The following day I felt optimistic once more, Miku was still alive, and for once she was within my reach, and not guarded by Kaito. So going against what I believed would be my Princess's wishes, I awoke incredibly early to gather supplies. I wouldn't be able to free Miku; however I would make things as painless as possible for her. I would be her companion within the lonely confined of the dank and eerie dungeons, as I myself knew how it felt to be alone, especially right now when Rin seemed so far away from me. So, I ventured to the kitchen stealing some food supplies to feed her with, I stole into the old kitchen, I found a basin which I filled with warm water. I also grabbed a sponge and a hairbrush before making my way down to the secluded cells of the dungeons. I rarely came down here as they, shall we say, 'creeped me out'. Though I would brave it for my love, Miku. After making a few trips up and down the perilous steps, I finally had all of my items with me, now all that was left to do was find my green princess. I slunk down the cold corridor, checking each frightening cell for her. Finally I spotted her green hair, and stopped before the cell. She slowly lifted her head up, tears in her eyes, worry etched upon her beautiful face. I lifted the hood from my face, a risk I was willing to take to help her, and her eyes widened with shock.
"Len?" She asked weakly. I smiled warmly down at her nodding; I fumbled with the lock on her cell, slipping in and placing the items I had brought with me on the floor, save for the food which I had placed in a sack. She was staring at me uncertainly, my intentions unclear to her as I knelt beside her, I held my hands up as if to surrender.
"I brought you some food..." I smiled weakly, passing her the sack. Tentatively she took it from me, her hands trembling, however as she peered inside and saw I really had brought her food she placed it down beside her before flinging her arms around my neck. I was taken aback, and for a moment thought she was attacking me, though I could understand if she had done this, I shut my eyes as if to shield myself, but realising she wasn't hurting me I slowly opened them to see she was hugging me. I blushed, she'd never shown me this much affection before. Timidly I placed my hands on her back, returning her hug, though unsure where was best to place my hands for fear of offending her. She stayed like this for a while, obviously needing the support. I didn't mind, it felt great. I breathed in shakily feeling my heart picking up the pace as usual. I felt as if I were about to melt from this sensation. I would've stayed that way forever if I could, however I remembered that time was not on my side, and reluctantly, I cleared my throat to catch her attention. I felt her arms slip away from me, and she moved away, blushing.
"So, may I ask what the tub of water is for?" She asked nervously tugging at her knotted hair. I smiled; glad she had brought it up. I produced a sponge from one of the bags, holding it up so she could clearly see what it was. She tilted her head slightly and smiled a little.
"Oh I see" She began nodding a little. "You want me to wash?" She laughed a little as I had said she was dirty. I shrugged absently, brushing my hair away from my eyes as if to get a better view of her, after all, she was beautiful.
"Well I thought it would help your wounds..." I blushed, it was a slight lie, part of me just wanted to touch her hair, her long green hair. Oh to be able to run my hands through it smell it. "Besides...your hair could use it as well" I grinned at her, she giggled in response, nodding in agreement. She gave me permission to clean her wounds, yet each time I went to clean one I'd as her permission yet again, as if I may startle her without at least telling her I was about to do it. I spent the whole experience with my face the color red, the problem being I liked her too much to feel comfortable touching her so much, and when I washed her hair! I swear my heart had never pounded so much before; I genuinely began to think it would somehow jump from my chest out of my mouth. She was so delicate, I wanted her to be mine so badly, but secretly knew I could never have her. Like her hair slipping easily through my fingers, I knew she was never to be mine, even if she did escape this nightmare she would run back to Kaito. She studied me carefully as I brushed her slowly drying hair.
"What's bothering you?" She asked gently laying her hand on mine. Her generosity touched me, however there was no way I could tell her how I really felt, so I lied and told her I was fine, making sure I faked a smile for the rest of the time I spent with her. It wasn't particularly difficult; I found I smiled a lot when I was with her, even if we were talking about something completely serious, her friendly nature and enchanting aura would make me smile against my will. Oh I had fallen hard for her, though I wouldn't admit that fully to myself.
Once I was finished brushing her now glossy hair, she thanked me gratefully for the food, and carefully pulled some fruit from the bag and began to eat ravenously, poor girl probably hadn't eaten in days. She blushed as she noticed I was watching her, apologising for her un-lady-like mannerisms. I smiled sympathetically at her, trying to understand what she must be feeling right now. She'd just lost her friends, her family, her home, even her freedom. I wished I could help her more. Selfishly my head screamed if only I'd become Prince instead of Rin being Princess...I was appalled by this sudden thought and simply ignored it, already feeling guilty for thinking it. If I were King she'd love me like she loves Kaito...however I didn't WANT to be king OR like Kaito, I loved serving my twin, and I hated the spoiled king, yet none of this helped me to save Miku.
"There's no need for you to apologise, I am the on whose should be apologising" I admitted not only to her, but to myself as well. I had only meant to apologise, however I ended up telling her the whole story of why she was here and why the green kingdom was now only a sweet memory. By the time I had finished she had slowly edged herself away from me, and was now huddled in a corner with tears spilling from her soft green eyes. She stared at me resentfully, this had been the whole reason I'd concealed my identity, the whole reason I hadn't told her all of this before. The whole reason I hadn't told Rin that Kaito had a lover. I felt as if someone had plunged a knife deep in to my heart as I approached her once more she edged away fearfully. It hurt to know the girl I loved now hated me, though I knew she had every right to. I approached her once more; I held my arms where she could see them, hoping to seem less threatening this way.
"Miku please-" I began hopefully.
"No! Please just...leave...leave..." She was crying again, I had hoped the truth would ease her suffering, though it seemed that my attempts to console her had done the opposite. I felt my heart breaking as my every movement seemed to startle her, so I bowed low to her as I might do to my Queen, and made my way to the door of her cell. I stopped, gripping the icy metal in my hand. I needed her to know something. I turned to look at her quivering shape in the corner, tears glistening in the corners of my own eyes now. I smiled reassuringly, more for myself than for her this time.
"I...I'm so sorry Miku, I know I've upset you, hell I've even helped to destroy you...but, even so, I'll still take care of you...even of you don't want me to...because...because...I love you..." I regretted saying this the moment it escaped from my lips, and in humiliation I fled from the dungeons. How could I have said that out loud? She would surely think I had taken care of her today to try and get something in return...wasn't that what most men did? I panted as I reached the top of the steep steps, I didn't want such things in return, all I wanted was to know she would be okay at the end of this terrible ordeal. I had unintentionally stayed with Miku too long, my fixation with her almost costing both of us our heads since Rin was, once again, in a fiery mood, the second I came into sight I was bombarded with questions.
"Where on EARTH have you been? Why did you leave me? You have work to do you know!" She practically screamed at me, I apologised as sincerely as I could without giving my whereabouts away before awaiting her commands. Irritated by a stray strand of her hair she pinned it back with the rest of her hair. I noticed she'd made a lot of effort with her appearance today. I wasn't sure what that meant for me, however I had an awful feeling it would involve me. I was right as she turned away from her mirror to scowl at me. Why was it she seemed constantly displeased with me lately?
"I need you to go and fetch Kaito" She sighed dreamily as she spoke his name. Oh I loathed the man, yet for Rin I would've ventured out to find the devil himself. So reluctantly I saddled up Josephine and made the tedious journey to the kingdom of blue. I didn't rush, in fact we ambled, I had no desire to see this man, and even less desire to take him back to my home. In fact I would be amazed if I could even get in to see him, why on Earth would he want a lowly servant such as myself in his castle? He hated me as it was, he knew better than Miku that I had feelings for her...Miku. I wondered what she would say next time I saw her, I felt myself blushing as I reflected on what I'd said. I shouldn't have told her, not about her kingdom, and certainly not about my feelings, they didn't help her, in fact they caused her more pain than good. I hung my head in shame. I never seemed to learn from my mistakes.
I should've prepared myself for the worst before I left, I had of course know I would need to pass the ruins of the Green Kingdom, despite this knowledge I had foolishly pretended that the kingdom still stood in all it's glory, and that I wouldn't pass a battlefield. My jaw dropped as we neared the battle torn ruins of the once glorious kingdom of Green. Josephine seemed to grow more discouraged with each step toward the abandoned wreck. She reared her head up, attempting to turn the other way, however I tugged tightly on the reins, forcing her to keep moving forward, and though we had been moving at a slow pace before, now we had almost come to a standstill as we drifted like ghosts through the now empty village. So many houses and shops that had only yesterday been standing, crowded with people were now demolished, burnt cinders being blow away by the cruel wind. Trees had been torn down, so we were careful to move around them. Carts were overturned, their contents scattered carelessly across the ground. The remnants of life before chaos ensued were a constant reminder of the massacre that had taken place in the village.
My heart sunk as I spotted a child's doll. I leant down to pick it up, its face had been shattered, one of its arms violently torn from the socket, nowhere to be seen, lost amongst the madness. I stroked the remaining hair it had left with my thumb, as if it were able to feel. As if rescuing this one doll would make up for my sins. I felt feverish as we travelled through the ghost town, as if I may faint at any moment. I could taste vomit, feeling it climbing up my throat as my weary eyes passed over a corpse. Almost laughable, I who had killed so many couldn't face a corpse now. A woman, the heavy curls of her hair still not enough to cover the disfigurement of a once beautiful face. The sunken eyes in her head seemed to move to stare at me, as if to accuse me. I had done this. The mutilated look of fear on her lifeless face as she stared hatefully at me. I was slowly driving myself into a sense of hysteria; shivers ran through my body, I wanted to look away from her, to never look back, to whip Josephine into fleeing this nightmare as fast as I could. However my eyes were fixated on this woman, as if driving myself into insanity would make up for my crimes against the innocent people who now lay dead upon the ground.
My breathing was erratic, I was laughing uneasily, quietly at first, nervous laughter, though it was gaining volume, and I could no longer control it. I laughed unnaturally, I was laughing so loudly I was screaming. Screaming at the top of my lungs as if someone were trying to wring my neck. Had anyone been there I imagine they would've fled as my hysteria grew more, a continuous scream of fear, of guilt of sympathy, of self hatred. Josephine was rearing up in terror, attempting to throw me from her back. Now my chest ached, it hurt to scream, I felt as if my lungs were bleeding, with exhaustion my screams began to lessen. They didn't deteriorate completely, instead they turned to sobs, and as I managed to gain control over my limbs again I forced Josephine to run, gallop away far away, I never wanted to come back. I sobbed madly as she ran; perhaps she thought she could escape me if she leapt away from this terrible place, almost as if she sensed the death surrounding us.
By the time we had reached the blue kingdom I was enervated, both mentally and physically. My breathing would cause me to jolt every now and then from the crying. I could taste my tears, which had finally ceased to flow, I was a mess, I had been for a while now, not just today but everyday since I had first killed a man. It had affected me more than I had known, and it was only now I realised it. Still even as tears dried on my face I moved ever closer to the Kaito's castle, knowing whatever happened there would not measure up to my fit of hysteria earlier on, or so I believed. I must've looked like I was dying as the guards took pity on me as I requested to see the prince, after only a few simple questions I was granted access to the prince. I left Josephine in safe hands and traipsed wearily to see him. His throne room was around the same size as Rin's I guessed, though the blue and white interior made it look twice the size, making me feel as if I were entering a vast labyrinth. There were guards everywhere unlike in Rin's throne room, she didn't like to be...smothered, as she had put it, and I felt uncomfortable as all eyes were on me.
Kaito himself didn't seem to be paying much attention to me, and it was only as I neared him that he took notice of me, a look of disgust plastered across his handsome face, he sickened me just as much as I evidently sickened him. He leered down at me, his body was tense with anger, and he seethed now as I stopped, reluctantly bowing low before him, oh how lucky for me that he couldn't see the look of pure repulsion on my face. He swiftly ordered me to stand, and just as swiftly demanded that all of the guards leave the room. I was sweating a little, as much as I disliked being watched a sense of unease came over me as the men left, I could only guess why he had sent his defence away. I suddenly wished I had brought my sword. The doors were shut tightly, and the loud bang from the impact of the doors closing reverberated through the large room, suddenly making me feel alone.
With unimaginable speed I was seized and lifted from my feet. My hands instinctively went to my sword holster, only to remember that it was empty. I desperately groped for my neck, flailing hopelessly as I did so. His wide hands wrapped mercilessly around my scrawny neck, his grip tightened as I fought against him, kicking and scratching at his hands with my nails. I felt him press harder against my windpipe, making a strangled gasp of sheer pain slip from my lips. Now I remembered, I was only a boy, he was a man. I could feel my breath being choked out of me, I wondered if I was going to die, and as my distress heightened I was humiliated to feel tears coming to my eyes once more. I wanted to free myself but I didn't have the strength to do it, and I began to lose strength in my arms, and I felt my grip on his hands loosening, I shut my eyes, willing myself to hold on but feeling useless now.
Relief as I was thrown to the floor, I wheezed, allowing my lungs to fill with air once more, gasping. I felt light headed. My head span as I stared up at the towering figure above me. His broad shoulders reminded me of a mountain, how was I supposed to fight this man? I whimpered childishly as he reached for me, violently pulling me to my feet, though holding the collar of my shirt in a tight grasp. Even when I stood, attempting to puff my chest out and seem threatening he towered over me. Disheartened he stared me down, gripping my arm, his own hand like a vice. Involuntarily a small squeak of pain came from me, signalling to him that he had me right where he wanted me.
"Where is she?" He spat through gritted teeth, blinking+ uncertainly for a few moments not registering what he meant, but as I figured out he meant Miku I also realised that I could use this to my advantage. If he were to get hold of Miku I wouldn't stand a chance, I knew that for certain now as he used his muscles to restrain any outburst from me, I admitted to myself I was jealous, his height his looks his strength, not to mention his power. I had nothing over him, so I knew the only way to win Miku's heart was to lie. I averted my eyes to the floor, feigning mourning before speaking.
"She's dead" I whispered softly as if saying it any louder would jinx her life. He growled at me, throwing me to the floor again. I gasped in pain as my shoulder hit the tiles. I pushed myself in to a sitting position quickly, though not quickly enough to avoid his foot coming down on my shoulder. I opened my mouth to scream but was too shocked to do so. It didn't hurt as I expected it to; he was simply keeping me in place. He removed his foot and instead knelt down to my level, leaning his knee against my stomach, making me grimace in pain. He pierced me with his startling blue eyes filled with rage.
"I KNOW that isn't true, I know what you feel for her, it is BLATANTLY obvious you have feelings for her" He spat viciously down at me, his face so close now I could feel his breath against my cheek. "You would not have let her die, where is she?" He snarled at me. I hated being so close to him, truthfully I was terrified.
"No, really, everyone in the green kingdom was killed" I lied, unable to stare him in the eye and say it. He pulled me up once more, pushing me against a wall. I was sure I could see tears in his eyes, but he was choking me again and I couldn't focus my eyes properly with the overwhelming pain. I opened my eyes gritting my teeth and staring at him. I twitched with fear as his fist collided with the wall inches away from my face. I was trembling, I was certain he was going to hit me now. Instead he seemed to be crying tears of frustration, and all too suddenly I felt sympathy for him. He really did love her. I desperately wanted to tell him Miku was alive, however I couldn't do it. He was letting his grip falter, taking advantage of this I removed his hand from throat, falling to the floor again, rubbing at my bruised neck.
He turned away from me know, seemingly a broken man. He hung his head, knowing full well I could attack him while his back was turned. In a flat voice he asked
"So why are you here?" running a hand through his blue hair. My knees trembled violently as I forced myself to stand; I would not allow this man see my fear or my weakness. I absently tightened my ponytail, anything to distract myself.
"Rin...Rin wants you to visit her" I found my voice was husky from the lack of air. I cleared my throat and awaited his response. He turned to look at me; disgust adorned his face once more.
"As if I would want to see her after what she did to the green kingdom!" spat resentfully. I shook my head, knowing all along that this journey would be a waste of time. So I bowed once more before going to leave. Though as I did he spoke.
"Oh one last thing" He began; I politely turned to face him anxiously. "If you ever show your face in my kingdom again, I will have you killed. The same goes for your sister" He said coldly, not even flinching at this threat. I nodded understandingly and practically sprinted back to Josephine. The journey home wasn't half as painful, though we flew from the blue kingdom at an alarming speed, the same could be said for our journey through the green kingdom. As we returned I could see Rin's silhouette through one of the curtains. She would be furious when she discovered that Kaito wasn't with me. Miserably I entered the caste to a solemn looking Rin. I bowed low, hoping this would somehow make up for my failure.
"Where is he?" She cut straight to the chase. I bowed my head shamefully before explaining.
"He wouldn't come, he's furious with us about the green kingdom, and about Miku. He said if we set foot in his kingdom again he'll have us killed" I finished bluntly, awaiting an outburst from my twin. However she was oddly silent, she simply nodded and said
"I see" in a monotonous tone. I began to relax a little, thinking maybe she was over him. "You didn't tell him she was alive did you?" She questioned coldly. I smiled; pleased I'd done something to make her happy.
"Of course not, I told him she was dead" I smiled at her, hoping this would melt her icy mood. Oh she did smile, but not in the way I had hoped, she smiled her cruel smile that made me feel uneasy. I felt myself stroking my neck, wondering if she'd noticed the red lines running across it, signalling to her that my trip hadn't been an easy one. I was caught completely off guard by her next question.
"She's your lover isn't she?" She smirked nastily, a taunting look upon her face. As I said, I was caught completely off guard. My mouth gaped open; I blushed unable to form a suitable answer.
"W...what? No...n...no..." I stuttered, I knew myself this wasn't convincing, but I couldn't understand how she'd figured it out. I managed to force my gaping mouth shut, and hoped she wouldn't notice as I shifted nervously from foot to foot.
"You think I didn't notice the way you reacted to her being locked away? Or the things you took down for her this morning, the reason you were awake so early, and also the reason you were late?" She asked in a tone that implied I thought she was an idiot. I wasn't sure how to react, whether to lie or whether to tell the truth.
"Why did you not tell me?" She questioned, clearly offended by my lack of honesty. I bowed my head, feeling ashamed once more, then realised I had a simple answer to that.
"I knew it wouldn't make a difference" I whispered, it had been barely audible, though she reacted as if I'd shouted in her face. She slapped me. Hard. I was stunned, raising a shaking hang to my stinging cheek; I looked up at her hurt by this. She had never hurt me before. She scowled at me, shaking her head as if she were disappointed. A felt a mixture of anger and hurt, how could she slap me? The only person who had been loyal to her for so long.
"No you are right, it does not make a difference, because clearly Kaito and you care more for her than you care for me" She retorted, her voice shaking with anger. This was a fact I was eager to deny, though I cared for Miku I loved Rin more than anything else. I began to contradict her however she raised a hand to silence me and cut in.
"Clearly the only way for me to keep you Len and to win Kaito...is to dispose of her" She spoke as if she had just come up with a brilliant idea. The words I'd dreaded hearing for so long, a nightmare coming true. I shook my head in disbelief, my jaw had dropped again. I backed away from her suddenly frightened of the malevolent person she had become. I felt trapped, the place that had once been my home now seemed like a prison of lies and death, I couldn't escape, it felt as if the walls were rapidly drawing closer to me. What could I do? I knew what Rin had planned yet I disagreed with it, I wanted to run away from her, to regain my innocence once more, but what could I do? I was her twin; fate bound us together in a way that cannot be easily explained. An invisible thread held us together, and whenever we were apart for too long I felt as if I were slowly deteriorating, like I'd die if the invisible strand were cut. It would pull me back, almost as if to save my life.
"I want you-" She began, however I interrupted her, holding my arms before me like a shield, turning my head to face away from her. I grimaced at the thought of her plan. I wouldn't do it.
I knew I should set myself up for the fall of a lifetime, to lose the one I loved, but I couldn't bear to think of it.
"No please, I can't" My voice came out as a whimper. I flinched as she approached me, expecting another blow to my face. I shut my eyes tight, willing myself away from this castle filled with misery. Instead I felt her delicate hands upon my arms, gently forcing them away from their defensive position. She laced her slender fingers between my own, lulling me into a sense of security. I saw a look of sincerity upon her pallid face, my old Rin that was my old Rin. I stared at her uncertain of her intentions now. She released one of her hands from mine, gracefully lifting her hand to my face, and caressing the spot where she'd struck me. I didn't know what to say to her, her sudden change of mood had completely thrown me. I recoiled as she moved closer to me; softly she kissed my cheek, staring up at me with apprehension. Times like this I secretly wondered to myself if we had a healthy brother sister relationship.
"Rin..." I trailed off, still unable to think of a suitable response, so instead I looked down at my feet, waiting for her to speak instead. She drew herself closer to me, making me deeply uneasy. She embraced me lovingly, I knew what she was trying to do, she was trying to delude me into trusting her again. To my dismay I felt my cold heart melting as she whispered to me that she loved me and trusted me. I wrapped my arms around her, feeling my love and respect for her returning. I hated myself, I was pathetic, falling into a trap I knew had been cleverly set for me, why did I let myself be drawn in by her? Like a moth to a flame I was drawn, even though I knew the outcome would leave me in tatters, she built up my ego, making me feel sorry for her as she always did.
"Please Len I need you, you...you are the only person I have left. You are the only person I truly trust" She stared deep into my eyes wearing down the invisible wall I had placed between the two of us, her distressed expression cracked my defences, and foolishly I smiled at her, brushing her hair away from her face as a gesture of love.
"You promise to do anything for me" She whispered earnestly. Absurdly I nodded, releasing myself from her grip and kneeling respectfully before her. I was filled with determination; I desperately wanted to make her happy again. She smiled charmingly down at me, batting her soft eyelashes at me. Oh she was pretty, my twin.
"Good, now, for me and only me, I want you finish her" She ordered me, the words that would break me. I nodded gravely, I would not question her now, I would just do it because I knew that this was the best option not only for Rin, but for Miku as well.
