My flight was cancelled and is due tomorrow, which gives me more time to write! Enjoy!

"Hello, Patient 34029. Today, we'll be doing a few small tests," said the slim brunette doctor, standing in front of the door.

"Testing what, doctor?"

"I.Q, mental reflexes, hand-eye co-ordination, memory, stuff like that. We want to see, overall, how intelligent you are."

He scoffed, with a disbelieving look on his face.

"We will start with this passage and time how long it takes for you to read it," she said, handing him a laminated piece of paper with no sharp edges. "What's wrong?"

"I can't read."

"Oh yeah? How did you type this, then?" she said, holding up an evidence file, containing the card he gave to the Gotham police department that wrote "Will the Batman please stand up?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

"Can you please just do them?"

"I dunno. Can I?"

She sighed in frustration. "Could you please just do them?"

"I could, but, what's in it for me?"

"It'll help-"

She didn't say "us". The Joker gave her a glare so furiously cold she gave a small shriek and ran out the room.

Later, they got none other than Hannibal Lecter to help. He agreed in exchange for being able to read his books with his own heavily gloved hands instead of having someone hold the book up and turning the page for him.

He sighed.

"I've been hearing a lot about your tomfoolery and apathy for the tests," he murmured through his restraint mask.

"Why should I try?"

"They want to know exactly what they are dealing with, but obviously that's not going to happen due to your pertinacious unwillingness to co-operate. It would, however, be a great help if you took a just a few of these tests, so they have a vague idea. It will make it easier to treat you. I promise you the tests will be as brief and discreet as possible. Plus, you get a lollipop at the end. "

"…Go ahead, Doc."

"Excellent. Although they'd like to, they won't be testing your I.Q. I've promised to get you to do as few tests as possible, and the results from your other tests should be enough. Hand-eye co-ordination is out of the question, as all the doctors know you are an expert gunman without having any tedious tests to prove it. So, from what I see…mental reflexes are first."

Hannibal took out a few cards.

"Say out loud the color of the word and not the word…I will time you and you may start…now..."

Joker leaned on his elbow.

"Green

Red

Purple

Orange

Yellow

Blue

Pink

Brown

Red

Purple

Orange

Yellow

Green

Red

Blue

Purple

Pink. Was that it?"

"Yes. Very well done, your results are as I suspected. Above average. I really don't think we need to waste any more time on reflexes. Next up, we have memory."

"I'm going to hold up a card with 40 words on it. Your job is to try and remember as many as you can in one minute and then recite them at the end. Ready…and…go!"

Joker's eyes quickly scanned the sheet.

"And…time's up."

And to Hannibal Lecter's surprise, Joker recited each and every word correctly.

"That is exceptional, Joker."

He wrote lightly in pencil "patient can memorize huge amounts of information in little time."

"I think we're done, my good fellow."

"Really? Well, that's swell."

The brunette doctor stepped in at that point and eagerly grabbed the sheets, her eyes bright.

"Thanks a million, Lecter."

Joker looked furious.

"I'm not the one you should be thanking, Doctor Mirrel."

"Oh, and, uh, th-thanks, Patient 34029."

I don't believe it, thought the Joker. He's a cannibal yet he gets all the thanks and praise like he's just saved the day.

"Will that be all?" she mumbled timidly.

"I want my lollipop."

"Ah, yes, I promised him a lollipop if he co-operated."

"Are you sure…"she said uncertainly, "…very well, when he's in his cell."