Surprise, I forgot to update yesterday! Harry and Dumbledore are closing in... thank you all for your wonderful reviews!


Malfoy Manor

"Hellooo? Can you hear me? I know you're listening, Lukey-Pookey. I said, how long until we bust out of this place?" Lord Bob Ramon Olbeck taps his foot impatiently.

"What makes you believe we are trapped here, my Lord?" Lucius asks, rolling his eyes. He's on baby-sitting duty this afternoon- er, Dark Lord-sitting.

"We haven't left. All the doors and windows are shut and locked." Lord Bro counts on his fingers as he names each reason. "Everyone else is leaving but you and Cissy-poo. And me. So we're trapped here."

"This is my house," Lucius says, rolling his eyes yet again.

"Yeah, okay," Lord Bob Ramon says, obviously unsatisfied. "Sure. How do you even have this big of a house, anyways?"

"It's been in the family for a long time," Lucius says. "We're a very important pureblooded family, my Lord."

"Purebloods," Lord Bob Ramon says. "Why is being pureblood important?"

"Purebloods are wizards that have not been inflicted by the disgusting blood of muggles, my Lord," Lucius says. "Even you should-"

"I know what a pureblood is," Lord Bro says. "But I'm not even pureblood, so why is it important?"

Lucius looks at Lord Bro sharply.

Lord Bro stares back.

"Look at my skin!" Lord Bro says. "And my eyes! And I have no nose, for God's sake! How could I be pureblood with this obvious bodily defectiveness?"

Lucius sighs. "You're half-immortal, my Lord, of course you're going to have to make sacrifices if you want to rule the world."

Lord Bro huffs. "Bellatrix showed me a memory of when I was younger," he pouts, looking like a small child. Lucius notes that Bellatrix has been the only one not to receive a nickname from the increasingly more childlike Lord Bro, and the rest of the Death Eaters are placing bets on whether he's going to start calling her Bella or Trixie.

"How does Trixie even have access to memories of you when you were younger?" Lucius asks, putting a bit of emphasis on 'Trixie.' He has quite a heavy wager on it- not that the money really matters, but he thinks it would be most amusing to see Bellatrix put down a bit- she can't hex the Dark Lord for giving her nicknames.

Lord Bro shrugs. "But if I looked like that," he adds. "I would have already taken over the world. Look at the muggle media- there are beautiful people ruling their world!"
"The… muggle Prime Minister?" Lucius asks, growing more and more confused. "Who showed you the muggle media?"

"Not the Primary Miser," Lord Bro says. "The celebrities! Hasselhoffman, Davey Beckchicken! Infinite models!"

"Super models?" Lucius asks. Lord Bro nods. "David… Hasselhoff? David Beckham?"

Lord Bro nods again.

"Maybe I should change my name to David," he says, pondering.

"No!" Lucius says. "No, that won't be necessary, my Lord. Who was it that showed you the muggle media? How do you even know these people?"

"Oh, I think it was as a joke, they were trying to convince me I was David Beckturkey's long-lost brother," Lord Bob Ramon says. "The monkey man and his giraffe sister."

"Amycus and Alecto Carrow?" Lucius asks, raising an eyebrow.

Lord Bob Ramon nods vigorously.

Lucius sighs. He should never have let them Dark Lord-sit after the first time. He gets up with the intent to track them down- Lord Bro will be fine on his own for a little while.

As he leaves, Lord Bob Ramon calls after him, "I still don't get what the big deal about being pureblooded is!"


Ministry of Magic

"We've searched through several homes of known Death Eaters," the Ministry official says to a mild-looking Dumbledore and a slightly-confused Harry. "Apart from several Dark artifacts, we've found no trace of their residents, nor of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"That's quite alright," Dumbledore says. "Have you searched Malfoy Manor yet?"

The official looks startled. "N-no, sir," he says. "The Malfoy family are very respected, yes, donated quite a bit… we'd never dream-"

"With all due respect, sir, Lucius Malfoy is also a Death Eater," Harry interrupts, who's beginning to get a bit tired of the Malfoys being backed up by the Ministry. He'd also quite like to wipe the smirk off of Draco's face. "And you have myself, five of my school-friends, and probably about seven other members of the Order who would testify against them."

The Ministry official blanches.

"Yes, yes, very well, then," he says. "I'll have to speak to the Minister…"

Dumbledore smiles. "I'm sure it won't be a problem," he says, a familiar twinkle in his eyes. "Harry, would you care to join us?"

Harry, who would quite like to just go back to Hogwarts, but who would also quite like to give the Minister a piece of his mind, nods.