A/N: What the hell? I'll make it T again. I can get more views that way! Let's see what I can get away with. Oh by the way if you want your OC to have a better chance of living well... LEAVE A FUCKING COMMENT! Come on people! Oh and guys, remember, these are your OCs not you. If I do something with your OC that makes you feel awkward or something, you need to be sent too the moon. Don't take this fic seriously.

Oh, and hollow victory 100 REVIEWS! BLARGHFLAGOBBLE- no most of those are just submissions anyway, I'm off to go cry in a corner. Enjoy!


"The opposite of love is not hate; its indifference."

—Elie Wiesel


Love and Alcohol

Doll Face

Time: 10:37 PM

Location: Ponyville, Joke Shop

Doll Face roamed aimlessly about the dungeon. Mister Moneybags had not yet arrived at the usual place yet, which wasn't normal. He had always been a stickler about coming in early—perhaps he needed to practice what he preached. Everypony else had amassed in the dimly lit room already, all broadcasting rumors and lies to each other. Doll's pacing was interrupted by the telephone.

The purple filly picked up the transmitter with haste. "Hello," She chirped.

"Mmmmm, is this Doll Face?" The other voice asked, the pony's voice was unrecognizable, sounded like a Canterlot accent.

"Who's this?" Moneybags' associate switched her tone.

"I say," He audibly drew a breath. "An earth pony stumbled into our refined diner and drank all of our alcohol. When we informed the bohemian that we were out of drinks, he held us all at gunpoint. The… gentleman… suggested calling you—I believe he wants you to bring him more beverages from your location. Oh sweet Celestia, he's holding a knife up to my throat right now…uh-huh…he says hi. Would you be ever so kind as to bring our guest some drinks?"

"Sure, seeya late—"

"NO WAIT! Please, this is a four-star restaurant. Why, we had five before but these yahoos with crossbows destroyed everything, but that's beside the point. Would you have the common courtesy to appear comely? My… patron… has benevolently made this stick-up discreet. I won't assume you dress the same as him, but can you arrive in a respectable manner?"

Doll Face brushed her short mane back a little. "Whatever."

"Oh thank you miss, you have no idea how much we apprecia—"

He was cut off by Doll's hanging up.

In embarrassment, the filly trotted on top of the table. She flicked her tail like a hungry parasprite. These misfits are as ugly as a mule, there's no way they could ever be classy. "No offense." She said too a random mule standing by the door.

"None taken," he replied slowly.

"Everypony," She groaned reluctantly. "Mister Moneybags needs some assistance. You all need to look attractive. Don't ask any questions, just do it! Oh, and bring a date if you can."

Everypony abandoned their worries instantaneously, bringing their gaze upon the silver-maned mare in the vestibule.

"Stargazer," All of the colts bellowed before scrambling to the addressed unicorn.

"Hold up boys," She sighed teasingly. "I think I'm his responsibility." She chuckled as she pointed her hoof at Arkane.

"Kill me." The dubious pony blubbered. Arkane lost his right foreleg to his secret admirer.

Doll Face knew it was only a matter of time before she'd break him. Nopony could be in contact with a girl like that for such an amount of time and not fall for her. Doll was aware of Stargazer's special power—manipulation—but knew she'd never stoop to using that on Arkane. She was determined to win over the stallion fair and square. I.e. charm, looks, and personality. What the hay? Even Doll Face found her attractive… and she was a girl!

Putting off her inner lesbian, Doll Face observed as the multi-colored fighter of the herd hiked over too Sol—by far the dumbest lieutenant in the history of organized crime. The second in command wasn't so sure about this relationship. They only had so much in common, and most of the time their talks ended with Sol having his nuts demolished…

Wonder Splash closed in on Sol. "Hey guy." She giggled sweetly.

But Sol knew better, "What do you want from me?" He asked hesitantly.

"Well, I kind of feel guilty about annihilating your testicles…I think I owe you something." she scratched the back of her neck.

Both pegasi blushed. "You could've just said you were sorry. Not that I don't want to go with you but ugh…"

She snickered, "You're an idiot. Haha, it's not a real date!"

"A guy can dream can't he?" Sol sniveled.

Night Shade hadn't even gotten looked at yet. Not that she was not of the age, she was twenty, and it wasn't her looks, she was hot. But that attitude was just too big a turn-off. She shouldn't have cared anyway, but she was appalled that nopony even tried talking to her.

"Come on guys," Night Shade snarled. "None of you want some of this." She struck a pose.

Lunar Blaze's pupils shrunk—frantically darting from side to side. "I would but, uh… I think Parallel wanted to ask you."

Parallel Circuit started hyperventilating. "I was going too but uh… Quantum said he liked you more than me."

The appleloosan quivered his lip. "I um… I can't because uh… I'M GAY!"

"… No you're not," Night Shade retorted.

"It's true, I'm gay with uh… with Iris!" He desperately brought the joker into the conversation.

"I ain't no queer." He said darkly.

"OH WHATEVER!" Night Shade walked away fumingly.

"Yo…" Wonder Bread uttered from a dark corner close to the door. "I'll help you out I guess." He was still half asleep.

"Tch, guess you're better than nothing… so it's a date?" She asked with a hint of excitement at the last word.

"Whatever," Wonder Bread nonchalantly departed from the spot. In spite of herself, Night Shade squealed in pleasure. She subsequently skipped back to her comrades.

Iris attempted inviting Antares on the mission. After pulling multiple insults and side comments in his request, Antares refused.

"I'm sorry hon…" The samurai glanced at the black unicorn with a spiky blue mane. "I don't date jackasses. Cryo's looking good though."

"Are you friggin' foaling me? Cryo is a psycho! And he's way younger than you!" With that, the psychotic pony that was the topic of the conversation cut in on them.

"He is, isn't he… it's kind of hot." She brushed the cryo-kinetic gangster's flank flirtatiously.

Cryo reacted by augmenting his grin "Haha, I'm getting excited already." Somehow, he managed to get away with rubbing his hoof on the older mare's private area—eliciting a moan of pleasure from the orange-maned pony. Perhaps love was really just two ponies being stupid together.

Everypony spent the half of the night eradicating their scruffy appearances. All of the men wore tailored suits from the local boutique. Arkane had most of his mane swished to the right, with one antenna of hair going against the flow and hanging over his left eye. Sol had his long, messy hair undergo a complete transformation. The plain white pegasus's mane was gelled into a magnanimous, jagged afro—a burst of red, yellow, and orange. Wonder Bread had two bangs reaching down each side of his face, the rest of his mane complemented the blue streak swimming behind his neck. Cryo's wild-fire like mane was shaped into separate spikes, each with a blue tip at the end. His black shades served as his usual masquerade. Quantum, Jackal, Iris, and Lunar Blaze chose the gay way. The cowpony substituted his Stetson for a black bowler. Jackal's mane was closely shaven to his orange pelt, almost as if grass was growing out of him. Iris partnered with Quantum—he had the same apparel as his appleloosan counterpart. As for Lunar Blaze, he sported a white tuxedo with black stripes as opposed to everypony else's black with white.

Oh the ladies… gorgeous. Night Shade had experienced a total metamorphosis. Her unruly black mane was cut into a neat shoulder length hairstyle with bangs. A killer indigo night dress clung to her slender body.

"Where is he?" She asked expectantly.

Wonder Bread half-heartedly trotted out from the darkness. Drowsy as ever, he outstretched his fore leg.

"EEEE! You look so good! I mean uh—try not to compromise the operation when we get there, idiot." She walked past her date with a wink.

Stargazer emerged from the boutique with a long, swirly mane. She wore a quaint pink skirt and saddle resting on her back—explicitly propagating her curvy flanks.

"Alright, come on let's see him." She aired.

Doll Face coaxed Arkane into the candlelight. He blushed.

So did she.

"You… you look gr—USOME!"

"WHAT?"

They argued like that all the way to the restaurant.

Antares and Cryo looked like they were about to get it on right then and there. The mare had a white kimono, reflecting her heritage. She maintained her ravishing orange mane. Cryo kissed her cheeks non-stop, and she did not resist at all. It was kind of sick… in the bad way. Sometimes, Cryo would get a little ahead of himself. But he would quickly be put in his place by Antares' biting back. They were remotely hungry, and not for the food.

Now, for the exact opposite of that relationship, the herd had Sol and Splash.

Splash adorned herself with a frolic red skirt and saddle. The boutique owner made her mane long and straight, a bit wavy, like a rainbow. Sol on the other hoof…

"Whaja… buffa… yousa…"

"Same to you," And with that, they were off.

Except for Doll Face and her date, everypony erupted into a simultaneous "Dawww!" when they saw the filly with the rugged Dante. Who by the way, looked like no other, along with Doll Face he dressed himself in a green hoodie. Doll Face did not want to be seen in the joint, and couldn't comprehend why they'd be looked at more for not being in regular clothing.


Iridescent Monochrome

Time: 12:01 AM

Location: Ponyville Café

"And you're all gay, is that right?" A pale pony with a small moustache questioned the league of Quantum, Iris, Jackal, and Blaze

It hit Iris like a bolt of lightning. "You got a problem with homosexuals! I'LL FEED YOU YOUR HEART!" He was quickly restrained by his fellow mobsters.

"Don't oversell it!" Lunar Blaze whispered heatedly.

They invaded the establishment without a hitch. However, Iris did not think that their performance was convincing enough. He sprinted back to the stallion at the front counter and pounded his hoof across the innocent pony's face.

"Unhoof me you heathen! Do you know who I am?" The panic stricken stallion said.

"Maybe I don't give a shit! Maybe I don't remember the last time I blew my nose! I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD BOOGER!" Iris was rightfully knocked unconscious, courtesy of Jackal.

The herd had not yet identified the caller and couldn't find the drunken Moneybags anywhere. Doll guessed that they were either in some kind of storage cell, or the freezer room. Mister Moneybags couldn't spend all night in either, so she decided to wait him out. But that was no easy task, as Arkane and Stargazer were stirring up something bad from another table. Celestia knows how their arguments and grievances with each other could get to this point.

Stargazer was leaning over the table, raising her voice to an unnecessarily high level. "You are emotionally bucking crippled. Your soul is dog shit. Man, every single bucking thing about you is ugly!" She jived.

Arkane also brought his muzzle closer to Stargazer's. "You're a cunt, you're a cunt Stargazer. You've always been a cunt. And the only that's gonna change, is that you're gonna become an even bigger cunt… maybe have some cunt kids." He ribbed.

"You stupid, ignorant, son of a bitch, dumb bastard—Celestia knows I've met some dumb bastards in my time but you outdo them all!"

"Even if I were blind, desperate, starved, and begging for it on a desert island—you'd still be the last thing I'd fuck!"

"You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor… and you smell!"

Hay was going to break loose.

"DO YOU WANNA KISS ME AS MUCH AS I WANNA KISS YOU RIGHT NOW?"

"OH DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK?"

And before anypony even realized what was happening, Arkane dived into his nemesis. They locked lips and emitted loud noises from the toppled over seat. Both rolled over multiple times, as if competing for dominance.

Arkane broke away for a millisecond "You kiss like a frog!" he accused his partner.

"I hate you so much!" Stargazer said before sticking her tongue back into Arkane's mouth.

Somehow, they got to fling themselves under the table they were sitting at. What happened under that table was, and always will be, a mystery. Most of the customers left after that affair, save ten.


Antares

Cryo had been acting astonishingly well. His mad smile had reverted into slight beaming. Antares had actually held a valid conversation with him for a long time. Even so, the ice savvy unicorn was still a little nutty. Antares sometimes saw his lips moving rapidly, but no sound came. It looked as if he was saying "alright," which wouldn't surprise Antares in the least.

Sol suddenly pulled her away from her date and trotted outside with her.

"Can I talk with you about something? I need an adult." Sol confessed.

"I am an adult. Shoot honey." Antares didn't mind giving the youngling some advice. As long as it wasn't anything he might get himself stabbed for.

"Those two… I'm very confused. I thought they hated each other's guts."

"They do. But they love each other just as much."

"I don't understand."

Antares was going to ask why he cared, but figured puppy love was the culprit. Vanity now, but perhaps the colt had to learn this by taking the hard road. Antares took a deep breath.

"Love takes many forms. There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving." She told the pup.

"But… what are my chances? I like Splash a lot, yet I'm only one pegasus. There are tons better."

"To the world you may be one pony, but to one pony you may mean the world."

"Do you just pull these quips out of your ass?"

"Hey kid, love is the meaning of life. Love, in all its fragile forms, is the one powerful, enduring force that brings real meaning to our everyday lives...but the love I mean is the fire that burns inside us all, the inner warmth that prevents our soul from the coldness of despair. The kind you get in this line of work."

"That's the biggest load of bullshit I ever heard."

"Yeah, I'm just bucking with you. Go hang out with her for a while kid, take your time, it's no big deal if you get rejected."

"Thank you." Sol charged back too Wonder Splash like a bull on fire. He plopped down on his seat and stuffed his hay burger in his mouth. "Can we start over?" he asked with his mouth open.

Wonder Splash laughed. "I'd like that."


Doll Face

At least everypony was enjoying the job. Wonder Bread may have dozed off a couple times but the prick of a fork would painfully wake him up again. Lunar Blaze was probably having the most fun… well, besides the two ponies having sex under the table. All night he attempted to make Jackal laugh—futile—but that didn't hinder him.

"Hey assholes," Mister Moneybags flung himself out of a nearby storage closet. "Where's my beer?" He belched. Behind him the corpse of the caller fell out of the hiding spot.

Dante touched Doll with his fork. "Should I take care of him?"

"Honestly Dante, that's a bad idea. If Jackal is a tank, then boss is like an entire bucking army when he's drunk. Plus, it looks like we'll be having some outside help."

A grey unicorn stallion with a black mane pumped his fore legs while brandishing a bottle of whiskey in his teeth. "I'm gonna shove this beer bottle so far up your ass, I'll make a Popsicle. Damn ponies, I've had enough of this shit! Act like ya got some god damn sense!"

"Who're you ass-wipe?"

"Seal Soul, I'm a blacksmith."

"You better sit your five dollar ass down before I make change." The godfather threatened with another burp. "Or at least grab a friend like… the chink over there, what's ya name?"

A light blue pegasus bolstering an aqua and teal mane-cut was called out. "Nani? B… bokuwa—Bodhi—desu." He stuttered.

"Yeah, konnichiwa too you too, Yo the rusty red patron, ya look like a fighter."

The addressed unicorn was covered in heavy metal. "Iron Skull, somepony needs to teach you some manners, fuck-face!"

"That's a good one, I'll have to remember that when I'm getting off your mom. Mahogany, how about you, ya look pissed off?"

A mahogany pony adorned with a fedora straightened indignantly. "You crazy buck you, ya momma sucks big buckin', giant buckin' elephant dicks, you scum of the earth you, you crazy mother-bucker you. You son of a motherless goat, you shit-kicking horse whore bucker you, you dirt eating piece of slime, you scum sucking pig you!"

"… Moving on, identify yourself nerd?" Moneybags pointed at a navy blue doctor with crazy snow hair.

"Cackle, ich bin pleasure sir, HEIL ME! Sorry, ich bin have no idea where zat came from." Cackle finished with a twitch.

"Right, anyway… how about you cutie?" Moneybags asked with another burp.

A tall mare, almost his age, with light blue curly hair piled on top. "Hello, I'm not one for violence. Could you please move somewhere other than here if you'd please?"

"How about… instead of using that mouth too tell me what to do. You do something useful with it." Moneybags stated as he grabbed his crotch with a hoof.

She twitched. "Yeah, you're going down."

"How about me?" A vermillion winged mare screeched. "I'll be more than happy to whoop your ass. Name's Arc Flash!"

"Y'know what,"

"Hey I love a brawl!" professed a white unicorn with yin-yang spikey hair.

"I could lend a hoof," Came from a mud-brown coated pony with a salt and pepper mane.

"ENOUGH! You guys wanna throw down! LET'S THROW DOWN! No more introductions! You want me? COME AND GET ME!"

Moneybags broke into a helicopter kick as Seal Soul galloped in front of him. Keeping him at bay, Moneybags quickly performed a hoof-stand, kicking ferociously with his hind legs. Bhodi blocked each kick with a flurry of fore hooves while keeping balance on his hind legs. Moneybags' response was incomprehensible, he put Bhodi in a headlock with his hind legs before letting go of the ground and hitting him with both of his other legs.

"Come on chink! Show me what ya got!"

Bhodi fell forward on top of the boss before breaking free and adopting a praying mantis stance, shuffling his feet smoothly over the wooden floor. It was only a distraction for an ally.

"Take this!" Iron skull ambushed the Mafioso from behind, demonstrating a heavy punch. Moneybags dodged and used the unicorn's own weight to topple him.

The yin-yang unicorn, the pepper-maned pony, and Arc Flash took him on all at once. Many somersaults, backflips, and hoof-stands kept them from doing any real damage.

"Ya have to all work together if you wanna… what's that?" Sirens were sounding off nearby.

Moneybags gathered himself. "Listen either we all go to jail, or you all join us. Which is it?"


Stargazer

Time: 5:00 AM

The couple slid out from underneath the table. Their clothing torn and gasping for air—confusion took hold when they realized everypony was gone. Not a single pony still in the restaurant.

"They left us." Stargazer whined.

"I'd leave us too." Arkane replied.

They made their way for the front door.

"Hey Stargazer," Arkane kicked his hind leg. "Let's never speak of this again."

"Speak of what again?" She chuckled.

The door was locked. The café had shut down and the joint wasn't going to open up for a while. They were trapped.

"Well we're not going anywhere…" Stargazer turned to her friend with benefits. "What are we gonna do now?"

"Wanna have sex under the table again?"

"Tch… why not?"


Next time: Who is A.? And more importantly, who's the traitor?

Next chapter's gonna have a lot of deaths, and more OC's, but a lot of deaths. It's going to be biblical.

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