If you're having trouble picturing Ephermelda, I put a picture of her with Magic Man to scale on my deviantart. The link to my page is in my profile, it's the same name I have here, TheGreatAllie. The pic is in my main gallery, between some pictures of ponies. Or, as of now (9/11/12) is the only result for searching Ephermelda on dA.
What's that? You want to get back to the friggin' story already? Well, why didn't you say so! Here comes the gray line:
"Thanks again for helping me," said Princess Bubblegum.
"No problem, Princess," said Finn.
Just now Princess Bubblegum had visited Candy Preschool to entertain the children. Finn and Jake had stopped by the castle to see if she needed any hero biz done today, but she said she was going on some goodwill visits. When she asked if they wanted to come, Finn blurted out "Yes!" right away. Though Finn had given up pining for Princess Bubblegum so he could focus his affections on Flame Princess, an infatuation like his doesn't go away overnight. He still would do just about anything for her, and still would rather be with her than not. Jake, on the other hand, opted to go back home and take a two-day nap instead.
First on the itinerary had been the preschool. Every now and again Princess Bubblegum went to the Candy Kingdom Preschool to read to the children. They were always unruly and out of control, the Candy Nanny unable to rein them in due to her advanced age combined with lack of limbs. But when Princess Bubblegum came in, all that changed. She got the attention of the candy children, just enough so they knew she was there and she had a treat. Then she would sit down on the floor. The children would come over to see what was going on. Then Bubblegum would begin to read in an emoted, but quiet, voice. If they wanted to hear the story, the children would have to be quiet. It worked like a charm. Finn was amazed at that.
Now they were on their way to the Candy Soup Kitchen. Princess Bubblegum liked to make sure that even the least well off citizens of the Candy Kingdom had food to eat and a warm place to sleep. It was important to her that all of her citizens were healthy and happy, and when they weren't, it was her job to fix that. Or invent something to fix that. Maybe when she stayed holed up in her lab for days working on something, she felt she needed to make herself seen by her subjects, so they knew she was still there and still cared even if you couldn't tell because she ended up with no invention to show for it.
When they got there, Princess Bubblegum got right to distributing sandwiches. Finn hung back and looked around. True, the worst off of the Candy Kingdom were still better off than the lowest class of other cities he'd visited, but they were hardly a comfortable class of people. The ones that had clothes wore rags, and all of them were thin and dirty. Some of them took the food given to them and ate it as quickly as possible, licking their fingers to pick up every last crumb. Others ate slowly, to make it last. A few people weren't eating at all, but just here to be out of the sun. Several of them were wrapped in blankets, even though it was warm outside.
When all the food was distributed, Princess Bubblegum went around giving all of the citizens affection like they needed. She snuggled candy corns, stroked gumdrops, and cooed at cookies. One candy citizen, huddled under his blankets in the corner, nudged her away when she got to him. "No, thanks," he rasped.
Princess Bubblegum shrugged and moved on to a candy cane who needed love. Finn approached the candy man that turned her away. "Yo, don't you want some TLC from the princess?"
"Nah."
Something about him struck Finn as odd, but he couldn't quite place it. Then he focused on the hat. Yellow hat with blue wrapped around it. "Wait a minute..." Finn reached out and threw the blanket aside, revealing Magic Man curled up under it, holding a sandwich that was itself sandwiched between two dirty donuts. "Magic Man!"
Magic Man swallowed a large lump of food.
"You got some nerve showing your face around these parts after what you done to my bro!" Finns shouts attracted the attention of the rest of the kitchen, including Princess Bubblegum.
"Well, technically, you're the one that showed my face," said Magic Man. "I was keeping it hidden."
"Who is this?" Princess Bubblegum asked Finn.
"That's Magic Man," Finn said with disdain. "He's bad news, Princess. He turned me into a foot! And a whole bunch of other people into a bunch of other body parts!"
"For a magical life lesson." Magic Man felt the need to clarify.
"That's a serious offence." Princess Bubblegum looked thoughtful.
"Yeah, and that's not all! He tricked Mars into putting Jake on trial for his crimes! He was gonna have Jake killed!"
"Crimes? What crimes on Mars?"
"Hey, what happens on Mars stays on Mars," said Magic Man.
"He's probably here to junk up Candy Kingdom and mess everybody all up!"
"Wrong again!" Magic Man gloated. "I'm just passing through on my way to Wish Mountain. A magic fairy princess told me how to get there."
"... What?" Finn finally stopped yelling.
"It's true. There's been this fairy following me all week and she told me what to do."
"Uh-huh."
"Yeah, I know how it sounds. A snail wizard glued our brains together after I saved the Village of Bright People from a red dragon."
Finn looked at Princess Bubblegum. "Are you getting any of that?"
"Hmm." Princess Bubblegum was thinking hard. "The Village of Bright People is a historic landmark in Ooo, ever since the Lich wiped them out overnight many years ago. Red dragons have been extinct for almost five hundred years. Your story doesn't add up."
"See? He's lying!"
Princess Bubblegum shook her head. "I don't think so."
Magic Man beamed.
"I think he's just dangerously crazy."
Magic Man immediately soured.
"Well, duh," said Finn. "He's got mad crazy brains in his head. You should see the sty hole he lives in."
Princess Bubblegum continued, "If what you're saying is true, and I would be willing to act on your word as a hero alone, it sounds like we should make sure that he's locked up in the dungeon for his crimes. Perhaps I can contact Mars and ask them if he needs to be extradited..."
Magic Man laughed. "Dream on, honey! You can't lock up these buns!"
"Oh, I've invented ways to keep powerful wizards and magic users confined," said Princess Bubblegum. "I had to in case we ever need to lock up the Ice King." Then she shouted, "Banana guards!" No sooner were the words out of her mouth then two armed banana guards entered the building. They were always nearby in case she needed them.
The other candy people seemed to be trying to stay out of the way of this strange confrontation. A few were actually standing on the Princess's side, as if they would be willing to fight for her if the situation got ugly. After all, she came here as a show of support to them, so why shouldn't they do the same?
"I've seen him disappear before!" Finn warned Princess Bubblegum. "He can open up a magic hole and escape through it!"
"Don't worry," said Princess Bubblegum. She pulled a small electronic device out of her pocket. "This should help to neutralize this magic field."
"Wait, you just carry that around with you?"
Magic Man opened a blue sparkling portal. "Not strong enough, bubbleguts!" He laughed, then sent some sparks right into Princess Bubblegum's eyes.
"Aah!" Bubblegum's hands flew to her eyes, which stung from his magic confetti.
Finn drew his sword and jumped between Magic Man and Princess Bubblegum.
Magic Man laughed and jumped through his portal. He landed safely on the other side...
...And realized that he was still in the same place.
Magic Man reached his arm back through the portal and wiggled it around. It wasn't really a portal at all. It was just a bright blue circle.
"Ephermelda!" he shouted.
The banana guards grabbed him by the arms.
"Usually that would work," Magic Man explained as they dragged him away. "It's because of the fairy I was telling you about earlier. She sucks out my magic juice and it gets all out of whack."
Finn made the universal "cuckoo" sign while pointing at Magic Man.
Princess Bubblegum did indeed have a dungeon that was set up to contain powerful magic users. It didn't suppress his magic juice, like the device Magic Man's brothers brought from Mars, but instead it neutralized it like the small device Princess Bubblegum had just used. His magic worked perfectly well in the cell, but there was a field surrounding it that his magic couldn't penetrate.
The banana guards tossed him in the cell quite roughly, and he landed on his stomach with the wind knocked out of him. Before he got up, they had locked the door and left the field. There was only a little light in here, a single fluorescent strip attached to the ceiling outside his cell, and a barred window near the ceiling inside his cell, at ground level outside.
Finn had followed the guards here and was now standing just outside Magic Man's cell, arms crossed, grinning smugly. "That's what you get," said Finn when he saw Magic Man looking at him.
"Are you still mad about that?" Magic Man, despite how angry Finn was at him, wasn't entirely sure what it was he had done to Finn in particular.
"I could forgive you turning me into a foot," said Finn. "Someday, I mean. Maybe. But what you did to Jake? That's cold. That's unforgivable, man."
Finn watched him for a while longer before he left. The banana guards set up their security cameras so that they could leave Magic Man alone, and then they did. Leave him alone, that is.
He fell asleep on the dungeon floor, next to the dungeon bed.
"Hey, sweetie."
Magic Man looked up- he was sitting, and looking right up at Margles.
He wiped his eyes. "Oh. Hey, Margles."
She sat down next to him, their backs against the dungeon wall. "You wanna talk about it?"
"I've been having a lot of trouble lately," he replied.
"Oh?"
"Everyone else is being such a jerk to me."
"Well, if the only common denominator in your problem is you, I think you've found the source."
Magic Man scowled. "You sound just like my brothers."
"I don't mean to." She sounded apologetic.
Magic Man looked at her, then just wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her close. She returned the hug. Unable to keep himself from crying, Magic Man managed to say, "Why didn't I listen to you?"
"Shh, shh, it's okay." She rubbed his back gently. "I know... just, sometimes things happen."
"But I neededyou. I still do."
"Your brothers needed you, Magic Man."
"They sure had a funny way of showing it."
"People cared about you."
"I don't care about anyone."
"You used to."
"Yeah, and now I don't anymore."
"You know what I think?" Margles didn't wait for an answer. She pulled out of the hug and held his shoulders. "I think you don't want to deal with anything. I think that when I died it hurt you so much that you just stopped caring about anyone but yourself. Because if you didn't care about anyone, then nothing could hurt you. But then it went too far. You got too detached. Because you didn't care, you turned water into hair and people into body parts without caring what it did to anyone else. That wasn't cool, my love."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying give a toot about someone other than yourself. Don't be a jerk. Don't turn someone's shadow alive to attack them. Turn their shadow alive so that they have at least one friend in the world."
She cupped his face in her hands. "Be the Magic Man I fell in love with."
His body jumped as he woke up. It was dark, hardly a star in the sky outside his window. Magic Man sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around. He looked out the window at the black sky above. Only one solitary star sent its light all the way to the Candy Kingdom. Magic Man squinted. No, not a star. A planet.
Mars.
He couldn't know that over two hundred million kilometers away, his brothers were looking back at him, but somehow he felt that they were.
