NIGHTWING / BATMAN
THE PENTAGRAM COUNCIL - ORIGINS
Chapter Eight – Resentments
To the Reader
General timeline for this multi-chapter fic is after the events depicted in the Batman and Nightwing series and before the DC 52 Reboot (except for Batgirl 2011—Volumes 1 to 3). Specific timeline for this fic is immediately after the events of Batgirl 2011, Volume 3. This fic also takes the position that events in Batgirl 1 to 3 and the entire "Mirror Arc" happen before the events of Nightwing 2011 #1.
This fic is also set BEFORE the events chronicled in the Grayson comic series...
This fic takes the position that everything that happened thus far in the DC universe will remain as true and that the reboot series (if applicable) are the characters' continuing adventures.
Disclaimer
In this fanfic, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Damian is Robin, and Tim Drake is Red Robin. Minor appearances by Cassandra Cain is Black Bat, Jason Todd is Red Hood, and John Constantine is well...John Constantine... I do not own these lovable DC / Vertigo characters.
However, I do own this fic, Alexandra Emrys, AJ Ishino, Michael Ishino, Asukawa Mako (aka Jii-san), Troy Tsuuri, Asi, Madeline Harvey, Derek Anson, and other original characters that have made an appearance in this fanfic, my other fanfics, and original fanfics.
DAY FOUR
Location – Hallways towards Drawing Room, Wayne Manor
8:30 PM
Dick Grayson / Nightwing's Point of View
Our steps were heavy after our team…our family…had much discussion about the present situation. Just when I personally thought that our family had seen it all, there would always be something that would challenge the conventions that we accepted to be true.
I carefully pondered about John Constantine's suggestion – seek and gain Asi's help and cooperation to start with for AJ's and my sake - and could not help but relive my annoyance for the guy.
Then again came greater dilemmas... How would our family go about seeking a solution to our problem from a mythical figure whose identity was a secret to say the least, when each one of us in the family had a secret of his or her own to protect? There was another conundrum... How could we keep our identities and activities secret from our guests while our alter egos step in to keep them out of harm's way? And then there was another problem... How could my family accomplish all of these requirements and save AJ before it became too late?
As we walked through the long series of hallways to join our guests who have been waiting for us downstairs, we stopped as we saw Alfred meet us halfway.
"The platter is in the room for your review when you get a chance, Master Bruce," said Alfred, with Bruce and the rest of us giving our respective nods regarding the message given to us in code.
I carded my fingers through my hair, and then rested my right hand over the nape of my neck. I admit that I was still preoccupied and tense from the dinner table incident as well as the visit from Constantine, but we did invite guests at the manor. "Our guests, Alfie? How are they? Have they been looking for us?"
"Not so good, if I may say so frankly," said Alfred in a low voice that was loud enough for our ears only. "Young Mister Ishino is still very upset over what happened. His father and Miss Emrys are also upset. Young Mister Tsuuri has been doing his best to keep the peace, but your presence would probably help pacify everyone."
"Why is Michael-san upset?"
"Young Mister Ishino told his father about your secret road trip to Bridgehampton." Alfred paused for a minute, adding, "It's more complicated than a nervous teenager's admission to his father after getting caught sneaking out of the house, Master Richard. Old wounds, for lack of a better term…."
Bruce prompted us to quicken our pace, thanking Alfred while the six of us walked towards the drawing room.
When we reached the drawing room, Bruce apologized to everyone and explained that he just finished making arrangements for heightened security during the concert as well as the gala.
Anyone could feel the heavy aura in the drawing room. Em, who looked as if she was about to blow her lid off at any given moment, sat by the spacious bay window with her arms crossed over her chest. AJ sat opposite Michael-san and Jii-san, with father and son looking as if they hit an uncomfortably abrupt standstill in their conversation. Troy sat behind the piano which was located close to the bay window, the piano serving as a temporary haven away from the crossfire.
Per Michael-san's request, he and Bruce momentarily stepped away from the drawing room.
Cass walked towards Troy, the latter smiling and moving towards the end of the piano seat to give room for my sister. The two started talking, with Troy looking composed and more relieved now that Cass was in the room.
Tim sat on the couch where Lee and AJ sat, while Damian sat opposite Tim at the same sofa where Jii-san and Michael-san sat.
I approached Em and sat down beside her, resting my hand on top of her hand. I held her hand once she relaxed it from a fisted position, telling her in a near-whisper, "I'm really sorry that we took so long. What did we miss?"
Looking at Em take a deep breath to relax her jaw and her body, I could tell that she was just a hairline away from exploding. "A lot, including a thankfully-interrupted outbreak of another world war…and your home shouldn't be the place for this."
Shortly thereafter, Bruce and Michael-san walked in together to join us once more.
"Richard," Michael-san said, his tone calm yet one could tell that he was still upset, "Now that you're here, would you and AJ please tell Jii-san, Bruce-san, and me as to what possessed you two to go to Bridgehampton the other day. Please be aware that AJ did not tell me about this until now. For that, I'm disappointed and worried."
Cass, Troy, Em, and I joined the rest of the party at the couch. Cass and Troy sat beside Tim, while Em and I sat beside Damian.
In-between our given apologies for keeping the Bridgehampton trip a secret, AJ and I took turns in explaining the events that happened there. As Bruce and the rest of the family have agreed to do, I told Michael-san and Jii-san everything including the supernatural mystery surrounding Derek, Madeline, and Asi.
At the corner of my eye as the conversation unfolded, I could see Bruce, Damian, Cass, and Tim making mental notes about what was heard and how everyone who sat across them was reacting.
There was a point in time that Michael-san buried his face with his hand, probably his effort in pushing himself to digest everything that he had just heard. Jii-san, although much more composed than Michael-san, also had concern written on his face.
"AJ…. Son… I have never bad-mouthed your mother to you, but I did tell you since you were a kid to stay away from her…to forget about her. Now you know why…"
Michael-san then paused, shaking his head probably due to disbelief and the other emotions that coursed through him. Finally, he added, "God, AJ… Why did you go to your mother? Do you know what you have just done? Do you know the danger that you and Richard now face?"
I glanced sideways towards my left when Em shifted from her seat, her right arm going over her chest while the fingers of her left hand went over her face and eventually covered her eyes. It was easy to tell that she was more upset now than before.
AJ let out a tired sigh, asking, "Care to say anything about this, Em? You just look like you're dying to share your two cents here."
"Just be nice, AJ…" murmured Em, shaking her head and struggling to keep calm and grounded. "This isn't the place for this…."
"This is the time and place for it," deadpanned AJ, crossing his arms over his chest as he laid back against the couch and taking a second to look upward as his way to regain his obviously-slipping composure – something that I have never seen happen to AJ since I met him years ago. "After what happened at the dinner table, feel free to tell Grayson and me exactly what the hell is going on."
Em was not responding, her left hand beginning to once again form into a fist.
"Or maybe I should ask Troy here that same question. After all, he's the one who probably knows all your deepest, darkest secrets. Did you bring those secrets back, and now it's biting everyone in the ass?"
"AJ!"
Em put her hand up towards Michael-san's direction, respectfully signaling to the elder Ishino that she wished to handle this on her own. She glanced at Michael-san and Jii-san, most probably to silently apologize for what could possibly happen in the next couple of minutes if AJ did not stop.
A tight-lipped Em told my adopted father, "Bruce, I'm sorry about this…"
Em then turned to AJ, her eyes narrowing as she said, "While I still have a sliver of civility left…for the sake of those around us, may we step away from here and have a conversation about this in private?"
"We're having a conversation now. Stop keeping secrets. Everyone here in this room has a right to know."
"AJ – stop this!"
"Dad, please… I'll handle this," said Em to Michael-san, and then she turned once more to face AJ, "Fine, since you want to be a self-professed asshole about this, let's have our conversation here. Unlike you, I'm not a coward who hides behind potshots."
AJ chuckled sarcastically, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, you know what I bloody fucking mean, Andrew James Ishino!" Em then looked down, trying her best yet failing to keep her anger at bay. "You don't – never – believed in the supernatural or even entertained the idea that maybe myths have a historical, factual foundation."
"I'm listening! Why do you think I'm asking you now?" spat AJ, anger still very much alive in his eyes and his gaze showing no signs of backing down even if it was for the sake of those around them.
"You were not ready to hear the truth then, and you're not ready to hear the truth now! I told you everything a long time ago. Instead of believing me, you backed away! Dad told you to stay away from Madeline Harvey, and you came rushing in to embrace her! What part of 'no, you stay away from her' do you not fucking understand?"
I saw Bruce, who remained quiet all this time, paying closer attention. On the outside, he acted just as any person would normally react in a given such as this one before us.
Em then looked away, closing her eyes as she bit her lip to stifle the tears of frustration that threatened to flow from her. She then shook her head, opening her eyes once more as she added, "What, AJ? You want me to repeat for the benefit of embarrassing our elders, you, and me that I've explored the occult since my Mum and Dad died? That all of what I did was not just for archaeology's sake? That the occult was what brought me to Santorini four years ago? That I nearly died because of it? That from thereon out, you've always seen me as the perpetually-lying, cheating ex-girlfriend that you couldn't get rid of?"
AJ quieted down for a couple of seconds, although one could tell from his eyes that he was still furious. "Look, Em… I don't believe in ghosts, demons, the boogeyman, or anything that falls in that category. I only trust in what my five senses can perceive. Now having this hellish flesh-and-blood cult nearly kill Grayson and me the other night, and this cloaked assassin on our tail…now those are reality to me. So, you need to explain to us – what the hell were you doing in Santorini four years ago? What the hell did you bring back from there?"
"I already told you what I could tell you," said Em, now standing up as her body now shook in anger. For a second, she glanced downwards to my direction. As her gaze cooled down as our eyes met, held-back tears escaped from her and streamed down her cheeks.
Em then looked at Michael-san, Jii-san, and Bruce, saying, "I'm very sorry. Excuse me, please. I just…need to go outside…air."
When Em was walking away without giving a response, AJ stood up and reached out for Em. He touched her arm, the gesture completely harmless and not meant to threaten or disrespect her. I could tell from his eyes and the way that he moved that he simply did it to stop her from leaving. "Em, we're not done talking yet. What do you mean by 'I already told you what I could tell you'?"
The next minute stunned everyone…at least I knew I was… It just happened too fast…
In an instant, Em grabbed hold of the hand that AJ used to touch her. The anger was still evident from her eyes as she held AJ's hand and put pressure on it, along with the words said in a calculated and somewhat eerie calmness, "Next time, you and I will take this type of conversation in private. Our elders lost face because of this. I'm much more to blame than you about this."
I could see…feel…how Em applied more pressure on AJ's hand, adding, "And stop blaming or getting fixated over Troy. Get this through your thick head, AJ – I never cheated on you...whether it be with Troy or anyone else. If it weren't for Troy, I wouldn't be alive today even if I didn't want that for myself for a very long time until lately. You should be thanking him…or cursing him…because of that. It depends on how you really feel about the fact that I'm still alive and standing before you today."
Em then let go of AJ's hand, letting that hand of his drop on his side.
AJ, who rubbed and applied pressure on his right hand, saw Em excuse herself from Alfred as the two nearby bumped into each other by the entrance of the drawing room.
I sighed, scanning the room quietly and seeing how my siblings reacted through their eyes. Bruce communicated through his eyes to follow Em and leave the remainder of the conversation to the rest of them.
I patted AJ on the back, asking, "You all right, Ishino?"
AJ gratefully nodded, replying as he continued to massage his hand, "I'll be fine. Just please follow Em, Grayson. She's not thinking straight right now, and neither am I… It's not safe for anyone right now - not after that note and what happened tonight …"
After patting my friend behind the back and giving Michael-san and Jii-san a reverent bow to excuse myself from the room, I tried to catch up with Em who was at least thirty paces ahead of me by this time.
DAY FOUR
Location – Main Garden, Wayne Manor
9:30 PM
Dick Grayson / Nightwing's Point of View
"Em! Em! Wait up!"
I sprinted until I caught up with Em, who slowed down her pace on my account. I slowed down even further, taking our pace into a more casual stroll in efforts to calm her down.
A couple of minutes later, I gazed sideways to assess as to how Em's temperament was at this time. I held up a consoling hand, offering for her to take it.
Giving me a furtive glance, Em asked with a raised eyebrow, "You sure that you want me to hold that hand of yours?"
I could not help but chuckle when I heard Em say that to me, her tone much calmer and semi-apologetic. "I told you that I'm patient and a risk-taker, didn't I?"
Once again, I offered my hand – this time, lifting it higher as my sign that I would love for her to take my offer and adding the invitation, "Come on...try me..."
Em gave me a small smile, taking my hand as we walked in a comfortable, casual pace.
Holding Em's hand as we continued our walk, I led us to the middle of the garden where there were a series of wooden benches encircling a huge water fountain…the rhythmic sound of flowing water along with the different colors of soft lights offering a well-lit yet calming ambiance to those who wish to stay around and enjoy the scenery.
Em sat on the bench, facing me and crossing her legs to be comfortable. The two of us sat quietly for a while, with her glancing upward at times to look at the stars. There were times that she looked downward to let her gaze rest on our clasped hands…with her affectionately tightening the hold of my hand.
Eventually, Em chose to break the silence between us by saying, "Dick, I'm very sorry about what happened back there. I still feel embarrassed about it. I've held back all these years just to avoid something like this. Today's not a good day, I guess. I've been holding back my tongue and temper for more than four hours. I tried, but I just lost it."
"Don't worry about it," I reassured Em, my free hand reaching out to touch and rest on top of the hand that I have been holding. "You and AJ were on edge tonight. Can't blame anyone, especially after what happened at the dining table. AJ's my friend, but he wasn't being helpful back there."
"AJ knows how to push people's buttons if he wants to piss you off. Even the saintly don't stand a chance, and I'm far from being saintly. But at the same time, I don't know if he's aware of doing that whenever it has something to do with the past...our relationship." Em sighed, falling quiet once more. She then shook her head and sighed, saying in a near-whisper, "I was looking forward to our date...just you and me, Dick. Some date we're having tonight, huh?"
After many minutes of silence, I broke the ice between Em and me by asking, "Em, I keep an open mind about things. AJ's still bent out of shape about Santorini. And then there was tonight… What happened back there at the dining table? What were you and AJ talking about when you two were arguing? If you know anything, please tell me."
Seeing the hesitation in Em's eyes, I pleaded, "What happened back there…the word unusual doesn't even cover it… AJ burnt that note to a crisp. Before that, my fingers managed to burn four holes through that paper when I only touched it for a few seconds. Why does AJ keep harping about you keeping secrets?"
"I was in a dark place for a long time since my parents died," said Em before she paused, looking hurt as an unwelcome part of her life was now being discussed. When she finally mustered more courage inside her, she added, "When I was nine, they died days after an archaeological dig had gone wrong in Thera...an island in Santorini. They were trying to get clues...proof...about the existence of Atlantis and its civilization's ties with Egypt. I was inside those caves along with them. I was there throughout the entire time they suffered and died at the hospital, lying in a hospital bed in-between theirs. They barely managed to save me. Because they saved me, they couldn't save themselves. To say that I took their deaths hard was an understatement. Something happened in those cave that I couldn't understand. Something unearthly...supernatural. Things...knowledge...came to me easily before, but it became more natural...fluid...since that incident. I took advantage of whatever good I got out of it. I got out there in the big, bad world as quickly as I could to find answers. I studied a lot, breezed through school, and then got done with the academics at an early age to get my degrees. I was younger, more impulsive, and damned scarred in so many ways back then. All of that, and I had all the free time in the world. Those conditions proved to be one of the most volatile combinations that one could ever be in. And so, I traveled a lot in nearly every part of the world. I followed where the clues were…all to find answers to my questions."
"And what answers were you seeking?"
A chill traveled down my spine when Em replied, a handful of tears which beaded at the corner of her eyes now flowing down her cheeks, "How do I get my parents back from the dead. Who…or what… really killed them inside that cave... What is the full extent of my role...and what role am I supposed to play in all of this?"
"So, you dabbled in the occult?"
It took a while before Em nodded. I could clearly see a sense of shame reflected through those expressive hazel brown eyes of hers. "I'd be gone for months on end. I went to many places where a phone or any form of communication wouldn't be available - either because the technology wasn't there, or the conditions weren't safe for me to communicate via phone or any other means. I went underground, hung out with the worst and darkest of them. I read and had accessed so many dark texts…grimoires, incantations…. I lost count on how many dark gatherings and rituals I managed to sneak in and observe. I had the see, touch, review, research, do-not-fully-join-or-participate mentality throughout those years. Back then, I didn't care much about living. I used nearly everything that I could to survive, get to the next clue, and arrive closer to my goals. I was hurting so much, yet I wore this mask pretending that everything was fine. I hid all that pain and the times that I couldn't handle it...charged it to just being too busy...too passionate...about field work. My parents, and then Michael-san along with Jii-san, gave AJ and me a good foundation to be well-rounded, socially graceful, aware, independent, and protected as young as they could give us. So the martial arts came along with music, the love of horses, and the tutors in various subjects. You name it, we learned it. Before I started gallivanting and during those times, I made sure that I learned as much as I could to give me an edge. While I was out there, I made sure that I learned much more. I was a loose cannon at that time. I just cared about surviving long enough to finish my goal. I didn't...refused...to see...to believe...a life, happiness, or peace after I get my goals. I only cared about the answer, and making sure that the the ones I'd be leaving behind after all of this would be safe. That they...all of them...would be fine without me..."
"So I guess AJ, Michael-san, and Jii-san didn't know about what was going on with you?"
"AJ...definitely not as much because I was happy whenever I was around him. For a good, long time, I felt that the darkness went away whenever AJ and I were together. Nana May and the staff in England saw that things weren't okay whenever I returned from these long trips. Michael-san and Jii-san knew as well that I was struggling. Heart-to-heart talks...? I kept it at a bare minimum...something that AJ and Nana May didn't understand while Michael-san, Jii-san, and Troy did."
Em then fell silent for a while, taking the time to gather her thoughts before resuming her story by adding, "Before, the desire to get to the answer was the same as the comfort and peace that I got whenever I was with AJ and everyone. Being with AJ felt like an escape from all the demons that plagued me. Before, I thought that I could handle it all. Then reality set in. The closer that I got to the answer, the more that the love of those around me wasn't enough to fill that gaping hole inside me. The bigger that my obsession became, the greater was the desire for the answer and the shame that came along with it. I couldn't deny it any more that since my Mum and Dad died, there had never been peace within me. During those obsessed days, I was so close to ending everything so many times. It affected my relationships greater than it ever did, with AJ wanting answers on what was really going on with me. That made things harder...seeing the hurt and uncertainty in his eyes. His eyes said it all - it was as if he was looking at a stranger whenever he looked at me. Eventually, I couldn't fool myself or anyone anymore. I learned the hard way that I couldn't delve into total darkness unscathed."
There was a regretful half-smile that escaped from Em's lips as she added, "I first met Troy years ago during the first of my travels. He was introduced to me as a possible guide or companion on my travels. Ever since then, Troy and I developed a long-standing friendship. It was a friendship that I welcomed. He was the only one who I felt that I could really talk to about what was truly going on with me. He didn't judge me. I didn't feel the need to hide whatever I felt from him. I wasn't afraid that I would be hurting him as I would a loved one because of my stupidity. The first time that he accompanied me on an expedition was during my trip to Santorini. At the time, I was this close to finding my answers. My goal was to finish the trip, put everything behind me, and live peacefully. And then things went horribly wrong during that trip. Apparently, I almost died – this time, not by my hand or choice. If it weren't for Troy being there and getting me medical attention, I would've been dead. Next thing I knew, I woke up from a coma while confined in a hospital at Kamakura. I had broken bones and injuries in different places, but they all healed over time. My heart, mind, and spirit are a different story, though..."
"AJ visited me at the hospital, and so did Troy. Troy's visits bothered AJ a lot, and we argued so many times about Troy. AJ went from deathly worried to insanely jealous, and then to horribly bitter and deeply resentful. I told AJ everything that I told you just now. I lost his trust. I broke him because of it. Because of it, he chose to end the relationship. I was hurt…devastated…but I couldn't blame him… Things between AJ and me have been so broken since then. It has been hard on both sides for many reasons. Our break-up didn't mean that our family and business relationships were severed. On top of that, Troy is part of Ishino Trading so AJ couldn't easily dismiss him. Michael-san and Jii-san talked to AJ and me about settling our differences amicably. At times, it's bearable. On other times...well, you know how that ends up."
Falling quiet for a little while as she glanced at Wayne Manor, Em shook her head as she continued, "I learned and lost so much since Santorini, Dick. I fell to an even darker place while I tried my hardest to accept AJ's decision. For the first time in years since my parents died, I cried when that happened four years ago. How could I possibly move on when the very person who was my reason to live doesn't want any part of me anymore? I was dying inside. I wanted to just pack my bags and disappear...to go back to that dark world that nearly destroyed me...to just give up and be destroyed...or maybe find a place there where I'd belong. I thought that maybe everyone who I loved and cared for would be better off without me."
"But you didn't. You chose to fight back. You chose to believe and hope."
"Because I had never been a quitter, Dick. Charge it to false pride, I guess."
"Quitting is not a good option, no matter how tempted one might be."
Em let out a sigh, then nodded in agreement with me. "I decided to stay away from it all, and so I took a hiatus from field archaeology. By this time, AJ had officially removed himself from anything that has to do with me. Only Troy knew the full reason behind the career change. Troy encouraged me to find something that I'll be passionate about. I tapped into one of those odd jobs that I've done to tide me over during my travels so that there would be additional monies flowing in my bank account - songwriting. Dad, Jii-san, Nana May, Troy, and the rest of my household staff continued being very supportive of me. Through Troy's connections, and with Dad's blessing and help, I went to the entertainment business. As backup, in case that the new career didn't work out or the royalties dried up, I continued the consultant-curator work and increased my focus on the academic side of archaeology. I wanted to heal...move on...find myself..."
What Em just said made me curious, and so I asked. "Wait a minute... Aren't you part-owner of Ishino Trading? It's not as if you'd be hurting for money."
"You'd never know what would happen in the future. I'd like to be practical in my spending habits. I still get involved in Ishino Trading, just as my Mum and Dad did when they were still alive...maybe more than they did. I'm familiar with financial reports, trends, and what they would mean for the short-term and long-term. I still get involved in the decision-making process. I meet and negotiate in behalf of the company. However, I want to make a living...something that I'd call my own. I'm very lucky that the songwriting branched out into something more than I hoped for. I never realized it until I chose to do it, but it became a good mental and emotional outlet for me. The music...the lyrics...they help fill that hole even for a little while. The longer that I do it, the longer that the emptiness is filled."
I frowned a bit, and then took a deep breath. It was a lot to process, but that did not stop me from inquiring, "Then why did you hide your hurt from AJ? Why didn't you give him a chance to be there for you, especially when you needed it most? Save for Troy, why did you hide it from the people who mattered to you most?"
"Because I gave my word to not speak of anything more than what I just shared with you, Dick. I also gave my word that I shouldn't disclose why things had to be kept a secret. I gave my word to exclude AJ...to keep him as far away from this as possible... I can only say what I just told you. I can only speak for my secrets, for those are my own to tell. And so now you know exactly what AJ knows. Everything hinges on my word of honor - the only decent thing that I have left after all of this. The right to divulge anything more than what I told you no longer belongs to me. You and AJ are different. AJ either got lost in his anger and disbelief so that he didn't ask questions, or he asked questions but he didn't listen to what was being said. You asked questions, and you are now left with more questions...understandably so."
"You gave your word to Troy to keep Santorini a secret?"
"It wasn't Troy, Dick..."
"You and AJ paid a heavy price for your secret," I told Em while this heavy feeling weighed down on my chest. I did my best to remain empathetic as I asked, "And what about Michael-san, AJ, and Jii-san? What about my family? What about your friends, such as Lee? It'll be best if you tell all of us everything that you know. Withholding any more information exposes everyone to so much danger. You see what's happening now, don't you? You see and feel what you've lost."
"I don't blame AJ one bit," Em reiterated. "The person that AJ grew up with and loved is far different from the one who barely made it out alive and had been taken home to Kamakura. Since the day my parents died, I've seen, heard, and done things that a person that young should've not seen. Hell, any person should've not gone through the things that I did during those days. If AJ knew the entire truth, then maybe things would've been different...but he's kept away from them for all the right reasons."
"You make it sound as if you've killed someone before," I said, keeping my gaze on her as I just threw the preposterous-sounding idea out-of-the-blue.
"If I say that I did, and not just once, what do you have to say about that?" asked Em, sounding calm yet serious as her eyes did not waver from me.
I was just stunned speechless from hearing that from Em. I absolutely did not expect that response from her.
Em closed her eyes, shaking her head a bit during the silence between us. She murmured after letting out a heavy sigh, "You're taking our talk rather calmly, Dick Grayson. Either you're customarily cool as a cucumber, saintly, or I just basically scared the hell out of you so that you couldn't talk."
"I still don't understand why AJ had to be kept in the dark like that. And what about Michael-san and Jii-san...what do they think about Troy?" I commented, feeling the complexity of the situation between my college friend and the woman who I now wish to date.
"Michael-san and Jii-san both understand my relationship with Troy. He's not just a friend, band-mate, and business manager. He's also part of Ishino Trading as my right hand in looking out for my share of the interest. I'm not the only one who had another career before getting involved in the entertainment business. I'm also not the only one who juggles between the old and the new careers."
"And about AJ? If he's kept in the dark like this-"
Em interjected, "If you were AJ, what would you have done? Would you have made the same choices that he did? Would you have ended everything between us with little that you know? Would you turn your back from everything we've had since childhood because I delved into a world which made you question the very core of my being?"
I could not help but let out a sigh. Thinking back about Lori Elton, Koriand'r, and Babs, I honestly replied, "It's a tough question, Em. As Dick Grayson, hearing the story from you as we speak, I'd say that there should've been more communication between the two of you. I've been in AJ's shoes before and I've made relationship decisions that I wasn't very proud of. Because of that, I ended up hurting that special someone and myself at the same time. Love makes people think irrationally...sometimes to the point that the love warps into something ugly."
"Well, then, here's another question for you... What would you choose if the very people you love and wish to protect are at stake? One choice is to forever swallow all the hate and disgust that they'll have for you because you kept your secret from them, yet that very secret would save them. The second choice is to continue having their love and trust by being truthful, but your truthfulness leaves them fully vulnerable...and all that you can do is helplessly watch them be destroyed. Would you choose differently if something much greater is at stake?"
"You're speaking in riddles, Em," I said to her as gently as I could. "How can we all avoid this danger…help you…when you wouldn't tell us everything?"
Without acknowledging what I just told her, yet knowing that what I said hit the very root of her hurt, Em asked me again, "So, tell me – what would you have chosen if you were me, Dick? If the stakes were substantially higher, would you have chosen differently?"
Em's question did not have an easy answer, especially if it was presented to me at a time such as today. As respectfully as it was asked, it still felt as if it was a huge, stinging slap across the face. I was left speechless. What was there for me to say when I have my own secret that I live with everyday for as long as I could remember?
And so, my reply was, "I wouldn't know, Em. If I think about what lengths I'd go through to keep my family safe, I'd say that I'd do nearly anything and everything to make sure that it stays that way. I'm assuming that this was the choice that you had to make...? Would there have been another choice for you?"
"Michael-san, Jii-chan, Troy, my family in England, my band-mates, AJ, and now you and your family. As small as that circle might be, that's my world...my family... It doesn't matter to me how much any of the people in my world would hate me. What matters to me is that they're safe and happy." Em's tears flowed more generously as she continued explaining, "The choice I made was the path of least resistance for everyone else. The cross would be mine to bear. If time had turned back and given me the chance to undo what I did, I would still make the same choices that brought all of us here today. It hurts. I have to console myself knowing that I did the right thing. It costed me everything that money couldn't buy, but my loved ones are alive because of my choices. I have to live with my choices and the regret every day, even if it means that at times I might feel as if I'll be losing everything and everyone else."
My heart was still heavy. I did not know how to react now that I heard what Em had to say. My hand automatically reached out and rested on Em's back in hopes of giving her some comfort and peace. I had to face my own double-standards: I have a deep secret, and yet I expect the person next to me to reveal everything. However, I couldn't help but tell Em, "We've only met a very short time, Em, but I like you. My family likes you, too. If something happens to you, we'll be sad...especially me. If people you've only met a short time would feel that way about you, what more for those who have loved you all this time? Don't you think that they'll be sad whenever you're sad?"
Em then bowed her head, quietly crying in silence.
My head snapped, and I lifted my gaze as the lights from the fountain as well as the manor blacked out at the same time.
I saw Em stir from her seat.
I tightly clasped Em's hand, with both of us rising from where we sat. My blood froze as I saw an ominous and mysterious fog slowly but surely roll in from the far-left portion of the estate…the fog getting denser and taking a seemingly more sinister shape the closer that it crept towards the main garden.
"Em… we head for the Manor..." I said in a near-whisper as I held her hand more tightly, feeling that sickening evil radiating from the fog. My feet began moving backwards...the two of us backing away from the approaching fog that Em and I now faced, "Run, and don't let go!"
As Em and I turned and ran, she yelled, "We'll go faster if you let go of my hand, Dick! I'll keep up with you!"
And so Em and I sprinted as fast as our legs could carry us from where we stood, our sights set on Wayne Manor as she and I did not dare to look back – all while the fog swallowed the darkness in its path, now picking up speed as it trailed…ran after us…doing its best to get as close to our heels as possible.
End Chapter Eight
