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Chapter author: transitory07
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Chapter 8
I'm misused, I don't wanna do,
Be not your slave.
Misguided, I mind it,
I'm missing the train.
"Miss Nothing" - The Pretty Reckless
Raindrops glistened in Edward's hair like tiny glass beads, darkening it to a burnt auburn under the porch light. Even half covered with a blue bath towel, he was flawlessly beautiful like a painting with his bright caramel irises and marble skin. My eyes roamed over his features, then fell to my hands resting on my knees as I tried to regain my focus. Edward's looks were very distracting, to say the least. Especially his lips...
"Someone who hurt you?" he prompted.
The rain started falling more heavily and I shifted closer on the swing to hear his muffled voice. Edward didn't move an inch. I kept my gaze lowered.
"When I lived in California with my mom, we had a neighbor called Jimmy." I paused as a wave of pure hatred swept over me. It made me physically sick even remembering his face but I forced myself to continue; Edward was finally being honest, and I didn't want to appear weak after snapping at him earlier for hiding the truth. That was hardly fair.
"Jimmy and Renee, my mom, dated briefly. They broke up but remained friends," my voice lowered into an almost whisper, "He used to give me rides from school whenever she worked late. Back then, she was still studying to be a teacher so she took night classes at a college in San Jacinto."
A gust of icy humid air blew past and I folded my arms across my chest. "Renee would drop me off at Jimmy's house sometimes. He'd sit with me on the couch and pretend to watch TV but..."
I shook my head, unwilling to dwell on the memory. Edward was sitting so still, I wasn't sure if he was even breathing. My heart started hammering in my chest and shamefully, my voice trembled. "The first time, I remember he took off my sweater because he said it was too hot inside the house but all I remember is feeling like someone had dumped ice water over me. I just felt frozen while he moved his hands over me..."
I struggled to remember if he had gone past my stomach that day or just my chest. I knew he had done both at some point, but whether they had happened at the same time that day was unclear to me.
"Bella."
The swing creaked suddenly as Edward shifted his weight on it and the sound interrupted my memories. I realized that I had been staring off into space and hurried to reassemble my thoughts.
When I was eleven, Renee and I moved to Sacramento," I continued, clearing my throat. "And then she met Phil, her new husband."
There was a beat of silence before Edward asked in a level tone, "Do you like Phil?"
I exhaled, relieved by his unthreatening question. Edward's hesitation the moment before had felt like an almost physical presence in the air between us.
"Yes," I responded right away, staring at the silver curtain of rain enveloping Charlie's yard. "He's really nice." My lips turned up in a small grin as I added, "He's a bit young for Renee but he makes her happy and he's fun to be around. Phil's a baseball player. Minor league."
That's great," Edward replied simply and I glanced up to see that the liquid gold of his irises seemed to have hardened. His jaw was tight, and it looked like he was holding something back, possibly anger.
"Phil's not like Jimmy," I said quickly, suddenly wanting to reassure him.
Edward had gone through a lot of trouble to make sure I wasn't harmed. Regardless of how strange his actions seemed, I was very grateful. I could tell that he worried about me, without a doubt. I just couldn't understand why.
Edward spoke in a voice that was like steel coated in honey, gritty and melodic all at once. "Bella, how can I help?"
I sucked in a slow breath, turning my torso to face him.
"I've never told anyone about Jimmy; not even Charlie knows. I've come close to telling Renee but fear always consumed me in the end. But I don't want to be afraid anymore."
Of all the bizarre things that had happened that day, blurting out my wretched secret was the most unexpected for me. Edward's intense gaze was swallowing me up and to my amazement, I wanted to dive right in and forget every reason I'd ever had for hiding all these years.
"I want to find Jimmy. If you're really as good at finding things as you say you are, then I need your help, Edward."
"Bella."Edward raised his hand to my face, as if to brush the loose strands falling out of my ponytail but pulled away abruptly. For a second, I wondered what it would be like to feel his fingers running through my hair and against my scalp. His hand had been cold when our fingers had touched in the music store; would they be soothing like a sudden rainstorm in the middle of an Indian summer?
Edward's voice snapped my mind back into focus. "Why do you want to find him? He caused you harm, so why would you want to go back to that? Even if you confront the bastard, wouldn't you rather spare yourself that much pain? And what if he tries to hurt you again?"
I slid back a few inches as Edward's tone became more demanding. Standing up, I noticed my knees were trembling, but I didn't flinch under his intense stare. I had a feeling that without his polite manners and apologies, Edward Cullen could be downright frightening.
"Edward, there some things I would like to keep to myself, if you don't mind," I answered in the most level voice I could muster.
His head bowed in response to my words, and his beautiful lips formed a sort of grimace.
"Touché," he murmured, "I am really sorry for invading your privacy." He peeked up at me from beneath his long eyelashes, as if trying to figure out whether I believed him or not.
My chest tightened in a way that truly scared me. He had gone from gruff and intimidating to sweetly ashamed in just a few moments, I had to wonder at his dramatic mood shifts. Maybe he was just a really good actor.
I knew too, that Edward was still harboring secrets, and I was determined to find them out soon enough. After digging so deeply into my life, he owed me that much.
"You can make it up to me by helping me," I said as the rain beat heavily on the porch steps. "If you want to help me, that is," I added, turning towards the front door.
The swing rocked with a clanking noise as Edward got up. I glanced over my shoulder to see him already standing two feet away. If I hadn't expected it, his impossibly fast movement would have made me jump. But by now, I was pretty sure Edward wasn't an average person at all.
"Believe me, there's nothing I want more," he said, his smooth voice suddenly passionate.
A million questions jumped to my mind, screaming to be answered, and I could only nod.
Edward's lips curved up in a sweet little smile. He handed me the wet towel, seeming to take care to avoid touching my hand. "We should continue this conversation tomorrow then?"
I nodded again, still baffled by the sight of him standing wet and beautiful under the pouring rain.
Edward backed away, stepping blindly but not stumbling on the porch steps. "Why don't I pick you up sometime before noon? We could go somewhere in Port Angeles to talk."
"All right," I managed as a clap of thunder sounded above us, "Say 10:30?"
"I'll see you soon, Miss Swan." He nodded and flashed wicked smile at me.
"Wait!" I called, stepping forward when he turned around to look at me. "Shouldn't you call for a ride first?"
Edward just shook his head and waved before turning and darting across the street into the narrow opening of trees that led to the mossy woods.
I let out a slow breath, ducking into the warm interior of Charlie's house. I hadn't realized how utterly frozen my skin was until the heat inside the house alerted me to my shivering and the dampness of my clothes. I rushed upstairs to take a warm shower.
aDc
The storm continued throughout the night but I felt strangely calm. Well, maybe not calm, but decided. My encounters with Edward had made me realize that realize that I didn't have to be a pawn in someone else's game anymore. That strange man in the Seattle alley had acted as if I were an inanimate object without a voice. He had treated me like I was incapable of feeling anything, and that gave him power to do whatever he wanted. That was exactly how Jimmy had treated me all those years before.
Then there was Edward and his snooping. Perhaps his interest in my life had gone too far, but if he hadn't been on that street earlier in the afternoon, who knows what would have happened. Perhaps I wouldn't be standing in my bedroom, safe and alive.
Still, I couldn't tell Edward everything he wanted to hear; I was entitled to my privacy. In my mind, keeping some things to myself wasn't the same thing as silence. When threatened, I said nothing. Feeling threatened was the reason I had never told Renee that Jimmy had hurt me. But now, I was choosing to withhold certain things from Edward, and that was my decision.
I was so preoccupied with these thoughts as I dressed for bed, that I didn't notice when my Yahoo Messenger popped up with a new message from Ali_pixy.
Sliding on my pajama shorts, I walked over to the computer to see what she had written.
Ali_pixy: Hey, u there?
Ali_pixy: Had a crappy day... Wanna talk?
I hurriedly sat down and hoped the storm didn't make the internet connection any worse.
Bells_forever: Hi... I'm here.
Ali_pixy: Yay! I'm so glad. I really don't feel like being alone tonight.
Bells_forever: What's going on?
Ali_pixy: Bad day at school. Well, and out of school too. This girl at my new foster home totally hates my guts. I wouldn't mind except she and another girl totally wrecked my things.
Bells_forever: What? How?
Ali_pixy: They spray painted my new Coach backpack and dumped my makeup out all over my notebook and school stuff.
My eyes widened at the screen.
Bells_forever: Isn't there anyone you can tell?
Ali_pixy: Yeah right. Our foster mom, Betty, is too busy with the little kids and besides, people don't listen to you when you're in the foster system. You just have to put up with it until an adult decides the situation is bad enough for them to do something about it.
Bells_forever: You're right. I'm really sorry. I wish I could help you in some way.
Ali_pixy: You are helping me, just by answering. I'm sorry for ranting, though. I'm just really upset and I miss my brother. If we hadn't been split up, I'd at least have someone sticking up for me. I know it sounds weak and pathetic but…
Bells_forever: No, it doesn't. We're only human, right? It's okay to want wish someone would listen to you.
At that moment, I felt like a hypocrite typing those words. What did I know about what it's needing someone? My thoughts went back to the afternoon I had spent with Edward. I had never let Charlie or Jacob help me with anything. Edward hadn't given me much choice, showing up the way he had, but I was only grateful.
Ali_pixy: Yeah, if my brother were with me, I wouldn't even be here. We'd probably run away. We always talked about going to Niagra Falls. Edward was crazy about outdoors stuff like camping and hiking. He used to tease me about ruining my shoes but I'd love to take pictures near the waterfall. It must be gorgeous there...
Bells_forever: Edward?
Ali_pixy: Yeah. I thought I mentioned his name in my earlier posts. I used to call him Eddie cause he hated it haha.
I sat back in my chair. The rain was pounding on the roof and thunder was rolling in the background, yet the sounds barely registered.
It had to be a strange coincidence. Right... just like Edward showing up in the Seattle alley was a coincidence. And that name kept chiming in my head like a bell.
Edward... Edward.
A/N
'Atta girl, Bella - make Edward work a little bit before you let him off the hook.
The next chapter will be a split POV between Edward and Bella.
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