A/N Thank you for all your support! You guys have been amazing! Currently trying to find the time to actually write so I'm sorry if updates seem a little slower than normal. Things in my life are getting a little hectic but I'm still putting ideas down on paper as often as I can.
This is a little dark chapter. So be forewarned.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.
Chapter 8
The next morning I woke up feeling like I was ran over by a freight train. My mouth feels like cotton and it has a not so pleasant taste. Ugh! Why did I agree with Daphne to drink so much?
Because you were trying to hide the fact that you're still heartbroken and you were trying to drown your sorrows with tons of vodka shots.
Yeah… thanks for that little information.
I tried to get up so I can go to the bathroom and get an Advil and some water, but as soon as I start to sit up, I feel like I was going to be sick. The room was spinning so much that I just jumped out of bed quickly and ran to the bathroom to throw up.
Well that'll teach you that 5 Jack 'n Cokes and god knows how many vodka shots isn't a good idea.
ARUG! Could you please shut up already? Stupid subconscious always got to think its right.
I am always right remember? I was the one who told you that Jake could handle his own problems that night and look where that got you. My subconscious pointed out to me.
Okay! I get it. Sheesh, could you say 'I told you so' anymore bluntly?
After pulling myself off the floor, I brushed my teeth and took two Advil pills. After I went to my living room and turned on the TV and settled down on the couch to watch the news.
An hour later I remembered that my car was still in the parking lot of the club and I needed to go get it. So I got up, showered, changed, and called a cab. Looking like shit I made my way down the elevators and to the awaiting cab. I pulled out my blackberry and started to check my e-mails when I came across an e-mail from James. I gasped.
Why would he be e-mailing me? What does he want? I could feel my chest start to tighten and my breathing becoming erratic. I hesitated but opened the e-mail and what I saw made me feel sick. There was a picture of me at the club from last night while I was singing. How did he get this?
When we arrived at the club I threw enough money to cover my ride at the driver and quickly made over to my car where I noticed a folded piece of paper stuck to the windshield. It had my name written on it in elegant script. I pulled it off and opened it up. All that was written on it was one word, "soon."
I quickly dialed Daphne's number and she answered on the third ring.
"This had better be good Bella. I feel like shit and I need to sleep this hangover off."
"Daphne, he's here in Seattle!"
"What? Who's here Bella?" she asks.
"James," I replied.
I can hear the shifting of covers on the receiving end.
"How do you know?"
I told her about the e-mail and the letter that was left on my car and she gasped.
"Bella you need to call the police," she said.
"They won't be able to do anything," I said.
"Bella he's stalking you! You need to let them know and get a restraining order out on him," she said forcefully. I knew not to argue with her on this. She won't back down.
"Fine, I'm on my way to the station now. I'll talk to you later," I said before I hung up.
While on my way to the police station, I couldn't help but to think of that night.
FLASHBACK
I was at a frat party drinking beer and socializing. It was my freshman year and I was trying to make as many friends as possible. I also was drinking to I could forget about my heartache for a while.
Across the room there was a good looking blonde haired guy that had beautiful hazel eyes that were boring into me. I could feel the weight of his stare on me and I walked over to where he was. We talked for a while and I learned his name was James and that he was majoring in Chemistry. He was a junior here at Cal State.
"Want to go somewhere a little quieter so we can talk without having to shout over the music?" he asks.
"Sure," I replied.
We made our way towards the back of the house and into a bedroom. It was a small room that had a queen sized bed and a mahogany dresser in the corner. We sat down at the edge of the bed and began to talk about our likes and dislikes.
After a while of talking, he asks, "Bella, can I kiss you?"
"Um… Sure, I guess," I was uncertain.
He leans forward slowly, licking his lips. I licked mine in response and let out a tiny moan. When his lips touched mine, they were soft and warm. I couldn't help but to compare to another set of lips I longed for. There was no spark with James but the kiss was nice.
His hand came up and tangled in my hair at the back of my head and he tilted it so it allowed him to deepen the kiss. After a while of heavy kissing I broke it off breathless.
"I'm sorry James. I can't do this right now." I said, still trying to catch my breath.
"What's wrong Bella? I thought this is what you wanted," he said.
"It was, or at least what I thought it was what I wanted. But I'm just not ready to go into this kind of relationship right now."
"Bella, I don't do the whole relationship thing. And it wasn't nice for you to lead me on. You know you want to do this, and I want it too. Just sit back and relax and let me take care of you," he said with a gleam in his eye that made me shiver, and not in a good way.
"James, I'm sorry. We better get back to the party," I said, trying to get up off the bed.
He stopped me and pulled me back down where he was straddling over me. He brought my hands above my head and held it there with one of his hands. His other hand traveled down my body and I thrashed under him.
"You're going to learn how to sit still. Do you understand me? I don't want to have to do something that you might regret later," he snarled.
"Please, James. Don't…don't do this," I pleaded. Tears welling up in my eyes and spilling over.
"Oh the fun I'm going to have with you," he murmured.
I tried to thrash under his body some more, trying to throw him off of me. It was useless; he was a lot heaver than me.
"Oh princess, seeing you can't sit still, I'm going to have to make you relax a little." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a needle with some liquid inside.
"Please… don't…" I begged again.
"Oh, I love it when you beg me baby," he cooed.
Suddenly I felt a prick in my inner arm and everything started to go hazy. I felt heavy as I fought to stay coherent. I suddenly felt my pants being taken off my body and him pressing against me. Without wasting anytime he slams into me with his dick.
All of a sudden the door slams open and a big guy with dark hair and a girl comes rushing into the room and the guy pulls James off of me. The girl rushes to my side and helps me get dressed and calls the cops.
END FLASHBACK
I don't know how I got there, but when I came out of my memory, I was sitting outside the police station. The memory of what James did to me broke me down again and I couldn't control the sobs that were coming out of my throat. That night I met Daphne and her brother Shawn. They were my saviors and we became best friends ever since.
I talked to the deputy and showed him the note and the e-mail and had a restraining order filed on James. As I made my way back home, I decided to stop off at the coffee shop and get myself a soy green tea latte and an apple fritter. I was walking out of the shop when someone bumped into me. I looked up and realized that it was a woman who could rival any model. Rosalie.
"Sorry," I muttered while looking down and flushing a little.
"Bella?" she asked.
I looked up at her and saw curiosity in her eyes.
"Hi Rose," I replied.
"Hey, how are you? I saw you last night at the club but didn't get a chance to talk to you. Alice wouldn't let me say 'hi' or anything."
"Oh. I'm doing okay. Just needed a little something in my system after the night I had last night." I was truly surprised. Rosalie was talking to me. She was being nice. Rose and I never got along very well. In fact, Rose never got along well with anyone.
"Yeah, so I saw. Oh great performance last night by the way. You really shocked the shit out of us with that song. Edward most of all," she snickered.
"Thanks… I guess."
"Do you have time to sit down and maybe catch up a little?" she asked.
She wanted to catch up? What is going on? Have I stepped into a parallel dimension or something? It was always Alice who would be the one who wanted to be nice and talk. Never in my life would I dream that Rosalie would be that way.
"Um… sure. That'd be great," I smiled.
"Great! Let me get my coffee and I'll meet you over at a booth?" she asks. I nodded.
I picked a booth in the corner next to the window. I wrapped my hands around my cup and waited for her to sit down. When she did she looked at me while taking a sip of her coffee.
"So what have you been up to lately?" she asks.
"Oh, I'm working a lot now. I work at 'Seattle International Publishing House' as a co-editor," I answered.
"No shit. So you work with Tanya?"
"Unfortunately, yes. She's my partner's secretary," I said with a little agitation in my voice.
"Well it's no wonder she's being a bitch towards you," she pointed out.
"Yeah well I try to ignore her most days. She hasn't changed much has she?"
We both laughed.
"No, she sure hasn't."
Rosalie never liked Tanya. She always warned me that something was wrong with that girl, but I never listened. I always tried to see the good in people.
And look where that got you?
Good point…
There was an awkward silence that settled between us. I can see questions burning to be asked in Rosalie's eyes and I mentally braced myself.
"So, I have to ask. What happened between you and Edward exactly?" This is the question I was dreading to hear but more than happy to answer. Maybe she could help me out on how to handle Edward and Alice and somehow restore my friendship with the one who has always been there for me when I needed girl time.
I tried to swallow the lump that formed in my throat.
"Well, what's to say? I walk into Mike's house that night of the party and started looking for Edward. Someone said they saw him go upstairs. So I went up and started opening doors trying to find him. When I did find him, he was all over Tanya with his shirt unbuttoned and it looked like she was in the middle of undoing his pants," I said while glancing down at my drink.
"Where were you before the party?" she asked.
"Jacob's place. He was having… err… relationship problems. He was taking it hard so I went over to help him out. He practically had to throw me in the cab of my truck to get me to leave and convince me that I should be at the party instead of his place," I let out a little chuckle at the thought of him picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder while carrying me to my truck.
"So Jacob was in a relationship when you two slept together?" My eyes shot up to hers in disbelief.
"Jacob and I never slept with each other. Hell, we never even kissed each other on the lips or anything like that. Jacob has been, and always will be, my best friend," I stated firmly. "Besides, Jacob doesn't swing that way," I added.
"What? What do you mean 'he doesn't swing that way'? Are you saying Jacob's gay?" she asked with her eyes wide with shock.
"Yeah. He's been gay since freshman year."
"I had no idea."
"No one knew except me, Quil, Embory, and Sam. He didn't want anyone else to know because being gay in a small town at that age would just cause him more problems then he needed. He made me promise not to tell anyone." I said.
"Wow. So the rumors weren't true. You and Jacob never had a thing for each other."
"Who started those by the way? I just heard about them last week while overhearing Tanya yelling at Edward." I was curious. I wanted to know who started those rumors that led to the ending of my life. I wanted to confront them and shove my six inch high heels up their ass.
"Well I heard it from Lauren who in turn said that Tanya saw you and Jacob on the beach making out."
"Tanya, that figures." That bitch has always been nothing but trouble. Why I tried to befriend her I will never know.
Let's kick her ass!
Couldn't agree more.
"Anyways, yeah, I never slept with Jacob, but every time I try to explain that to Alice or Edward, they always cut me off and tell me to save it for someone who cares. So what am I supposed to do?" I ask while shrugging my shoulders.
"Well, I would just say it anyways, even if they try to tell you to 'save it'. They really need to listen to you. They are the ones who screwed up everyone's lives by believing Tanya," she states matter-of-factly.
"I would rather just except the fact that things between us will never be the same and just cut my losses," I mutter.
"Bella," she sighs. "Of course things aren't going to be like they used to be. We have all grown up and changed. You grew apart from us when you went to California. But that doesn't mean that we can't take a shitty situation and turn it into a good one," she reasoned.
I sighed. "You're right Rose. But just to point out, I didn't grow apart from you guys because I chose to go to California. I was pushed out of your lives and was forced to grow apart from you," I pointed out.
"You're right. And for that, Em and I are sorry. We knew better than to trust Tanya. But the doubt was always there after Alice pointed out you spent a lot of time with him."
"It's because we were best friends. We still are. But it will never be anymore than that between us. I never even looked at him like anything but a friend and brother."
"I guess it comes down to Edward being insecure in your relationship that put those doubts in his head," she mused.
"I never wanted to make him feel insecure."
She looked at me apologetically.
"I know Bella. But it's his own fault for acting before he really thought it threw and didn't bother about talking to you."
"It's all my fault though. I gave him reason to believe by going to Jacob when he called even though he told not to. I made Edward think that Jacob was more important that our relationship."
"Bella. It's. Not. Your. Fault. Edward should have been more trusting in you. He should have talked to you when he first started having doubts. Then, maybe, you'd still be together. It was just a misunderstanding between you two."
"I don't know if he'll see it that way. Or if he'd ever forgive me," I whispered the last part.
"Bella, if he doesn't see it that way, then he's an idiot. You need to make him see that you never were in the wrong. You two belong together Bella. Let me ask you something. Do you still love him?" she asks.
I hesitated. Do I still love him? I looked into her blue eyes and tried to contemplate if I still was really in love with Edward Cullen. I knew last week I thought I still loved him. The way my body reacted when I saw him was like it remembered what it was like to hold him and to be with him. My heart hurts every time I see him, think of him, or even hear his name. But did that mean I still love him?
"I don't know," was all I could say to her.
"Think about it. If you love him at all, then fight for him. Make him understand," she said.
With that she got up.
"It was good to see you Bella. Maybe we could get together sometime," she handed me her card and told me to call her.
"Hey wait!" I called out after her. I dug through my purse and pulled out my business card and handed it to her.
"Bye Bella," she said.
"Bye Rose."
And with that she turned on her heel and headed out of the coffee shop.
Rose gave me a lot to think about. Do I still love Edward? How will I be able to talk to Edward and Alice if they didn't want to listen to a word I say. They don't even want me to come near them. What am I supposed to do?
I knew I had to think about these things. But right now was not the time. Right now I needed to think about the psychopath that is out there stalking me right now.
