Puffed up Family Guy Fanfiction Series
Episode 1: Puffed up Family Guy
Chapter 8: Discoveries
Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy or Powerpuff Girls. PPG belongs to Craig McCracken, and Family Guy to Seth MacFarlane. They are both brilliant show creators and I hope both shows continue.
Rumors are that a Powerpuff Girls TV Movie is in the works based on an interview with Tara Strong
Plus, rumors have it that a PGG Flash movie is currently in the works.
Enjoy! Spring Break is finally here!
TV-PG-DLV
Meanwhile, somewhere out in the Quahog golf course, Peter and the Professor were having a blast, driving around in the golf cart, whacking balls through all 18 holes and making everyone run for cover. Currently, they were at the 6th hole, and the professor was leading him 14 to 67. Peter was always a chip off the old block when it came to sports. But when it came to golf, he sucked at it worse than any other sport. He could even play pool better than he played golf.
Actually, to tell the truth, he was actually pretty good at golf. But today, he was doing terrible, losing by over 50 points.
"OK, Dave. I hope you're ready to lose, because I am on fire!" Peter said, waltzing up to the green, and dropping his ball on the ground.
"Yeah, maybe for losing."
"What're you talking about? I'm beating you by 53 points! I gotta...wait, wait, it's lowest score wins?"
"Um...yes."
"Oh. Oh crap! And here I was, missing all those shots on purpose!"
"On purpose!? I thought you just plain sucked at this!"
"No, no, that's baseball."
(Cue Cutaway)
Yankee Stadium: The perfect setting for our next cutaway. It was not the setting for the world series, but rather for a little league game. Peter was coaching, but since his team was short a player, he decided to fill in. He was up to bat. His team was down 7-5, and he needed a grand slam to win the game. It was the bottom of the ninth, and the pressure was on.
He was using a glass bat instead of a wooden bat for who knows why. He stepped up to the plate, and readied to swing the bat and hit a home run. The pitcher, 5'8'', white jersey, blue decorations, pitched a fast ball at him. It spiraled towards Peter and he reacted quickly. but not in the way a normal person would. He swung alright, but he let go of his glass bat, and it swung all the way to the pitcher.
As soon as it made contact with the pitcher, it broke into a trillion pieces, some of them getting in his eyes. He screamed in pain, swearing outloud. He covered his eyes in pain, and fell to the ground screaming.
"Oh god!" Peter ran over to the pitcher, apologizing like crazy. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to let go-I'm so sorry. Can I help you up?"
"NO! I think you've done enough for a day!" The pitcher screamed to him, getting up in distress, and heading for the hills. Peter slugged his way back to home plate, and radied for the next pitched to come out.
"Oh well. I may have messed that up-" He began, getting out another bat...this time a giant tree stump. "But with this, I'm a shoo-in to get a grand slam!"
Meanwhile, the next pitcher up, took a good look at the log Peter was using, and was about ready to charge in at him and rip his tonsils out. "HEY! FATASS AT HOME PLATE!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "If you're gonna hit, at least use a real bat!"
(End Cutaway)
"And to this day I'm never, ever, ever allowed back into Yankee Stadium. Not even to go watch my favorite baseball team, the New York Yankees."
"I thought your favorite team was the Boston Red Sox."
Peter's eyes suddenly opened, realizing that he just made a big mistake, about his favorite team. "Oh. Well then, explain this jersey!" He pulled out from behind him a Dodgers Jersey, which had mustard all over it. "Oh damn! This ain't mine! Oh well. Anyway," He threw away the jersey an stepped up to hit the golf ball. "Let me give you some advice for golf. To get the shortest distance between the ball and the hole," He held up his golf club towards the hole, about 400 yards away. "Just picture the sun as someone you really wanted to be raped, and hit the ball towards it. I'm going for James Woods."
He aimed his shot carefully, and shot the ball up into the air towards the sun. But, instead of going to the hole, it went past that and hit the windmill at the next hole, knocking it down and setting half the golf course on fire. The two watched in horror at what Peter just did.
"You saw nothing, heard nothing, know nothing!"
A little bit later, Peter and Dae, after having such a great time at Chuck E. Cheese and playing golf, decided to head home. Peter offered to drive him home since they were both wiped after an exhausting day out. They were about 16 blocks away from the house, and Peter & the Professor were having a blast catching up with each other.
"So, what happened after you finally finished college?" The Professor asked Peter, recaping on the old times they had.
"Well you remember that girl that belonged to that bastard Pewterschmidt?"
"Yeah."
"I finally got the guts to ask her to marry me. But her father didn't approve, so I was like 'screw him!' So we got a priest to wed us without him knowing about him until long before, we moved to Rhode Island, and here we are! 20 years later, I'm still married with three incredible kids. Well...er, two if you consider Meg to be a housedog."
"YOu know, you always were disappointed when you found out your first kid was a girl."
"Yep. I wanted all boys, and I even told Lois that's what I wanted. Hey, you know something? I think you met her once when she was three."
"Oh yeah. I remember it. You were still steamed that Meg turned out to be a girl, and so while I was talking to her, you punched my lights out and then smashed her guts with a mallet."
"Oh boy, do I remember that." They were now coming up on the city of Townsville, pulling up to the home of the Powerpuff Girls. "Well, we're here. Home sweet home."
"Yep. Home sweet home." The Professor replied with a depressing tone. He was still mourning over the loss of his girls, even though he still believed they were alive.
"Hey, what's the matter? You look glum."
"I am." The Professor opened the car door and stepped out, slamming the door in front of him. Peter did the same, and then went up to him.
"Well, spill it, pal."
"Well, it's just...my children went missing."
"What!? Oh my god!" Peter gasped quickly. "You had kids!?" This wasn't a completely moronic answer. The Professor was never really the datable kind of guy back in college, and even Peter's lessons in dating didn't help him at all. And, the last time they saw each other, Peter was the only one of the two that actually had a wife who was pregnant with a child. "Seriously, you had kids?"
"Yeah." The Professor shuffled through his pockets for a picture, and finally pulled out one from his back pocket. He handed it to Peter, who studied it carefully. The picture had the Professor, and his three girls floating right beside him, smiling at the camera, looking so care-free you couldn't even see that they were superheroes.
"Whoa, whoa, these are your kids?"
"Yes. Why?"
Peter quickly raced his mind for something to tell him. He had not expected to finally reunite with his old college buddy, and learn that the very kids that he had lost, were the same kids that fell into his yard, and taken in by the family.
But, he didn't really have to think, because after all this time, his brain finally put the devil & angel thing together, and made his angel conscious appear on his left shoulder.
"Hey, sorry man. Am I late? What'd I miss?"
"Oh thank god you're here, what do I do?"
Luckily for the angel, he had his own conscious of devil & angel too.
The Satan one was first up.
"Tell him to lie to this guy, too. He's in too deep! Besides, we can still kick the girls' fatasses to the curb when nobody ain't lookin'!"
"I don't know."
But, just like with the real Peter, the angel Peter's angel conscious did not show up either.
"Hey, where's the other guy?"
It turns out that this guy's angel conscious was also in a traffic jam, just like Peter's was the first time.
"Oh this is unbelievable!"
ANd meanwhile, down on Earth...
"Peter!"
The Professor snapped Peter out of his trance, who was still holding the picture of the girls.
"What!?"
"I asked if everything was OK. You were a little bit jumpy there."
"Oh yeah. Uh, it's just, it's just that your kids...they remind me of...of uh--George Lopez."
"George Lopez?"
"Yeah! Yeah, I mean, their heads! Even he didn't have heads as big as these girls do." Peter started sweating, finding it very hard to continue lying to his friend. "But anyway, I really hope you do find your kids, pal. No child deserves to be left on the streets...except for Dr. Phil's kids."
Meanwhile, back at the Griffins' home, everything seemed peaceful there. Meg, Chris, and Stewie were upstairs in their rooms, Lois was in the kitchen, starting dinner up, Brian had gone out for the day, and the girls were currently scattered all over the house. Blossom was relaxing in the spare room, on the bed, practically asleep, Buttercup was in the kitchen, near the trash can, just in case she threw up, and Bubbles was in the bathroom, already in the process of throwing up.
For the past couple of days, the girls have not been able to keep any food down. Anything they ate they just threw back up. Even beverages came up with it. They haven't had anything solid to eat for almost 3 days, and it really started to hurt them badly.
Bubbles had finally come out of the bathroom after 20 minutes of throwing up, and made her way upstairs to the spare room, and plopped herself on the bed next to Blossom. Buttercup soon joined them on the bed, just as wiped as her two sisters were. They each instantly crawled under the blankets and fell asleep for a long, peaceful nap.
But it was soon interrupted when Lois entered the room to bring the girls ice packs, soup, and some Gingerale. Unfortunately, the rucus of the glass bowls and the spoons rattling caused the girls to wake up and open their eyes to see what the rucus was.
"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, girls. I didn't mean to wake up." Lois studdered quickly, feeling guilty she woke them up.
"Ow, my head hurts. Could you not shout so loudly?" Blossom moaned, rubbing her head.
"I wasn't shouting."
"Well your voice is still ringing in my head. Oh, and I just came out of the bathroom."
"The bathroom?"
"I've been throwing up all day."
"Me too." Bubbles agreed.
"Me three."
"Throwing up?"
"Yeah. We haven't had anything solid to eat in two days."
"Oh my god! That's horrible!"
"Yeah...my tummy's spinning like crazy."
"Well I brought in three cups for you girls and a bottle of gingerale, so if you want, you can pour yourselves a drink."
Meanwhile, what she didn't know, was that Peter had just gotten in and he had entered the room.
"I'm downstairs if you need me, and Meg & Chris are just across the hall." Lois had finished giving the girls instructions provided they needed her. But when she turned around to walk out, she noticed Peter standing there, twidling his fingers. "Peter, you scared me! What's the matter?"
"Well, I-uh...we need to talk...in private. I'll meet you downstair with a beer.
Five minutes later, Lois and Peter were at the kitchen table, and Peter was ready to spill the beans on what he had just leanred about his college buddy and friend.
"So, Peter, what's the matter?" Lois asked him almost immediately.
"Well, uh, you see, it's a long story and it takes me back to yesterday."
"OK."
"You remember that nerd with the dumb lab coat and pocket protector that I hung out with in college when we were dating?"
"Yes. I think his name was David, right?"
"Yep. David Utonium. And guess what? I met him at the Clam last night."
"Really? Wow! That's great!"
"Yeah. So today we spent the whole day catching up, and I learned something about him."
Oh, Peter, you blabbermouth! At that exact moment, the three girls had come down from upstairs, because Lois forgot to give them spoons for their soup. So they decided to get it themselves. But, they stopped immediately when they heard Peter & Lois chatting.
"What?"
"Well, um, you remember those big headed girls we took in?"
"Yes."
Lois waited a moment for Peter to continue speaking, but Peter was waiting for Lois to put it together. It only took her a few seconds to do that, and she immediately gasped in shock.
"Oh my god! Those three poor, defenselesss girls are his!?"
The three girls, who were listening from the hallway, gasped as well, after they heard that he had finally found their dad. They smiled at each other and just wanted to jump into Peter's arms, now that their dad is in sight. But, they stopped once they heard them start going again.
"Yep."
"Peter, those girls are gonna be so happy when they find out their dad is going to find them soon! So, when is he coming over to pick them up and take them home?"
"Uh, I don't know. See, I didn't actually tell him I found his kids."
"What!? Why!?"
"Because, Lois, I'm trying to save those girls from further abuse. I mean, they fell out of the sky from 4,000 feet in the air, they haven't slept well in almost three months..."
"They also have super-natural abilities and protect an enitre city from certain doom on a daily basis. You don't know what happened, and I certainly don't know what happened."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But you know what, I don't think those girls are even his." He took out a photo that he had just recently taken of himself and the Professor, and handed it to Lois. "I mean, his head doesn't even match theirs. So, uh, how the hell can they be related? But, I always knew that guy was kinda weird."
Peter shrugged his shoulders and slouched in his chair in confusion. Lois patted his shoulder to comfort him.
"Look, Peter, we took in some stray girls on the brink of death, nursed them back to health, and gotten to know them closely. As hard as it is to accept, they're a part of this family as much as our kids are."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But, what if the girls don't wanna see him again? What if they had some sort of fight You know, just like Jesus and Joseph?"
"Look, why don't you sit down with them one night and talk to them about this. I'm sure they still love their father just as much as your children love you."
"Yeah, I bet you're right. OK, I'll talk to them tomorrow." Peter stood up, brought his beer to the trash can, tossed it in, and then made his way back upstairs. THe girls, who were listening in on the conversation, dashed upstairs too, back into the spare room before Peter spotted them. Then they each crawled back into the bed under the covers in case Peter came in.
They were now a bit excited since they heard that the Professor was asking for them all day, but at the same time, a little scared because they did have a little argument before they disappeared: about their all-night crime fighting.
"This is great!" Buttercup exclaimed with her weary voice. "Once the Professor comes to get us, we can get out of this dump!"
"Buttercup, this place isn't a dump!" Blossom retaliated to her sister, angrily looking at her. "This is a great home. It's got us a bed, blankets, food, warmth, and best of all, we can lay back knowing there won't be any explosions every 5 minutes."
"Oh yeah, definately."
"But once we go back to Townsville, won't that mean we have to go back to what we used to do?" Bubbles questioned them, very seriously. The girls suddenly took this to heart, not realizing what they would be going back to. "All-night crime fighting is what got us here in the first place. I still feel dizzy from that crash."
"You know, Bubbles, I never actually thought of that. I did get kind of sick of having to protect Townsville from meaningless stuff, like guys who liter, illegal parking, and having to help the citizens out with boring chores."
"Exactly! Do we really want to go back to that old life?"
Both BLossom and Buttercup thought about this for a moment. They recollected on the past adventures they had in Townsville, the past mishaps they got themselves into, the meaningless things they helped the town with, like changing light bulbs, helping some Jweish guy open doors, and tying kids' shoes. It soon brought up a lot of anger in them, and they felt like punching the wall out just to get it all out. But the fatigue of their current state of health got the better of them, and they were each forced to lay down to stop the pain.
They decidced to sleep on this new discovery and then have a talk with Peter the following day...provided he didn't spread rumors that the girls were lesbians who came from a Muslim/Jewish guy.
End of Chapter 8!
