8: Not Katniss

Gale POV

On the surface, everything in District Thirteen has been running like clockwork, just as it always had been before. To the few, whom I am lucky enough- or perhaps unlucky enough- to be included in, it is chaos. What happened in District Eight was unexpected and sent some of the people in charge into paranoia. Or is it not paranoia if people are actually trying to kill you? I suppose it doesn't matter, what matters is that we take the measures needed to stop something like this from happening again.

They had thought that the bombings in Eight were over, that it was safe to go in and make some propos. I'm sure that we have some spies in the Capitol, so that leaves two options. Option one, our spies gave unreliable information, perhaps Snow found out about them and fed them the false info to set us up. Or option two, a spy has managed to infiltrate District Thirteen. This one seems far less likely, considering how tight they are with information and access to the District at all.

But it was apparently a big enough consideration that it was necessary to call several meetings, review the security footage they have of all private areas and stay up half the night trying to figure out if there is a spy here and if so, who. I guess a night of work is a sacrifice that we should be willing to make to keep the information secure and save lives, but it seems unnecessary for such a low probability. If there was a spy, surely I wouldn't have escaped the Capitol, we wouldn't be able to save all of the people we have, maybe I would have been killed in Twelve..

I stare down at the purple tattoo on one wrist and the communicuff on the other. That was a positive side effect of District Eight I suppose, they've given me something so that I can be given information quickly and reliably. It in no way makes up for the negative impact though: Katniss's sister being captured and taken to the Capitol. Maybe to be tortured for info, maybe as a bargaining chip with Katniss, maybe both.

I was never that close to Prim, there was a fairly large age difference and we never talked that much. But I do know how Katniss felt about her. Catnip loved Prim enough to volunteer in the Hunger Games for her, if she finds out that Prim has been captured, it will certainly crush her. She'll do whatever Snow wants her to if Prim is at stake, if he threatens her with Prim's life. And I can imagine what it would be like to have a younger sibling in that situation. If it was Rory.. I don't know what I would do if it was Rory or Posy.

The communicuff vibrates, signalling that I have a message: COME TO MR1, INFO ABOUT MOCKINGJAY.

My heart begins to beat fast. There hasn't been a day since I've been here, not one, that I haven't thought about how Katniss is holding up. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, combat training, weapons design, free time or hunting, she always creeps into my head. Sometimes I try to push thought of her away; they make me worry more, and stress leads to mistakes. But other times I want to clutch the memories of her close, see exactly what she was like when she hunted, when she and I sparked the rebellion with our cyanide pills..

I hurry over to MR1- running isn't allowed in District Thirteen unless one is training or there are special circumstances, but I'm not going to wait for this information just because some peacekeeper substitute doesn't want people to run. MR1 is Coin's meeting room, it must be important news for Coin to care. Maybe they've found where she's being kept! We can save her, she can come back and we can be together and fight the Capitol without fear for each other.

I am panting when I slam my hand into the doors of the meeting room, flinging them open and striding in. Coin and a few others look at me disapprovingly and I take a minute to wipe the sweat off my face and push my hair back before taking my seat.

"What's the news about Katniss?" I ask, breathlessly.

"A few days ago, we started to get signal from one of the tracker-microphones given to soldiers who may be taken prisoner. It's an emergency precaution. This one belonged to Primrose Everdeen, Katniss's sister."

"What did she say? Do you know where Katniss is?"

"We do, but-"

"-When's the rescue mission?" I jump ahead. "This is the opportunity we've been waiting for, right?" They exchange glances and are silent for a moment. "There will be a rescue mission, won't there?" I press. "She's the symbol of this revolution, we can't leave her in the Capitol."

"Gale," one of the advisors says. I swivel my head to look at her; she looks slightly afraid, her lip trembling. "Why don't you listen to the footage we have first, OK?"

This is bad. I want to hear the footage, of course I do, but if they're refusing to listen about getting her back and not giving any hint that they are.. Something's wrong. She's using that gentle voice, the one that people use when they're trying to calm someone down or persuade them of something.

"There isn't going to be a rescue mission, is there?" I ask. Without waiting for an answer, I press on. "Let me hear the footage."

Coin presses a button on the machine and it starts to play. There's some background noise, a bit of static and something that sounds like water flowing, there's also a rhythmic thumping, but the voices are clear and easy to make out. Katniss. Prim. It starts out as I would expect, Katniss catching up with Primrose, but then I get more worried. Katniss is asking about Thirteen, she says it's bad here, she says that Snow has shown her everything she needs to see.

Then Katniss has a flashback, and I think I know when it was to. The jabberjays in the Quarter Quell. As I did then, I want to be next to her now, hug her, reassure her that it isn't real. Then the logical part of my brain takes over. This has happened. It's film, there's nothing I can do now.

Finally, Prim asks Katniss if she is a traitor and I have a horrible feeling that I know how this will be answered. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, that's something. Katniss isn't so brainwashed as to agree with the Hunger Games, or with the way that Districts are treated in general, but her assessment of Thirteen is brutal. That they arranged to have her captured, that they will turn Panem into another dictatorship, only with Coin in charge instead of Snow.

Her sister's voice is trembling as she tells Katniss what she thinks of her. Traitor. Katniss is a traitor. I hear Snow order that she be taken from the room and Coin cuts off the video there. The words echo in my mind. Another dictatorship. Traitor. Planned capture. Traitor. Katniss is a traitor. No, not Katniss, not my Catnip, not the girl that I hunted in the woods with, that I fought alongside with in the Games, not the girl that started an uprising with her hatred of the Capitol.

I saw glimmers of the old Katniss when she was so happy for Prim and when she talked about the Districts, but by and large, this is a new Katniss. Snow's Katniss, the Capitol Katniss, brainwashed Katniss. We need to get her out before it becomes worse, unless what Snow has done is permanent. He couldn't have drugged her, could he? Or used some Capitol brainwashing technique that can't be reversed?

My breaths come fast as my mind conjures up scenarios, each more horrific than the last. What if Snow has actually, properly convinced Katniss that what he's doing is right? This seems almost worse than the idea that Katniss was drugged, then at least she would have had no choice, if it's genuine then he has actually changed her. Maybe I'll have to kill Katniss at some point in this war. No, I can't do that, I can't, I won't.

"We need to get her out of there," I say. "Snow's brainwashing her, we have to stop him. We know where he is, we need to rescue her and bring her back here. She's the mockingjay, you can't just leave her to join the Capitol!"

"We can't," one of the men says firmly. "If we retake Katniss, she'll hate us even more for dragging her away from Snow. What Snow has told her about us is largely true, as Primrose admitted, and exposing her to that will only strengthen her belief that President Snow is right. If we imprison her until we can trust her, she never will trust us. But we can't let her spread her beliefs to the people of the Districts."

"You're going to just leave her there? You promised me that if I became your symbol, you would rescue Katniss. I won't be the mockingjay if you don't save her. I can convince her that Snow was lying, she considered the possibility, remember?"

"Snow wasn't lying, not about that part. But Katniss is too dangerous to be left alive. If she starts spreading what she's been told from the Capitol channels across Panem, people will doubt this rebellion. They'll leave. They love Katniss Everdeen, they don't love District Thirteen."

"I'm not going to help you if you kill Katniss," I promise. "Is she more dangerous than I am helpful?"

"Yes," one of them says bluntly. "And we can turn this to our advantage. Make it look like the Capitol killed her. You will do interviews saying your hatred for them, your anger and sadness, especially if genuine is emotional gold. People will be rushing here to rebel. Even Capitolites will want their city to burn. It's not ideal, but it's definitely workable."

"I think you missed something. If you send assassins after Katniss, I won't be doing interviews. I won't be doing propos, I'm not going to be your symbol anymore. Do you understand?" I ask, oddly calm. "If you kill Katniss, I will tell everybody what you did. I will join with the Capitol to destroy you. You can't kill Katniss. She's under my protection, under your protection by our contract."

"You won't," Coin says. "I know that you are unwilling to throw away the lives of the rebels for one person, no matter how much you love her. These lives would include the lives of your mother, brother and sister. President Snow would have them killed, because I know that they would not join him."

Is that a threat? Or is Coin just being honest? Snow isn't merciful, I know that. He kills his enemies, Seneca Crane can attest to that. Am I willing to let my family die to save Katniss? Well, no, I wouldn't be saving Katniss. They've made their minds up on what will happen. I would be avenging her. It's not worth it, not if Posy and Rory would have to die. Not if so many rebels will have to die and Snow in charge. She has me trapped in her plans. There's nothing I can do.

"You're right." I spit the words out. "I won't let innocents die to avenge Katniss. I don't want this, but I will help you. I'll do what you say. The rebellion is more important than one person's life, no matter how much I love her."

"Good. I'm glad that we have your loyalty. You may leave now, if you wish. We must plan the assassination, and I doubt that you want to hear this."

"You're right. I don't. I'll see you at my next propo." The next propo will probably be the one after Katniss dies and they know that. I can feel their eyes burning into my back as I head towards the door. I stop and turn around. "One more thing. Make it painless." The door slams behind me.

I start to run back to my room. The gravity of what I've said comes crashing down on me, and what was anger in MR1 has morphed sadness. Katniss will die. If only we had saved her, got her out of Thirteen. Katniss will die. The thoughts weigh down on me as I imagine her body. Tears drip down from my eyes and a lump rises in my throat. Katniss will die.

When I get back to my room, Posy is already there, sitting on my bed. She sees me, catches my eye and runs up to me. She hugs me around the middle and drags me back to my bed and sits with me. I wipe away the tears from my face and try to swallow the lump in my throat. It doesn't work, and my tears replace the ones that I wipe off.

"What's wrong?" she asks. "You're crying," she states accusingly. "You don't cry. I've never seen you cry before. Not even in the Games when you got stabbed."

I still have the scars from that. That was bad, but physical pain can't compare to the mental pain of losing Katniss after everything that we've been through together. "Katniss will die," I tell her. Catnip. My Catnip will die. "I don't want to talk. You're too young to understand. Just leave me be."

She does as I say, reluctantly, I can tell. She doesn't want to leave me, but I don't want to really talk right now. I want to remember Katniss, hang onto those memories, picture her face. She will be dead soon, and I'm just letting it happen. I have no choice, I try to tell myself. Katniss would do the same if it were me. Wouldn't she?

xXx-X-xXx

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for the review, Olivia (guest), I'm glad you like it. Looking back on the first one, I'm pretty sure I'll have to do some editing. But that can wait until after this one is done.

-MoonOfPluto