Title: All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Jack and Gaby search for Kasim in Algeria.
-------------------- All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye ---------------------
He'd been restless ever since they'd landed in Algiers. Nothing could relax him — not the back massage she'd given him once they'd settled into their hotel room, not the impromptu lovemaking the massage had sparked, not the hot shower afterwards...
Jack now paced back and forth before the balcony window like a caged jungle cat, occasionally stopping to pull back the drapes and stare out into the night. Waiting to track down his injured son was driving him crazy. He was already impatient under the best of circumstances, Gabrielle had learned, and not being able to move out as he wanted — having to wait for daylight in order to meet Paul's contact — had made him edgy and tense. She wasn't sure what she should say to him, if anything.
And something had started nagging at her on the long plane ride over.
Were they right to do this? Take Kasim from his mother?
Were they kidnapping him?
She honestly wasn't sure. Going to Algeria to find Jack's son had seemed so right at the outset. But now she had doubts. Kazima might not be the best mother for the boy. Still, she was his mother. The situation was so complex...
"Jack?" Gabrielle sat on the bed, watching him stalk across the room. She wished he'd stop. It was unnerving.
"Huh?" Jack grunted, his back to Gaby as he stood at the window, moonlight silhouetting his strong frame.
Gaby took a deep breath before speaking. A touchy Jack, already tired from travel and anxious over his son's condition and whereabouts, would be ripe for an argument. Maybe she shouldn't ask.
"What?" Jack asked, turning to face her. "What is it?" He was glowering, frustrated with the delays.
"What if..." Gaby swallowed hard. She wasn't afraid of Jack but she hated it when she hit a nerve with him. "What if Kasim... doesn't want to come back... with us?" She paused, waiting for any response. Getting none, she cautiously continued. "Kazima is his mother..."
Jack folded his arms defensively over his bare chest, glaring now at his girlfriend.
"You think I'm wrong? To come after him?" He narrowed his eyes at her. His voice was eerily quiet.
"I think... it's... complicated." She knew it was a weak reply, one that didn't answer his question, but she didn't honestly have an answer.
Jack clenched his jaw, furious with Gaby. He grabbed a t-shirt from a nearby chair and pulled it on.
"I need some air," he said in a soft, bitter tone.
"Jack, wait!" Gabrielle called, starting to get off the bed and follow him. "JACK!" But he'd already slammed the door, letting her know that she wasn't welcome to join him.
Dammit, she thought as she lay back on the bed, fighting tears.
It happened so suddenly that she didn't have time to react. They'd broken into the hotel room as she slept.
Her mind screamed "NO" as the men held her down on the bed, turning her onto her stomach so they could tie her hands behind her back. She began to scream out loud but was quickly gagged with a thick cloth.
Was she going to be raped... again? The two men turned her again, roughly. They leered down at her.
She heard the doorknob clicking and turning. Her eyes darted in its direction. Her breath came in gasps, barely able to escape the cloth gag.
One of the men silently leapt from the bed, hiding behind the door. A shaft of light cut through the darkness in the room as the door opened.
"Gabrielle?"
The soft, apologetic sound of Jack's voice was cut short by the harsh crack of the gun butt against the back of his head. He grunted from the impact, then crumpled to the floor, completely unconscious. His attacker moved swiftly to tie Jack's hands behind his back, gag him and blindfold him. Gaby whimpered, seeing the man she loved so badly injured. Anger surged within her and she gnashed her teeth against the cloth gag. Jack needed her help; the blow he'd taken to the head was serious.
Just as the blindfold was slipped over her own eyes, she saw Jack being dragged away. His body was limp and a trickle of blood streamed from his nose.
She wondered if they would die together or separately as she was led from the hotel room and into what felt like a waiting van. Once she'd been pushed into the back of the vehicle, she felt Jack's still body lying next to her. Nestling against his side, she said a silent prayer for both of them. And for Kasim.
Maybe it had only been a couple of hours but it felt like an eternity. Everything was black, stuffy and terribly uncomfortable. The ropes used to bind Gabrielle's hands were cutting into her wrists; the cloth gag chafed at the sides of her mouth.
When she'd been wrenched from the vehicle, she'd felt strong, masculine hands pushing her along through what seemed like a maze of turns. Now she sat, somewhat slumped against a wall, in some sort of room. She'd heard a door shut heavily behind her.
She had no idea what they'd done with — or to —Jack.
Now the door creaked open. The meaty hands gripped her slim arms again, hoisting her to her feet. She was shoved towards... something.
Walk! A man's voice barked at her in French. She stumbled, nearly tripping, unable to see through the thick blindfold. The man pushed her rudely.
After a series of turns, Gabrielle heard another door shut behind her. The meaty hands were gone. A lighter touch from behind removed her blindfold.
Jack lay semi-conscious, sprawled on the floor, low moaning sounds coming from deep in his throat every so often.
Beside him, a small boy with a slew of filthy, bloody bandages wrapped around his shin area sobbed in obvious pain. His green eyes were red from crying. The child seemed scared, cringing whenever he looked over at Jack. This was Kasim. And this was how he was meeting his father for the first time.
Gabrielle noticed her medical bag sitting between Jack and the boy. She felt the same soft hands that had taken away her blindfold now removing the binds from her wrists. She then felt the barrel of a gun pointed into the small of her back.
Begin your work... Doctor, a woman's voice said in French.
Not since Alejandro had tried to strangle her had she fought so hard for air. But with the woman's gun now pointed directly at her forehead, seeing the woman's finger on the trigger as she worked to clean Kasim's leg wound, Gabrielle's lungs suddenly forgot their natural function. Still kneeling over Kasim, she slowly raised her eyes to her abductor.
Please, Gabrielle said in French, Please don't shoot. I'm just trying to help the boy.
The woman's eyes narrowed.
You are with... this man, are you not? The woman nodded towards Jack. She knew exactly who Gaby was and why she was there. Kasim writhed in pain, the dirty bandages starting to unravel from where they'd been wrapped around his leg wound.
Gaby swallowed hard. Whatever she said next might be the last word she would ever speak.
Yes, she said quietly.
You have come to care for Kasim, the woman said.
Yes, Gabrielle said, her eyes meeting the woman's. They shared a look for a few awkward seconds. Kasim began to sob; his leg throbbed from the shrapnel wound. The woman's eyes focused on Kasim's battered leg. Then she looked directly at Gabrielle again.
Gaby felt the cold metal of the gun shift against her forehead.
The woman brought the weapon to her side, pulling down her black veil so that Gabrielle could see her face. She was a gorgeous woman, her dark features captivating and noble. This, Gabrielle knew, was Kazima.
Kasim needs your help. It hurts me to see him suffering like this. Whatever you think of me, you should know that I love my son. And I never wanted to put him in danger, Kazima said, putting down her weapon. Her voice began to quiver.
I believe you, Gabrielle replied. It can't have been easy for you, trying to protect him. She could tell that whatever had once happened between Jack and Kazima, at this moment, Kazima was being completely honest. She wanted what was best for Kasim.
"I am sorry... for everything," Kazima said quietly, now having switched to English from French, kneeling down to address the semi-conscious Jack. He groaned in response. "Please forgive me. Please keep our son safe. I want to... but I cannot. I knew that you would one day come for him." She turned to Gaby. "I am also sorry for... this." Kazima's black eyes fixed on her sickly son. "Kasim needs medicine."
"How did you know we were here?" Gabrielle asked. She felt as if she could speak with Kazima now.
"I have my sources," Kazima answered. "I have always known how to find Jack." Gaby looked down. "But," Kazima added, "the time has come to put real distance between us. Too many years have passed. There is nothing left. Except our son."
Kazima's eyes lingered on Kasim as Gaby tended to his wound. She hid her face in her hands for a minute, then looked directly at Gaby.
"Take him," Kazima whispered to Gabrielle, nodding in Kasim's direction. "Raise him. For me. Please. You — and Jack — will not see me again." Kasim looked quizzically at the women, gritting his teeth through pain. He didn't understand the words his mother said, knowing only French and Arabic.
"I ... I will," Gabrielle promised. "I won't let him forget you."
"Thank you," Kazima replied, taking Gaby's hand in hers.
Kazima said a soft, final goodbye to her son in Arabic, kneeling to kiss him and stroke his hair. Kasim said something back quietly to his mother in Arabic and gave her a sweet hug. He began to cry, realizing that she was this time leaving him forever. Before her own tears started to fall, Kazima pulled her veil back to cover her lovely face, stood, looked at Kasim one last time and dashed off into the black of the desert night. She left her weapon behind, not even thinking of it as she ran sobbing from Kasim's view.
After administering pain medicine and antibiotics to Jack's brave little son, Gabrielle lay down between Jack and Kasim on the blanket. She held Kasim against her breast as he finally, fitfully fell asleep, the narcotics easing his pain and hastening his slumber. He was already exhausted. She also kept a concerned eye on Jack, who occasionally moaned as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Gaby worried about the blow to the head Jack had taken; she wasn't used to seeing him so still and quiet for such a long time. Even when he slept under normal circumstances, Jack kicked and snorted as if fighting rest.
When Jack finally regained consciousness, he groaned and nearly passed out again when he tried to sit up. Gabrielle assured him that everything was alright — he needed to save his strength. Jack relaxed at last, thankful that his girlfriend and his boy were alive and well. He was speechless when he realized that his son was sleeping next to him, close enough to touch. Kasim lay between Gaby and Jack, snoring softly, and they spoke no words, content to rest together silently in the small desert shelter side by side, keeping their tiny treasure warm and safe.
Paul's contact found them the next afternoon. He'd received word secretly from Kazima of the trio's whereabouts and had spent the day searching for them. Kazima assured him that no harm would come to any of them. But they should leave immediately.
Kasim clung to Gabrielle fiercely, unwilling to let Jack anywhere near him. He was afraid of the man he'd seen dragged in unconscious from the outside. Gaby patiently tried to explain to Kasim that Jack was her most special friend, a good man who had come to help Kasim. But Kasim wouldn't listen; in French, he told Gaby to keep the Sleeping Man away. Jack, still achy and bruised from his ordeal, was heartbroken. His boy wanted nothing to do with him. And Kasim didn't know that Jack was his father. How would he react when he learned the truth?
On the plane ride home, Kasim snuggled against Gabrielle's shoulder, only occasionally offering Jack a shy glance. The boy wasn't sure what to make of the handsome man who had eyes that looked just like his own. Whenever Jack smiled in his direction, Kasim hid his face quickly in Gaby's breast. Jack sighed; his son feared him.
Gabrielle cooed sweetly in French to Kasim and he whispered back, so softly that she had to strain to hear him. He clutched her tightly, scared to let go. She nuzzled his black hair. He was a gentle little soul, unfailingly polite whenever he spoke to her in his tiny voice. Unless spoken to first, Kasim wouldn't open his mouth. Gaby felt him tremble as she held him; it broke her heart.
Should we sit next to the Sleeping Man? she whispered to Kasim in French. He looks so lonely.
Kasim sneaked a look at Jack. He replied to Gaby's question with a furtive little whisper that she had to lean down to hear. What he said made her giggle. She answered in French, Jack hearing the words "Papá" and "lion" distinctly as the pair studied him. At last, Kasim giggled, too, hiding his face again. Jack had the feeling he was being talked about. Giving Gaby a wink, he nodded at Kasim. Gabrielle broke into a brilliant smile. Whispering in French once more to Kasim, who looked up at his father and grinned, Gaby motioned for Jack to come sit with them. He hesitated for a moment before slowly moving to sit so that Kasim was between he and Gabrielle.
"What's so funny?" Jack asked, wanting to know how he factored into whatever little in-joke was going on between his son and his girlfriend. Kasim's green eyes sparkled as he studied his father. Jack longed to touch his son, hold him as Gaby had been. He'd been waiting years; he could hold out for a while more until Kasim was ready.
"Kasim says," Gabrielle began, a huge smile spreading across her face, "that his Papá is a hairy lion." Her eyes focused on Jack's shirt, unbuttoned just enough to show his chest hair. He looked down, raised an eyebrow playfully, saw Kasim giggle and had to laugh. "I told him I agree," Gaby said, kissing Kasim on the top of his tousled head. The boy giggled with joy. "He asked if he'll be a hairy lion one day, too." Kasim, who seemed to know that Gabrielle was explaining their little joke, pulled out his own shirt collar and looked down at his bare chest. Then he grinned up at Jack. He was still getting used to the idea of the American being his real father.
Jack's thoughts flashed back to his own childhood, when he and Sarah would play. She was Tony The Tiger's daughter, TigerSarah, and she wanted to play Zoo. But Jack was a boy and Zoo was too tame for him. He liked playing Jungle. And he wanted to be the biggest animal of all. So he pretended he was Hairy Lion, their big stuffed toy, and with their young dog Shep he'd prowl among Sarah's Zoo for unsuspecting victims, roaring like a little beast all the while. Jenny Giraffe, Tony The Tiger's wife, was Hairy Lion Jack's favorite prey and when he was two, he'd tried to feed her to Shep. His best friend was hungry and if lions found giraffes tasty, dogs probably did, too. TigerSarah wasn't amused and Hairy Lion Jack ended up crying in his mother's arms when his big sister showed him why lions might be king of the jungle but tigers were just plain fierce.
"Tell him he's right," Jack said, his hand shaking as he gently stroked his son's thin arm. "His Papá definitely is a hairy lion. But let him know I'm a nice hairy lion, OK?" Kasim, feeling Jack's touch, turned to his father. At first he just stared at Jack. Then, slowly, he turned to embrace him, tightly hugging Jack as he rested his little head against his father's chest. Jack took in a ragged breath, overcome with emotion. Gaby couldn't keep tears from welling up in her eyes and then spilling down her cheeks at the sight of Kasim and Jack holding each other. "Son..." Jack said huskily, unsure if Kasim understood him. "Baby... Kasim..." At the sound of his name, Kasim said "Papá" and pressed his face against Jack's chest.
"How..." Jack's voice broke and he worked to steady it. "How did he know? About me?"
Gaby whispered a question to Kasim in French. He softly replied with a lengthy answer, sighing, and studied Jack curiously.
"His mother told him — to smile into the camera so his American Papá could see how handsome he was." Gaby wiped back tears. She felt for Kazima at this moment. "He says his grandfather made him hold the gun and it scared him." She laughed, remembering Kasim's response, and continued, "He wanted an American football, not a gun."
Jack broke down then, the sobs coming from deep in his throat. He didn't want to scare his boy but he couldn't keep his emotions inside any longer. Gabrielle embraced both Kasim and Jack, wanting to comfort them both. Kasim whispered to her in French. She responded in a whisper, kissing the sweet little boy.
"He asked me why you're crying," Gaby told Jack, who was trying to regain control. "I told him it's because you're so happy to be his Papá and to have him with you." Jack hastily brushed away his tears, kissing Kasim on the top of his head. "He says he's happy, too," Gaby went on, needing a minute to keep from breaking into tears, "and that he loves you. He loves... us."
I love you, Jack said in French to his son, who hugged him even more tightly. Oh, I love you. Gabrielle wiped her own tears, touched that Jack had learned some French from her after all and was putting it to good use. And I love you, too, he whispered to Gaby.
I love you, too, Kasim said to Gabrielle, not wishing to be left out. His green eyes, like Jack's, seemed to peer into the deepest reaches of her soul. Gaby cradled him to her, peppering his forehead with little kisses.
You are my precious baby, she told Kasim, and I love you with all my heart.
