Ike's POV
After the incident with DeWitt, I noticed Buck avoiding Lou as much as possible. I could tell what he was trying to do, he was distancing himself. He had come really close to admitting to her how he felt, so he was trying to not be placed in a situation like that again. Buck poured himself into his work, taking extra runs even; I could tell it wasn't working. Lou was doing the same, she was trying her best to avoid being alone with Kid and doing everything she could to be alone with Buck, but Buck wasn't giving her the opportunity.
I could tell Lou was confused by Buck's behavior. She didn't understand why he was acting the way he was. I could have explained it to her but I felt like this was something they needed to work out alone. When Emma's estranged husband Evan showed up, Buck seemed slightly distracted by him, he even sat next to Lou at dinner one night without even realizing what he was doing until he sat down. He couldn't very well move without creating a scene so he stayed there.
But Evan didn't distract Buck for long. I could see it in his eyes. Once he got to thinking on what Evan had done to Emma, I could see how mad it made him. I could see how it made him realize how badly he wanted to be the one to take care of Lou for the rest of their lives. I could see my best friend and brother was hopelessly in love with her. But he didn't think he was worthy of her.
Then when Emma and Sam went out of town to a wedding we received a really big surprise when a baby girl was left on the bunkhouse porch. I'd never would have thought that a little baby could turn us all into mush. None of us could understand how a mother could just abandon their baby. That little girl had us wrapped around her finger in a matter of seconds. I could see it in Buck's eyes how badly he wanted to be a father, how badly he wanted Lou to be the mother of his children. I have to admit that I have always wanted to be a father to have a family of my own. But like Buck I doubted I would ever find a woman who would want to have my children.
And then when Buck was holding the little girl and she 'sprang a leak' as he put it, I could have died laughing at all of them. They were so completely helpless trying to change the nappy. They were making it harder than it really was. While they were teasing Teaspoon for having stuck himself with the pin holding the nappy together, I took over and had her changed before they even noticed. The looks on their faces as I cuddled that baby were priceless. I had always had a soft spot for babies. When I had first arrived at the mission I worked in the nursery, the babies were the only ones who weren't scared of me. I just hoped that one day me and Buck will both get the families we long for; I really hoped that Buck would open his eyes and see that Lou cared for him as much as he cared for her.
And then 'she' came to town. I'll admit Kathleen Delvin was beautiful, but that beauty was only on the surface, she was devious, conniving, and ruthless. I could see it in her eyes she was using Buck, but Buck was fooling himself. He was trying to use her to prove to himself that Lou was just a friend. He was trying to convince himself that he was in love with Kathleen.
When Lou found out that Buck was taking Kathleen on a picnic she was devastated. She may not have admitted it but I could see the hurt in her eyes. She hid out in the hayloft so none of the others would see her tears. I guess she had fallen asleep because she was still in there whenever Buck came home from his picnic. She was in there to witness what had happened to him because of that girl.
When Lou didn't come in for dinner I went out to the barn to find her, she was still in the hayloft; her eyes were swollen and red from her crying. I didn't know about what had happened to Buck so I thought she had been crying this whole time because he had gone out with that girl.
"Lou are you alright?"
"It's horrible Ike … how could … how could they do …. That." She said in-between sobs.
"How could who do what?"
"Delvin's men … they … they … they painted and feathered Buck because of 'her'." Lou seethed.
My eyes got huge, "They did what?"
"They humiliated him because of her!" Lou shouted, the tears gone anger in its place.
"Does Buck know you saw him?"
"No … I had fallen asleep … it wasn't until I heard Teaspoon and Buck talking that I woke up and peeked over the hayloft edge and saw them. God Ike how can … how can Buck not see that she's not worth it?" Lou asked anguish in her eyes.
"He's fooling himself Lou … he's trying to convince himself that he's in love with her, that she's worth it."
"But she's not worth it Ike… I can see it, she doesn't care for him; he's only going to get hurt." Lou said her eyes tearing up again.
"I know that and you know that, but this is something that Buck is going have to see for himself. But I don't think he will be hurt as bad as you think. His pride maybe but his heart, no."
"How do you know that Ike, he has to love her if he's willing to put up with what happened because of her?" Lou asked.
"Because I know he doesn't love her, he's trying to convince himself he does but he doesn't. He just doesn't think that he has a chance to be with the woman he really wants to be with."
"I hope you're right Ike … I hate to think of Buck getting hurt worse than he's going to be. Whoever this woman is that he really wants to be with I hope she deserves him." Lou said sadly.
I smirked, how could two people be so blind? She had absolutely no clue that I was talking about her and Buck had no clue that Lou wanted to be with him even if she hadn't come out and said it; it was there in her actions. "She deserves him Lou … he just doesn't think he's worthy of her."
"Nonsense, any woman would be lucky to have Buck." Lou stated.
"Lou, Ike you two out here? If ya don't come eat soon Cody will get it all." Jimmy called out then.
"Come on Lou we better go eat."
"I'll be right there Ike, I better wash my face first." Lou said. I just nodded my head and left the barn with Jimmy.
The next day Kathleen sent for Buck and he went to her. He didn't come back. Lou came racing into the yard hollering that Buck needed help. We didn't ask questions we just followed her. We heard the gunfire before we reached them. Lou spurred her horse into a harder gallop, the rest of us doing the same. We got there just in time, a few more minutes and Buck would have been killed by Rance.
When we got down to where Buck was, he said he was going after Rance and Kathleen.
"She ain't worth it Buck, you'll only get hurt." Lou said.
"I'll just have to take that chance." Buck said.
I wished again that I had a voice so I could tell him what an idiot he was being. Lou had just about ran her horse to death to save Buck. How could he not see that she loved him? Lou had been right of course, Kathleen was just using Buck. He came back to the station dejected. I could tell he felt like a fool, he should he had acted like one. I didn't say that to him of course, I just offered him a shoulder if he needed it.
