can see her remembering."

"Remembering what?" Jack asked, entering the room and plopping down in an empty chair.

"Like he said, we don't know. Figure the only one around here that does is Shaye. But you won't get a peep out of her either. She's like a guard dog with Mandy. If you get too close or she thinks you're a threat to Mandy she'll sink her teeth into you and not let go. It's a death sentence to get between those two."

"So she and Mandy are close? That's my game again," the Doctor pointed at the game board.

It would explain why she'd been the first person she'd tried to call on the TARDIS. And the first person she did call when he'd given her phone a bit of a boost. It seemed the more answers he received the more confused he became. There were more questions now than when he'd started.

Mitchell frowned as he reset the pieces yet again. "She was Mandy's first friend I think. Mandy lived with the Rosser's until she graduated high school and got a job to move out."

"Who're the Rossers?"

"Shaye's last name is Rosser. Her parents apparently agreed to take Mandy in but they started going through a divorce later that year. Mandy was already going through some tragedy and when Shaye started going through hers they clung to each other."

"Why did Mandy have to move in with the Rosser's to begin with? Where was her family?"

"No one knows. They just disappeared," Zollie said setting his guitar down beside him. "One day her sisters just didn't come to school and her dad just disappeared. Wouldn't tell anyone where they went."

"There were lots of rumours," Clifton reminded them. "It all started after that guy went missing."

"What guy?" Jack asked.

"Mark. Real popular guy in school. Fit in everywhere. Was only in school two weeks before he got his first look at Mandy," Zollie told him.

The Doctor recalled hearing that name in one of the previous night's conversations.

"…it was the weirdest day ever!" Zollie had been telling Jack.

"What day was weird?" Mandy had asked picking up on the discussion.

"The day that kid in our history class never came back. Remember him?"

Mandy's aura had gone from light and carefree to dark and cautious in a matter of seconds. He'd watched her shoulders tense up as she avoided eye contact.

"No. Don't think so."

"Sure you do," Zollie had said. "Everybody loved that guy. He went from one clique to the next, fit in everywhere. He asked you out a week before he disappeared."

"I don't remember—"

"I think his name was Mark—"

"Poor sap," Mitchell added with a laugh. "Never had a chance. But that didn't stop him from trying."

"He spent two weeks asking her out and trying to get her attention. It seemed to be working too, until he went missing," Clifton told them.

"When was that?" The Doctor asked.

"About four days before Mandy's family went missing too. That was the main reason for the rumours," Zollie said quietly. "They thought it was Mandy. She was gorgeous, is gorgeous and everyone wanted her but she'd have nothing to do with friendships or relationships."

"Aside from Shaye," Jack offered.

"Yeah, and then she suddenly started talking to us too, showing real interest. And when Mark went missing students thought she'd done something to him," Clifton added.

Why would students assume that Mandy would be able to do anything to someone? He wondered.

"It was worse because her family disappeared only a few days later. There was an investigation we'd heard but that's just it, it was all hearsay. But people bullied her, threatened her and she wouldn't even defend herself," Mitchell told them.

"She wouldn't tell anyone anything. Didn't speak a word to anyone for months! Remember? The only thing she'd do is sing in the choir. Except with us. We knew Shaye a while too and when they started going after her too we stepped in," Clifton said.

"That was when we started becoming friends," Mitchell said. "But it took us forever to get her to talk again."

Jack and the Doctor exchanged meaningful looks. This gave both of them a lot to think about. It seemed Mandy was a mystery shrouded in more mysteries. For the Doctor that wasn't a problem, he loved a mystery. For Jack it caused suspicion, she seemed sweet enough but he didn't like the sound of people just disappearing around her.

"What do you think, Doctor?" Mitchell asked. "Why would she just clam up like that?"

"Sounds like selective mutism," the Doctor said thoughtfully. "Something must have happened. And whatever it was it scarred her terribly…"

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XXXMANDYXXX

"We should go shopping," Martha said an hour later. "You've lost so much weight most of these don't fit anyways."

They'd torn my entire closet apart going through clothes and trying various things on. I didn't mind, it was fun watching Martha and Donna and Shaye model different outfits. But I couldn't help dosing off because for some reason I was incredibly tired. It was like my brain was overworked and trying to shut down.

"I don't know," I said tiredly. "I've lost my job. I really can't afford to go buy anything."

"What about Plato's Closet?" Shaye suggested. "Everything in here is designer; if you sell them your old clothes you can use that money to buy new clothes. And I hear the mall is having huge sales right now."

"I don't know…"

"Oh, come on. If you want I'll loan you a couple quid," Donna told me.

"What good is a squid gonna do?" Shaye asked confused.

We laughed as she looked from one of us to the other. "What, what'd I say?"

"A quid is a pound sterling. British money," I explained to her.

"Oh, well I liked the squid better," she laughed.

"So are we gonna do it then?" Martha asked. "Are we going on a shopping spree? I could use a new pair of trousers."

They stared at me a minute and I laughed, giving in. "Alright! But I can't spend much, I really do need to save as much as possible."

"Perfect! Now… who's going to break it to the boys that they're our escorts?" Shaye asked. "'Cause I'm not gonna!"

"I will," Donna said. "But let's not give them time to change their minds. We'll pack up everything you want to sell and take it down with us."

"Ohh, good idea," Shaye said impressed. "I like her. Can we keep her?"

We laughed as we packed up my clothes into bags and pretty soon we were heading down the stairs our arms loaded with weight. I felt my head reel and tried to sit down casually beside Zollie.

"What's all that?" Jack asked surprised.

"Clothes," Martha offered.

"Okay… would you care to elaborate?"

"Love too. These are Mandy's old clothes. They no longer fit and she needs new ones…" Donna started.

"Oh, no!" the Doctor interrupted knowing exactly where that statement was leading. "I'm not doing it!"

"Oh, yes you are spaceman! We're going shopping and you gentlemen will be escorting us."

"No, absolutely not! You take forever; I've been shopping with you! Even I don't have pockets big enough for what you end up with."

"Stuff it spaceman. You're coming with us whether you like it or not."

"Oh, am I? I think you forget who the driver is," he said.

"Oh, did I tell you about the time the Doctor took us to Marson Jan? Big red planet, thousands of years in the future and we land inside a gay bar…" Donna said to me so that only the Doctor could hear.

"Alright! Alright! You win!" the Doctor shouted raising his hands in surrender.

"Thought you'd see it my way," Donna grinned.

"Do you mind if we rest a bit first," I asked hopefully. Martha and the Doctor looked at me with instant concern. "I'm fine," I told them. "I think I just need a nap, long couple days y'know?"

"Yeah," Martha said with a nod. "That's a good idea. You go up and have a kip and we'll occupy ourselves 'til you've rested."

I smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, I'll only be a while."

I headed back up the stairs forcing my shoulders straight and my head high. Once I'd reach the top of the stairs and knew I was out of sight I let both sag. As I was headed for my room I knew something was wrong, I could feel it. My head ached, my bones groaned, and my stomach was turning. I found my way to the littlest room upstairs feeling a strange pull to it.

Inside the room I crossed to the couch and sat down. Why didn't I just go to bed? Why did I feel like there was something in here I needed, something that would make me feel…better. I looked around. Cat supplies were about all I kept in here, aside from the bookcase and sofa. There was a closet but it was filled with winter supplies. Coats, gloves, boots…

I looked around the room and shook my head, which was a bad idea because instantaneously a sharp throbbing sensation spread through it. I groaned letting my head fall into my hands. Maybe it was just a headache, a really bad headache. But something kept nagging at me, like a sixth sense telling me there was something more to it.

I got up to look at the shelves. I read the book titles one by one, thinking there had to be something in here that I wanted. Suddenly a book stood out to me. I drew it from the shelf staring at it. Broken Wings. This wasn't my book. It had never been my book, and how it had gotten here I wasn't quite sure. But I knew it, had read it, had…

I opened the book and a picture fell out. I leant down to pick it up and flip it over. As I looked at the faces within the picture I felt my first tears fall. My father. My father and three sisters. The family I'd finally found after two difficult years in an orphanage and foster homes and a year on the streets. This book had once belonged to one of my sisters. How it had gotten here I didn't know. I felt the pain in my head ease as I stared at the picture but then the exhaustion kicked in.

I crossed to the sofa and laid down, tucking the picture back into the book and clutching it to my chest. I'd loved them so much. They'd saved me when no one else would. But they were gone now. I couldn't help but remember them now. It was as if seeing the picture had opened up a flood gate and my memories came rushing in.

I swallowed the sob rising in my throat, squeezing my eyes shut in hopes of keeping back the tears. It did me no good. Nothing could keep back the tears I'd refused to shed for so many years as I curled up, determined to get some sleep.

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XXXMARTHAXXX

"So you're telling us," Martha said, trying to concentrate on the facts, "that Mandy started school with you when you were 14?"

"Yup. One day she just appeared in class next to me. I remember because she looked like she was twelve. The boys didn't so much as give her a glance because of it."

"That and the boring grandma clothes that she was made to wear. Loose-fitting, drab colors, and the ugliest fucking shoes!" Zollie recalled.

So she would have been sixteen when she started school here, she thought. The Doctor had told her that while she and Donna had been upstairs he'd been trying to learn about Mandy from her friends but he'd gotten practically useless information from the boys. Lucky for him, she and Donna were much better at coercing information out of them than he was.

"She didn't really fill out until two months into the year," Shaye told her. "We just assumed she came from a fanatically religious family. Puritans or something."

"I mean, sounds stupid now I guess, but it made sense then. We figured that was why she wore such old clothes and no makeup and no earrings or bracelets."

"That and she didn't participate in any clubs or games or go to dances. Most of the students thought trying to be friends with her was a total waste of time. Even I was guilty of thinking her life was a waste of time," Mitchell admitted guiltily.

"Sounds like she didn't have a lot of money growing up then," Donna said.

"No, she came from the richest family in town," Shaye said startled. "That's why we thought it had to be a religious thing. Cause nobody with that much money would dress their children like a bag lady."

"So why did she have to dress like that then?" Donna wondered.

"Well, from what she told me when we became friends her family always kept everything. I guess the clothes were passed on from one sister to the next and unless something had really worn out new clothes weren't purchased."

"That makes no sense," Martha said. "I mean, I understand the sister sharing thing, I did it with my sister, but if they were rich buying new clothes shouldn't have been a big deal."

"You'd have thought that wouldn't you?" Shaye asked. "Well, just as Mandy had been told to give some of her old clothes to her little sister, Mandy's older sister was told to give some of her newer outfits to her."

"Man was that an eye-opener. Problem was everyone noticed the change at once," Clifton told them. "And it wasn't good attention she was getting. She was already unpopular and her suddenly showing up one day in revealing clothes and styles made the girls hate her more."

"Some of the guys were mean to her too," Shaye pointed out. "Remember Tommy Holmes? He kept asking her if she had started drinking their gardener's Miracle-Gro."

"Yeah, but Rose Lee was worse," Zollie said. "She started spreading rumours everywhere that Mandy had gotten plastic surgery.

"Only 'cause she was jealous. If anyone needed plastic surgery it was her, with her long, pointed nose and doggy ears. You could see the story smeared all over people's faces. It was awful," Shaye said sadly. "Almost overnight, Mandy's baby face had morphed into a stunning cover girl's face, including a magazine model's complexion. Rose eventually began to regret her mocking though."

Martha couldn't imagine Mandy being anything but beautiful. She seemed like such a kind girl, why would anyone want to smear her reputation with such hateful rumours? Martha supposed that was just how it was. It had been that way as she grew up as well.

"How is it," the Doctor mumbled under his breath to her. "That you are able to get all this out of them and they look at me like I'm some con-artist fishing for credit numbers?"

Martha grinned. "I'm a curious young woman wondering about this amazing girl I've just become friends with. Girls are gossips, they expect me to wonder. You're just some bloke that could be trying to take advantage of her."

"I am not just a bloke," he said, appalled.

"If you want to keep them on topic I suggest you shut up and just listen," Martha whispered, smiling at Shaye. "So you mentioned she had sisters," Martha said to her curiously. "What did they look like?"

"She had an older sister in my class," Clifton offered. "Gorgeous! I mean, really. Gorgeous hair, gorgeous face, gorgeous body. And she had this way of walking with such confidence, like she knew she was hot and didn't care. And that ass, I'm telling you…"

"I think we've heard enough from you thanks!" Shaye said kicking him in the knee. "Mandy had three sisters that I knew of. Two older and one younger. The oldest girl I don't remember well. She was already a graduating senior in High School when I met Mandy. I remember she was the smartest girl in the school and she was awesome at sports. She had really long dark hair too, all of them did."

"They all had long dark hair?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, and they all had perfect complexions and dark eyes. I can't remember ever seeing them with as much as a blemish. It's strange when I think about it; all four of them were so… perfect. In every way too. They were all pretty, and smart, and they all had a special talent. But they never drew attention to themselves. It was almost like they didn't want to be noticed or remembered."

That got all of their attentions. Why would really beautiful girls from a rich family not want to be remembered? Any normal girl would be starved for attention and flaunt their looks and talents. The whole situation with Mandy made no sense.

"What sort of talents?" the Doctor dared to speak up.

"Umm, the oldest was great at sports," Shaye tried to remember. "All of them. Track, basketball, tennis…"

"And the one in my class was great at drawing," Clifton interrupted, helping her out. "She could work with any media and make her art look like it could walk off the page, it was so realistic."

"Then there was the youngest one, about thirteen. She was in the dance class with my friend Ally. She was adorable remember? There wasn't a single type of dance she didn't know or couldn't learn," Mitchell added.

"That's right!" Shaye said excited. "She looked like a teeny little fairy child, I remember!"

"Yeah, but it turned out Mandy was the really magnificent one," Zollie said. "I remember when she started in choir. The teacher made her stand up and sing in front of everyone to see how she reacted under pressure in front of peers and she just sang. You could see how nervous she was of course, but it was like once she'd started she just became the music. Nothing else existed."

"So I hate to break up this lovely little gossip group but is anyone else concerned by the fact she's been napping two hours?" Jack interrupted.

Martha and the Doctor exchanged looks.

"I can go check on her," Shaye said, standing up.

"Actually," Martha said quickly. "I'd like to hear more about her singing and school. It's so different from how it was where I went to school. Let the Doctor go."

Shaye looked at him and shrugged. "Sure."

"I'll be right back, I guess." He said excusing himself and heading for the stairs.

When he reached the top of the stairwell a noise reached his ears and he recognised it immediately. Choking.

"Miranda," he whispered and ran towards the sound.

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XXXMANDYXXX

"We gotta move," momma said.

I had just closed my eyes and curled up as tightly as a caterpillar in the heavy woolen blanket. Over the past few months, I had grown immune to the variety of unpleasant odors woven into it. Most nights, I think I held my breath as much as I breathed anyway. I was always anticipating something terrible would wake me, so I never slept much deeper than the very edge of unconsciousness. My ears were still open, my eyelids fluttering, and the dreams that came tiptoed in on cat's paws.

It had begun to rain harder, and the wind blowing in from the ocean made it impossible to stay dry under the cardboard roof that momma had constructed from some choice cartons she had plucked out of a dumpster behind the supermarket. In the beginning, I would tremble with embarrassment while she sorted through the garbage. Now, I stood by quietly watching and waiting, as uninterested as someone who had lost all memory.

I had learned how to shut out the world and not hear other people talking or see them gaping at us as they walked by. It was almost as if it were all happening to someone else anyway, someone who had borrowed my nearly ten-year-old body to suffer in and endure.

"Where will we go, momma?" I asked.

"Home," she muttered.

"Home? Where's home?"

She didn't answer. Sometimes I thought she hoarded her words the way a squirrel hoarded acorns because she was afraid the day would soon come when she would have nothing left to say. Lately, she was saying less and less even to me.

I blocked my face from the drizzle and sat up. Momma was already stuffing her bedding into her suitcase, forcing it in as if it were screaming and fighting not to be locked away. She closed it and paused. She was so thin now that it always surprised me she was able to carry the suitcase with her bedding and calligraphy supplies.

Every day we set up a small area on the beach where momma attempted to make money by selling calligraphy paintings. Most people who bought any wanted their name in Chinese calligraphy and took momma's word for it that she was doing just that. She could have been spelling out toilet for all they knew.

While she painted with expert strokes, I sat at her side and wove multicolored lanyard key chains that I sold for two dollars each. I usually began the day with a few dozen I had managed to do during the night. Between the two of us, we made enough to eat two, sometimes three, meals and occasionally have enough to buy some new article clothing or old shoes from the thrift store. We had been doing this for months now, ever since we were evicted from 'aunt' Elise's home and then from the hotel.

I'll never forget the day we were evicted from our home with momma's friend Elise and her husband, or 'aunt' Elise and 'papa' as they'd told me to call them. I was only just nine and home from school because I had a bad cough and my mother had brought me to a drug store to get some medication. Who'd have known when we returned we'd find ourselves homeless and alone.

A month before my ninth birthday something in my mother's mind had snapped. She began murmuring about imaginary planets and imaginary races of humans who never died, but rather were reborn as new people over and over again.

Aunt Elise didn't take well to the crazy mutterings and papa started coming home less and less. Aunt Elise often fought with mamma and it wasn't hard to see that it was mamma causing the problem. That worried me because I couldn't remember her ever being so irrational. It seemed momma's temper got worse and worse along with her ramblings until Aunt Elise avoided her at all costs.

It wasn't long after my ninth birthday that aunt Elise had had enough of her. One day, when mamma and I got home from the store, there were police waiting for us when we arrived. While I waited outside momma argued with aunt Elise in the house. It wasn't long before she joined me back on the porch, two policemen flanking her.

"You can thank that human someday for this," she said. "Pack only what you really need. We can't carry too much. I'm not spending money on a taxi."

"Why are we leaving?"

"We can't live here anymore. She's got the police on us to kick us out."

"Where are we going?"

"To a hotel nearby," she said.

It sounded good, but when we arrived, I saw how small it was. The lobby was barely bigger than our living room had been, and we had one room with two double beds and a bathroom.

"What about a kitchen?" I asked.

"We'll eat out when we want hot food. This will have to do for now," she told me.

Her best hope was that 'for now' was forever, only I didn't know that. I didn't know how serious the dying going on in her head was. Because we slept in the same room, I woke up often to hear her nighttime chats with her invisible second self. Most of the time, it was done in whispers, but I often caught a word or two. None of it ever made much sense to me. Maybe she's just dreaming aloud, I thought, and went back to sleep.

She was doing it now as we trekked up the beach. The raindrops had become more like pellets. I kept my head down and lifted my eyes just enough to see her soaked old sneakers pasted with sand and mud plodding forward awkwardly.

"Where are we going?" I cried. I was tired and would have gladly just slept in the rain.

She didn't answer, but from the way she was moving her arms and hands, I knew she was talking to her imaginary self. I could see the top of a bottle of gin in her shabby coat pocket. There was no one else on the beach but us, so there was no one to appeal to for any help. I was feeling worse than ever. The only way I realised I was crying was by the shudder in my shoulders. My tears were mixed in with the rain.

Momma suddenly turned and started toward the side-walk. I hurried to catch up. She carried her suitcase limply. It looked as if it was dragging. Even though I was exhausted myself, I wanted to help her, to take it from her, but she wouldn't let go of the handle.

"I'll carry it!" I cried.

"No, no. This is all I have. Let go," she said.

The way she looked at me sent a sharp pain through my heart. She doesn't recognise me, I thought. My own mother doesn't know who I am. She thinks I'm some stranger trying to steal her things.

"Momma, it's me, Miranda. Let go, and I'll help you."

"No!" she screamed, and tore it out of my grip.

We stared at each other for a moment in the rain. Maybe she realised her momentary amnesia and it frightened her as much as it had frightened me. Whatever, she turned and surged forward.

I sped to keep up with her. We were at a traffic light on West Boulevard Highway, and it turned green for us. She stepped into the road, and I caught up with her to walk side-by-side. We were nearly to the other side when I heard car tires squealing and looked to my right.

The vehicle struck momma first and literally lifted her over my head before it struck me hard in the right thigh. I saw momma slap down on the pavement just before I fell and slid in her direction.

That was how my life began.

"Miranda!" Someone called above my head. "Miranda, wake up!"

Someone was shaking me, or was that my body in shock? I felt like I was out of air, as if someone, or something, had knocked the wind from me. I forced my eyes open gasping for breath, expecting to find myself in the middle of the street, rain pouring down. Instead I found the Doctor's panicked face hovering just above mine and I realised what I thought was rain was actually my own sweat and tears soaking my face.

"I'm okay," I choked, forcing myself into a sitting position. "I'm alright, let go."

The Doctor frowned at me, evidently concerned. "You were having a panic attack in your sleep!"

"Yes, well. Bad dreams can do that," I said dismissively. I looked around me while trying to calm my nerves. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Two hours," he said crossly, feeling my forehead and cheeks. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, it was just a nightmare," I lied to him.

The truth was it was no nightmare. They were memories. Memories that I had buried a long time ago. Memories that would always haunt me and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't forget. I could see it in his face that he knew I was lying to him. I was thankful that he didn't press any further.

"Well, the others are downstairs getting a bit impatient I'd guess so…"

"Right," I interrupted, getting to my feet. "We've got shopping to do. Thanks for coming to wake me up."

He grabbed my arm on my way past and stopped me. I turned to him as he got back to his feet. He stared me down and I felt my hearts quicken with the intensity of his stare. It was like he was seeing through me, into me, and it made me feel naked.

"I understand you don't want to talk about it," he said, his voice low. "But if you change your mind, I'm here. I'll protect you."

I looked up at him startled. This close his scent wrapped around me, teasing my senses and the urge to touch him frightened me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and just nodded.

"Good," he said letting go and stepping around me. "I'll see you downstairs. Oh, and I need to talk to you about your friends."

I shook my head, Martha had already told me my friends wouldn't remember any of yesterday or last night. "It's fine. Martha told me."

The Doctor nodded and I went to the bathroom to tidy my hair and wash my face, giving myself enough time to calm down and gather my thoughts. It wasn't long 'til I was downstairs helping the girls load my clothes into Zollie's van.

I decided it didn't matter how much money I had. I'd shop all day if it meant not having to go home, not having to relax or sleep; because I knew when I did that memory would come crashing back down around me. For so long I'd managed to avoid having to face the reality of it all by burying it in my mind and locking it away. I wasn't ready to face it still, and if shopping gave me a few hours more to avoid it then I'd spend every penny I had and every second I could.

Anything to keep the nightmare that was my reality at bay.

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