I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
Forgive any grammar, spelling errors. I will go back and edit it more later!
Levi walks right into the apartment, looking around for Eren but seeing him no where. He takes a deep breath and walks over to his office, looking around for Eren. He walks out the office.
"Eren?" Levi calls out.
Eren walks out the laundry room with a clothes basket wearing one of Levi's shirts. "Yes?"
"There you are." Levi smiles a bit.
"Here I am!" Eren smiles at him. "Wow, you look stressed as fuck." Eren points out.
Levi let's out a dry laugh. "Yeah…yeah something like that." Levi turns around walking over to the couch plopping down on it.
Eren's face turns up, he walks over to Levi, putting the clothes basket down besides the chair. He sits on the couch next to Levi. "What's wrong?"
The raven freezes up, literally freezes up and Eren sees that. He raises his brow at Levi. "Did something happen?" Eren ask cautiously.
"Yeah, the dipshits at the office fucked some shit up, so I had to go back to the office." Levi can't even believe he let that blatant lie roll off his tongue.
Eren nods. "I'm sorry they're such dipshits babe." He then stands up and walks into the office, grabbing some things, then coming back into the living room with Levi, sitting next to him again. He lays a note book into Levi's lap.
Levi looks down at the notebook picking it up and seeing words on it. He reads the first couple words then looks at Eren."What's this?"
"It…it was for your birthday…I know it's in a couple months but…I see how stress you are, so it dawned on me, why not have us write a song together!" Eren smiles at him.
"You know I don't sing right?"
Eren rolled his eyes. "Just because you don't sing, doesn't mean you can't silly!"
Levi pinched Eren's thigh. Eren let's out a squeal. "Don't roll your eyes at me brat." They smile at each other. "Alright, give me the damn pen." Levi holds his hand out.
Eren places a pen in his hand. "I know it's late but it might help you ease your brain, you know." Eren stands up, picking up the clothes basket. "I'll be upstairs." He presses a kiss to Levi's cheek then starts his way upstairs.
Levi reads over the words again. He flips to a new page because he doesn't want to ruin what Eren has down so far. He starts jotting down ideas.
(Levi's POV)
I guess I should just write how I feel. Duh Levi , that would be the fucking smart idea. Wow…i'm really turning into a fucking Hanji. I sigh to myself before writing down some other ideas. How would this even sound?
"Eren!" Levi says loud enough.
"Yes?" Eren looks down over the railing.
"How is the melody of this song?"
"Oh! Like this." Eren starts humming the way the melody is gonna sound, honestly it's not bad. I look up at Eren to see him smiling down at me, and that's when every fucking word hits me like a break, just like a fucking brick.
I start writing exactly what i'm feeling for Eren at that moment. I never even knew I could feel so fucking strong about a person. I got so lost in this moment I forgot all my problems, every single fucking problem in my heart and head right now. The only thing that mattered to me is for Eren to know how I feel because i'm sure i'm going to loose him after this.
It was a perfect idea to put a little studio in the office for Eren, so he can work on his songs for the club. He was opposed to it at first but I told him, it would be easier this way. It shocked me when I found out Eren could produce…I know produce right? Yes, he can make amazing beats. He should go to school for it honestly.
(—Levi POV over—)
Levi got so lost into writing, he didn't realize he filled up a whole page until Eren mouths a "damn" from behind him. Levi looks up at Eren then down at the notebook. He freezes. Then laughs a little.
"Don't worry , i'll shorten it for the song." Levi says.
Eren giggles. "Well i'll go work on the beat, it's pretty early and I don't have to work at the club."
Levi bites his lip. "Yeah, I think i'm going to take the day off."
Eren makes a shocked face. "You're going to take a day off with me?!"
Levi laughs at the excitement in Eren's voice, he nods. "Yeah…then we can be like professional singers and shit and record this song."
Eren claps his hand. "Yay!" He kissed Levi's cheek and then goes into the office. "I'll start working on it now!"
Levi finished his part of the song and when he was done him and Eren discussed the chorus. Replacing some things. Even though Levi read Eren's part, Eren had no idea what Levi's said. He wanted the brunette to be surprised. Since Eren has been working on the beat for a while, it was finished just after they finished the lyrics. Just when they were going to start recording Levi's alarm started going off. He looked at his phone turning it off and he notices the time.
"Holy shit, we've been up all night Eren."
"What time is it?"
"7 AM."
Eren giggles. "Are you tired?"
"No, let's finish this song." Levi says. Honestly Levi was exhausted, after all the shit he heard yesterday and now he knew he would eventually have to break Eren's heart, he just wanted to sleep, but he couldn't. He had to relay his feelings to Eren through this song because he's not good at expressing his feelings. This is his next best way. "Are you tired?" He asked Eren.
He shakes his head. They decided to record the song together instead of one at a time. Eren sat down in front of the one microphone, Levi sat down in another chair in front of the other.
"Ready?" Eren asks.
"Ready.." Levi says taking a sip of water. He hasn't sang in a while besides in the shower, no one knew that of course because like hell if anybody knew about that.
Eren presses play and record, the beat starts playing, then Eren starts singing.
Every day before today was never gray
It's always black and white
Until tonight, yeah
I wasn't expecting you to have me seeing sepia
In shades of light
But it feels so right, yeah
Eren looks at Levi smiling at him but keeps singing.
The way you touch me
The way you hold me
My heart's about to burst
You are the first to really know me
I wanna love, but first I need someone to show me
Afraid to fall in first, but that's the old me
Eren voice gets a little higher at this part.
There's something 'bout you
That makes my skies blue
Eren smiles wide at Levi.
And whenever we're through
All I can do is see color
There's something 'bout us
When we're together
Whenever you're there, everywhere
I see color
Next was Levi's turn to sing. He took a deep breath and started. Eren looked over at Levi.
Every second you can bet my heart's collecting
Little butterflies
When I see those eyes, yeah
His thumbs gently trace under Eren's eyes keeping complete eye contact.
When our hearts collide
I hope our world is a kaleidoscope
Cause black and white
Never shines so bright, yeah
Eren looks at Levi shocked as hell. 'HE CAN SING?!' Eren thought to hisself. Levi knocks Eren out of his shock by taking his hand and pulling him a little closer but not too close where he can't sing into the mic but just enough.
The way you touch me
The way you tease me
I'm trying not to fall for you
But falling seems so easy
My heart was locked, but boy you got the key to free me
Invisible to love but boy you see me
Levi hands are gently cupping Eren's cheek smiling at him, giving him a real genuine smile. Levi was really putting his feelings deep into this song. Levi didn't know if he could get a high note like Eren but he was damn well going to try.
There's something 'bout you
That makes my skies blue
And whenever we're through
All I can do is see color
There's something 'bout us
When we're together
Whenever you're there, everywhere
I see color
Levi hit the higher parts perfectly, Eren was seriously in shock. Eren could see all the feeling in Levi's eyes. 'Is he trying to tell me how he feels?' Eren thought to himself smiling. They both start singing together harmonizing perfectly.
And maybe the world will never understand
Our kinda love
[Levi] Say, "That's quite enough!"
Levi smirks at Eren.
[Eren] But I'll fight for us
Eren smiles back at Levi. They sing together again.
I'd like to be the kinda man
You'd like to love
Levi sings this part to Eren.
We've got a right to love
Eren replies with this part.
And baby, I'd like to love you
Together hitting those wonderful soft higher notes.
Cause you're my favorite hue
Eren's voice hits the softer higher note again on this part.
There's something 'bout you
That makes my skies blue
And whenever we're through
All I can do is see color
Levi does the same thing making sure his voice is soft ending the song perfectly.
There's something 'bout us
When we're together
They sing that little bit together, Then Levi finishes the last part of it.
Whenever you're there, darling I swear
I don't see color
Levi trails off a little on the end. When the songs stops, Eren double checks to make sure it's recorded properly. He can't believe Levi and him did the song all in one go. He presses play to hear the song from the beginning. Their voices fill the room.
While the song plays Levi walks over to Eren, pulling the shorter one to him wrapping his arms around Eren's waist, leaning down and kissing Eren's lips. Levi heart was fucking breaking but he couldn't show that to Eren. He wanted to make the best of this. When they pulled back from the kiss, Levi whispered into Eren's ear.
"I love you Eren." Levi declares.
Eren looks at him, his smile going wide. "I love you too Levi."
Levi shook his head. "No, I want you to know…I love you no matter what. I know i'm fucked up for being a shitty selfish person but I love you. Nothing will ever change that okay?"
Eren stares right into Levi's eyes trying to read him. Eren looked deep into his eyes and Levi looked right back. Eren just nodded he was so speechless, he couldn't believe Levi felt this way even a little bit but he was glad, he was so fucking happy. He didn't care that Levi was married, he knows he should but he couldn't find any fucks to give.
"I love you to Levi."
(Eren's POV)
Okay…something was up with Levi. Something was MAJORLY up with Levi. I started wondering if maybe he finally told his wife about us because he started staying here at the apartment A LOT and I mean MORE than just fucking weekends. Now i'm not fucking complaining because I have been getting mind blowing sex for a whole week, not only that but he was spoiling me so much more. I woke up to breakfast in bed, a warm bubble bath with relaxing scents, I didn't have any home chores. He escorts me to the club, acts like my security guard, honestly I could use one, but not my point. He's been cooking dinner, not just regular stuff, cuisine shit I didn't even know he knew how to make. Candle lit table. Romantic shit just all fucking week.
I don't know what to make of this, or if I should make anything of it at all. Of course this was until even Mikasa said, he's been acting more brotherly than usual. That's saying something.
I knock myself out of my thoughts, getting up from laying on the couch walking over to the office. I knock on the doors, because yes Levi has been working from here for the last three days.
"Come in."
I slide the door open popping my head in. "Hey cutie." I smile at him.
He looks at me and smiles. "What's up brat?"
"I was wondering…what's up with you?"
"What do you mean?" He looks at me with his brow raised.
"You've been acting weird to everyone. Yo-you been spoiling me…I have no problem with it but Mika said you even been being brotherly with her and that just something you don't do…so what's up with you?"
Levi looks at me with the saddest look in his eyes. What the fuck is up with him. I walk into the office a little more standing in front of him. He looks at me while he's sitting on his desk chair.
"I…I can't tell you right now Eren but I swear I will okay..I-I just need time."
I just stare at him for a moment. Something is really wrong with him. "Fine…but you better not take long…I want to help." I lean in to kiss his cheek then turns around and walks back out the room, closing the door behind me when I do.
I walk up the stairs, grabbing my phone off of the bed side table and dialing Mika.
"Hello?"
"One sec." I quickly call Armin.
"Hello?"
I merge to call together.
"Okay you two, something is up with Levi."
"He is Levi." Mikasa states.
"Yes but he just said that he can't tell me right now but he will."
"Well Eren you can't really make him tell you now if he isn't ready." Armin says.
"I-I know this, it's just…i'm so worried. Do you guys maybe…think..he left Petra finally?" I mumble into the phone.
"That might be the case. Petra called me the other day asking if I know when Levi was going to come by to pick up his stuff, but I just assumed." Mikasa says.
"May-maybe he's just sad." Eren thinks.
"That could be exactly it—Marco! I'm on the phone!" Armin yells giggling.
My brow raises. "Marco? That guy who works for Levi..ARMIN."
"Armin has a boyfriend?!" Mikasa exclaims.
"Sh-shut up!" Armin squeals.
Mikasa andI I both laugh.
(Levi's POV)
Petra asked me to come to the house today. I pull up to the house, parking in the drive way, turning the car off and getting out. I walk up to the door opening it knowing it's not locked. I hear laughter in the one lounging room. I know those voices. I walk over to the lounging room and my whole face loses any fucking color I had. Pull your shit together Levi. I take a deep breath.
"Maman, Father." I say in a stern voice.
They both turn around. My mother stands up and scurries over to me embracing me in a tight hug.
"My baby!" She hugs me even tighter. "Have you grown? You look like you've grown?" She takes a step back and holds my face in her hands. "You've even got a bit fatter! You've been eating more! Good. You need to not work so much!"
I sigh pulling her hands off my face. "Maman, I have to work, it's my company."
"So the hell what, everyone needs a break!"
"Kuchel, leave the man alone, he's a hard worker like his father and anyway he needs to provide for his baby on the way." My father stood up and walked over me holding his hand out. I took it and shook it. Petra told them about the baby, of course she did.
"Where's my wife?" I say trying not to snarl because honestly I was feeling a little pissed.
"Actually dear…that's what we want to talk to you about.." My mom says. I raise my brow at her. They both walk back over to the couch and I follow sitting on the chair across from them.
My mom took a deep breath, she looks at her husband, he looks back at her then they both look at me. "Who is she?" My father ask.
"Who is who? Who is my wife?" I squinted at him because I had no clue who or what he was talking about.
My mother puts the iPad on the table then sliding it to me, I pick up the iPad looking at it. My mouth gets so fucking watery. I think whatever color I managed to get back is officially gone again. I put on my best fucking acting because this…this is not going to end fucking well at fucking all. I put the iPad back down and cross my legs.
"It's a woman."
"Clearly but why are you kissing this woman?" My father ask.
"Because I wanted to." Keeping my voice low and steady.
"Levi…we know that's not actually a woman." My mother says.
My eyes go a bit wide from shock, I clear my throat. "How did you find out?"
My father laughs. Bastard. "I am VINCE fucking Ackerman like hell I wasn't going to find out who this woman was that could potentially ruining everything you worked so god damn hard for." He looks at me speaking sternly as if I'm a child. "You WILL stop seeing this damn transvestite. You understand. Today."
"Dear…let's not be so hasty." My mother says looking at him. Maman has always had my back, even if she couldn't do much against my father I knew she felt some sort of way.
"Why? Who said anything about HIM ruining anything? How the fuck do you know if he's going to ruin anything I worked hard for? How the fuck do you know he isn't making me want to work harder?" I say with just as much venom as him.
"The little trannys name is Eren Jaeger correct?" He says with a evil smirk on his face. "Oh yes, I found out all about your whatever he is. A stripper, he's a fucking cross-dressing stripper. Isn't he a bit you—"
"Shut the fuck up you insufferable bastard!" I stand up yelling, my blood is fucking boiling I don't give a fuck if he's my father or not.
My father looks right at me still with that shitty smirk on his face. "You leave him or I ruin his life." My eyes go wide. "We both know I have the resources to as well." He sits back crossing his legs.
FUCK. I just glare at him because he's right. Even if I do have all the fucking money, it wouldn't be able to pull Eren out of whatever the fuck this damn bastard is thinking. FUCK. FUCK PETRA. FUCK FUCK FUCK!
"Tomorrow. Give me until fucking tomorrow." I spit through clench teeth.
"Fine." He says.
I fix my top and starts walking out of the room. I slowly walk upstairs and head toward the whole other side of the mansion. Soon as I turn the corner, I can feel every thing I've been thing to hold back. I start walking even faster feeling as if the hallway is getting fucking longer. I can't do this, fuck. Even if i'm telling myself some bullshit I keep fucking walking.
I finally get to the room, feeling like it's been 30 minutes, when it only took me two minutes. I close the door behind me. I have felt a lot of shit in my life, I have had rampages like a fucking titan. I have my sad fucking days, i've had my days where I thought being a fucking rich boy ruined my life.
This…this was fucking nothing. My build was literally boiling. Literal because my whole entire body was red. I swear I was seeing red. I was so mad I was fucking crying. Not only was I fucking seething, I was so hurt. I didn't want to fucking do this to Eren. Eren doesn't deserve this. I…I don't regret being with him though. Every moment we've had together I cherish so fucking dear.
(Levi's POV Ends)
(Later that day 3:00 PM) [Read Prologue for more]
"I." Levi whispers in Eren's ear. "…I…I came here to end it."
"N..no..Levi…no…don't…don't…please don't leave." Eren begged him.
Levi hesitates then pulls his arm from Eren's grasp. "I'm sorry Eren…I…I love my wife." He whispers. The pain the raven is feeling right now is indescribable. He didn't want to do this. He REALLY didn't.
4:45 PM
I love you Levi, even though you don't love me.
Goodbye….
Levi looks at the message on his phone, with his eyes wide. "What the fuck is the brat talking about goodbye?" Levi's heart is racing. He press the call icon on his phone. "Answer the damn pho-"
"The person you are calling does not have a voicemail set up."
"FUCK!" Levi screams. He was a couple minutes away from home , he makes a u-turn right in the middle of traffic, not giving a fuck about any of the cars. "No no, it wasn't suppose to fucking happen like this…fuck fuck fuck." Levi drives fast back over to Eren's house.
5:00 PM
His phone starts ringing, he doesn't even look at the caller ID. He picks it up. "EREN?!"
"Don't go back to his place,go to the hospital." Mikasa answers in a shakey voice.
He thought the phone call was Eren."How did you know I was on my way there?"
"Because Levi, i'm not fucking stupid. Armin and i were on our way to see him when we got the…text." Her voice trembles even more. "We're at the hospital."
"I'm on my way."
Levi hangs up the phone and he speeds his way the rest of the way to the hospital.
5:20 PM
Levi parked his car and jumped out, running into the hospital. He walked inside looking around. He noticed his sister and ran over to them.
"Where's Eren?!" Levi yells.
"Back there…they're not telling us anything…" Armin whispers.
"Wa-was he…" No Levi didn't want to say the words.
"He was so cold…and he was blue…and…there was so much…so much blood…it…it…" She trailed off and started crying again.
"Thi-this is all my fault." Levi whispers to himself.
"Armin!" Someone yells.
"Mika!" Someone else yells.
"Oh god Levi!"
The three turns their heads to Hanji, Erwin, and Marco. Marco immediately runs over to Armin as soon as Eren gets in his arms, he looses it.
"I just…I wanna know how he is…and they…they aren't telling us anything…What…what if he's de—" Mikasa starts letting out loud sobs. Levi heart is breaking because he's never seen her like that. She did't even cry like this when she was a baby. Levi wants to break down him damn self because he knows he caused this, he knows Eren is here because of him. He knows Eren tried to kill himself because of him.
Levi's pulls his sister out her seat onto his lap pushing her head in his shoulder. He rubs her head trying to calm her down. "Shh. It's going to be okay we're going to find out what's going on." Levi hasn't held his sister like this since she was born. Levi looks at Erwin nodding his head. Erwin got the message and walked over to the nurse station.
6:00 PM
No doctor has came out yet, no nurse has told them anything. Every single person was restless. Mikasa finally calmed down from crying and so did Armin. Levi truly felt numb, this was his fault and he's going to continue to blame himself. He would leave Eren for good, after he knows he's okay.
Someone they never thought would run in there at that moment did. "Mikasa?! Armin?! Where's Eren?!"
"Adam?" Armin looks at him. "Wh-who called you?"
"Sasha, I stopped by the club and when I got there they all told me what happened and they said as soon as the boss closes the building down they're coming but when they told me i dropped everything and ran here." Adam says out of breath.
"Y-you ran here? Y-you didn't take your car?" Armin ask.
"Soon as I heard Eren was in the hospital, hell yeah I ran…took me 30 minutes but I got here." He catches his breath finally. "What happened?"
"Eren tried to…to.." Armin couldn't even finish.
"Eren tried to commit suicide." Mikasa finishes for him.
Adam's whole body freezes, he looks at them. "Wh-where is he?"
"They haven't told us anything yet at all." Erwin says.
Someone clears their throat. Everyone looks up. "Eren Jaegers family?"
Levi stands up right along with Mikasa and Armin, and Adam as well. "Y-yes?" Armin answers.
"He lost so much blood so we had to give him a blood transfusion, usually people can't come back from a cut that deep on their wrists. His heart stopped a once during surgery but we brought him back. Not only that but we had to pump his stomach. We had to put him in a medically induced coma, but we will wake up him tomorrow. Since he did try to commit suicide, we have to put him on psych watch." The doctor explained.
"So…basically he's in a room with nothing and his hands are strained?" Mikasa deadpans.
"Unfortunately yes, when we wake him up and have our psychologist exam him to see if we should keep him on the psych watch, we'll move him to a different room."
"Can…can we see him?" Armin ask.
"Not tonight, visiting hours are from 10 am to 7 pm. He should just rest for now okay?" The doctor says then turning back around and walking away.
"DAMN IT!" Armin yells. Marco rubs his back trying to calm him down. "What the fuck was he thinking?!"
"It-it's my fault." Levi says.
"What?" Everyone says turning to look at him.
Mikasa walks up to him and pulls him to her height by his collar? "What the fuck did you do Levi?!"
Levi's kept his look on her. "I…Petra is pregnant."
Mikasa looks at him with disbelief. "Oh my god. Yo-you did it. Y-you pushed him off the edge…you broke FUCKING BROKE HIM!" Mikasa yells, she let's go of his collar. "I told you…I told you, you would be the one to push him to the edge. Yo…HE TRIED TO FUCKING KILL HIMSELF BECAUSE OF YOU." Mikasa says holding back the tears.
"I…know." He whispers. "I didn't want this to fucking happen Mikasa."
"Yeah well it fucking happened." Armin says through clench teeth.
"Stay away from him." Mikasa says.
"I will. Just let me know tomorrow that he's alright…that's all I fucking ask." Levi begs. He doesn't beg but there he was begging.
Armin looks at Mikasa but she doesn't move from her spot. Armin looks back at Levi and nods. Levi nods back in understanding. He's walks out the hospital and before he reaches his car Erwin calls out to him.
"What is it?" Levi looks at him.
"Levi…you…you look like you're about to lose it." Erwin states keeping calm.
"I won't."
"Levi… you remember the last time?"
"Damn it eyebrows, just leave me the fuck alone."
"Levi.."
"Shut the fuck up." Levi says sternly with venom so deep in his voice. Him and his friend have a staring contest and Levi's breaks it getting into his car.
He starts it up and drives away from the hospital. Levi HATED his father, no no HATE isn't the word. Levi hated that he couldn't protect Eren from him. Levi was fucking pissed, that he had to leave Eren. Levi hated himself. More then anything. Now he just had to do what was better for everyone especially Eren. He was just going to stay away.
"Fuck!" Levi screams in his car. 'What the fuck is my life.'
Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!
Favorite, and Review ! xD
Song: Color - Todrick Hall and Jay Armstrong Johnson c;
