I am afraid that something dastardly has occurred.
I am rather stuck on exactly how to end this. I am lacking in motivation. What I am posting now is the first half of part 5. It's not a cliffhanger, I don't like those so I attempt to avoid posting them incase I never get around to finishing.
It may be nicely rounded off, but it isn't finished. There are bits and pieces to tie together, rather large bits and pieces… yeah.
I am really, really really sorry that it took so long to write. I wanted to post them together, so I'm now working on the second half, but it may take a while, let me repeat, I'm sorry.
But for now, on with half one of part five! Disclaimers, basically I don't own anything. Except, amazingly enough, wizards' checkers is mine. MINE MINE MINE MINE okay sorry but it feels good to have something that I didn't steal from JK Rowling or that guy who wrote Naruto. (No offense to people who think I should know the author's name.)
BUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSS
"What?"
"Wizards' checkers!" Luna explained cheerfully. "I've enchanted the board, you see, and now it resembles wizards' chess in the way the pieces move."
"Wizards' chess?" Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Am I missing something…?"
Luna shook her head happily. "I don't think it's that complicated, it's a checkers board that moves on command."
True, Luna had finally charmed her own board game. Remember that talking, cheating chess game…? Well, Luna dug it up the other day, and remembering all the times it had made her wish she had a better enchanted board game, she went to go buy a muggle checker board. (Incidentally, it was from a certain antique shop in Ottery St Catchpole that had had to go out of business because a certain rambunctious customer had wrecked the most of their merchandise, so they were having a sale.)
She had worked it so that the pieces levitated where they were asked, and when taken, dissolved into the wooden game board until the game had been won. (She thought breaking them like in wizards' chess was a bit dramatic, it was much cleaner this way.) (Although Itachi might've gotten a bigger kick out of that.)
"Well," Itachi shrugged. "Shall we play?"
"Let's shall." (Credit to Dianna.)
It had been several months now since Luna had come to the Akatsuki, and she had proved very useful, even though she held back an awful lot. She never hurt anybody; if someone unavoidably had to be killed she would go elsewhere, turn a blind eye. Many a life was saved by her memory charm, though. (Yay Even in the Akatsuki she's one of the good guys.)
Deidara never quite got over her, nor the shame of his simple defeat. He tended to avoid Luna these days. Although he had been known to stare from across the room every once and a while. No one but Itachi really noticed, and he just discarded it because Deidara never came anywhere near them.
But for the moment, it was just Luna and Itachi in a mostly and unusually deserted Akatsuki lounge, except for Konan with her headphones, and Zetsu watching paint dry.
Giraffe. I just noticed now that back in part one, large paragraph at the end, Luna's father was worried that she was missing, well as her friends, because she had been kidnapped. But she'd moved out, so they weren't there. They didn't know. Sooooo, I am apologizing here and now for that slip up.
"King me." Itachi sat back smugly in his seat, being incredibly confident that he would win. I'm pretty confident he's gonna win too, and as I'm the author(ess. Fine.) you can pretty much bet on it.
Luna sighed and kinged him. (Okay. I don't know a whole lot about checkers. Don't play much. So if I get something wrong don't kill me.)
The game resumed, Itachi watching each time on of (Luna's) pieces disappeared into the board like Zetsu into the earth. Itachi's hadn't disappeared at all yet, so he wasn't sure if it worked the same way.
"You there, number three, move to f-6." He said, pointing vaguely at one of his playing pieces. It jumped up and, hopping over two of Luna's pieces, landed just where Itachi had instructed. Luna shook her head as one of the pieces that had been taken sunk into the checkerboard.
The other one sank halfway into the board and stopped.
Luna frowned. That wasn't supposed to happen. She prodded the checkerboard with her wand, the half-stuck piece quivered but stayed where it was.
"What happened?" Itachi asked, bemused at the stubborn game piece.
"I don't know exactly, I can only assume I messed up the charm." Luna said, contemplating the board. She tapped the tip of her wand to her chin like we might chew on a pencil eraser (I don't.), which caused Itachi to point out that she was growing a wispy beard just where her wand was hitting.
She blushed and set it right.
"I think I can fix it, though," she said after a minute, and before Itachi said anything, she flicked her wand and muttered under her breath.
The pieces all sprouted back up onto the board, and Luna waved her wand again.
The checkerboard stayed exactly the same, but Luna looked pleased.
"I think it worked," She said contentedly.
It makes me sad to say that you think she would have learned her lesson about experimenting with magic when she was nine.
"So I assume we have to restart the game?" Itachi sighed.
"That would be prudent," Luna replied, although she knew she could have set the board back how it had been if she had tried. But she had been losing... and Itachi would win either way.
"You go first." Itachi offered, which was either signs of chivalry or Itachi showing off that he could win anyhow.
Luna considered the board. "Five, to E7." She instructed, and her circular army man jumped to her directions.
"Five to B3."
About thirty seconds later Itachi was watching with his ingrown smirk as Luna's circular army man sunk into the 'antique' wooden checkerboard.
Luna shook her head laughing. "You don't give a girl a chance," She teased. He smiled at her. (How can he not? It's Itachi and Luna.)
The checkerboard made an odd wheezing noise and spat out Luna's red checkers soldier. Luna looked down at it, and frowned.
"That's odd…" she said slowly.
The board fizzled a bit, seeming a little bit possessed. And then, because without special effects it seems so dull, an odd sort of puce lightning seemed to strike from it, so quickly that Itachi couldn't be sure he'd seen it. But as Luna was looking a little frightened too, he assumed it wasn't just him.
"That's not good." Luna said.
"What did it do?" Itachi groaned.
"I-" but she didn't get any farther than that because Deidara was storming in. his hair tie was pink and fluffy.
"Might've been that." Luna said, trying to keep from smiling because Deidara looked so outraged.
Itachi was laughing. Which takes a bit, seeing as he's…Itachi.
"Okay," Deidara mumbled fiercely, as though he was having a little trouble talking. "Someone tell me what this is about."
He stuck out his tongue, it was covered in angry looking burn marks, and it had swelled a bit.
Luna winced. "Oops. Guess it was worse."
"Not only," Deidara snapped, stumbling over his sore tongue. He brought up his hands and they stuck out their tongues.
Burned as well.
Itachi was still laughing. "Then what's the pink rubber band?"
Deidara started, looking up as though he could see it. "Ah-" His face was turning red. "Forgot about that."
While he was occupied, Luna took out her wand and flicked it slightly, because luckily enough healing burns was something she could do. With a wand and no weird herbs.
Deidara barely seemed to notice that he could talk straight. "It was a dare, okay?" He spat frustratedly, "It's not like I wear this for…for fun or something."
But Itachi was still shaking when Deidara turned and stalked out of the room.
Luna couldn't help laughing a bit too, but mainly because Itachi was laughing. Some laughs are a little more contagious to certain people, I should say.
Luna tried once again to fix the board. She took more time on it, cast a few more spells, precaution.
"Can we try, just once more?" She asked.
"Hell yeah." Itachi grinned. "That was great the first time around."
Luna smiled. "All right, then, you go first this time."
Itachi raised an eyebrow. Somewhere, across the continent, Gaara felt a random pang of jealousy.
"Come on," Luna rolled her eyes. "You're going to win anyway."
"True," Itachi shrugged. "Then, four to H3."
And so the game commenced.
As Luna's first piece was taken, she held her breath to see if it would stay quite. Itachi held his breath to see what hijink it would come up with next.
They waited…nothing happened, and Luna was relieved. Itachi was slightly disappointed, but there you go.
And then the board began to rattle. Luna looked a bit frightened, and Itachi was wondering if it would finish off Kisame for him.
Luna shifted over towards Itachi and cast a silent shield charm around the both of them before the now scarlet flash struck.
Shield charm receding, Luna stayed where she was, and she and Itachi surveyed the room for any change the bright red lightning could have influenced. Konan looked a little fizzled, and Zetsu had looked away from the wall in confusion, (oh he's very confused indeede… evil laughter keep reading) so apparently the second flare had attracted more attention than the last one. (Not including Deidara, who I don't feel like counting. Although he was plenty aware of the first explosion for the all of them.)
"Maybe we should just play regular checkers," Luna sighed. "I can work on this later." She waved her wand, sucking the pieces back out of the chessboard. Itachi made a face, but got up obediently (wow when did that happen) and fished out his nice checkerboard from the closet, where Kakuzu had thrown it roughly.
"Shall I walk you to your defeat?"
"Why thank you."
Watching paint dry, if you've ever tried it, is incredibly boring.
Especially when the wall hasn't been painted.
But it's not like Zetsu had anything better to do. Well, one side of him did, but the other side refused to get up and go get the book he'd been reading. Does that make sense? Good. Explain it to me.
A minute ago, he'd been staring at the wall, wishing it were painted, and then it was. Not a lot, just one small portion. It was a bright red, which seemed such a random color at the time. Just one square was painted.
And it was already dry.
He swore, the other side of him gasped.
Immuna call them zets1 and zets2. Zets1 is the black half. When I refer to Zetsu, it means both of them. Or him as an entity. I don't really understand how I'm going to pull this off. Okay, now that that's cleared up, onward.
Zetsu turned away from the wall, confused and bored out of his skull. Konan was tuned out underneath her annoying headphones, and Itachi was playing checkers with Luna.
Zetsu watched them a while.
Well, not really.
He watched one of them a while.
Who can guess which one? Dianna, because she knows the direction I'm headed in. the rest of you, because you're smart and know that it doesn't make sense for him to stare at Itachi. Which it doesn't, really, although it makes barely more sense for him to stare at Luna. All of him, yes.
She looked good today.
Really good.
He argued with himself quietly a bit, and Deidara walked in. without a pink scrunchy. He glanced over at Luna as well, then went to the watching-nonexistent-paint-dry spot.
Apparently, it's not an uncommon pastime. Wow these people need lives. Or I need to stop making them look bad. Or straying from the plot on tangents like this. Sorry.
"There's paint," Deidara remarked surprisedly. That may not be a word. Spell check says it's not. Oops, tangent. "Zetsu, did you…?" Deidara strayed off, having noticed that Zetsu was staring fixedly at a certain blonde witch. He grinned knowingly.
Zets1 noticed. He looked over, which looked really creepy because zets2 was still watching Luna.
"You got it too?" Deidara asked, eyebrow raised.
"Got what?" Zets1 said blankly.
Deidara smirked. "The lovebug. The Hots. What do you call it?"
Zets1 just stared at him. "What?" he repeated.
Zets2 looked over at last, just as confused.
Deidara frowned. "Come on, Zetsu, you were looking at her like she was something to eat."
Zets1 brought his fist down on a nearby and conveniently placed bookstand. "That's it!"
"What's it?" Zets2 asked, and Deidara stared, he never had gotten over the way Zetsu talked to himself.
"Eating! We need to eat her!" Zets1 exclaimed.
"Hmm, you might be right," Zets2 said, glancing back at Luna. "Never wanted to eat anything so much before, though."
Deidara looked slightly alarmed. "Wh- it's an expression!" he complained, but Zetsu had closed his awesome flytrap in excited contemplation. Deidara groaned and went to lie down.
For the millionth time, Zetsu found himself watching Luna from across the room. He had decided to eat her some time when Itachi was not around, as getting past Itachi and then getting to Luna would be harder than eliminating the first step all together.
Deidara had tried to dissuade him several times, insisting that he was nuts and couldn't he just eat something else anyhow. But every time Zetsu thought maybe he wouldn't, one glance at Luna would change his mind.
And so he continued his careful planning, lying in wait for the time to spring.
Later that evening, very late, in fact, as the Akatsuki lounge was deserted, Luna and Itachi sat on the small couch (incidentally, these are called loveseats ) watching a small fire burn. It was in a fireplace, albeit a roughly created one, as Itachi had decided it was cold and kicked a hole in the rock wall. Luna provided the flames.
And so they sat, Itachi's arm around Luna, mesmerized by the flickering light that was the fire.
"Hold it."
Itachi spoke suddenly, his eyes had not moved from the flame.
"Hmm?" Luna looked up at him. "Hold what?"
Itachi shook his head. "Not you." He stroked her head as he stood up. "You." He turned toward the doorway.
Kisame was heading past the doorway to the lounge. He turned his head, wincing all suspicious-like.
"(Where have, you, been! Beds empty! No note! Car gone! You could have died, you could have been seen!!!) Kisame," Itachi said, instead of Mrs. Weasley's rant. "You never come in this late."
Kisame made a face. "I can come in late if I want."
"Your face is all red."
"It was cold."
"You face gets bluer in the cold."
"You don't know that."
"I've worked with you long enough to know that your face turns bluer in the cold. And it's bright red."
Luna just sort of watched in amusement. She had already figured out what was up, having intuition about what people might be thinking.
"It's none of your beeswax, okay?" Kisame was saying, in hushed tones as to not draw more attention.
"Hmm, and yet let's go back to part one where you clearly messed with my beeswax," Itachi told him.
Kisame made yet another face (so mature) and walked away.
Because he was too lame to come up with another insult, yet I think Kakuzu is the only Akatsuki lame enough to use your mom or your face. Even as a last resort.
Itachi shook his had, and settled back down next to Luna. He grinned at her.
Who of course smiled back, that just happens.
"Who do you think she is?" Luna asked.
"I don't know," Itachi replied, "But I intend to find out."
And so it was that the next night, Itachi was stationed outside the Akatsuki caves, (the back door that led to the village Luna used to stay at) waiting for Kisame.
Sure enough, he came.
He made his way swiftly through the trees, and Itachi took off after him.
And followed him undetected by Kisame.
Although there was someone who knew he was gone.
Which was Zetsu.
Who is kinda the greatest outdoor spy there ever was.
I think.
Luna was sitting in her room with a book she had found (called 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' ok just kidding) on Wizarding trinkets, good luck charms, and hover charmed bracelets that were hot on the market years ago, comparing them to today's goods.
She had a pot of tea warming under bluebell flames, (you know the ones) and a cup of the same by her side.
Unnoticed by her, she was not the only being in the room.
If you haven't guessed, Zetsu had left the great outdoors. Well, technically, the caves are part of the great outdoors, but that's beside the point. And he was, at the moment, stationed silently behind the innocent blonde witch.
Luna noticed nothing, as she no longer felt threat from the Akatsuki with her wand, and had no foeglass, sneakascope or dark detector of any sort in her possession.
And so Zetsu crept closer, because if she noticed him a moment too soon he would find himself pinned to the floor unable to move. Which would pretty much stop him devouring her.
And that would be…bad? For Zetsu, I guess, but I'm really hoping you, as the reader, are not hoping Luna to be eaten. If you are, please just stop reading. Get out of here. That's just not even funny. How could you be to mean to her? What had she ever done to you? If you answered 'she stole my Itachi' because you're a fan girl, why are you even reading this?
Okay that whole paragraph was one long tangent. And I didn't mean it come back and read my fanficiton…T.T
Kisame had stopped.
Outside the very teashop that held so many memories for Itachi. He walked into it, smiling his fishy smile.
So Itachi followed. Kisame was very preoccupied, because Itachi was able to find himself a table and sit in the open without notice.
Every minute or so Kisame would glance nervously at the door. As though he was wondering whether someone would show up.
Insecure dolt.
Itachi sat in silence, watching Kisame to see when the right girl approach.
The little bell over the door dinged once more, and Itachi saw Kisame perk slightly. So he looked over at the door.
A scholarly looking sort of girl walked in, with glasses and a shy sort of look. She fidgeted nervously with the strap of her book bag, strung across her shoulder, looking around. (Like a continental soldier does your book bag hang low…) She caught Kisame's eye, and hurried to sit down with him.
It reminded Itachi of when he used to sit with Luna in the little Ivy covered café. That was a while ago… he was reminiscing fondly (Itachi does that???) before he heard Kisame speak.
"Lettuce," He greeted her happily. "It's good to see you."
"You, too," she told him. She smiled at him, and Kisame flushed.
Yup, Kisame was head over heels.
Man, Itachi thought to himself, I am so glad my image wasn't mutilated like so when Luna came round.
"Later, um, there's a water park, if you wanted to…?" Lettuce was saying, looking down and fidgeting a bit.
Kisame's beady eyes lit up "I- if you want to," He stumbled over the words as they streamed out.
"…Yeah." Lettuce looked back up at him. "That would be fun."
They just sat there blushing at each other.
Itachi had his face in his hands. This was embarrassing. They obviously weren't getting anywhere; they couldn't even talk to each other coherently. Luna was so much easier to be around. Itachi wanted to tell the whole teashop he didn't know them. Itachi had lost what little respect he might have held for his partner.
He couldn't take any more, he left for the caves.
Deidara's Minion Magazine had disappeared.
He suspected Tobi, but then again he always suspected Tobi. Either way, he was storming towards the lounge, and whoever had taken it might find they had fewer limbs than they were used to.
He passed an open door, glancing inside as he swept passed out of habit. He stopped. Looked again.
Zetsu was right behind Luna, flytrap spread wide.
Deidara yelped a bit, and instead of doing the obvious and sensible thing of going and blowing Zetsu up, he ran to go find Itachi.
Sometimes panic makes us stupid.
Hmm? What was that?" Luna looked up from her book. She was sure she had heard something, from the doorway, perhaps. She turned to look-
And instead found herself staring into the assorted eyes of a looming Zetsu.
"Om nom nom!" Zetsu said, because om nom nom is an awesome phrase when you're about to eat someone.
Luna didn't quite understand why Zetsu was behind her, because having gotten used to him over the past few months she didn't really reflect on the fact that she was being considered lunch.
Zetsu stared down at her, arguing with himself.
Which isn't uncommon, as it's Zetsu. But the funny thing was he wasn't arguing with Zets1 or Zets2, it was all of him arguing with all of him.
He could eat Luna then and there.
Chomp.
That would be it.
But what would he do then?
"Tea?" Luna held up another cup, which she had conjured as Zetsu wasn't paying attention.
Zets2 blinked. Zets1 stared. Which I guess makes him winking, but isn't the effect I was going for.
Itachi strolled into the caves, heading toward the lounge to see if that checkerboard still worked.
And nearly literally, he ran into Deidara.
Who looked a little flustered. (Which might be an understatement.)
"Itachi!" He gasped. "Zetsu…Luna…eating…argh!"
Itachi just sort of stared. "Um…what?"
"Zetsu's eating Luna!" Deidara screamed at him, having gotten his breath back. Although I still think he should have just helped her himself. Stop telling me I could just change it, being the author. That's not nearly as interesting.
And Itachi was already running down the hall, no longer headed toward the Akatsuki lounge.
Why the hell was Zetsu trying to eat Luna?
That could be pondered later.
When Luna was safe.
Fast as his legs could carry him, which is incredibly fast, Itachi was at Luna's door. It was open, as he had suspected so, as otherwise it would have been magically locked and Zetsu wouldn't have been able to get in.
He stopped.
Zetsu was indeed(e) in the room with Luna. But he wasn't eating her.
They were having an odd sort of tea party.
Itachi just stood in the doorway in confusion, until Luna noticed him. (It didn't take long. She has some sort of Itachi sensor, I think.)
Itachi!" she called, and Zetsu looked over. "Want to have a tea party?"
Itachi opened his mouth to decline, but was he really gonna reject an offer to drink tea with Luna? Hell no.
"Okay." Itachi shrugged, and went to sit down with them, Luna conjuring a third teacup and pouring tea into it for him.
Zetsu watched all jealous-like as Luna handed him the teacup with such a warm smile on her face. Not that he knew it was jealousy.
Deidara peeked into the room. His jaw dropped.
Well, you can't blame him. He was expecting to see Zetsu trying to eat Luna and Itachi trying to kill Zetsu and instead they're all having a tea party.
Itachi raised an eyebrow at Deidara, who interpreted it to mean 'we'll talk about this later.'
He turned to slink off and dread, but somehow ended up staying.
If you were interested, it ends up that Tobi did not steal Deidara's magazine, that was Kakuzu, and both later came to join the party as well.
Please tell me you can see the bizarre irony in half or more of the Akatsuki sitting down and having a tea party with Luna Lovegood.
Omnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnom
Lettuce Midorikawa. If you read Tokyo Mew Mew, you will be gasping and saying wait a minute it isn't-
But it is. It's lettuce. Yeah. Pairing of the fish people. But, MORE DISCLAIMERS, I don't own her, or the pairing either. That was Dianna's idea. She just came to school one day and said, 'I made a pairing!' and so I used it. There. But it's hers, not mine. I don't own Tokyo mew mew, Lettuce, or anything except wizards' checkers. (Yes…)
Ok. You may also be groaning at me and saying 'please please please stop making every single Akatsuki member fall for Luna…' truth is? I'm out of Ideas. With Luna's power, you can't have difficult problems including large fights or power and stuff so I am confined to problems that can't be solved by magic, which leads to people falling in love. I promise that I will not end this with the entire Akatsuki and Luna's feet. I think I'd have to commit suicide if I did that for shame, and that doesn't exactly tickle my fancy.
Okay. 'Wanna have a tea party Itachi?' 'Okay!' was taken from Kakashi Kisame wars, go look it up on Youtube it's literally thirty seconds long and well worth your while.
Well, there. Eventually I will, I repeat I WILL finish the next half. It's halfway done. But it may take a bit. And it may end up being the last of the Lunitachi series… it makes me sad…but it may be.
Please, please, please review, If you don't I'll be tormented forever about whether or not anybody liked the chapter at all and be to insecure to post the second half… okay that's a lie I'll post it anyway despite if everyone hates this now.
